Fortune Favors The Brave
by Shoshanna33
Summary: Set after Buffy season 7. Sunnydale is destroyed and the gang has all parted ways. They meet up when Angel and his gang need help fighting Wolfram and Hart. Buffy/Spike shippiness. Buffy/Angel friendship. Lots of drama.
1. A Price For Everything

**Authors Note: This is a story I wrote a long time ago. I used to have it on my website but my website no longer exists, so I'm putting the story here. Enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer:** I own none of these characters. I merely use them for my own amusement. This story however, belongs to me, Shoshanna, and my website, Fool For Love. If you'd like to archive it, just ask me.

**Author's Note: **This is a series I've titled **Fortune Favors The Brave.** This is part one, **A Price For Everything.** It's set in my imaginary season five of Angel. BtVS characters crossover, making one big, not so necessarily happy, family. Spoilers for BtVS and Angel up to the finales. Eventually the story will take a Buffy/Spike turn—but I'm working up to it. Be patient. J These things take time.

**Summary:** Angel tries to come to grips with some tough choices he's made, and possible consequences for those actions. Willow arrives in LA with a purpose, and Buffy grapples with her place in a world full of Slayers.

**Rating:** PG-13

**:: Fortune Favors The Brave ::**

**A Price For Everything**

Nothing is an accident

We are free to have it all

We are what we want to be

It's in ourselves to rise or fall

~ _**Fortune Favors The Brave-Aida**_

He felt like he was drowning. He could feel the waves of panic and despair overcome him.

_Something isn't right..._He thought to himself. _Why do I feel so lost?_

Then he saw the man. He was always there, lurking in every shadow. Only he wasn't really a man, he was some kind of fiend; a monster.

"I love you Connor." The monster said to him. "I'll always love you."

_Connor? Why was he always calling me Connor? I need to get out of here._ He thought to himself.

He turned to run, but before he could make it more than a step, the monster was on him. He tackled him to the ground and pulled out a large knife.

"I love you, Connor. And I'll prove it." He said as he brought the knife down across his throat.

Steven woke up with a panicked gasp, as he clutched at his throat. He was having the dreams again. The same dreams he'd been having all summer. They made no sense to him, but they were always the same. The same brooding man, the same professions of love, and then...and then the knife. Slashing across his throat... He could feel the burning pain even now.

He pulled himself out of bed and went to the bathroom. He switched the light on and stared into the mirror. It was the same face he'd been staring at for the last eighteen years. The same bathroom mirror he used to make silly faces in, when he was only five. It was the same bathroom his mother used to comfort him in, when he was ill. She'd sit there and press a cool washcloth to his forehead, murmuring that he'd be better soon and that she loved him.

So why did all of this seem unfamiliar to him right now? Why did the face staring back at him seem to belong to another person? And the man...the man from his dreams... Steven had his eyes.

_You're being ridiculous! Stop doing this to yourself_, he scolded himself. _It's just a dream. A nightmare. It means nothing._

He tried to tell himself it was just nerves. He was excited, but afraid of the future. He was starting college in less than 3 weeks. It was normal he'd feel a little out of sorts. He was leaving home, and his family, for the first time. Maybe everyone went through this? He wondered. But this seemed like something more.

He took a drink of water from the sink, and splashed some cool water on his face. He then headed back to his bed, determined to dream of anything else but the mysterious stranger.

"This place sucks." Kennedy pouted to Willow, over breakfast.

"Kennedy, we've only been here for a short time. Give it a chance." Willow sighed.

"I know. But now that I'm a Slayer, I guess I expected there'd be, I don't know, actual slaying involved."

"Well, the fact that there hasn't been anything evil going bump in the night, is usually a plus." Willow explained with a small smile.

"Yeah... I mean, it's not like I want bad things to happen. It's just, Giles said there was a Hellmouth here. I guess I expected to see some actual Hellmouth-y things."

"I'm sure we will. Things never stay quiet for long. But one thing I've learned from growing up in Sunnydale is evil seems to take a holiday over the summer." Willow said thoughtfully.

"It does?" Kennedy laughed, disbelieving.

"Well, things do seem to slow down. I mean sure there's your random vamp, or demon slaying...But it seems like the fact that the days are longer, there's less actual nighttime for the creepy crawlies to come out. I guess they do a lot of evil planning, and less doing, in the summer."

"Well, I can't wait to kick some ass. I mean, I've got all these powers, and the only thing I've managed to do with them since we left Sunnydale, is rearrange furniture in this apartment." Kennedy said with a pout.

"I'm sure things will pick up, believe me. But for now, why don't we just enjoy the quiet time?" Willow suggested, with a raised eyebrow. "I can think of some other things you can do with all that power."

"I like the way you think" Kennedy smiled, as she leaned over and kissed Willow.

Angel sat at his desk, reclining in the heavy leather chair. He folded his arms across his chest and looked out the window. He'd gotten used to watching the sun rise each morning, without fear of bursting into flames. One of the perks of his new position was the wonderful necro-tinted windows. He wished he'd known about these before.

He still lived at the hotel, but anyone would be hard pressed to find him there. He spent most of his time in that office, and no one was quite sure what exactly he did in there all day.

He owned the Hyperion outright now. It was another part of his deal with Wolfram and Hart. He didn't find much use for the place anymore, but he wanted the others to have a place to call home. He figured since he was dealing with devil, he may as well get everything he wanted, no matter how trivial. He had really only wanted one thing, and they had delivered that. Owning the hotel was just a small bonus. All he had wanted was Connor's happiness. A fresh start; free of the burdens that Angel never would have wished on his son.

Connor's happiness was the only thing that mattered to Angel, but not a day went by that he didn't wonder if he'd made the right choice. Connor didn't remember him, and nobody remembered Connor. It was as if the last two years didn't happen. It was something he hadn't considered when he'd made the deal.

Everyone else had very different memories of what happened. Darla had come back, but not pregnant. Holtz had come back, but Connor was never part of his vendetta against Angel. Wes and he had still had a falling out, Justine had still attempted to murder Wes, but it had nothing to do with Connor. It had been all about getting to Angel. Cordy was still comatose, but no one remembered that Connor and she had slept together. No one knew that Jasmine wasn't only Cordy's pseudo-child, but Connor's as well. It was something only Angel knew, and carried with him. Much like the twenty four hours he became human, and had a perfect love with Buffy. Only to have it reversed. And again, he was the only one who remembered.

Twice he had given up something he wanted more than anything, to do what he perceived as the 'right' thing. Lately he was beginning to question his judgments. Was he really any better than Jasmine was? Altering people's minds, just to make things 'right' in his own eyes? To make things fit what he thought they should be? He couldn't help but doubt himself now.

"Good morning, Mr. Angel." Paula smiled. She was Angel's new secretary. She held out a tray, offering him a cup of coffee and a fresh pint of blood.

"Just leave it on the desk." He said absently.

"Certainly, Mr. Angel." She smiled dutifully.

"You don't have to keep calling me that." He said with a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Angel." She said sheepishly, not realizing she'd made the mistake again.

"Paula? That is your name, right?"

She nodded quickly.

"Okay, Paula, call me Angel. Please. Drop the 'Mr.' it's just Angel. You know? Like Prince or Madonna." He explained.

"Of course... Angel." She smiled at him happily.

"Great." He nodded.

She stood there staring at him, with a blank smile on her face. Angel went to drink his coffee and noticed she was rooted in her spot.

"Can I help you with something?" He asked her curiously.

Flustered, she stammered, "No. I'm sorry...I was just waiting for my instructions."

"Instructions?"

"Yes."

Angel sighed wearily. He wasn't used to all this formality. He should have stated in his contract that he wanted a casual atmosphere. No more of this "Mr. Angel, I'm waiting for my instructions" crap.

"You can go now." He told her finally.

Paula hurried out of the office and shut the door behind her.

Sometimes Angel just longed for the way things were before. It all seemed simpler then. He was still doing the same things as always, only now if he needed something researched, he had an entire evil law firm at his disposal. Anything he needed, it was his. Most people would appreciate and enjoy that, but Angel always preferred to do things the hard way. It was years before he'd even use a computer, preferring to rely on instincts and ancient texts to guide his way.

But the rest of his crew seemed more than at home here. For that he was pleased. He was over two hundred years old and he supposed it was a lot harder for him to adapt than everyone else. But he'd do it.

He thought about Connor again, and tried to remember how happy he had looked with his new family. Then he remembered how much Connor had despised him. It pained him greatly, even now, but it was the only way he could go on. He had to remember the hate Connor had for him and his life, or else he could never justify what he had done.

Willow was sitting at her computer doing some mindless internet surfing. It was actually nice to relax and to not have an impending apocalypse breathing down her neck. Kennedy had finally gotten some Slayer action, and was out now patrolling 'her Hellmouth' as she liked to call it.

Willow chuckled to herself at the thought of her girlfriend owning her own Hellmouth. I mean, isn't that what every little girl dreams of? She wondered sarcastically to herself.

She and Kennedy had moved to Cleveland after Sunnydale became a crater. Everyone had gone their separate ways. Xander went to Minneapolis where he had a cousin. He had promised him a job at the hardware store he owned there. Xander had needed to think of a new career path when he had lost his eye. There wasn't a big demand for one eyed construction workers, whose credentials got sucked into a Hellmouth. It was either his cousins hardware store, or be forever relegated to playing a pirate at children's birthday parties.

Giles had gone back to England to try and rebuild what was left of his life there. He had taken three of the new Slayers with him. He was trained as a Watcher, and with so many new Slayers out there, he wanted to at least do a small part to help them.

Faith and Robin had moved to Mexico together. She wasn't willing to go back to jail, and Robin had nothing else to do. Faith was a challenge to him, and vice versa. They both agreed it was just convenient that they happened to be going the same way and decided to share a bus ride. Last thing Willow had heard, Faith and Robin had opened a cantina on the beach. They were just 'friends' but Willow knew better than that. They also hadn't given up the good fight. Faith knew she still had a lot to atone for, and she hadn't forgotten that. It turned out that there were quite a few evil things lurking by the beach at night. There was a reason they told tourists not to venture off alone away from the resorts. But what the travel bureaus didn't tell people was why. Somehow vampire infested beaches weren't in any of the brochures.

Buffy and Dawn had headed elsewhere. Willow wasn't exactly sure where. Buffy said she didn't want to have a plan. She was done with plans, because they never turned out the way she wanted them to. They had said their goodbyes, and Buffy promised to get in touch with her once she'd settled in somewhere. She was fully ready to start living again, this time as Buffy, and not the Slayer.

Willow understood. Buffy had been the only one for so long, it must have felt nice to not have anything to save or a sacred duty to fulfill. Kennedy had not shared Buffy's view. But then again, Kennedy and Buffy had never seen things the same way. Kennedy was energized with her new power, and a sense of purpose she'd never had. She'd always been the spoiled little rich girl, which had suited her just fine, until now. Now she knew what and who she was, and she embraced it, rather than run from it. She was no longer spoiled brat Kennedy, she was a Slayer.

Although Willow had to admit being a spoiled rich girl had its perks. Their apartment for instance. Kennedy's parents had no idea why she chose to move to Cleveland, but they supported her fully. This meant a furnished apartment for them to live in, rent free. And now that Kennedy had found some evil to fight, she was really thriving.

Willow on the other hand spent most evenings surfing the internet, or visiting Wiccan chat rooms. She knew she could patrol with Kennedy, the way she always had with Buffy, but it didn't seem her place now. Kennedy had met up with two other Slayers in the city, and Willow was the odd man out. She may have been a powerful witch, but she wasn't a Slayer. That fact was beginning to bother her quite a lot lately. She wasn't quite sure why. She'd always been the 'sidekick' of a Slayer. It was a club she'd never get to join. And she thought she was okay with that. But when she had met the two other Slayers, Willow had flashbacked to how it felt when Faith first strolled into town.

Willow had been threatened by Faith, thinking that Buffy didn't need her because she wasn't a Slayer and wouldn't understand. Willow had grown a lot since then, and had spent several months 'sharing' Kennedy with other potential Slayers. It shouldn't have been any new thing. But now they weren't potential, they were actual Slayers. And with that came a whole new attitude.

This time it was more than just jealousy. In fact she wasn't jealous at all, really. She merely felt lonely. She wasn't a part of Kennedy's circle. She desperately wanted someone else to talk to about magic, because it was so important to her. It was times like this, she missed Tara so much. She had understood her so well. And knew what it was like for Willow to have this power inside her. A power that she needed to harness and control. Kennedy still didn't understand it fully. She tried, but she couldn't understand. Not any more than Willow could fully understand what it meant to be a Slayer.

Willow disconnected from her computer and stood up. She was going to read for a little while, and then get some sleep. She walked over to the couch and suddenly got a blinding pain in her head. She grabbed her temples and crumpled to the floor.

Images of an office building, and souls in torment, plagued her. Nothing was clear, but she felt their pain. Flashes of people bustling around, papers everywhere, and a man behind a desk. She felt his torment the most. It was crippling. Willow cried out, but there was no one to hear her. The man in the chair swirled around, and she saw his face. It was Angel.

Then as quickly as it had come to her, it was gone. The images went away, and the pain in her skull subsided. She lay on the floor gasping for breath.

"Angel..." She whispered to herself. She knew something was wrong with him, but she didn't know what. She didn't understand what had just happened to her.

She pulled herself together and made it to the couch. She looked around for the phone, and realized she had no one to call. Who would she call? Buffy was unreachable, Giles was in England...There was no one. She could call Angel, but what would she say?

"Hey Angel, suffering much? Why don't you tell me all about it?" She shook her head. That wouldn't work. Of course Angel was suffering. That was kind of his job. He was the brooding master, with the curse and everything.

She leaned back into the couch and shut her eyes. It must have just been some kind of weird psychic thing. She was so tapped into the energy around her, that sometimes she felt other people's thoughts and pain. This must have just been a long distance reminder of that. But, why now? Why Angel? She wondered to herself.

She was still feeling confused, and nursing her migraine, when Kennedy waltzed in the front door.

"I'm back!" Kennedy proclaimed loudly. "I had the best time!"

Willow winced, "Great. Can you keep it down a bit though?" She said miserably.

Kennedy dropped her weapons bag and sat on the couch next to Willow.

"What's wrong?" She asked her, careful to be quiet about it.

"I've got a migraine. I'm ok though. I think I just need to sleep it off." Willow said, as she slowly got up and made her way to the bedroom.

"Well, wait up, I'll come with you. I'll make it all better." Kennedy said with a smile.

"Really, I think I just need a nice quiet room." Willow said, trying not to hurt Kennedy's feelings.

"Oh...okay. Well, I'll try not to wake you when I come to bed." She said softly.

Willow didn't even look back as she closed the bedroom door. Kennedy wondered what was really going on. Willow seemed odd to her. But she knew she was probably being silly. Willow had a headache, of course she seemed odd. She was in pain. Kennedy shrugged off the feeling and went to make Willow an ice pack for her head. She'd appreciate that, Kennedy thought to herself.

Willow woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. She glanced at the clock and realized it was nearly 11:30am. She never slept that late. Her head was still pounding when she rolled over and grabbed it off the receiver.

"Hello?" She said sleepily.

"Did I wake you?" Buffy asked cheerfully.

Willow pulled herself up and tried to pretend to be awake.

"Buffy? Is that you?" She was startled to hear her voice after all this time.

"It's me. Sorry I didn't call you sooner, but-"

"You were busy?"

Buffy was silent for a moment.

"Yeah, I've been busy. Settling into my new life and all. You know how it is." She said softly.

Kennedy rolled over and pulled the pillow over her head. It was still early for her and she didn't want to be disturbed. Willow had forgotten she was there for a minute, and made an attempt to speak in a quieter voice.

"So how have you been? _Where_ have you been?" Willow asked her curiously.

"Well, I've been okay...Good actually. Dawn and I are living in Oregon."

"Oregon? Why Oregon?"

"I don't know...It's pretty. Quiet. It's nice." _And completely boring..._Buffy thought to herself.

"Well that's good. I-I mean, quiet is good." Willow assured her.

"It is good." Buffy agreed, not feeling the enthusiasm. "So how is Cleveland? Hellmouth-y?"

"Yeah...It's alright. Kennedy made some new Slayer friends. They've been busy, you know, with the slaying of things." Willow said awkwardly.

"Great. So then it feels like home then?" Buffy laughed slightly.

"Very homey." Willow lied.

"So it's really just like old times. I mean, Hellmouth, Slayer..."

"Slayer's." Willow corrected her. "And yeah, I guess it is like old times. Except for the you not being the Slayer part."

"Well, I still am. I-I mean, kinda. I _am_ a Slayer, just not, _the _Slayer anymore." Buffy said a bit wistfully.

"Right. Of course. It's just, well, you wanted to give it up right? Live for Buffy, now?" Willow reminded her.

"Yeah, absolutely. I'm all about Buffy now. It's Buffy time. And it's good. I mean I'm busy, I have a job, and—"

"You have a job? What're you doing?" Willow asked interestedly.

"Um, just some secretarial work. I answer phones and stuff. It's great."

_Actually I'm a telemarketer, people hang up on me all day long, and my life is so dull I want to scream..._Was what Buffy really wanted to say.

But she wanted Willow to think she was doing well. More than well, she wanted her to think that she finally had everything she ever wanted. She was a normal girl. Ordinary in every way. Except for the fact she'd only recently averted another apocalypse, aided in activating all the Slayers of the world, lost the man she loved as he burned to death from mystical energies, and watched as her entire city got sucked into a Hellmouth. _Oh_ _yeah, she was completely ordinary_, she thought sarcastically.

"I'm really glad to hear that you're doing so well. I'm happy for you Buffy." Willow said sincerely.

"Thanks. I'm happy you're doing well too. You are right? I mean, things still all happy with you and Kennedy?" Buffy asked her.

Willow glanced over at Kennedy and smiled slightly.

"Yeah, things are good. We're good."

Willow turned her head towards the window. The light streamed through, and she got a pulsing pain in her head. She suddenly remembered the strange vision she had had of Angel last night. She wondered if she should tell Buffy. This was just the sort of thing she'd run straight to Buffy with, back in the day.

"Willow? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking." Willow apologized.

"About what?"

"Something kinda strange happened last night." Willow began, "But it's nothing. Never mind."

She decided that if Buffy so happy now she didn't need to know about her silly vision. It probably meant nothing anyway.

"Will, you can tell me. I mean, I know I'm not around now, but we're still friends, right?" Buffy inquired.

"Of course we are. It's nothing. I mean, I _am_ living back on a Hellmouth. 'Something strange happened' is kinda the motto, remember?" Willow pointed out with a smile.

"Right. I forgot."

Buffy hadn't forgotten at all. In fact some part of her was hoping Willow would tell her something major was brewing. Something that required her attention. Buffy was desperate for a reason to go back to the fight, but she didn't want to admit that to anyone. Especially not herself. She was no longer needed anymore. She had to face that. There were plenty of other Slayers who could take care of the world, should it need saving again. But that was the problem. She wanted a way out, and she got it. And now that she had it, she didn't want it anymore.

Buffy had hung up the phone and sat staring out the window. The apartment they had rented was nestled in a wooded area, with a clear view of the mountains. It had been just the type of place Buffy had wanted. Quiet and a little secluded. At the time, all she had been after was a break. A vacation from everything she had dealt with for so many years. But after four months of escapism, she was already bored. And lonely. Very lonely. She knew no one here, and aside from Dawn, she rarely spoke to anyone outside of her job.

Her intention had been to sign up for the fall semester at the local university. But when she realized how expensive that would be, and that it wouldn't allow her to work full time, she had to let that idea go. Also, it didn't help that she had none of her school records, or even her high school diploma to prove she had graduated. So much for getting her life back. The truth was nothing could ever be the same. She could never go back to being just Buffy. She hadn't been 'just Buffy' since she was fourteen years old. From now on, she was always going to be a Slayer. She was fully aware that evil had only been averted back in Sunnydale. It hadn't been stopped. It would be stalled for a time, but could never be gone.

She knew exactly what lurked in the shadows, in every town, and every city around the world. It was true she no longer had to carry the burden of stopping it alone, but running away from her destiny had proved fruitless. She tried to distance herself from that time to no avail. She had even attempted to cut off all contact with Willow and Xander and anyone else who had been a part of that lifetime. She couldn't do it. She couldn't forget. This had been why she finally broke down and made the call to Willow. She was desperate to connect with what she had tried to erase from her mind.

"It's official." Dawn said, as she walked in the front door. "Life sucks."

"Dawn, what are you doing? Why aren't you at school?"

"I missed the freakin' bus. First, I tripped on the curb and ripped my favorite pair of jeans." She said indicating the large hole in the knee of her pants. "Then, I dropped all my books into a mud puddle. And to top it all off, I get there just in time to watch the bus drive off without me."

"I'll drive you." Buffy said with a small sigh.

"You know, this could all be solved if you'd just let me get my drivers license." Dawn said casually.

"You're not ready. Besides we only have the one car."

"I'm seventeen, Buffy. And I could borrow the car when you didn't need it."

"We'll talk about it later. Go change your clothes; I'll be waiting in the car." Buffy said, trying to put her off.

Buffy sat out in the old Jeep she had bought with the money Giles had given her. He had written her a check, and told her to follow her dreams. He had wanted Buffy to finally be free to rest, at last. He had encouraged her in her pursuit of happiness, and somehow Buffy felt she had let him down. She wasn't happy. She was miserable. She was finally free to pursue her dreams, and now she realized that she had no dreams.

Beyond trying not to die too incredibly young, she had had no other goals. She had never allowed herself to think of the future. Believing she never would have one, she had seen no real need.

Just then, Dawn came bounding into the Jeep, jolting Buffy out of her reverie.

"If you drive fast enough, I'll only miss first period, Trigonometry. And it's not like I'm ever gonna need that anyway." Dawn said flippantly.

Buffy pulled away from the apartment building, accidentally backing into some shrubbery.

"Oops. When did they put those there?" She asked sheepishly.

"They've always been there. God, Buffy, you say _I'm_ not ready for my drivers license? I'm way better than you are."

"Mom never let me drive at your age. Except the one time when she did...But that was because she was under a spell. Evil Band Candy." Buffy remembered. Then she looked at Dawn, "Besides it was a total mistake, because I ended up wrecking the car."

"Yeah, I remember. And you still haven't gotten much better. Are you forgetting I drove myself all the way home from God knows where, when you made Xander kidnap me?" Dawn said, raising her eyebrow.

Buffy shook her head and sighed.

"Fine. I'll think about it." She relented. "I still don't know how you ever learned to drive at all. Did Xander teach you that?"

Dawn lowered her gaze and shook her head.

"Spike taught me." She said softly.

Buffy still couldn't bring herself to talk about what happened to him, or the fact that he was gone.

"I should have known." She said with a faint smile, tinged with sadness.

"He also taught me how to play poker, and also to—"

"I don't wanna talk about Spike, okay?" Buffy interrupted her.

"Buffy, you can't just pretend he never existed." Dawn reminded her.

"I'm not pretending that, it's just..."

"It still hurts?" Dawn offered sympathetically.

Buffy nodded her head silently.

"It's okay to miss him, you know?"

"Do you like it here, Dawn?" Buffy asked, completely changing the subject.

Dawn stared at her confused at the conversation twist.

"What?"

"Do you like it here? This town? Are you happy here?" Buffy asked her curiously.

"Um, it's alright. Are _you_ happy here?" Dawn asked.

Buffy shrugged, "I don't know. It's real pretty. Serene. Peaceful."

"Dull?"

"I didn't say that."

"Well, serene and peaceful are just other words for mind numbingly boring." Dawn pointed out.

Buffy couldn't argue with that. She looked at Dawn, "What do you think about Cleveland?"

"Uh, I don't think about Cleveland at all." Dawn said cautiously. "You're not thinking about going there, are you?"

"I don't know. I mean, it's not so bad there, is it?"

"It's on another Hellmouth, Buffy. Just like Sunnydale. I thought you wanted to get away from all that?" Dawn said with concern.

"I did. I do...It's just, Willow needs me." Buffy stretched the truth.

"She does? You talked to her?"

"This morning."

"And she said she needed you? What about Kennedy? Isn't she a Slayer too? Can't she handle it?"

"Yes...And no, she didn't come right out and say she _needed_ me. But she did say that something strange happened." Buffy told her.

"Something strange happened? Like what?"

"I-I don't know. She didn't tell me. She said it was nothing." Buffy said defeated. She then perked up, "It was clearly a cry for help though. Don't you think?" She asked hopefully.

"You're really reaching here, Buffy." Dawn shook her head.

"Look, I'm going crazy here Dawnie. I-I feel useless."

"You're not useless. What happened to 'We're gonna find our dreams'?"

"Well it turns out I have no dreams. Slaying is what I do. I can't just stop doing it."

"What about _my_ dreams? Don't they matter?" Dawn asked hurt.

"Of course they do. But you can't honestly say that this town is your dream."

"No, you're right. It's not. But neither is Cleveland. Especially not Cleveland. I'd like to finish school without it getting sucked into a Hellmouth this time."

Dawn had a point. Buffy was being selfish.

"You're right Dawn. Sorry. I-I guess I'm just feeling a little confused right now." She admitted as they pulled up in front of Dawn's school.

"Things will be okay here. Just give it a little more time." Dawn said as she touched Buffy's arm.

"You're right. I'm fine now. I'll see you tonight." Buffy said, forcing a smile.

"Bye." Dawn got out and slammed the door behind her.

Buffy watched as Dawn rushed up the steps and disappeared into the building.

_I have to make this work_...Buffy thought to herself. _I have to make it work for Dawn's sake..._

He watched as the figure of the lone woman descended the staircase. She was beautiful, he thought. Dark hair, and a gorgeous smile that seemed to light up the room. Before he could get a better look at her, the scenery changed. He was standing before a window in a broken down warehouse. Outside he witnessed fire dropping from the sky. He felt fear, but only for a moment.

"What's happening?" He asked, frightened.

"It doesn't matter anymore." He heard a voice behind him. He turned toward it. It was the same woman he had seen on the stairs.

"I don't understand..." He said softly.

She touched his cheek gently.

"It'll all be over soon. Nothing matters but this." She said softly as she touched his cheek.

Before he could answer her, she was kissing him. Gently at first, but it soon grew more passionate and intense.

"Poor Connor. You never had a childhood or a family or friends. You never had anything that's real..." She whispered to him.

All at once Steven jolted himself awake. He couldn't bear to hear the rest of what the woman had to say. She had called him that name, Connor, just as the man/monster had called him in his other dreams.

"I never had anything that's real..." He whispered to himself in the dark room.

He knew it was just a dream, that they were all only dreams, but they affected him. Upset him in ways he didn't understand. And they had all felt so real, as if they had somehow really happened to him.

He arose from his bed and went to look out the window. Almost as if he were just making sure there wasn't really fire raining down from the heavens, like the dream. All he saw were trees with the faintest cast of moonlight above them. Satisfied, he turned to head back to his bed.

"Connor?" He heard someone call out softly from the darkest corner of his room.

Just then a white figure emerged from the shadows. It was a woman, dressed all in white. A faint glow surrounded her. On closer inspection, he realized that it was the same woman from his dreams. He gasped and reeled away from her.

"Don't be afraid, Connor. It's ok. It's me."

"W-who are you? And why are you calling me Connor?" He asked terrified.

"You don't remember do you?"

"Remember what? Who are you? _What_ are you?" He asked horrified.

"I'm Cordelia. I—"

"Cordelia? I don't know you." He said quickly, "This isn't happening. I'm still dreaming. None of this is real." He said disbelieving.

Cordelia lowered her head and shook it slowly.

"You're right. None of _this_ is real." She said indicating the room that surrounded her.

"What?" He asked curiously. Then thought better of the ridiculousness of him talking to a ghost of a woman in his bedroom. "Just get out of here. I don't know you. I don't know who Connor is, but it's not me. Leave me alone."

"I'm just trying to help you." She said sadly.

"Help me with what?"

"Help you get your life back."

He didn't understand any of this. He didn't want to understand any of this. He was leaving for UCLA in two days. That had to be what it was. He was having a mental breakdown. The stress of the scholarship, and a new town, and a new school...It was getting to him.

"I want you to get out of my room. Out of my dreams. You're not real." He said firmly.

Just then, his bedroom door swung open. It was his mother.

"Steven? Who are you talking to?" She asked sleepily, but concerned.

He was startled by the intrusion, and quickly noticed that the woman he had been begging to leave, was no where in sight. He really must be losing his mind.

"No one..." he said softly. "I wasn't talking to anyone."

"I heard voices, Steven. Tracy isn't in here, is she? You two weren't—"

"Mom! No, Tracy isn't here. I was just talking to myself, ok?" He said quickly.

His mother glanced around the room and didn't see anything amiss. She sighed.

"Well, next time, talk to yourself softly. You're lucky you didn't wake your father. You know how grumpy he gets when he's woken up in the middle of the night." She pointed out to him.

Steven smiled and rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I know."

"Like the time you went running through the house saying someone was trying to break in, and it turned out to be a raccoon?" She said with a laugh.

"Mom, I was like nine. Give me a break." He said with a grin.

She went over and hugged him tightly. She kissed him on the forehead.

"I can't believe my baby will be leaving me in two days." She said feeling nostalgic at the memory of her young son.

"I'm not a baby. And I'm not leaving you. I'll be back on holidays and I'll call you all the time." He assured her.

"You'd better." She said wiping away a tear. "Now get some sleep, okay? It's late."

He nodded, and she closed the door gently behind her. Steven sat on the edge of his bed and let out a deep breath. He must have been sleepwalking. And sleep-talking. He couldn't have actually seen a ghost. It was impossible. And why would she call him Connor, and say she needed to help him? It made no sense, and he decided that it must have been the Mexican food he had for dinner.

"No more spicy food. Mom always said it can give you nightmares. That's all this was." He reassured himself softly. _That's all it was_...

Willow was at the supermarket picking up some food for a get together that Kennedy had planned. She had invited the other two Slayers over, and a few other people that they had met in Cleveland. It was going to be small, but nice. Willow missed socializing at the Bronze every other night. Cleveland didn't have much of a nightlife, at least not one she'd feel comfortable being a part of.

Just as she was reaching for a bag of chips, she suddenly felt a tremendous pain jolt through her skull. She cried out and clutched the bag of chips so hard, the bag burst, sending tortilla chips crunching all around her. She sunk to her knees as the images flashed in front of her eyes.

She saw people standing around in a circle, staring at something. It was a bed, and there was a woman lying on it. It flashed to someone crying softly behind a desk. Then she saw Fred and Gunn holding hands with Wesley. It looked like a ritual of some sort, but Willow couldn't make it out. Then she saw Angel standing over a body with a blank look on his face. She couldn't see who the body was, she felt the pain radiating off of Angel. Torment, guilt, anguish...Someone was dead and Angel was responsible for it.

All at once, the images were gone, and again all that remained was the throbbing in her temples. Someone was standing over her.

"Are you alright, Miss? Do you need an ambulance?" A concerned grocery clerk asked her.

Willow glanced up and noticed a small crowd had gathered around her. Looks of concern and a little fear crossed their expressions.

"I'm okay." Willow said, as she shakily stood to her feet. She saw the broken chips all around her, and realized she'd overturned her shopping cart at some point. Probably when she had fallen to her knees.

"I'm sorry about the mess..." She said still confused about what she'd seen. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I have to go."

Before the clerk could stop her, or make sure she was really alright, she had run out the door. Willow kept running until she reached her car. She fumbled in her purse for her car keys, and shakily pulled them out of her bag. Something was wrong with Angel. Something major. Whatever these visions were, they meant something. She couldn't ignore it this time.

She arrived at the apartment and quickly went inside. Kennedy was lighting some candles and trying to get the place looking nice enough to entertain guests. Her smiled faded when she saw that Willow had no groceries. Then a look of concern plagued her as she realized Willow was completely pale.

"What happened? Are you okay? Where are the snacks?" She asked.

"I-I had to leave." Willow said nervously. "Something came up."

"Something came up? Like what? You look awful. Are you sick?" Kennedy asked as she went to Willow's side.

"Kennedy, there's something I have to do. I have to leave."

"Leave? But the party..."

"I'm sorry. I know. I know you wanted this to be perfect, but I have to go. I can't explain it now." Willow said, rushing towards the bedroom.

She began taking her clothes out of the closet and putting them into a suitcase.

"Whoa! Back up. You said you had to leave, I didn't think you meant _leave_, leave. Where the hell are you going?" Kennedy said startled.

"LA. I have to see Angel." She said abruptly, as she threw her magic books on top of her clothes.

"Angel? LA? What the hell happened at the store that made you have to go to LA?"

Willow stopped packing for a moment and went over to Kennedy. She took her hands.

"I had a vision. I know it sounds crazy, but it's not the first one I've had. All I know is that Angel needs me." She tried to explain.

"_Angel_ needs you? What about me? I need you." Kennedy said with a hurt expression.

"I know you do. I'm so sorry about this. I just can't explain. I didn't just have a vision, but I could feel things. Pain, anger, torment...I felt it all. And something inside me just knows that I'm supposed to be there. And now. It can't wait." Willow said seriously.

"So what, did he lose his soul again? I mean, that's why you went rushing off to LA last time. Shouldn't he take better care of that thing?" Kennedy said flippantly.

"It's not that. He didn't lose his soul again. It's something else."

"Like what?" Kennedy demanded to know.

Willow shrugged.

"That's what I need to find out. I don't know yet."

Willow zipped up her suitcase and put it onto the floor.

"So this is it? You're just leaving? Are you coming back?" Kennedy asked, suddenly realizing that Willow was truly leaving and not being overly dramatic.

Willow went over and stroked Kennedy's cheek. She kissed her forehead softly.

"I'm not leaving you, Kennedy. I just have to leave Cleveland. But hopefully not for long."

"I can come with you. I-I mean, it's not like I'm the only Slayer here. I can go with you." Kennedy said hopefully.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I-I mean, you have things to do here. Friends..." Willow said to her. "I won't be gone long. I'll call you, okay?"

Kennedy was not happy about this. Not only were people coming over in less than an hour, but suddenly her girlfriend was just up and leaving her. All because of a stupid vision? It made no sense.

"I don't see why Angel needs saving. I mean he is a vampire. If he's feeling torment, isn't that kinda the point? I mean, you told me he was cursed with a soul and a conscience. Doesn't torment come with that? I mean, isn't that the definition of 'curse'?" Kennedy pointed out, not understanding.

"Yeah, of course...It's just that this feels different. And it feels like I _need_ to be there for some reason. I'm not saying it makes sense, but I feel it. And I can't ignore that feeling."

Kennedy lowered her eyes and looked at her feet.

"Fine. Go with your instincts. I won't stop you. But...Just come back, okay?" Kennedy added, trying to be supportive.

"I will. I promise." Willow smiled, as she kissed Kennedy goodbye. And somehow both of them felt, it was a promise she'd not be able to keep.

Angel sat as his desk in silence. He was getting very good at shutting himself behind that door and staring off into space for hours. Everyone was starting to worry about him.

Wesley edged the door open without knocking. He knew if he knocked, Angel would tell him to go away.

"Go away." Angel said brusquely.

Okay, so even if he didn't knock, he'd still get told to leave, Wes thought to himself.

"Angel, you can't just sit here forever. There are things that need to be done." Wes tried to explain.

"Well, that's what my hundreds of other employees are for. If you need something done, find someone to do it."

Wes sighed and sat down in the chair across from Angel.

"That's not what I mean, Angel. Yes, there are others who we may call on, but have you forgotten your mission? Forgotten that you are a part of this?" Wes asked.

"I haven't forgotten anything." That was the problem. Angel hadn't forgotten, even when everyone else had. And it was his doing that no one remembered.

"Is this about Cordelia?"

Angel's faced grew hard and angry.

"I don't want to talk about Cordelia."

"I realize you don't...But Angel, you made the right choice." Wes said sympathetically.

Angel stood up and began pacing the room.

"The right choice? I killed her, Wes. How was that the right choice?" He asked painfully.

"You didn't kill her, you set her free. She was already gone. We all knew that."

"Yeah, she was already gone. Because of me. Because she met me, because she helped me...All of this was set in motion because of me." Angel said regretfully. "And when it came down to it, I was the only one willing to make this decision to let her go. I did this."

Wes felt the pain coming off of Angel. It was true that Cordy had been used and manipulated by forces they still couldn't comprehend. And it was her involvement with Angel that brought all of this about. But she had joined with him of her own free will. Just as Wes had. Anything that happened after that was not anything Angel could control.

"You must stop blaming yourself for this. We all agreed it was the best choice. Cordelia was suffering. And with no way to restore her—"

"There might have been a way. Maybe we should have waited longer." Angel interrupted.

"You know there was no other way. We have all these resources at our fingertips. Lilah said if there was a way to save her, Wolfram and Hart would find it. It's been four months, and we've exhausted every possibility. You said yourself that you'd rather her be free, than in pain." Wes reminded him.

"I know. But who am I to make that choice? Who was I to make the choice about Connor?" He said angry with himself.

Wes looked at him curiously.

"Connor? Angel who is Connor? You've said this name before, but—"

Angel realized that he had slipped up, "Look, all I'm saying is I made the choice, but maybe it wasn't my place." He said trying to change the subject.

"Maybe it wasn't your place, but it's done now. And we all agreed to it. This doesn't rest solely on your shoulders. Maybe it wasn't your place, or our place to decide this, but someone had to." Wes said firmly.

"Someone had to play God right?"

"You weren't playing God. You did the right thing. We all did the right thing. Stop berating yourself for this. Life is a series of choices. And even if we don't always make the right ones, it _does_ matter that we make them with the best intentions. And that's precisely what you've done here." Wes assured him.

Angel stared at him. We might not always make the right choices, but its intent that counts. Just like when Wesley kidnapped Connor to save him from Angel. It was a very, very bad choice. It was the reason that Connor suffered the way he did. It was the reason Angel had to let him go in the end. Angel was having a hard time believing that it was the thought that counted. Sometimes choices ended up destroying lives. And no amount of good intentions could justify that.

But Wesley didn't remember this incident. He didn't remember any of it, so Angel could not say a word about it to him.

"Maybe you just need a bit more time. You're grieving. But we all are. It won't do you any good to hide out here forever." Wes said, as he stood and opened the door. He looked back at Angel one last time, but he was looking out the window now. Wesley just lowered his head and walked out the door.

"How is he doing?" Fred asked Wesley as he walked back into the hotel lobby.

"He'll be alright." Wes said unconvincingly.

"Did you convince him to come home?" She asked.

"I'm afraid I didn't make it that far. He's still too upset over Cordelia." Wes told her, but he was wondering if that was all it was.

"We're all upset. I-I mean, she's been gone for awhile, but I guess I always had hope she'd come back." Fred said dejectedly.

"We all did." Wes agreed. "But Angel will be okay. He just needs some time to adjust."

"I just wish I knew he'd be alright. I mean, he's always been the brooding type, but he's taking it a little too far this time." Fred said with concern.

"I've seen worse." Wes said, remembering darker days when Angel had fired them all to embark on his own vengeance mission.

"I've seen worse too." Willow chimed in from the doorway.

Fred and Wes turned their heads, startled to see Willow there.

"Willow? What are you doing here?" Wes asked curiously.

"Angel is in trouble, right?" She asked them.

"How did you know?" Fred asked.

"So he is then? I-I mean, please tell me I didn't fly all the way from Cleveland for nothing."

"Willow, why don't you tell us what's going on." Wes said motioning for her to sit down.

Willow relayed her tale of the visions and the overwhelming feeling of needing to be in LA. Wes spoke up first.

"So you say you've had visions? Is this a normal occurrence for you?"

"No. I-I mean, I've had some psychic type moments, but no."

"Interesting. And you said they were painful?"

"Painful? No. Excruciating is more like it. I felt like my head might explode, or implode. Either way, not fun."

"She's gotten the visions." Fred said with awe.

"Indeed. I'm just not quite sure how it happened." Wes said perplexed.

"Hello? A little explanation might be nice. You know about the visions?" Willow asked them.

Wes turned to her and gave her a curious look.

"Cordelia used to have visions. And before her, the visions belonged to Doyle, another associate of Angels. The visions were sent from the Powers That Be to guide Angel. Or so we thought. They allowed him to know of things that required his intervention. People he could save, evil he could stop." Wes explained.

"Wait, you said Cordelia _had_ these visions?"

"Yes." Wes nodded.

"Well, why doesn't she have them now? I-I mean, how did I get them?"

Wes lowered his head.

"Cordelia is dead, Willow. She died three days ago." Wes informed her.

"Oh...Wow. Cordelia is dead?" Willow tried to let that information sink in.

They had never been friends. In fact, they'd been more like sworn enemies. At least for when they were in high school. Willow had never really liked her, but she did respect the fact that she had joined with Angel to keep up the fight. The bitterness she'd felt for her had long since faded, and was now just replaced with shock at knowing she was gone.

"I'm afraid she is dead. And somehow she must have passed her powers along to you." Wes said perplexed.

"How? I-I mean, I haven't seen her since I was here last, and that was only for a moment. And it's not like we were friends. I-I'm the last person Cordelia would give something to."

"I thought that the visions had to be passed along with a kiss?" Fred chimed in.

"A kiss? I-I didn't kiss her. I mean, Cordy was so not my type." Willow said defensively.

"Yes, I know. I-I mean, not about her not being your type, just that—" Wes explained uncomfortably.

"Then how did it happen?" Willow interrupted.

"I must say I don't know." Wes shook his head. "Doyle was given the visions by the Powers That Be. When he died, he kissed Cordelia, thus transferring the visions to her."

"But Cordy couldn't handle them." Fred interjected.

"Right. She was human, whereas Doyle was part demon. The visions caused physical harm to Cordelia over the years. The headaches got worse, her brain was deteriorating. She was dying." Wes explained.

"I-Is that how she died? Am I going to die too? Cause hello, I may be powerful, but I'm still human." Willow said nervously.

"No, that isn't how she died. That's another story altogether, but Cordelia was made part demon, willingly, in order to be able to keep the visions. To be able to withstand them."

"Wow...Cordy was part demon? Okay, I so did not see that coming. Why would she do that?"

"To help Angel. She wanted to help him, and the world." Wes told her.

"Okay, this isn't making me feel better. I-I can't do that. I mean, I can't become a demon. I've seen the darkness...and I can't do that." Willow said firmly.

"I wasn't suggesting that you'd do that. I'm merely saying if Cordelia did indeed pass these visions onto you, she must have known you'd not be able to handle them anymore than she was able to. It doesn't make any sense." Wes said shaking his head.

"Well, can I just kiss them away? I-if that works, I'm all for it. Just get me some demon to kiss. Preferably a non slimy, non yucky one." Willow added.

"It doesn't work that way, I'm afraid. And besides, there is obviously another way to pass them along. You had no contact with Cordelia. You hadn't seen her in months and—"

"Wait. I-I did. I did see her." Willow said quickly. "I didn't remember till just now. I didn't think it meant anything."

"Wait a minute, you saw her? Where? When?" Fred asked curiously.

"In my dream. I had a dream. Cordelia was in it, but I-I didn't think it meant anything. We were back in high school, and we were fighting over Xander. And then she told me it wasn't Xander she wanted, it was me. She said she had something to give me. Then she kissed me." Willow said sheepishly.

There was a big reason she chose to forget that dream. The thought of being with Cordy seemed like her mind conjuring up her worst nightmare. Besides she'd had dreams of kissing Principal Snyder too, and she _knew_ those meant nothing. At least she hoped they meant nothing, she thought worriedly.

"Really? Very interesting. Did she say anything else to you in the dream?" Wes asked interestedly.

"Um, I don't remember." Willow said shaking her head. "Wait, there was one more thing. After she kissed me, she said I'd figure out what to do next. But I-I thought she meant, you know, sexually. Then I made myself wake up. Cause hello? Nightmare." Willow said nervously, wishing she'd never brought up this stupid, yet highly disturbing dream.

"That's it. Of course. She came to you in a dream. It makes sense. You'd not have any reason to know it meant more than it did." Wes said amazed by this development.

"But what does it mean? I-I just thought it was incredibly disturbing." Willow said confused.

"Cordy's spirit was trapped in the ether. She came to you to pass along her visions. She must have known you'd figure out what to do. It all makes sense." Wes said excitedly.

"It does?" Fred and Willow said in unison.

"Yes, it does. Cordelia essentially gave up her life for those visions. Everything that had been orchestrated in the past that resulted in her having these visions and ultimately losing her life, was for a purpose. It meant something to her. She wasn't about to let them die along with her."

"But why me? Why would she give them to me? Was she punishing me for hating her in high school? Cause deadly visions that fry my brain aren't exactly a gift given out of love." Willow said distressed.

That was the million dollar question. Why Willow, indeed. That part made little sense, but Wes knew there must be some reason.

"I'm not sure, but I know there must have been some reason." He told her.

"She also said I'd figure out what to do next. I don't really seem to be figuring that out."

"Perhaps she merely knew you'd figure out to come here and locate Angel?" He offered.

"Yeah, I guess that's it."

"Whatever this is, we'll find out exactly what's going on." He assured her.

He only hoped that this wasn't orchestrated by something evil, just as it had been with Cordelia. She had never been meant to carry visions, but everything had been altered in order to bring forth Jasmine. Wesley hoped that this was not anything of that sort. If it was, he'd not stand by and allow another innocent girl to suffer and die because of it. If these so-called Powers That Be cared anything about humanity, they'd not allow that to happen again.

Willow walked down the long corridor. Offices were on either side of her, but no one was in them. Not at this hour. Nobody except Angel. She came to his door and saw the name placard on the door. She knocked softly, and received no answer. Wes had assured her that Angel was in there, as he hadn't come out since Cordelia had died.

"Angel, its Willow. I know you're in there." She said confidently.

She received no response and went to knock again. But before she could, the door swung open.

Startled, she gasped, "Oh!"

"Willow? What are you doing here? Is something wrong with Buffy?" He asked worriedly.

"Buffy? No, no, that's not why I'm here. Buffy's fine." She smiled at him.

Visibly relieved, his body relaxed.

"So then why are you here?" He asked curiously.

Before she could answer him, her skull began to hum, and she could feel another vision coming on. Pain tore through her as she collapsed into Angel's arms. Flashes of a demon, breaking down a door. A woman huddled in a corner screaming. Willow could see a small child in her arms, clutched tightly against her chest. The demon ripped the child from her arms, and Willow felt the horrendous pain that the mother felt at failing to protect her child.

"Willow? What is it? What's happening to you?" Angel asked with grave concern.

Willow caught her breath as the grisly images faded from her sight. She looked up at Angel, as he held her to keep her upright.

"This is why I'm here." She said breathlessly. "The visions."

If Angel's heart had been beating, it surely would have stopped now with this bit of information.

"Visions? My god...you're getting the visions now?" He asked with alarm.

"Lucky me, huh?" She smiled sardonically.

"How did this happen?" He wanted to know.

"I don't have time to explain, Angel. Someone needs you. A woman...a demon is going to steal her son. You have to help her." Willow said, remembering the vision vividly.

Angel didn't miss a beat.

"Where? What kind of demon?" He asked quickly.

"I-I don't know what kind of demon. Big, green, scaly. Carrying a sword. They're at 208 Center Street. It's an apartment building. She's in apartment 112. You have to hurry." She said urgently.

Without another word, Angel pushed a button on his desk and a false wall lifted, revealing a stash of weapons. Angel took out an axe and a very large sword and went to the door. He looked back at Willow.

"We'll talk later." He said succinctly.

And with that, he was gone. It wasn't quite the heart to heart talk she was planning to have with Angel, but she knew this was more important. Not only did some poor mother and child need Angel's help, but Angel _needed _to help them. She could sense from her earlier visions that Angel had lost his direction. He was so consumed with his inner turmoil, that he was unable to see the bigger picture. And that was that he had a job to do. A mission to fulfill. He needed to save this family, Willow knew that. It was just what Angel needed to get back a part of himself that he'd thought he lost.

Willow had returned to the hotel, in the hopes Angel would end up there after he'd completed what he had to do. The place was very quiet, and Willow glanced at her watch and realized it was well past 3am. Which was more like 6am, Cleveland time. No wonder she was so exhausted.

She had wanted to wait in the lobby in case Angel made his way back, but the cozy little room that Fred had put her bags in, seemed to be calling to her. She made her way slowly up the stairs and to her room. She searched in her bag for a bottle of aspirin, and quickly popped two of them. She was too tired to even go into the bathroom and get water. The pills left a horrible taste in her mouth, but she ignored it as she crawled onto the bed, fully clothed and fell asleep.

The next morning Willow awoke to voices in the hallway. She lay there with her eyes half open, trying to hear what was being said beyond the door.

"I didn't think we even needed the visions anymore. Didn't Skip say that all of that was just a way to bring forth Jasmine?" Gunn asked Wesley.

"We don't know that for certain. All we have is a demon's word for it. Besides, Skip merely said it was orchestrated for Cordelia to _inherit_ them, he never said the visions themselves weren't real."

"But why give them to Willow? She doesn't have anything to do with this. The visions are gonna kill her too." Gunn pointed out.

Willow's heart dropped hearing Gunn's prediction. She didn't want to die. She still had so much left to do.

"We don't know that for certain. Perhaps her strength as a witch enables her to withstand the visions?" Wes offered.

"Hopefully. But shouldn't we do something?"

"Like what?" Wes asked.

"Well, how do we know for sure that this isn't some greater plan to bring about Jasmine again?" Gunn suggested.

"Jasmine was destroyed."

"Well, then, how do we know this isn't the work of something else? Before we know it, Willow might wake up nine months pregnant with some other kind of demon spawn."

Demon spawn? Okay someone forgot to tell Willow about that part. She got up and opened her door, startling Wes and Gunn.

"Oh, good morning Willow." Wes said putting on a smile.

"Demon spawn?" She said giving them both horrified looks. "I'm gonna have demon spawn?"

"Willow, no. That's not going to happen." Wes assured her.

"Why did no one tell me there was spawn involved in this? I mean, yeah, painful headaches. I get that. But spawn? What else aren't you telling me?" She asked worriedly.

Wes and Gunn looked at her sympathetically. They didn't even know where to start.

"What happened to Cordelia, won't happen to you. I won't let it." Angel said as he materialized at the other end of the hallway.

"Angel?" Wes was surprised to see him.

"Yo man, where you been?" Gunn asked, somewhat irritated at Angel's recent solitude.

"I had some stuff to take care of." Angel said flatly.

"Did you make in time? Last night, with the demon?" Willow asked him hopefully.

"Yeah, I did. It's taken care of. But that's not important now. What's important is this." Angel said looking at Willow sincerely.

He looked at Wes and Gunn.

"I want all of our best researchers finding out what's happening here. If these are the visions from the Powers, I wanna know. If they're coming from somewhere else, I wanna know that too." He said brusquely.

"I've already got Smithers on it." Wes informed him.

"Good. But I want more. I want all of them on it."

"Alright. I'll make some calls." Wes said as he headed out of the hallway.

"Anything you want me to do?" Gunn asked.

"Yeah. The white room. You've got a direct link to the other worlds. I need you to find out how to get these visions out of Willow." He said seriously.

"Get them _out_ of her? But what if they really are coming from the Powers?"

"I don't care. I want them out of her. Find out how."

Gunn absorbed this information, and nodded his head.

"I'm on it." With that he disappeared the same way Wesley had.

Angel looked at Willow.

"Sorry we didn't get a chance to talk last night." He told her.

"It's okay. Woman in peril. You're forgiven." She said with a small smile.

"I'm gonna fix this for you, Willow. I'm not going to let the same thing happen to you that happened to Cordelia."

"What _did_ happen to her? I-I know she's dead, but what happened exactly?" She asked apprehensively.

Angel took Willow's arm, and led her back into her room. He sat her on the bed.

"Where to start..." He mumbled to himself.

"Try the beginning." She smiled slightly.

Angel sighed and began telling her of everything that had happened. Doyle, Cordelia getting the visions, then almost dying, becoming part demon, then ascending. He also explained how Skip had said it was all an evil plot to bring forth Jasmine. He explained the Beast, and how Cordelia had been taken over completely by evil. Then the pregnancy and her subsequent coma.

"We had to let her go. She'd been lying there for months, completely unresponsive."

"I'm so sorry Angel. That must not have been easy." Willow sympathized.

"It wasn't. We had the best doctors and shamans working around the clock to try and find a way to get her back. But they said she was already gone. Her body was still alive, but her spirit had left long ago. It was trapped between this world and the next. We had to do something."

"You did the right thing then. Letting her go..." Willow said compassionately.

"She had done all of this for me. She bore the visions, suffering in silence, and eventually losing her life, all because of me. To help me with my mission." He said troubled. He looked at Willow. "I won't let it happen again. I won't stand by and watch you lose everything like she did." He promised her.

"Angel, you didn't kill her. You know that, don't you?" She asked him quietly.

"I did. I'm the one who told them to do the ritual. I'm the one who gave the go-ahead to release her spirit. It was me who made that choice."

"But you saved her. You said yourself, you set her spirit free. That's not killing. And it's not your fault that this happened to her. You couldn't have known. She didn't know either." She assured him.

"But I saw how much the visions hurt her. And I just let it keep happening. And for what? To save a few people?" He said angered with himself.

"Yeah. To save people. That's what you guys do. And that's what Cordelia wanted to do. There's a price for everything."

Angel lowered his head, and absorbed what Willow was saying. She was right. There was a price for everything. Everything had consequences; good or bad. Sometimes you couldn't think about the price of your actions, if the payoff was worth it in the end.

Willow saw that he was still deeply troubled and tried to lighten the mood a bit.

"She did what she wanted to do, Angel. No one could have stopped her. Not even you. And if I remember Cordelia correctly, she was kinda stubborn. Once she wanted to do something, it was pretty hard to change her mind." Willow smiled, trying to ease Angel's guilt.

"She was stubborn. Pig headed. Impossible." He said with a faint smile.

Willow studied his face and saw pain etched with fond memories.

"She was all of those things." Willow agreed. Then she added, "And you loved her."

Angel was a bit taken aback that Willow had known his true feelings for Cordy. Nothing had ever come of them, but that didn't mean they ever went away.

"I did."

"And she loved you."

"I don't know about that." He shook his head.

"Of course she did. Why else would she stick around so long? Cause you're not exactly the easiest person to get along with either." Willow reminded him.

Angel laughed slightly and shook his head.

"Guess I'm not, huh?"

"You're always all Mr. 'Leave me alone, I'm brooding'."

"I have valid reasons to brood." He pointed out defensively.

Willow just smiled at him. This was more like the Angel she remembered. Maybe he had just needed to get all of this out? He had other people to confide in, but somehow Willow felt Angel needed someone who wasn't so close to it all. Maybe this was why she was sent here. To get Angel back on his feet again, and to let go of guilt that he shouldn't be feeling.

"I am going to fix this Willow. I promise." He said, suddenly serious again.

"I know you will."

Willow was no longer sure of what she wanted to do. At first the idea of mind numbingly painful visions, which likely would lead to her death, seemed to pretty much end up on the side of the bad. But now, she understood why Cordelia had chosen to keep them. She saw the bigger picture. There were huge risks, but maybe it was worth it? There was a price for everything. And the question now, was she willing to pay it?

The more we find, the more we see,

The more we come to learn

The more that we explore

The more we shall return

_**~Fortune Favors The Brave-Aida**_


	2. Enemies Closer

**Disclaimer:** I own none of the characters here, I just use them to create worlds of my own. This story belongs to me, Shoshanna, and to my website Fool For Love. If you'd like to archive, please just ask.

**Author's Note:** This is the second chapter of my series _**Fortune Favors The Brave**_. This one is called, _**Friends Close, Enemies Closer**_. This is my idea of what I'd love to see as a season five Angel. I've not gotten over Buffy being over for good, so of course many BtVS crossovers are involved. J Including Spike. Spoilers up to Chosen and Home.

**Summary:** Buffy gives her new life a second chance, but will she be able to live with her decision? Meanwhile, Willow tries to adapt to her newfound role in the Angelverse. But everyone soon finds out that her role isn't exactly what they thought. Lilah is back, and it appears that everything is not as seems inside Wolfram and Hart. Also, a familiar face returns and is none too pleased to be back.

**Rating:** PG-13

**::Fortune Favors The Brave::**

**Friends Close, Enemies Closer**

Buffy walked down the deserted street, hugging her arms tightly to her chest. She soon realized that Oregon autumns were quite a bit colder than California. She was wishing she had the money to buy a thicker coat. She used to have quite the assortment of clothes before everything got destroyed. But the hardest part about starting completely over from scratch, weren't the missing clothes. They were her memories. Pictures, mementos, Joyce's belongings. All of those things were completely irreplaceable.

She didn't even have a single photograph of her mother. That was what cut through her like a knife on a night like this. She was cold and alone in a strange town where nothing was familiar. And the sad truth of it was there was no place like home. And home was gone. She couldn't ever go back. Literally. There was nothing to go back to. She looked up at the stars, knowing that at least they'd be familiar.

As she was lost in her thoughts, she saw a man and a woman struggling in an alley way. Her instincts kicked in immediately. _Woman in trouble. Vampire. Kill vampire._.. Her brain had gone on auto-pilot. Before she could think any further, she launched herself at the man, knocking him to the ground.

The woman screamed loudly, but Buffy had been conditioned to block that out. All that mattered was the kill, and then you could worry about the potential victim left behind. Buffy reached into her pocket expecting to find a stake. It was just habit. Realizing she had none, she merely reacted by punching the man across the face as hard as she could. As her fist connected with his jaw, she suddenly realized that this was not a vampire. It was just a man. A really drunk and terrified looking man.

Horrified, she leapt off of him.

"What is your problem? Are you insane?" The woman shouted at her.

Buffy looked completely confused. She had seen them struggling. She had just assumed...

"I-I'm sorry. Wasn't he hurting you?" Buffy questioned her, bewildered.

"No! Well, unless you count the last 12 years of my life that I'm never getting back."

"What?"

"He's my husband. He was drunk and I told him he couldn't drive. He was trying to take the keys back." The woman explained.

"Oh."

"I think she broke my jaw." The man said as he stumbled to upright himself.

"I'm so sorry. I-I didn't know. I saw the struggle...I just..." Buffy said feeling remorseful for hurting the man.

"What're you? A cop? If you are, I could have your badge for this!" The man said heatedly, regaining his senses. Buffy could smell the alcohol on his breath.

She didn't know what else to say. She felt terrible, and confused and more than a little embarrassed. She looked at the man and shook her head.

"No, I'm not a cop. But maybe next time you'll think better of trying to drink and drive." She said, grabbing the keys out of his hand and handing them to his wife.

Before they could respond to her, she was gone. She quickly left them there and ran down the street out of their sight. She stopped when she was far enough away that they'd not see her, and she caught her breath. What was she doing? She was turning into crazy vigilante girl. Beating up abusive, drunken husbands.

She was reeling from the fact that she could have killed that man easily. Just the way Faith had killed the deputy mayor all those years ago. Back then, she knew that it could have just as easily been her that had done it. And nothing had changed now. She had trained herself to react and not to think. It was the only way to survive as long as she had. But life was different now. This town was different. Every argument in an alley didn't have to mean demonic activity. This wasn't Sunnydale. And she wasn't the Slayer anymore. At least not actively.

She made her way back to her apartment slowly, and went inside. Dawn was watching TV and looked up when she came inside.

"Where'd you go?" She asked only half interested in hearing the answer.

"For a walk. I needed some air."

"Is something wrong?" Dawn asked, picking up on her mood.

Buffy sat down in a chair across from her and put her face in her hands.

"I can't do this Dawn." Buffy said sadly. She could feel tears in her eyes and she tried to hold them back.

"Buffy? Are you okay? What can't you do?"

"This. Any of this. I can't be Buffy. I-I can't just be a regular person. It's not working." Buffy said with tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Did something happen? Why are you saying this?" Dawn asked with concern.

"I almost killed some guy tonight." Buffy admitted disgusted with herself.

"What?"

"I saw a couple fighting. She was struggling...I just reacted. I thought he was a vampire. I was just so used to seeing that and then stopping it...I wasn't thinking."

Dawn absorbed what she was saying and touched her arm gently.

"It's okay Buffy. He's alright, isn't he? I mean, you didn't kill him?"

"No...No, I didn't. But I could have." Buffy said quietly. "I don't know how to not be the Slayer. I can't even remember what that's like."

"You haven't even given it a chance."

"Yes, I have. And it's just too hard. I-I can't do it."

"One little mistake and you already want to give up? That's pretty cowardly." Dawn said truthfully.

"It's not cowardly." She protested with a hurt look.

"It is so. You're acting like you have nothing to offer this world but killing stuff."

"I don't. That's all I have to offer. That's all I was good at. Really."

"That's a complete load of crap."

"Dawn!"

"What? It's true and you know it. You said you hated being the Slayer. You hated having that burden. That responsibility. So you get a way out. You're free Buffy. And now you're just gonna give up cause living like a regular person isn't interesting enough for you?" Dawn said irritated with the situation.

"This has nothing to do with being interesting. I'm lost, Dawn. I don't know how to do this. And I'm all alone. I have no one. You've at least made friends here. I spend my days trying to sell travel plans to people who would rather have hot pokers jammed into their eye sockets, than speak to me!" Buffy said heatedly. "Then I come home here, and I don't know what to do with myself."

"Are you done yet? Cause now you're sounding kinda pathetic." Dawn pointed out.

"You're really not helping, Dawn. When did you get so insensitive? Oh wait. Maybe that was when you threw me out of my own house a few months ago." Buffy said accusingly.

"Oh yeah. Bring that up. I had no other choice. Everyone wanted you gone. What was I supposed to do?"

"Um, I don't know, how about be on my side?"

"I am on your side. I always was."

"No. You really weren't. The only person that was on my side was Spike." Buffy told her pointedly.

"Well Spike's dead."

Buffy looked like she'd been hit with a ton of bricks. It wasn't that she didn't know he was dead, but she'd never uttered the words. She had never come right out and said "Spike's dead". Not once since it happened. She almost felt as if she never said it, it wouldn't really be true. Hearing Dawn spit the words at her so venomously cut her deep. And Dawn knew it. She instantly felt remorseful for it.

"I'm sorry Buffy." She said softly.

Buffy wiped her eyes and shook her head.

"Don't be sorry. It's true. He is...dead. And now I'm alone."

Dawn went over to her and pulled her close.

"You're not alone, Buffy. You have me. And I'm sorry I said all those things. I didn't mean it." Dawn said sincerely.

"No, you did mean it. You think I'm being selfish and whiny, don't you?" Buffy asked through her tears.

Dawn pulled away and looked at her seriously.

"A little. But you're entitled. I was the one who was out of line." Dawn admitted. "It's just, I want you to be happy Buffy. I want _us_ to be happy. You said this was what you wanted, and I just didn't want you to give up so easily."

"I know I said this was what I wanted, but sometimes the grass is greener on the other side, you know?" Buffy said wistfully. Then she groaned. "My god...I'm spouting clichés all over the place, and earlier tonight I went totally 'public service announcement' on that poor drunk guy I beat up."

Dawn laughed, "Its okay. Sometimes clichés are true. You thought this was what you wanted, but somehow it didn't quite live up to all the fantasies."

"Exactly."

"Well then you've got two choices. You can stick it out a bit longer and see if it gets better. Or you could quit your job, pull me out of school. Again. And we can go move to Cleveland to fight the good fight. It's your choice."

Buffy knew she had to think very carefully about this decision. It couldn't just be made on a whim because she was feeling weepy and homesick. Things may not seem any better in Cleveland. It wasn't Sunnydale, and it was most definitely not home. But Willow was there. And Kennedy. Not that Buffy was a big Kennedy fan. But Willow seemed to like her. Maybe Buffy could learn to like her too?

But she didn't want to uproot Dawn again. Especially not to take her to another dangerous city. It wouldn't be fair to her. Buffy knew that.

"You don't have to decide now. But the Homecoming dance is coming up in two weeks. Josh Ryan is supposedly gonna ask me. So let me know before I buy a non-returnable party dress, okay?" Dawn said attempting to lighten the mood.

Buffy thought about her Homecoming dance. The one she and Cordelia fought over about who should be Queen. They'd almost died that night but made it just in time to hear their names not be called. Buffy smiled at the memory. That was a terrible night, yet wonderful at the same time. She wanted Dawn to have memories like that. Only she didn't want Dawn having to arrive in a torn dress with mud all over her, because some hit squad had tried to kill her.

She looked at Dawn, "If Josh asks, say yes. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time."

"So tell me what you learned." Angel said abruptly as Gunn entered his office.

"I didn't learn much. Seems that everyone is pretty tight lipped up there about what happened." He said shaking his head.

"Did they know this was going to happen?"

Gunn shook his head, "No, seems like Cordy pulled a fast one on all of them. I spoke with the Gatekeeper. He's supposedly in charge of all mystical contacts between the spirit world and the living. He said Cordy slipped past him."

"Slipped past him? How is that?" Angel asked, growing concerned that with all these resources, no one was helping.

Gunn shrugged, "He didn't know. Apparently spirits have a guiding system. Like they know where they're supposed to go and when. Cordy didn't follow that. Which isn't surprising, cause lets face it, we are talking about Cordelia here." Gunn laughed slightly.

"Well where is Cordelia now?"

"He doesn't know. Look Angel, I'm telling you, they aren't giving me anything up there." Gunn explained again. "The only thing they knew was that it _was_ Cordy who did this. But the question still is, why?"

"Did they say if there was a way to get the visions out of Willow?"

"He said I'd have to talk to someone else about that. Then he disappeared. So basically, we're at square one."

"Take me up there Gunn. I need to see this guy myself."

"Alright...if you say so."

Gunn and Angel went up in the elevator together to the white room. It was a place where you could speak to anyone and anything, regardless of what dimension they were living in. It had been used as a link to the senior partners, but now it was merely a link to all other worlds.

Gunn called up the Gatekeeper once more.

"It is you again? I have told you all I can." He said annoyed with the intrusion.

"I think you're still holding back." Angel said stepping forward.

"Ah...It's the bossman. Enjoying your new position?" The Gatekeeper chuckled.

"That's right. I _am_ the boss now, and I say you're holding back. So spill it. What else do we need to know?" Angel asked impatiently.

"That's amusing. You really do think you're in charge here, don't you?"

"Will you just cut the mind games? I need answers, and I'm betting you've got them." Angel said dismissing his attempt at riling him up.

The Gatekeeper sighed, "I already told your man here, what I knew. Cordelia didn't have our permission to contact anyone, much less transfer any type of powers to them. Whatever she did, she did it without our knowledge."

"But you have knowledge of it now."

"True, I do. But beyond knowing she has made contacts with living beings, I don't know the nature of those contacts."

"Beings? Plural? She's contacted someone else?" Gunn asked curiously.

"Oops. I guess there _was_ something I forgot to tell you." The Gatekeeper laughed amused with himself.

"Who else has she contacted?" Angel wanted to know.

The Gatekeeper smiled at him, "I seem to have forgotten who that was. And apparently so has everyone else."

Angel felt his stomach drop into his knees.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Gunn asked confused by the riddles.

"Drop it, Gunn. We're done here. He can't help us get the visions out of Willow. We're wasting our time."

Angel just wanted to get out of there. He knew exactly who the Gatekeeper was alluding to, and he only hoped it wasn't true. If Cordelia had somehow contacted Connor, it could be all over. Everything he had sacrificed for him could be for nothing if she had somehow spoken with him and told him anything.

"What was that all about?" Gunn asked as they got back into the elevator.

"Nothing. He was just playing games, but I'm not in the mood to play. I'll just have to look elsewhere for help."

"Where else are you gonna look? I mean, we've got it all here, and no one is talking." Gunn pointed out.

"Exactly. No one is talking. And why is that? Unless there's something that someone doesn't want us to know. And I intend to find that out."

"How?"

"I don't know yet."

"Wow...This place is amazing." Willow said, as Fred gave her a tour of the science lab where she spent most of her days.

"It is. We're doing some really cutting edge things. Mixing medicine and mysticism." Fred explained eagerly. "Oh, look at this. This is what we've been working on the last two months." Fred pointed at a microscope and motioned for Willow to take a look.

"Is this what I think it is?" Willow asked astonished.

"It's ectoplasmic slime. We've discovered that when you mix that with the virus that causes the common cold, it completely wipes it out."

"Amazing...You're saying you've found a cure for the common cold?"

"Yeah." Fred said proudly. Then she looked at her feet, "Well it wasn't just me."

"But this is huge, Fred. My god...working here must be incredible." Willow said in awe.

"It is! Gosh, you don't know how exciting it is to have someone else who thinks this is cool." Fred said excitedly.

"Who wouldn't?" Willow said as she continued to look around her. "What's that over there?" She asked pointing to an empty room.

"Oh, that's where the surgical teams perform experimental surgeries. They've been testing new technology that replaces limbs, reverses brain damage, and restores sight to people who've gone blind. Things like that."

"And it's been successful?"

"So far. I-I think there may have been a few missteps here and there. But overall the success rate is very high." Fred explained nervously.

"That's great. I have a friend who lost an eye a few months ago. The doctors said there was nothing they could do. It's too bad you guys don't have some way to like create a whole new eyeball."

"Actually, we _can_ do that." Fred said quickly.

"You can? But how? I was just kidding when I said that." Willow said disbelieving.

"Well, I'm not exactly up to speed on the surgical techniques. I-I stay mostly on the research side of things," Fred said, leading Willow through a doorway marked 'Authorized Personnel Only', "but this is the surgical lab."

Willow saw countless shelves with various body parts floating in some kind of green solution. Fingers, hands, hearts...It would have been a gruesome sight if Willow hadn't been so intrigued.

"What is this?"

"Well, I know it all looks kinda spooky, and really gross, but this is the lab where all the transplant organs and vital tissues are kept." Fred explained.

"Eww. I-Is there someone in charge of, um, gathering these parts? I mean, this is kinda wrong, isn't it?" Willow was a little spooked by this.

"No, it's not wrong. And it's not what you're thinking. These parts weren't donated or stolen, they were created. From scratch."

"Created?"

"Yeah. We take tissue and DNA samples from a person who is say, missing an eye. Just like your friend. And from there, we're able to actually replicate the missing eye and then surgically replace it." Fred explained.

"But how? Magically?" Willow wanted to know.

"Well, it's part magic, part science." Fred looked at the jars. "Apparently they had experimented in the past with donor limbs being used, and then magically re-attaching them. But there were some problems with that method."

"What kind of problems?"

"Well, this was way before my time, but apparently some guy lost his hand in a fight, and they gave him a new one. Only it turned out to be an evil hand with a mind of its own. I was told it was a big mess. So they kinda had to rethink that idea." Fred said twirling her hair nervously. She didn't really know the whole story, and she knew she probably didn't want to know either.

Just then, the door to the surgical lab opened, startling an already on edge Willow.

"It's okay Willow. It's just Knox." Fred smiled at her co-worker. "We work together."

"Oh, hey." Willow said giving him a little wave and a smile.

Knox just smiled pleasantly at Willow, and then looked at Fred.

"Can I speak to you for a moment?" He asked her.

"Sure."

Knox pulled Fred to the side, and Willow figured it was a private work related talk, so she began looking closer at the jars on the shelves.

"What's up?" Fred asked with a smile.

"We aren't supposed to allow outsiders in the lab, Fred." He whispered to her.

"She's not an outsider. She's Willow. A-a friend of Angels." Fred explained timidly.

"It doesn't matter. She's not supposed to be in here. I let it slide when I saw you showing her around the main work station, but the private labs are for personnel only."

"But Angel—"

"I don't care. If they find out I let you bring her in there, I'm in big trouble." Knox said seriously.

Fred looked at him curiously, "Who's 'they'? Angel is in charge here and he knew about it."

Knox looked away from Fred uneasily. It was clear to Fred that he was not comfortable with this conversation.

"Just get her out of here. Please." Knox pleaded with her.

Fred gave him a suspicious look, and saw the fear that was in his eyes. He was afraid of someone or something and she knew it wasn't Angel.

"Alright." Fred relented. She looked over at Willow, "Why don't we go back upstairs. I'll show you the break room."

Willow nodded her head. She walked past Knox and gave him a small smile. She could see he was on edge about something, but she didn't know him well enough to wonder what it was.

"It was nice meeting you, Willow." Knox said trying to appear friendly.

"Same here."

Willow and Fred walked out of the private lab and turned to head to an elevator. Once they were alone inside, Willow glanced at Fred.

"That Knox guy...he seems nice." She said, making small talk.

"Yeah, he is. He seemed a little jittery today though." Fred commented, still perplexed by his insistence that they leave.

"I picked up on that. I-I hope I didn't get you into any trouble."

"It's okay. Angel knew I was taking you down here. But..."

"But what?"

"I don't know. Knox said if _they_ found out I brought you here, he'd be in big trouble. But he wouldn't say who _they_ were." Fred was disturbed.

"I thought Angel was in charge of this place now?" Willow asked.

"He is." Fred said quickly, and then added, "I think..."

"You said you'd take care of this, and now she's getting the grand tour of our secret lab facilities?" Holland Manners had been irritated by what he'd witnessed on the security cameras.

"I _am_ taking care of this. This wasn't something that we foresaw happening." Lilah reassured him.

"The next thing I know, that witch will be getting the guided tour straight to my office." He said angrily.

"That isn't going to happen. No one knows that you're back, I can assure you. As far as Angel knows, you've been dead and gone and off the radar for years."

"We finally have Angel exactly where we wanted him, and this witch is going to ruin it all. She's got the visions, Lilah. I thought we took care of that when we made it appear that Cordelia Chase was un-savable. We were rid of her for good, and with no way to transfer her visions on; we had successfully severed any and all ties Angel had with the Powers." Holland told her upset.

"I can assure you that I'm looking in to how that happened. Believe me. But there isn't any need to panic just yet. The witch is human, and we all know humans can't sustain the visions for long." Lilah explained.

"Well, she certainly can sustain them long enough to be a thorn in my side. Get rid of her and do it quickly."

"Of course. I'll take care of it."

"You'd better. If you don't, you know what that means." He said calmly.

She lowered her head and nodded, "Yes."

"Then do it, Lilah. Make this go away."

Lilah nodded her head, and exited the room. She knew better than to stick around longer than she was needed. Like her, Holland had signed a contract which bound him to Wolfram and Hart for eternity. Death didn't alter that agreement in any way. Her soul was bound to serve the Senior Partners for all of time. And for several years, Lilah had no qualms about that agreement. She had everything she could possibly want for.

But she wasn't the same person she had been ten years ago when she made that deal. For starters she had actually been alive back then. But most of all, she had been young. She was getting ready to graduate from law school, and she had no money to pay her student loans. At the same time, her mother had begun to suffer from Dementia. Lilah had only been able to work part time as a legal assistant while she had been in school. She didn't foresee a way to pay for the right kind of care her mother needed.

That's when she had met with Wolfram and Hart. A scout had approached her right before her graduation. They offered her a deal of a lifetime. A job with a very powerful, very prestigious law firm. She was to start at the bottom, but was assured that hard work, discretion and loyalty to the firm, would advance her position rapidly. They hadn't been lying. She knew what she was agreeing to, but when you were only twenty-five, broke and alone to care for a dying mother, you couldn't afford to think of the future or the consequences it'd bring. But she was certainly thinking of them now.

She had spent several years enjoying the game of cat and mouse with Angel. It gave her a rush. She had pushed every button of his and loved every minute of it. But then something had happened along the way. She had met Wesley. At first, he was a project. A way in. Another pawn in the game of Angel. She never meant to actually like the man. Or love him...

_Love...what do I know about love? Nothing._ She thought cynically to herself. It didn't matter anymore anyway. She was dead. And more than that, she was going to have to betray him again. Even in death she couldn't stop playing the game. She could never stop playing...

Willow tossed and turned, trying to ease into sleep. She was feeling tense and uneasy, as they had gotten no further in finding her a way out of the visions. Part of her was okay with that. She had only had one more vision since the first night, but she knew it was likely only a matter of time before she got another.

She had spoken to Kennedy before she had gone to bed, and it hadn't gone very well. Willow had tried to explain to her that she needed to stay in LA at least until they worked out the visions. But she also made Kennedy aware that she may decide to stay here permanently. Especially if there was no way to transfer them out of her. Kennedy had been very disappointed to hear that. Willow couldn't blame her. They had just started their new life in Cleveland, and already Willow had left.

Kennedy had suggested that even if Willow had the visions, she could just call Angel when she had one. But Willow knew that wouldn't be a workable solution. Besides the fact she still felt she had unfinished business here. It wasn't something she could put her finger on, but somehow just showing up in LA wasn't enough. She was here for a reason, and she hadn't figured it out entirely. It felt more important than just helping Angel solve cases. Something felt off about the entire situation here.

She had definitely gotten a very weird vibe from that Knox fellow at the lab. Actually everything about Wolfram and Hart had seemed very strange. She really hadn't been clear on exactly how or why Angel had acquired control of the law firm in the first place. But when she asked Angel about it, he merely said he'd made a deal and wouldn't elaborate. She had of course been in awe of the science lab, but she couldn't help but feel it had a very Initiative-like feel to it. Only this time, it seemed that it weren't demons being experimented on, it was humans.

But she liked and trusted Fred, and she seemed so excited about the place. Willow figured her strange vibes were probably nothing, but she hadn't quite convinced herself of that yet. Either way, she may have trusted Fred and Angel, but she didn't fully trust Wolfram and Hart. She had a good intuition and it was telling her something was not right.

She tried to forget all about that as she finally drifted off to sleep. She slept fitfully and began to dream.

She was walking down a long corridor, following a whisper that seemed to echo in her head. She turned and saw a door. She opened it slowly and cautiously, apprehensive about what she would find there. She moved into the room and looked around. On the wall was a picture of a man she'd never seen before. Older, in his fifties, graying hair. He was wearing a business suit and a smile. Underneath the picture there was a plaque that read "Wolfram and Hart". Willow was somehow drawn to the picture and the man depicted, but she didn't understand why. It wasn't a friendly feeling, more like having the knowledge that this man was important somehow.

"Finally!" Willow heard someone say behind her.

Startled, she whirled around to face the person. It was Cordelia.

"Oh my god..." Willow said in shock.

"You're a really hard person to get through to, you know?" Cordelia said, irritated.

"You've been trying to get through to me?"

"Well duh. Look, I don't have much time before they find me. There's something you need to know." Cordy said quickly.

"Before who finds you?"

Cordelia didn't respond to her question and only glanced over at the picture of the man on the wall. Willow noticed this.

"Who is that guy?" She asked curiously.

Cordelia shook her head, "I don't have enough time. Willow, just listen to me. I gave you the visions, and—"

"Yeah, thanks, by the way, for giving me deadly brain frying visions." Willow interjected sarcastically.

"Well, you're welcome. But they weren't meant for you." Cordy said, not acknowledging Willow's sarcasm.

"They weren't? Then why did I get them?"

"I had to get rid of them, quickly. Angel and everyone, they were doing the spell. If I didn't get rid of them before I died, they'd be gone forever. I had to do something." Cordy explained.

"Okay, but why me?"

"The right person wasn't exactly available at the time. And I knew you could do this. You're the only one who can bring him back."

"Bring who back? Who's the right person?" Willow was completely confused.

"Spike."

"Spike? Cordelia, Spike is dead. Dusted. Gone."

"Hence, the him not being available."

"Well, I-I can't just bring him back."

"Yes you can."

"How?"

Cordelia just stared at her, and then she seemed to react to a noise or something Willow didn't hear.

"I have to go. I can't stay here any longer." Cordy said sadly.

"Wait, don't go!" Willow said frantically, but Cordelia was gone.

Willow looked at wall again, but the picture that had been there, had disappeared. Willow woke with a start, and just lay in her bed breathing heavily. That wasn't a dream. That had been real. It had felt incredibly real. And this time Willow hadn't forced herself to wake up in the middle of it. Spike was the key to all of this. The visions were for him. She just didn't understand why or how on earth she'd be able to bring him back.

He had been killed by mystical energies, just as Buffy had been, but he was a vampire. Just because she had been able to resurrect Buffy, didn't mean she could bring back anyone or anything. Besides the fact that she had used and ruined the last known Urn of Osiris, which was key to the spell. Without that, she didn't know of any way to perform the ritual.

Even if she _was_ able to do it, she wasn't sure she should. Spike had died a noble death. He had saved them all. And he had a soul at the time. What if, despite the fact he was a vampire, his soul had gone to Heaven, just as Buffy's had? Would Willow be willing to risk tearing Spike out of Heaven too? The last thing they needed was a miserable Spike, brought back to life, only to bear excruciating visions. For Angel, of all people. Someone Spike didn't exactly get along with.

She just didn't know what to do with this information. It might be easier and better for everyone if she just accepted her fate, and continued to carry the visions.

Lilah was pacing back and forth in her office. The shaman sitting before her was calm and didn't even seem aware of Lilah's agitation.

"Are you saying it can't be done without killing her?" Lilah asked him.

"That is what I'm saying. I can remove the visions and destroy them, but not without killing the girl."

"Damn." Lilah muttered under her breath.

She had been trying to work out a way to get rid of the visions completely, without harming Willow. She knew that Angel was looking for a way to do the same exact thing. And Holland was insistent that they rid the girl of the visions, preferably by killing her. But Lilah knew he'd be happy just having the visions obliterated. And if Lilah could do that without harming the girl, she could actually pretend to Angel and Wesley that she had been helping them all along. It would be like killing two birds with stone, actually. She stayed in the good graces of the Senior Partners, as well as Angel and his team.

It was getting tiring playing double agent all the time. Especially when things didn't work out the way she wanted them to.

"Would you like me to kill the girl?" The shaman asked, interrupting Lilah's internal struggle.

"No. I don't."

"Perhaps you'd like me to render her incapable of articulating the visions to anyone?" He offered.

"What do you mean?"

"I could easily make her visions so painful she'd quietly slip into a coma. It would merely make it look like the visions took their negative affect much sooner."

"No, that won't work. We already had one coma vision girl, and that didn't exactly end up well. Besides, I've already used the whole 'attack her with fake debilitating visions' before. Angel's too smart. He'd figure it out." Lilah dismissed that idea.

"This could all be very easily solved if you'd just allow me to take care of her." He said calmly.

"I don't want her dead." Lilah said firmly. "Just get out of my office. We're done here."

The shaman smiled and bowed his head to her.

"Good luck, Ms. Morgan. Let me know if you change your mind."

"I won't."

He shut the door behind him and Lilah let out a frustrated sigh. This wasn't easy anymore. A few years ago, she had no issue with having someone killed. She certainly wasn't the squeamish type. One stupid girl, that she didn't even know, shouldn't matter to her. But somehow she knew that if she had Willow killed, Angel would figure it out. He would figure out that she was behind this, and tell Wesley. And not only would that upset her, the whole game might be blown in a single instant. She had to make this appear that she was trying to help Angel and the girl, while serving Holland's wishes at the same time. Only this time, she wasn't sure whose side she was really on.

Willow was sitting in Angel's old office at the Hyperion. She had a stack of magic books that she had managed to pull together from Wesley's mini-library. Angel paced in front of her, as Wes stared at her, rooted to his spot.

"Spike? Are you sure she said Spike?" Angel asked, perplexed.

"I'm positive. She said the visions were for Spike, and I was the only one who could get him back." Willow explained.

"But why Spike?" Angel was not grasping this.

"I don't know. She said she couldn't stay long. That was the other strange thing...She seemed afraid, or to be hiding from someone, but she didn't say who."

"I think I know who. Gunn and I spoke to someone called the Gatekeeper. He said that Cordy was basically a rogue spirit. He said she veered off the ordinary path and he couldn't find her."

"The Gatekeeper?" Willow asked.

"He's in charge of ushering newly deceased spirits into the Afterlife." Wes explained it to her.

"He said Cordy had made contacts with living beings, which is apparently against the rules. So it makes sense she was hiding. If he finds her, he'll send her spirit onward. And apparently she still has some unfinished business." Angel told them.

"Well, if in fact this Spike person is the key—" Wes began.

"Spike isn't a person, he's a vampire. A dead one at that." Angel interrupted.

"Well, he had a soul, just as you do." Wes reminded him.

"A soul doesn't make someone a person. Believe me, I know. And there has to be some other way. Spike can't be the key to anything. He's not worthy of getting a second chance." Angel said bitterly.

"Spike did save the world." Willow pointed out honestly.

"That's true, he did." Wes agreed. "I'd say that makes him worthy enough."

Angel realized they had a point, but it was hard for him to imagine Spike in any other way but an evil murderer. The last time Angel and Spike crossed paths, Spike was having Angel tortured for the Ring of Amara. There certainly hadn't been anything worthy or heroic about him then. Even if he did get a soul, that didn't mean he'd suddenly turned all noble. Angel certainly didn't. It'd taken him a hundred years to get into that mindset. Maybe that was what was bothering him? Spike went and got a soul and did a better job with it than Angel had.

"I know what you're thinking Angel, and he really did change. Spike was different. We all saw it." Willow reassured him. She then added softly, "Buffy saw it."

Angel knew she spoke the truth. Buffy herself had informed him that Spike was her boyfriend and she loved him. Okay, well, she didn't actually say _that_, but she said he was in her heart. Same difference. Angel wasn't a fool. He could read between the lines. He knew how much Buffy had cared for Spike when he saw the way she talked about him. Angel loved Buffy, and therefore, trusted her judgment. If she thought Spike was worthy of her heart, then maybe he really had changed?

Angel sighed, "How can we get him back? Can it even be done?" He wondered.

"I'm sure it can be. Wolfram and Hart were able to bring Darla back." Wes said.

"Yeah, but they brought Darla back human. Spike can't be human if he's going to carry the visions." Angel reminded him.

"Well, perhaps they've got other ways? I'll begin researching and asking around."

"Wait a minute." Willow said quickly.

"What is it?" Wes asked.

"Well, even if we get Spike back, which I'm not sure can be done...Then what? H-how do we get the visions out of me and into him? Do I just kiss him? It can't be that easy, or else I could just kiss Angel."

"She has a point, Wes. None of our sources seem to know a way to get the visions out of her." Angel agreed.

"Well both instances where the visions have been transferred, the host was near death..." Wes said tentatively.

"So you're suggesting we kill Willow?" Angel asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Hello? Standing right here. We aren't killing Willow. I-I mean me." She said nervously. "There has to be another way."

"I wasn't suggesting we kill you, I was merely suggesting that it may be possible to mimic death, or something of the sort." He clarified.

"Astral Projection." Willow said quickly.

"Yes, indeed. That could work." Wes nodded his head.

"Astral Projection? How exactly is that done?" Angel asked.

"Well, it's not something to take lightly. But if I can get myself into a deep enough trance, it's possible for me to actually separate my spirit from my body. This would leave my body as kind of an empty shell."

"Just like Cordy was." Angel whispered.

"Exactly. And in that state, she was able to give the visions to me. This can work." Willow said excitedly.

"But what if you can't get back into your body? This could be really risky." Angel told her.

"It is risky. The longer a person's spirit is detached, the harder it is to get back." Willow explained. "I think Cordy was just away too long and couldn't get back. But I can do this. I'll just have to move quickly."

"Well then why don't we just go for it now? Give the visions to me and we'll skip over the whole resurrecting Spike idea." Angel said to them.

"I don't know, Angel. Cordy was pretty specific in saying it was meant to be Spike." Wes told him.

"Well, what difference does it make? Spike and I are both vampires with souls. The only difference is, he's dust and I'm not. I'd say it makes me the more logical choice."

"I don't think Cordelia would tell Willow it had to be Spike, if there was a way to substitute him for you. Perhaps this was his destiny somehow? Perhaps he was never meant to die?" Wes pondered.

Angel thought about that a moment, and then shook his head.

"The amulet. I was supposed to wear the amulet. I was going to, but Buffy said she needed me to be here in case something went wrong. Maybe it was me that was supposed to die in that Hellmouth, not Spike."

"I don't know. If you were meant to die Angel, then who would the visions serve?" Wes reminded him.

"That's a point... But maybe if I was the one who was _meant_ to wear it, it wouldn't have killed me? Maybe Spike only died because it was never his to wear in the first place?"

"That very well could be it." Wes acknowledged. "And perhaps Cordy is trying to make things right somehow. That would make sense."

Angel nodded his head, and realized suddenly that in trying to make things right, Cordelia may have contacted Connor. Maybe she perceived what Angel had done as wrong, and was trying to fix it? He pushed those thoughts out of his mind and tried to concentrate on the matter at hand. It wouldn't do him any good to worry about that now. It was out of his hands.

"If this was the way it was meant to be, then I think we should at least try." Wes said.

"Yeah, I think we should try." Willow agreed.

Angel sighed and looked at them, "Fine. But if he gets back, and he's pissed? I'm blaming you two."

Lilah had heard the buzz around the office. Angel and his team were looking into resurrecting a certain vampire to carry the visions. Which must have meant at least one thing; they knew how to extract the visions out of the girl. That was a feat she had been told was impossible to accomplish. Of course she hadn't been looking to _transfer_ the visions; she merely wanted to destroy them altogether. But if she was somehow able to intercept the transfer, then maybe she could still win this thing.

But in order to get enough information to complete this task, she'd have to show herself again. She had told them all that she had only come back long enough to close this deal, then she was back to being dead again. It hadn't been entirely true. Her very existence depended on closing that deal. She had been given a second chance, and the only way for her to live again, was to bring the AI team on board.

That had been Lilah's goal for the last few years. Only now it was a much more pressing matter. She had moved slowly and very calculated. She knew something this important would take time. But she didn't have the luxury of time anymore. Every attempt she had made in the past to lure Angel onto their side had failed. When Wolfram and Hart had been attacked, Lilah knew that the game as she knew it was over. She'd have to come up with something completely new and original. And then she was killed. That had certainly thrown a wrench into her plans. But not for long. She had come up with something so genius, she had no doubts that it would work. It _had_ to work. Because if it didn't, she'd lose her second chance at life, and this time there would be no coming back.

Wes was sitting in the library at Wolfram and Hart, perusing one of the rare volumes of text. He had been specifically looking for resurrection spells that may help to bring Spike back. So far he had not seen anything that applied to the resurrection of vampires. He was deep in thought and didn't hear the door open.

"Hello Wes." Lilah said with a smile.

He looked up from his book, startled to see her. "Lilah? To what do I owe this honor?"

"Being dead is kind of boring. I thought I'd see what you were up to." She gave him an innocent look.

"Right. You just figured you'd pop in from Hell to see what I was up to?"

"Okay, so that wasn't a very good lie. I'm a little rusty, what with the being dead and all." As she played with the scarf around her neck, she looked at him, "You know once you've been decapitated, you tend to lose your quick wit and charm."

"I wouldn't know."

"No, you wouldn't. But that's okay. As you might have guessed, I'm not here to discuss the pros and cons of losing your head. Literally. I have far more pressing matters."

"Such as?"

"I hear that you're looking to resurrect a vampire to carry those pesky visions." She said as she walked around the desk and sat on top of Wesley's book. "I can help you with that."

"You can? Well, do tell. I'm listening."

"First of all, you're looking in the wrong books. You need a spell to bring back a fallen warrior, not a vampire." She crossed her legs and leaned back onto her hands, giving Wes a sneak peek at what was under her skirt. She saw his eyes dart downward and quickly back up to her face. She smiled at him. "You won't find it in there." She teased him.

Wes cleared his throat and looked deep into her eyes. He was trying very hard to keep his feelings out of this. Lilah was not part of this world anymore. It wouldn't do him any good to get attached to her. Again.

"Well, since you aren't hiding the spell in your panties, would you care to tell me where I might find it?" He asked with a smirk.

"Try looking in the Shadow Book, Volume 3, page 27." She handed him a book that had materialized behind her.

"Fallen warriors...Are you certain this will work on a vampire?" He asked curiously.

"It should. Of course, only if the vampire died as a warrior, which I do believe this one did."

Wes nodded his head as he skimmed over the spell.

"So...since we're all about the sharing of information here, I take it you've found a way to get the visions out of the girl?" She asked casually.

"We have. At least we think we have."

"Care to let me in on that little secret?" She prodded.

He looked at her and tried very hard to remember exactly who she was. She wasn't his girlfriend or his lover or whatever you'd call it, anymore. And she wasn't even his friend. She never had been. He had let his guard down with her several times, letting his heart get in the way of his mind and his better judgment. He cared for her deeply, but he still didn't trust her.

"I'd really rather not share." He said coolly.

"Oh come on, Wes. We're all on the same side here now, remember?"

"I remember."

"So why not tell me? I'm only curious. What do you think I'm going to do? I'm dead, remember?"

"No need to remind me of that." He said reminded of the night he had to finish her off. "If you must know, we believe that if we use Astral Projection, Willow will be able to mimic death long enough to pass the visions on." He finally relented.

_Astral Projection...damn, why didn't I think of that? _Lilah scolded herself.

She smiled at Wes, "That's a good idea. Think it will work?"

Wes looked at her uncertain, "We'll find out. But first we need the vampire back."

"Right. Well, good luck with that." She hopped off the desk and headed for the door.

"Lilah, wait." Wes stood and walked over towards her.

"What?"

He paused a moment and stared at her. She looked so alive, and so beautiful. So what if she was dead and he didn't trust her? Did any of that really matter? He shook his head slightly, to dispel the thoughts he was having, and then he looked at her.

"It was good to see you again." He said sincerely.

"Likewise." She smiled at him and shut the door behind her.

She stood just on the other side and leaned back against the cool wooden door. She didn't know what she was doing. Every time she thought she could do this, and go back to being the old conniving Lilah, Wes would do or say something so sincere. And then she'd feel guilty for betraying his trust. Maybe she should have just gone straight to Angel? But she had wanted to see Wes again. To talk to him, feel him...God, she wanted to feel him right now. She wanted to feel his lips on hers, his strong arms holding her close to him. As she was sitting before him on the desk, she was so hoping he'd grab her and take her right there on the table.

But of course that didn't happen. He had ended their affair long before she had died. He made it seem that she meant absolutely nothing to him. But she knew that wasn't true. He had tried to burn her contract with Wolfram and Hart. He tried to save her, at least in his eyes. It had been one of those moments when he had done something so amazing, that it made her betrayals to him that much harder to stomach.

_I still have to do this..._She thought to herself. _I just have to take care of this, and then I'm done. I'll be alive again, and then I can start over._

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Angel asked Wes skeptically.

"I see no reason why it wouldn't. Spike willingly sacrificed himself to save humanity. I'd say that constitutes a warrior."

"Wes is right. I-I think I can do this." Willow told them.

"Are you sure?" Angel asked.

Willow desperately reached for her confidence. She had performed a spell like this before, not to mention re-ensouling Angel, and activating all the Slayers of the world. She could do this. She had to believe she could do it.

"I _can_ do it. Just get me everything I need, and we'll get started. I see no reason to wait." She said confidently.

Three hours later, the entire gang had assembled in the lobby of the Hyperion. Willow had insisted it be done away from the Wolfram and Hart offices. She had a feeling in her gut that something was amiss there. She didn't share that feeling with anyone, but merely stated she felt more comfortable at the hotel. They didn't question it.

Fred was busy preparing the circle to cast the spell. She had been excited to help Willow again, just like the last time she had been there. Fred knew a fair amount about magic since she'd starting working with Angel, but she was eager to learn more. Willow seemed so confident and to know so much. It intrigued her. And Fred had a tendency to idolize people who she perceived as cooler than her.

Willow caught Fred staring at her and smiling. Fred looked away nervously, and Willow had to wonder if Fred still had a crush on her. Willow had inquired about Fred to Wesley again. This time he had told her that Fred and Gunn had dated for quite some time. That probably meant Fred was not gay, although dating a guy for a long while hadn't meant that in Willow's case. Still, Willow decided it was best to ignore it. Fred could have just been really excited about magic. And even if Fred _did_ have a crush, Willow was already involved with Kennedy.

Kennedy...damn, she had forgotten to call her again. Willow had just been so consumed with everything that was going on, she'd completely spaced out on Kennedy. She then realized she hadn't even so much as given Kennedy a passing thought the last four days. That didn't bode very well, Willow thought to herself.

But even now, she couldn't take the time to think about her. She had a job to do. She had a very important and difficult spell to perform. She couldn't take time out worrying about Kennedy, or wondering if Fred had a crush on her. The whole thing would have to wait.

"Are you ready?" Wes asked Willow.

"I think so. We have everything set up. All the ingredients are here, candles are lit...I'd say I'm as ready as I'll ever be." She took a deep breath and let it out, trying to calm her nerves.

"Then let's do this thing." Angel said not entirely certain that this was a good idea.

The last person he wanted to see again was Spike. But he tried to put away his petty jealousies and the bad blood between them. This was for a good reason. If Angel had been the one who was meant to wear the amulet and not Spike, he supposed he owed it to him to give Spike a second chance. But Angel was having a difficult time grasping a need to owe Spike anything. But he'd have to let that thought go, at least for now.

Everyone gathered in a circle, and held hands tightly. Willow took a deep breath and began to call on the gods.

"God of thunder and of war, hear my pleas. Release this warrior unto us." She chanted powerfully.

"God of lightning and of death, release him." Fred chanted.

"Release his spirit and his soul and deliver him so he may fight again." Wes said his part.

"Deliver him." Angel added.

"Release him." Gunn spoke.

"Return him to the earth so that he may right the wrongs." Willow shouted to the heavens.

The ground beneath them started quaking, and rumbling. A lamp tipped over and shattered. Willow ignored it completely, and kept chanting.

"God of valiance I beseech thee! Return, restore, release!" Willow commanded.

The candles began to flicker, and a red light engulfed Willow. She cried out in pain as the energy swirled around her. Fred began to get nervous, and wondered if they should stop. But Willow was prepared for this. She knew it would not be easy. The red energy dissipated and a bright white light shone from Willow's eyes. It filled the circle with a thick fog. It swirled around, creating a whirlwind inside the lobby. The candles blew out completely, plunging the room into darkness.

All at once the wind stopped howling, and fog began to dissipate. Willow wasn't able to see anything in the darkness, so she fumbled around behind her for a candle. She relit it, and it cast a faint glow in the room.

"Everyone okay?" She asked, glancing at their solemn faces.

"Did it work?" Fred asked anxiously.

Willow directed the candlelight to the center of the circle. It was empty. She closed her eyes and shook her head. She had felt like it worked. She didn't understand what went wrong.

"Maybe we should try again?" Wes offered quietly.

"It's too dangerous. We're not putting Willow at anymore risk. We'll just have to switch to plan B." Angel said seriously.

"Plan B?" Gunn asked.

"Yeah, Willow will just give the visions to me. I don't care if it's not my destiny. We'll make it my destiny. We don't have any other choice."

Fred got up from the circle to find a light switch. One lamp had been broken, but there was another in the far corner of the room. She made her way over slowly trying to rely on the faint glow of Willow's candle, and her familiarity of the room.

"I can try the spell again. I just need a day to recharge. It took a lot out of me." Willow said, refusing to give up hope.

"Exactly. It took a lot out of you, and I don't see any reason to do it again." Angel insisted.

Just then they heard a loud thud coming from Fred's direction.

"Are you okay, Fred?" Angel asked concerned.

"Um, guys? I-I think you should see this." Fred called out to them.

Everyone stood and Willow guided them over to Fred with the light of her candle. They saw Fred sitting on the floor next to something. Willow held the candle down lower and saw that it wasn't a _something_, it was a _someone._ It was Spike and he was naked and unconscious.

"Oh my god!" Willow exclaimed surprised but elated. She had felt like a failure, but now she saw that her spell did in fact work. Albeit he didn't end up in the circle as she intended, but there was no reason to be nit-picky.

"That's Spike?" Gunn asked disbelieving.

"That's Spike." Angel said flatly.

Gunn shrugged, "Hmm. I guess I thought he'd be bigger or something."

"He is rather frail looking." Wes agreed.

"But he has a really nice body. I mean, really nice." Fred muttered just a little too enthusiastically. She then appeared flustered, "I said that out loud didn't I?"

Willow registered Fred's interest in Spike's naked body, and figured that answered her question about which way Fred swung. Willow was surprised to feel deflated and disappointed knowing Fred was just nice, and wasn't actually after her romantically. The thought disappeared when Angel broke the silence.

"Can we please stop critiquing Spike's physique? Just because he's small, and sexy," He looked deliberately at Fred, who blushed and looked away. "That doesn't mean he isn't dangerous." Angel assured them.

Everyone nodded their heads but continued to just stand there staring at the unconscious vampire lying at their feet. Suddenly it dawned on Willow that Spike was still naked, and she grabbed a blanket off a chair and covered him with it. Then she walked over and switched on the lamp that Fred had been after. Everyone took a moment for their eyes to adjust to the harsh light.

"So, uh, what next? Is he okay? I mean, he's just laying there." Gunn said, gently poking Spike with his boot.

"He looks dead." Fred agreed.

"He is dead. He's a vampire." Angel reminded her.

"I-I know. But he looks _dead_, dead. I guess it's just because he's not breathing." She said awkwardly.

"How are we gonna wake him up?" Gunn asked.

"We could try slapping him really hard." Angel offered with a small smirk. He saw everyone look at him, and he shrugged innocently, "What? That's what they do in the movies."

"Right, and you'd get no pleasure out of that at all." Willow said rolling her eyes.

Angel just grinned at her and said nothing.

"We could throw cold water on him. That might work." Fred offered hopefully.

All at once Spike began coughing and sputtering. Everyone took a step back. Spike groaned and curled up into the fetal position.

"Is he okay?" Fred whispered.

"Should we tie him up? What if he's pissed off and tries to kill us all?" Gunn wondered, as he reached over and picked up a stake that had been lying on the table.

"Good point." Wes agreed taking another step back from Spike.

Angel just sighed and walked over closer to where Spike was lying. He bent over and shook him hard.

"Spike? Wake up." He said simply.

All it took was hearing Angel's voice, and Spike sprang up, panting for air he didn't even need. He looked around at everyone with confusion. His vision was blurred and he wasn't able to make out any faces, or his surroundings.

"Where the hell am I?" He asked momentarily frightened.

Angel stepped in front of him and smiled, "Welcome back Spike." _Oh, he was going to enjoy this..._Angel thought to himself.

"Welcome back?" Spike tried to clear his mind and figure out how he had gotten to this strange place. And why was Angel here? He'd recognize that hulking mass and grating voice anywhere. Surely this must be hell, he thought.

"Spike, are you okay?" Willow asked cautiously.

He turned his head quickly as he recognized Willow's voice.

"Willow?"

"It's me." Willow smiled, trying to be comforting. She bent over and touched his shoulder. Spike shrugged her off and quickly stood to his feet. "Don't touch me. This isn't real. This can't be real."

When he'd stood up, the blanket fell away from him and he stood naked before them. Fred tried to look away, and the men turned their backs, refusing to look at him.

"Aww, man, I _really_ didn't need to see that." Gunn said making a face.

Spike realized suddenly that something seemed off. He glanced down at his naked form and quickly looked up again.

"Okay, help me out here since my eyesight is a little blurry at the moment...but I'm naked, aren't I?"

"As a newborn." Gunn said, with his back still turned.

"Bloody hell." Spike groaned as he fumbled at his feet for the blanket.

Willow saw him struggling to see it, and she quickly reached down and handed it to him. Spike snatched it out of her hands and wrapped it around his waist.

"Why am I here? And where exactly is here?" Spike asked agitatedly.

"You're in LA. And you're here to help me." Angel informed him.

"Bollocks! I'm not helping _you_ do anything." Spike said bitterly. He then looked at Willow, "Did you do this? I was dead wasn't I? Can't you just leave well enough alone, Red?"

"Spike I _had_ to do this, you don't understand." Willow tried to explain.

"You're bloody well right I don't understand. Now put me back where I came from." He demanded.

"Is he always this big of a pain in the ass?" Gunn asked Angel.

"Always. I tried to warn you guys...but no one ever listens to me." Angel sighed.

"No one ever listens to you Angel, because you're a big hulking mass of moron and hair gel." Spike said snidely.

"Oh, like you don't use hair gel." Angel shot back childishly. "At least I don't own stock in Miss Clairol. Looks like you could use a touchup, Spike. Your roots are showing." Angel smirked.

"Oh my god...can we stop with the playground banter? You guys are hundreds of years old, not twelve." Willow grumbled.

"You have no room to complain. This is your fault. You should have just let me be." Spike pointed his finger at her, effectively shutting her up for the time being.

"I tried to tell them that, but I was outnumbered." Angel kept true to his word about not taking the blame for this.

Spike looked at him curiously, "And I suppose you didn't want me back because you cared so much about my feelings, eh?" Spike asked sarcastically.

"Hell no. I just didn't wanna see you again."

Spike just closed his eyes and shook his head. He didn't remember much about what had happened to him, or where he'd been, but he knew it was a better place than this. Any place was better than this.

"If you aren't going to send me back, would someone at least like to explain to me why I'm here?" He said rubbing his eyes.

"It's kind of a long story." Willow said quietly.

"Well, apparently I've got time."

Spike was confused and tired and pissed off. He had died for good this time, or so he'd thought. Now he was back again and didn't know why. He was surrounded by enemies and strangers and nothing seemed to make sense. Suddenly Spike grasped exactly what Buffy had felt when she had come back. It was a lonely, empty, horrid, feeling.

_Oh god...Buffy..._He thought to himself. _Where was she? Did she survive?_ He looked up at them.

"Where's Buffy?"

"She's not here." Angel said quickly.

"Is she alright? Did she survive?" Spike needed to know.

"Buffy's fine." Angel didn't want to elaborate. He was still entirely uncomfortable knowing that Spike and Buffy had something together.

Spike was relieved to hear she was okay, but he wanted to see for himself.

"Where is she? I wanna see her."

"You can't see her. She's not here." Angel said firmly.

"Well where is she?"

"She's gone. I-I mean not _gone_, gone. But she's resting. She's trying to have a normal life, Spike. She's safe and she's happy." Willow reassured him.

Spike smiled a little with the knowledge that Buffy was alive and happy. She'd always wanted to be a normal girl, and now she had gotten her wish. He wasn't sure how Buffy could ever live like that, pretending that she didn't know about the darkness all around her. But he knew this was what she strived for and she achieved it. She had been so tired at the end that she had nearly given up all hope. She needed this, and Spike was pleased with the knowledge she had gotten what she wished for.

"Does she know that you were bringing me back?" He asked.

Willow shook her head, "No."

"Good. Don't tell her. I want her to be happy." Spike said with a somber smile.

Angel looked at Spike and couldn't help but see his expression of love for Buffy. And to not want to rush off and find her, meant a great deal. Spike was putting Buffy's happiness above his. He could have told them all to piss off and he could go running to find her and pick up wherever it was they left off. But he had thought better of it. He knew she was happy, and he didn't want to upset that. Maybe Spike really had changed? Angel wasn't sure, but the Spike he knew never would have done something like that. This Spike was going to take a lot of getting used to.


	3. Reunions

**Disclaimer:** I own none of these characters. They belong to Joss. The story however, is mine. If you want to archive it, just let me know.

**Author's Note: **This is the 3rd installment of my series _**Fortune Favors The Brave.**_ It's titled _**Reunions.**_ Spoilers for Chosen and Home.

**Summary: **Spike adjusts to his new life, as Buffy finally gives up on her own. She gives in and makes a journey to see some familiar faces. Lilah is up to no good as usual, but is Wes onto her? Meanwhile, Buffy and Dawn meet a stranger who is bound to inadvertently stir up trouble for everyone.

**Rating:** PG-13

**::Fortune Favors the Brave::**

**Reunions**

Spike sat back in his chair and tried to absorb the information he was being given. His mind was elsewhere though. He kept thinking about Buffy. The last thing he remembered was how she had told him that she loved him. He had said he didn't believe it, but that wasn't really true. He did believe, but there was no point in saying that to her. He had existed the last two years desperate to hear Buffy say that to him. But by the time she finally admitted it, it had just been too late. He had known he was dying. Buffy needed to live and get on with her life. He didn't want her chained to his memory. He wanted her to live and be happy. And now he knew she had done just that. It made him smile inside, but there was a small part of him that was aching with the knowledge he'd likely never see her again.

"So...are you okay with all of this?" Willow asked Spike cautiously.

Spike was jolted from his thoughts and looked at Willow blankly.

"What?"

"I asked if you're okay with this. I-I know it's a lot for you to take in right now."

"A lot to take in?"

"Were you even listening, Spike?" Angel asked irritated with the other vampire.

Spike sighed, "No. I really wasn't listening."

Angel got angry and impatient. He stood and faced Spike, "Look, this is important business. We didn't risk everything just to bring you back so you can ignore us. We need to know if you're in this, or not."

"Does it make any difference what I want? You bloody people saw it fit to rip me out of the afterlife to suit your needs. You didn't ask my opinion then, so what does it matter now?" Spike said bitterly.

Willow understood why Spike was so upset. This was what she had been afraid of. He had been at peace. His soul had moved on and once again Willow was responsible for destroying that peace for someone.

"Spike, I know you're angry...But this _is_ important. Will you bear the visions, or not?" Willow asked sympathetically.

Spike looked at her, "What happens if I say no?"

"You're saying no?" Angel asked disbelieving.

"I didn't say that. I asked what happens _if_ I say no."

"Willow dies." Angel said flatly.

Spike looked at Willow curiously, "Is that true?"

"Maybe." Willow admitted softly. "A human can't sustain the visions very long without causing neurological damage."

"But a demon can." Angel added.

"So why didn't you take the honors, Angel? If it's safe for a demon, why can't it be you?"

"I wanted it to be me. Believe me, Spike. Bringing you back was not my first choice. In fact I was against it the entire time. But Cordy said it had to be you."

"Cordy? That's the dead girl?"

Hearing Spike so calmly call Cordelia 'the dead girl' cut Angel inside. But he refused to let that show.

"Yes, that's her." He said evenly, as he held himself back from strangling Spike. Not that strangling him would actually do anything, other than feel real comforting to Angel.

Spike looked away from him, and focused his eyes on Willow. She stood there expectantly waiting for his response. He was in no mood to be agreeable or to make this easy on them. Willow had apparently learned nothing about the consequences of raising the dead. If she had, he wouldn't be sitting here right now. Maybe she deserved to suffer a bit with the visions? Spike wondered. He quickly dispelled that dark thought. Willow was Buffy's best friend. At least she used to be. Refusing to help her and allowing her to suffer brain damage and/or die was not an option. Buffy may have been gone from his life, but he still couldn't bring himself to hurt someone she loved. Besides he supposed that it would be the right thing to do. If it helped people, and helped Willow, he couldn't justify refusing it just to spite Angel.

"Fine. I'll take on the bloody visions." Spike finally relented.

"You will?" Angel and Willow both asked in unison.

"You both seem surprised. Did you really think I was going to say no?"

"Well I definitely wouldn't put it past you." Angel told him.

"Yeah? Well, you don't know me very well." Spike said dismissively.

"No, I know you _too_ well. That's why I figured you'd say no."

Spike stood and faced Angel, "You don't know anything about me."

"Right, because you've changed? Is that it? I'll believe it when I see it."

"I _have_ changed. And I don't much care whether you believe it or not." Spike said coolly. "And just to set the record straight, I'm doing this for Willow, not you, Angel. I don't give a damn about helping you do anything."

"Some things never change." Angel said snidely.

"You know it's taking every ounce of my shiny new soul to keep me from jamming this wooden chair leg right through your un-beating heart." Spike said through clenched teeth.

"I'd really like to see you try that." Angel said rising to the bait.

Willow stepped in front of them and held her arms out to separate them.

"Stop it! Both of you! Nobody's jamming anything through anyone's heart." She said firmly.

"Are they always this way?" Wes asked, as he entered the room with a cup of blood for Spike. He set it down on the table.

"Pretty much. They kinda have issues." Willow rolled her eyes.

"Well, I'd suggest you two work those issues out. If you're to be working together in any capacity, random death threats aren't really an option." Wes told them both.

Spike and Angel both backed down, and away from each other. Neither of them was happy to do so, but they knew Wes had a point. They had to get over it if they were going to make this little arrangement work. Spike eyed the cup containing the pig's blood. Wes noticed and motioned for Spike to help himself.

"I figured you'd be hungry." Wes said courteously.

"At least someone here is thinking of my happiness." Spike said with a smirk as he quickly downed his refreshment.

"I was more thinking of your strength actually. You'll need to be strong if you're going to take on the visions." Wes looked at Angel and Willow, "He did agree to it, didn't he?"

"Yeah, I agreed to it. Why is everyone so surprised?" Spike asked.

"Well you seemed a little pissed at first." Willow said pointedly.

"I am pissed. But this is the right thing to do." Spike shrugged as he sat back down in the chair, and put his feet on the desk.

Angel stared at him with wonderment. This was definitely not the Spike he remembered. Sure, Spike was still a difficult prick, but him wanting to do the right thing just for the sake of being right? That was not Spike. It should have warmed him to Angel a bit, but instead it seemed to make him hate Spike just a little bit more.

Steven sat in the library attempting to study. He had a big test coming up, but his mind was unfocused. He had hoped once he settled in at the university, the dreams would have stopped. But they'd continued. In fact, he began having other disturbing dreams about living in Hell, or what Steven supposed would pass for Hell. There was always someone with him; an older man, and this time he called him by his actual name. He would call him Steven, and Steven would call him father. It made little sense.

But he would find himself alone in this hellish place; scared and tired and hungry. He would sense that this man he called father was testing him somehow, by leaving him there. Creatures would rise from the earth and chase after him. By this time Steven would wake up in a cold sweat, his heart racing. It had all felt real and not imagined. Thinking about the dreams began to take control of his life. He would spend entire nights awake, studying. Or at least pretending to study. Anything to avoid having to go to sleep. Luckily his grades remained steady, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep running on empty.

He missed his home. He missed his mother. He even missed his sister, whom he could barely stand on a good day. And he missed Tracy, his girlfriend. Only she wasn't his girlfriend anymore, Steven reminded himself. She had broken up with him the day before he left for UCLA. She claimed she needed to find herself, and told him that she had joined the Peace Corps. She was leaving for Africa in two weeks and didn't want Steven to wait hopelessly for her. She wanted him to move on and find his own happiness in Los Angeles. And he was trying to, but it was hard.

"Pulling an all-nighter again, man?"

Steven looked up to see his friend Matt standing in front of the table.

"Yeah, I have to get an A on that English Lit exam tomorrow."

"You really should relax a bit. College isn't supposed to be this much work. It's supposed to be fun. Parties, drinking, hot chicks, etcetera." Matt reminded him with a devious grin.

"Maybe after I pass this test." Steven smiled slightly at him.

"Suit yourself." Matt patted him on the back and walked off.

Steven watched him go and wondered if Matt had been right? Maybe he should loosen up a bit? Maybe he'd feel better if he allowed himself to have some mindless fun, instead of obsessing over nightmares that didn't make any sense. He had to stop obsessing or he would go crazy.

It had been two weeks since Spike had been back, and they still hadn't attempted to transfer the visions. Angel was running out of patience.

"Look Spike, do you feel ready yet? Because time is wasting. Willow just had another really bad vision last night. I don't know how much more of this she can take." Angel explained to him.

"And are we sure that I'm going fare much better? Watching her have one of those visions looks worse than when they had they chip shoved up my brain." Spike told him.

"Well, then you should be pretty used to the pain. Willow's not. You said you were going to do this, so let's do this already."

"I'm not ready." Willow said, as she stood in the doorway watching them argue.

"What?" Angel asked.

"I said I'm not ready. The kind of meditation necessary for this to work, takes total concentration. I-I don't think I can do that right now." Willow said massaging her temples. They were still throbbing from her latest vision ten hours ago. It seemed to be getting worse already and it had only been a few weeks.

"Willow, if we don't do this soon—"

"I know. But I can't. Not yet. As long as I don't have another one soon, I may be able to do it tomorrow."

"They're pretty painful, I take it?" Spike asked curiously.

Willow nodded her head, "Yup. Really bad."

"Well, lucky me. Nothing like excruciating skull pain. Just like old times." He said sarcastically.

"Are you sure you still want to do this?" Willow asked.

"No. But it's really not up to me, is it? I'm told it's my destiny, or some such nonsense. It's what I'm here for, isn't it?"

Later that day Willow sat up in her room trying to relax. Her head was feeling much better, and she was attempting to concentrate and breathe deeply. She wanted to be as prepared for tomorrow as she could be. She heard the soft knock on her door and she swung her feet over the edge of the bed, and walked over to answer it. It was Fred.

"I brought you some tea. Oh and some cookies. And potato chips. And also a sandwich. I-I didn't know what you'd like, so I brought everything." She said awkwardly, as she set down the tray of food.

"Thanks Fred. It all looks good. I'm starved." Willow smiled at her.

Fred smiled back, then turned abruptly and headed for the door. Willow frowned.

"Where are you going? Don't you want to eat something too?" Willow asked her.

"Me? Oh, but I only brought enough for you."

"There's enough food here for three people. We can share. Plus, I could use the company." Willow told her as she took the tray of food and sat it on the bed. Willow then sat down crossed legged and began to munch on the cookies. "Dig in." She instructed Fred.

Fred smiled and sat down on the bed across from her. She took half a sandwich and started eating it slowly. Willow couldn't help but notice how completely adorable Fred was. So thoughtful and nice and pretty...Wow, where did that come from? Willow wondered. It's just an observation, Willow justified it to herself.

Fred noticed Willow staring at her and she got self conscious.

"Do I have food all over my face?" She asked, wiping her mouth nervously.

"What? Oh, no. Sorry. Was I staring?" Willow asked sheepishly.

"A little."

Willow looked away from her embarrassedly.

"So um, Spike...He's kinda...cool. Isn't he?" Fred asked Willow tentatively, changing the subject.

"Spike? Uh, I guess so." Willow said caught off guard at Fred's admiration of Spike.

"I-I know he's a vampire and all...but, he's nice."

"Nice? Are you sure you're talking about Spike? He's been kind of a pain since he's been here." Willow pointed out.

"Well yeah. I mean, he was just resurrected. That's bound to make anyone a little cranky." Fred defended Spike's behavior.

Willow couldn't seem to control the fact that she felt jealous. Of Spike! Willow had been the 'cool' one, until Spike showed up. Willow realized how completely ridiculous it all was to feel this way. She and Fred were only friends. Willow already had a girlfriend. Sort of. She and Kennedy hadn't spoken in well over a week. Willow wasn't really sure where they stood at this point. She supposed that once the visions were transferred to Spike, she could leave and go back home. But she wasn't sure if she wanted to anymore.

"Didn't you say that he dated your friend Buffy?" Fred inquired.

"What?" Willow was forced out of her thoughts. "Oh, yeah. Buffy dated him. If you use the term dating loosely."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Buffy said it was really more about the sex than the dating. I-I don't even think they ever went on an actual date." Willow explained.

"Wow...He must be good." Fred said in awe.

"You're not interested in him, are you?" Willow asked in incredulously.

"What? No! I-I'm not! I'm just...curious." Fred attempted to hide her embarrassment.

"Good. Cause let me just say, Spike? There's no good there. Plus, he's still in love with Buffy." Willow pointed out.

"Buffy...Yeah, she must be pretty special." Fred sighed. "I mean first Angel, then Spike? It seems like she's hard to get over. Well, at least if you're a vampire anyway."

"Yeah, Buffy is special." Willow agreed softly, suddenly wondering if Buffy should know what was going on here. Spike had asked her not to say, but Willow wasn't sure if she agreed. Buffy would want to know Spike was back, wouldn't she?

Lilah stood in front of the heavy wooden door to the Wolfram and Hart library. She knew Wes was in there, and she also knew that they had successfully resurrected the vampire they were looking for. What she didn't know for sure was when and where the transfer of visions would take place. Or if she was already too late for that. In that case, she supposed she had no qualms killing a vampire. It was a lot easier on her troubled conscience to stake a vampire than to have an innocent girl killed. She just needed to find out exactly where she stood. Her usual contacts inside Wolfram and Hart had come up with nothing. It seemed that the AI team had suddenly grown tight lipped about the vision issue. Lilah hoped that didn't indicate they were on to them.

Just as she was preparing to enter the library, the door opened revealing a startled Wes.

"Lilah?"

"Hello Wes." She smiled trying to appear calm and collected as always.

"Back again?"

"It would appear so."

"Interesting. I thought you said that once you struck this deal you were gone again. For good. And now you've been back twice in a matter of weeks?" He said suspiciously.

"You're not happy to see me? You seemed happy the last time." She said softly, running her hand down his arm. She was trying to use her charm and feminine wiles to distract him.

It didn't work. He removed her hand from his arm and looked at her seriously.

"Why are you here, Lilah? Is there something else you need to tell me?"

"Can we talk privately?" She asked, indicating going back into the empty library.

He nodded his head and they disappeared back into the room, with the heavy door slamming shut behind them. Wes stood across from her with his arms tightly crossed against his chest. He realized it was as if he was protecting something; his heart perhaps? He refused to let his mind wander there, and he looked at her guardedly.

"So spill it. Why are you here?" He asked her.

She had to think fast on her feet and come up with a reason.

"Well, I helped you before with that spell. I wondered if it was successful." She told him.

"You came back just to find that out? What difference could it possibly make to you?"

_More difference than you could ever know..._She said to herself. But to him, "It doesn't really. I just wanted to know if I was helpful." She lied.

He nodded his head, "Yes. Yes you were. Thank you." He said cordially, still keeping himself at a distance from her; physically and emotionally.

"Were you able to transfer the visions?"

"Not yet. It seems that our vampire needed some time to recuperate. As well as Willow. It seems the visions are taking quite a toll on her already." He explained.

"That's too bad." Lilah said as sincerely as she could. "I don't see why Angel needs the silly visions anyway." She baited him, seeing what his reaction would be.

"You're probably right. He was coping fine without them when Cordelia wasn't here. But be that as it may, apparently the Powers That Be don't feel the same."

It appeared that Wes may just agree with her. He didn't see a need for the visions either. This could work in her favor.

"Well then maybe we could still find a way to get rid of them entirely? Then you'd never have to worry about it again."

Wes looked at her curiously. She seemed entirely too interested in this topic. And mighty eager for information.

"What's going on, Lilah?" He asked her point blank.

"I don't know what—"

"Cut the crap. You never could lie to me, so don't try now. I can see right through you, you realize. I'm not stupid."

She was completely caught off guard. He was right. She never could lie to him. He'd pretend that he believed her lies only to turn around and use them against her later. Time and time again. She should have realized it was far too risky to show her face again. But she still attempted to spin things in her favor.

"You seem awfully paranoid. I told you before; we're all on the same side here. And yes, I am interested in what's happening here. But only because I wanted to help."

"Since when do you care about helping people?" He asked pointedly.

"I care about helping you."

"Perhaps, but that still doesn't explain why you're here now. You don't appear to have any help to offer me. You're merely asking a lot of nosy questions."

She looked at him and realized there was no point in lying anymore. She had painted herself into a corner and time was running out. At this point, she may gain more by simply telling Wes the truth.

"Fine. You're right. I'm not Mother Theresa. I don't help people for the sake of helping. And the only reason I'm here right now, pumping you for information isn't because I care about the girl. I care about me." She told him simply.

"I suspected as much. But how exactly are _you_ affected by any of this? That's what I don't understand."

She sighed and sat down in a chair across from him. He remained standing, refusing to let his guard down around her.

"Did you care about me, Wesley?" She asked him curiously.

"What has that got to do with anything?" He avoided the question.

"Just answer me. You tried to burn my contract. You tried to set me free. Was that because you cared about me?" She asked insistently.

He looked at her and wasn't sure what to say. He had cared for her. Deeply. Much more than was safe for either one of them. But he'd pushed her out of his memory and tried to forget. But each time she appeared, the feelings came back.

"Yes. I did care for you." He finally admitted.

She felt her heart grow a bit heavy. He cared for her. He admitted it. And yet what she was about to tell him may change everything.

"Wesley...If I don't destroy the visions for good, I'm dead." She said to him plainly.

"What? You're already dead."

"I know. But I mean really dead. For good. No more popping by for a visit because I'll be burning in hell for all eternity."

He sat down in the chair across from her. He was speechless.

"I had to make the deal. I needed to get Angel on our side. And in doing that, I had to sever the link between Angel and the Powers. If I hadn't, he might not have been as willing." She continued to explain.

"Are you trying to say that you had something to do with Cordelia's coma?" He asked shocked.

"No. I had nothing to do with that." She told him. It wasn't a complete lie. She hadn't put Cordy in a coma, but she _had_ been responsible for allowing them to think she was unable to be saved.

"Then who did?"

"Jasmine. All of that was Jasmine. Her birth put Cordelia in that coma. We knew nothing about that until it happened. I swear to you." She told him the truth.

"But you benefited from Cordelia being unable to carry the visions. Is that what you're saying?" He asked.

"Look Wes, Wolfram and Hart were at a loss. We're supposed to know everything evil that happens, or will happen. But we didn't know anything about that apocalypse. That Beast took everyone off guard. He destroyed it all. The game completely changed at that point."

"You're not answering my question, Lilah. How did you benefit from what happened to Cordelia?" He asked with growing irritation.

"I benefited because it was my job to bring Angel to our side. I tried in the past to destroy the visions. I almost succeeded but of course Angel figured it out and came after me. But then, miracle of all miracles, Cordelia just vanished. Gone. It was as if my prayers were answered." She explained to him.

"Prayers? You pray?" He asked incredulously.

"No, of course not. It's just a figure of speech." She said with a shrug. "But once she was gone, and Angel was back, I realized what I had gained. Someone else took care of the visions for me and I could concentrate on other matters."

He looked at her strangely. It was funny how one minute he could be looking at her and seeing nothing but a beautiful, charming woman. Then in an instant he'd be taken back to reality. She was evil. Her soul had been corrupted long ago. And everything she did was to further her own agenda. But why did he still care for her?

"I'd suppose that when Cordelia came back unexpectedly that threw a wrench into your works?"

"You could say that. But I didn't exactly have a lot of time to figure out plan B. Wolfram and Hart was destroyed, I was running for my life, then I died. End of story." She said simply.

"Well, I'd hardly call that the end of the story. You're here now, and you're still up to something. Plan B, I take it?"

"This is more like Plan C. The visions were good as gone, what with vision girl all vegetable like. And then Angel and I made a deal. Simple as that. After all those years of trying to outwit him, and manipulate him, all it took was striking a simple deal, and voila! Angel is now an employee of Wolfram and Hart. It was almost too easy." She said with a gleam in her eye. "But now we've got a new vision girl in town, and that wasn't in the plan." She added.

Wes was trying to absorb all of this. Lilah was essentially saying that Angel had joined the dark side willingly. But Wes had been under the impression that Wolfram and Hart had given up. He had truly believed them to be defunct. But now he realized how stupid he had been. How stupid they all had been.

"Wolfram and Hart didn't relinquish control of this office, did they? That was a lie?" His voice was calm and even, belying the racing of his heart in terror at what he was learning.

"Of course it was a lie, Wes. Since when does evil ever just give up?" She said pointedly. "We tried for years to get Angel to join us. It didn't work. So I changed my tactic. My thinking was if Angel were to believe that we'd given up and allowed him access to our knowledge, he'd get comfortable. He'd stop digging and questioning. It wasn't Wolfram and Hart that gave up, it was Angel."

Wes's emotions were running wild. He'd gone from wanting to kiss Lilah, to wanting to strangle her. Even in death everything she did was duplicitous. It made him ill inside.

"How did you do it? How did you get Angel to make that deal?"

"I can't tell you that, Wes."

He stood up and grabbed her shoulders, lifting her out of her chair.

"Ow! You're hurting me!" She cried unhappily.

"I don't much care." He said emotionless. "Tell me what you did to get him to agree to this." He stated firmly.

"I told you, I can't tell you that. But all I can say is that I offered him something he wanted, and he took it. Now he belongs to us."

He pushed her away from him, and she stumbled backwards tipping the chair over. She rubbed her arms where his nails had dug into her flesh.

"Undo it. Whatever you did to him, I want you to undo it." He commanded her.

"I can't. The deal is done. Angel knew what he was getting into." She said defensively.

"I seriously doubt that. You lied to him, just the way you lie to everyone else."

"I may have lied about my intentions and the intent of Wolfram and Hart. But Angel knew what he was doing when he accepted the deal. He knew that his soul now belonged to us, and he still agreed to it." She explained.

"Undo it."

"I can't! Aren't you getting it yet, Wes? You saw what happens when you try and burn a contract. There isn't anything I can do. It's done." She told him desperately.

Wes knew deep down she was right. Striking a deal with the devil was definitely not something that could be undone easily. If at all. How could Angel have let this happen? If what she said was true, that he knew what he signed on for, how the hell could he have done that? What would be so important to him, he'd risk losing his soul for?

"Angel's deal is irrevocable. But the deal I made with the Senior Partners states that I must sever the ties with the Powers. And now I haven't done that. That's why I'm here. I have to fulfill my contract. You wanted the truth, and now you have it."

"So your plan was to what? Destroy the visions by killing the girl?"

"No. Although that was the easiest option. I can wait though. If you get the visions into the vampire, then I won't have to kill _her_. I can just take care of him." She said easily and without remorse.

"You're actually standing here telling me all this? You think I'd allow you to kill anyone?"

"It's just a vampire."

"I don't care. I'm not letting you do that." He said seriously.

"Why not? You said yourself that the visions weren't that important."

"I may have said that before, but I'm starting to think I was wrong."

"Why?"

"Obviously the Powers That Be find the visions important. And judging by your complete and utter disregard for anything but finding a way to destroy them, I'd say you find them quite important as well." He pointed out.

"True. But Angel can still pretend to be the Dark Crusader of Justice. He doesn't need the visions to do that. So in essence nothing would really change." She said, trying to convince him.

"I'm still not letting you kill the vampire or anyone."

"Wes, if I don't do this, I'm dead. They'll send me back to Hell forever. I can't do that." She said desperately.

"You made this bed, Lilah. Now you have to lie in it."

"You said you cared about me."

"I lied." He said flatly.

"But—"

"Apparently you're not the only one that lying comes easy to." He told her simply. "If you try and harm the girl or the vampire, I'll kill you again myself."

"It won't change anything. Even if I do back off and get sent straight back to Hell, it's not going to change anything for Angel. Visions or no visions, he still belongs to Wolfram and Hart." She added in a last ditch effort to save herself.

"We'll see about that."

"There isn't anything you can do to help him. But you _can_ help me. If I accomplish this task, I'll be made human again."

Wes attempted to block out everything she was saying. He hadn't lied when he said he cared, but now he was wishing he'd never admitted such a thing. She was turning his emotions into weapons to be used against him. He refused to stand for that. He turned around and walked towards the door, desperate to be away from her.

"We could be together again." She said hoping to prey further on his emotions.

He stopped at the doorway, but didn't look back at her.

"I'd sooner die than be with you again." He said cruelly, as he pushed the door open and slammed it behind him.

"Please don't make me have to do that." She whispered softly to the empty room.

The last thing she wanted was to hurt him, but he was leaving her with no other options. Self preservation was a primal emotion. She'd do anything necessary to save herself. Even if it meant hurting someone she loved. She just hoped it wouldn't come to that.

Spike paced back and forth in Willow's bedroom. There were candles lit around the bed, casting a fiery glow around the room.

"Can you please stop pacing, Spike? I'm trying to concentrate here." Willow said irritated with him.

"Can we hurry this up, Red? Patience isn't a virtue that I possess."

"I can't do this if you're not relaxed, Spike. You have to lie down." She told him.

"I can't. I'm not tired."

Willow groaned and flopped backwards onto the bed in frustration.

"I can't do this. My mind is racing. I-I can't get my head clear enough to make this work. And you're not helping."

"This is the third time we've tried this. I thought you were a powerful witch?" Spike asked annoyed.

"I am. But this doesn't have anything to do with that. This isn't magic, its concentration and meditation. I have to be able to relax, but I can't seem to do that lately. And your pacing is annoying me!"

"Um, I have a suggestion." Fred said as she poked her head through the doorway.

"What is it?" Willow asked.

"Well, I know you've been having trouble relaxing enough to do this, so I brought some help." She said holding up two small vials of liquid.

"What's that?" Willow asked curiously.

"It's a new drug that I've been testing. It's a sleeping aid. Kind of like Valium, only it's more mystical in origin." Fred explained.

"I'm not drinking some experimental hocus pocus potion." Spike scoffed.

"It's safe. I-I've tested it myself." Fred told them nervously. "It will knock you out quickly, but it only lasts for about an hour. And when you wake up, you feel as if you've slept for eight hours. I-I thought it would be useful for people who don't have a lot of time to sleep, but need to feel rested."

"I'll try it." Willow said quickly. She just wanted to get this over with.

"I'm not drinking it. How do I know you're not trying to poison me?" Spike asked.

"Oh please Spike. We brought you back from the beyond. Why would we do that just to poison you when you get here?" Willow asked rolling her eyes.

Spike sighed, "Point taken. Fine, give it to me." He grabbed the vial out of Fred's hands and quickly downed the contents. Willow did the same.

"It takes about five minutes to work. But I'd lie down if I were you." Fred told them, indicating the bed.

Willow and Spike both went back to the bed. It felt awkward for both of them to sharing space on a mattress, but they attempted to work through it.

"You have to be closer to me." Willow said softly to him.

"What?"

"In order for me to do this, I need to be grounded. I have to have a link to you or else I could get lost out there." She explained to him.

He scooted closer to her and she reached over and took his hand. She clasped it tightly. He looked down at their hands and started to say something to her. But he never finished. His world was plunged into blackness.

He stood at the edge of a cliff, staring down at the ocean below him. He had no idea where he was. He could see the full moon above him, casting shadows all around. He felt uneasy. Something didn't feel right about where he was.

"Red? You here?" He called out into the darkness. "Willow?" No answer.

He turned around to walk away from the edge of the cliff, but he was stopped dead in his tracks. A large three headed beast blocked his path.

"Bloody hell." He muttered to himself. Then he screamed, "Willow! Where the hell are you?"

Spike was knocked off his feet by one of the large tentacles protruding from the monster. He tasted blood in his mouth; his own blood. He scrambled to his feet, only to be knocked over again. This time tumbling closer to the edge of the cliff. His mind was racing. What the hell was happening here? Where was he? Where was Willow?

He pushed himself up and stood facing the monster again. He was able to duck this time and avoid being tossed over the edge of the cliff.

_If only I had a weapon_...Spike thought to himself. And suddenly a sword appeared in his hand. Spike smiled.

"Right, this is a dream. I'm in control here." He said understanding it now.

He lunged forward and struck a blow at the monster, slicing its belly wide open. It screamed, and suddenly disappeared. Spike was confused at its sudden disappearance. But before he could think further, Willow appeared from behind a rock.

"What was that Spike?" She asked him.

"What took you so long?" He asked, ignoring her question.

"It wasn't safe, I had to wait." She explained.

"Right then. Well, lets get this done. What do I have to do?" He asked her.

"Nothing. I-I think I just have to transfer the visions now."

"And how do we do that?"

She didn't answer him, and merely stepped forward to embrace him. Her lips collided with his and his first instinct was to pull her closer to him. Then his mind registered that this was Willow. Buffy's friend. The friend who didn't much care for men. Why was she kissing him?

A light glowed from between them, but neither of them paid any attention. The power of the kiss had drawn both of them in, allowing them to forget the real world, if only for a moment. And then it was over. Breathlessly they parted, and stared at each other.

"Wow." Willow said, realizing why Buffy had been so drawn to him. He was a good kisser.

"Well, that was interesting. Why did you do that?" He asked her confused.

"The visions. That's the only way to transfer them." She explained, still trying to catch her breath.

"Did it work, then?"

Before she could answer, someone grabbed her from behind. Spike reacted quickly, only to be lifted and tossed away from her. Spike heard Willow struggling and screaming, but he was helpless. Something was holding him down, pinned against the earth beneath him.

"Spike!" Willow shrieked.

He struggled against the force that was holding him, and finally managed to free himself. He saw that Willow was being held by two masked men, dressed as Ninja's. He charged at them, only to be thrown back by an unseen force. As he lay on the ground looking up at the moon, the last thing he saw was a stake being poised above him. And everything went black.

"What's happening to them? This doesn't look right." Angel said with concern as he and Fred watched over the sleeping couple.

Willow and Spike were writhing on the bed, their faces twisted in agony.

"I-I have no idea." Fred said worriedly. "The potion I gave them, it was safe. I swear."

"This isn't the potion. Something's happening." Angel said frantically.

Just then, Wes walked into the room. He knew exactly what was going on.

"Wake them up! You must wake them up now." He said urgently.

Angel walked over to the bed and began shaking them.

"Wake up! Come on you guys, wake up!"

It wasn't working. The sleeping potion was too powerful. Willow clenched Spike's hand even harder.

"Damn it! What the hell is going on?" Angel shouted at Wes.

He didn't think Lilah was going to do this. He had warned her, but somehow she must have found out what was going on here tonight. She must have been trying to intercept the vision transfer. This little incident reeked of her handiwork. It was clever of her, he had to admit. But Wes had told no one that he had spoken to her. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

"I'm not certain, but I know they must be woken now." He told them gravely.

"Wake up now!" Angel said shaking them again more forcefully.

All at once, Willow screamed and bolted upright in the bed. Spike gasped and did the same. It took them a moment to gather their senses, only to see everyone staring at them.

"What happened?" Angel asked them, relieved they were awake.

"I-I don't know." Willow said, her body shaking violently.

Fred rushed over and grabbed a blanket from the chair in the corner. She wrapped it around her shoulders.

"It was a set up. You bloody people set me up." Spike said angrily.

"We didn't do anything of the sort." Angel informed him.

"Yeah? Well someone tried to kill me. That sure as hell wasn't part of the deal." Spike snapped at him.

"Angel didn't do this, Spike. This was something else. Something evil. So evil I can't even describe it." Willow whispered in awe of what she had felt.

Wes stood there silently. He knew what had happened, but what good would it do to tell them? Angel had signed his soul away, and this was a consequence of that action. Wes was confused, bitter and angry. Angel had inadvertently set this in motion and Lilah had only been trying to save herself. He laid blame on them both.

"Did you manage to transfer the visions?" Wes asked them.

"Yeah. I-I think so." Willow stammered, still visibly shaken.

"Good. That's all that really matters." Wes said calmly. He turned around and exited the room without another word.

Buffy parked her Jeep in front of the high rise building. Dawn was asleep in the passenger side seat, and Buffy wondered nervously if she should wake her. They'd been driving all night, and Buffy had watched the sun rise over Los Angeles as she pulled into town. It had been cold when they left Oregon, but Los Angeles was still warm, even at this time of year. Buffy smiled to herself about that fact, as she peeled off her heavy sweater.

She sat staring at the building in front of her. She wasn't sure she should have come at all. She didn't even know if he'd want to see her.

_Don't be stupid, Buffy. Of course he wants to see you. He still loves you_...She thought to herself.

Just then, Dawn began to stir next to her. She opened her eyes and tried to shield them from the sunlight.

"Are we there?" She asked sleepily.

"Yup. We're here." Buffy sighed.

Dawn sat up straighter and tossed the blanket she had covering her, to the floor. She looked up at the large building in front of her.

"This is where he works?"

"Yeah. His secretary said he'd been in the office early. It's 7:30am." Buffy said looking at the clock on the dash panel of her car.

"Do you think we should have called him first and told him we were coming?" Dawn asked, as she tried to straighten up her messy sleep hair.

"Probably...But what if we called and he told us not to come? I-I mean, it's been awhile." Buffy said nervously.

"I'm sure he wants to see us, Buffy." Dawn reassured her.

"I hope you're right." Buffy muttered uncertainly.

"Well, we can't sit here in the car all day. Are we going in or not?"

"Yes. We're going in. I didn't drive sixteen hours to turn around and go back home. I-I have to see him." Buffy said determinedly.

They got out of the Jeep and went into the building. They looked at the directory in the lobby and found his name. They got into the elevator and headed for the 30th floor. Buffy looked at her reflection in the steel doors of the elevator and realized that her hair looked hideous. She attempted to straighten it as best she could before the doors opened. She wanted to at least look presentable.

They got out of the elevator and walked slowly towards the office they were looking for. Once they had found it, they stopped. Buffy took a deep breath and looked at Dawn.

"Now or never." She muttered as she knocked on the door.

"Yes?" She heard the muffled voice call out from behind the door.

Buffy pushed the door opened and smiled, "Surprise!"

"Buffy? Oh my god..."

"Hey Dad." Buffy said nervously.

"Buffy? Dawn? My god, it's good to see you!" Hank said in shock as he stood up and went to his daughters. He pulled them both into a tight hug.

"We missed you Daddy." Dawn said as he held her close.

"I-I never thought I'd see you two again. They said...I thought...my god." Hank said wiping a tear from his eye.

"What is it?"

"I thought you two were dead." He said sadly.

"Dead? Why on earth would you think we were dead?" Buffy asked confused.

"The earthquake. It was on the news for a month. They said Sunnydale was completely destroyed by an earthquake. I-I saw the pictures...Nothing was left but a giant crater." He shook his head.

The earthquake. Of course. The news tried to explain it all away as a devastating earthquake. And Buffy hadn't heard from or spoken to Hank in a very long time. He had been nearly impossible to reach for years. It was no wonder he'd assume the worst about them. Hank had no idea about Buffy being a Slayer or what a Slayer even was. He didn't know what a Hellmouth was. He didn't know she had actually died and come back. He didn't know any of it, and she couldn't very well tell him anything resembling the truth.

"We weren't in Sunnydale when the earthquake happened, Dad." Buffy went along with the lie.

"Thank God for that." Hank said with a smile. "Where have you been then? Did you move away from there when Joyce..." Hank didn't finish that sentence. It sounded too harsh to him for some reason.

"No, we didn't leave after Mom died. We were just away on a trip when it happened." Buffy said softly.

"And now? Where are you living? Los Angeles?"

"Oregon." Dawn told him.

"Oregon? What's in Oregon?"

"Absolutely nothing. That's kinda why we're here." Buffy said sheepishly.

"You've come to live with me?" Hank asked surprised.

"No. God no. It's just...well, it was lonely up there. We felt a little homesick. And..." Buffy explained.

"And...You're broke, right?" Hank finished her thoughts with a small grin.

"Completely." Buffy admitted.

Her telemarketing job was not paying the bills. And all of the money Giles had given her had run out. Not to mention that Buffy remained miserable in Oregon. She and Dawn had come to a compromise. They wouldn't move to Cleveland and the Hellmouth. But they could move somewhere else. They agreed on Los Angeles. Buffy had spent awhile tracking her father down, even though she knew it probably wasn't cool to just drop in on Hank after so many years and ask for money. But he was their father. And he had barely lifted a finger to help Buffy and Dawn since Joyce had died. He sent them each checks at Christmas, and he had $1000 directly deposited into Joyce's bank account each month for child support for Dawn. But judging from the décor of his office, and the ritzy location in the heart of Los Angeles, Buffy knew he could afford a lot more than that. On top of the fact that once Sunnydale had perished, the bank had too. Along with all the records. So the support money had stopped completely at that point.

Buffy wasn't sure if she could blame him for that or not. He thought they were dead, and even if he hadn't believed that, he certainly had no idea where they had gone.

"Buffy, sweetheart, if you needed money, you should have just called." Hank told her sweetly.

"Well, it's not just about money, Dad. We wanted to see you. It's been years." Buffy reminded him.

"I know. I'm so sorry that I've not been able to keep in better contact. I was out of the country for awhile. I only recently got back to LA about seven months ago."

"Well, that doesn't matter now. You're here, and we're here now." Dawn said with a hopeful smile.

Hank didn't know how to respond. He felt like a complete failure as a father. He had not been there for his daughters when their mother died. He had missed Buffy's high school graduation. He'd miss Dawn growing up into a beautiful young woman. He had missed everything. He had been so obsessed with work and making money that he had lost track of everything else in his life. But there was still time to make up for that. His beautiful daughters were standing right in front of him, very much alive. And very much starved for his attention.

"Right. We're all here now. Why don't I have my driver take you home? You two look like you need some rest." Hank told them, noting their bedraggled appearance.

"Driver? You have a _driver_?" Buffy asked in disbelief.

"I know, I know. It's really pretentious of me." Hank chuckled.

"I was thinking more along the lines of outrageous. You have a driver and I had to work at Doublemeat Palace last year?" Buffy said resentfully. She thought she was ready to face him like nothing had happened, but it was clear that she was still harboring a lot of bitterness.

"Doublemeat what?"

"Palace. I worked flipping burgers just to keep a roof over our head, and all this time you've had a nice corner office with leather chairs and a driver?"

"I'm sorry Buffy. What do want me to say? I was a terrible father. But if you had called me and told me the trouble you were having, I would have taken care of it." He told her.

"I did call you. Several times. You were always 'unavailable', or off in Tahiti or something. Finally, I just gave up." Buffy said angrily.

Hank looked at Dawn, who was staring down at her shoes. It was clear she was uncomfortable with the situation just as he was. He walked over towards her and laid his hand gently on her back.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you two before, but I'll make it up to you. I promise." Hank reassured them both. "But you have to give me a chance. I can't take back what I did, but I can make it right again. Will you let me?"

Buffy wanted to scream at him and tell him no. He had abandoned her and Dawn and assumed they were dead. He never bothered to try and find out for sure. He had just accepted it and moved on with his cushy lifestyle. Buffy glanced at Dawn and saw that she was just grateful to have her father back. Buffy had tried to be a parent, but she knew Dawn needed more than what she could ever give her. She'd have to swallow her pride and her resentment. After all, this had been her idea to come here in the first place.

"Do you still love us Daddy?" Dawn asked quietly.

He nodded his head and pulled Dawn close to him, "Of course I do, Baby. I never stopped."

Buffy just stood there with her arms folded across her chest. She wasn't going to cry, she promised herself. But she couldn't help it. Tears just began to fall. It was a culmination of things. She was angry and sad and lonely and...

"I'm just so tired, Dad. I can't do this alone anymore." Buffy cried softly as Hank pulled her into his arms.

"Shh, it's going to be alright. I'll make sure of it." He promised them both. And he was going to do his damndest to keep that promise. He wasn't going to let them down again.

"You failed, Lilah." Holland told her gravely.

"I know. I'm sorry, but—"

"Sorry won't cut it this time. You failed to intercept the vision transfer. And you failed to kill the vampire. You've accomplished nothing." He said, deeply disappointed.

"Accomplished nothing? Excuse me, but who is the one who got Angel on board? Who is the one who handed you that contract written in his blood? That was me. Don't tell me I've accomplished nothing." Lilah said angrily. "This was just a setback. Temporary at best. The vampire can be killed at any time."

"Then why are you wasting time talking to me?" Holland asked, unfazed by her outburst.

She just looked at him with loathing. She hated that he had any power over her. She despised the fact that she had to betray Wesley in order to save herself. And she was angry in the knowledge that her entire existence depended on fulfilling this obligation to the Senior Partners.

"You're right. I _am_ wasting my time talking to you." She said, as she turned on her heel and headed for the door.

"Don't fail again. Time is running out for you." He warned her.

She didn't look back at him, but she took his words to heart. Time _was_ running out. He hadn't needed to remind her of that. She took a deep breath and slammed the door shut behind her.

Spike was sitting behind Angel's desk playing with the electric pencil sharpener. The sound was grating on Angel's nerves.

"Must you do that?" He asked exasperated with him.

"You know, is it really such a good idea to use a pencil this sharp? I mean, trip a little bit, and poof! It's all over for you. Could be dangerous." Spike said not paying any mind to Angel's annoyance.

"I don't know Spike. Why don't we test that theory? You can take your sharp little pencil, and I'll trip you. We'll see what happens." Angel said with a smirk.

"Funny." Spike said flatly, as he stood and aimed the pencil at Angel like it was dart. "Think I can hit the bulls-eye?"

"Try and it'll be the last thing you ever do."

Spike sighed and sat on the edge of the desk. He tossed the pencil down and it bounced off and landed on the floor.

"You never did have a sense of humor." Spike told him, as he fished in his pocket for a cigarette. He pulled one out and lit it, inhaling the smoke deep into his lungs. Exhaling, he looked at Angel, "In fact I'm so bored that making death threats against you isn't even lifting my mood."

"You can't smoke in here."

"Why not? It's not like you're gonna catch cancer." Spike shrugged, taking another deep drag.

"We're supposed to be here researching. All you've done is sharpen pencils and be a pain in my ass." Angel said irritated.

"I'm not a research kinda bloke. Isn't that what the ex-Watcher is for?"

"Don't you want to find out who tried to kill you?" Angel asked him.

"Of course I do, but we're not gonna accomplish that with some dusty books and a really sharp pencil."

"Then what would you suggest?" Angel wanted to know.

"You gotta take this to the streets. That's the only way. Whatever it was, I'm betting someone out there knows. And there's always a snitch in every bunch. Shouldn't be too hard to find out who was behind it." Spike said crushing his cigarette out on his boot and tossing it into the trash can.

Before Angel could respond, Spike clutched his head in agony.

"Bloody hell!" He cried as the pain tore through his skull.

"You're having a vision?" Angel asked, rushing to his side.

"What's it look like?" Spike said through clenched teeth.

"What do you see?" Angel prodded him.

"Nothing. It's dark." Spike told him. Then he made a pained face. "There's a boy there. A teenager. He's...he's being attacked by something. A vampire."

"Where?"

"In an alley. Outside a nightclub. Downtown somewhere. The Zone. It's called the Zone." Spike said as the vision subsided.

"I've been there. It's not far."

Spike rubbed his temples and looked at Angel. "The boy is going to die."

"Not if I get there first." Angel said pulling his coat on.

Spike jumped off the desk and followed him. Angel looked over his shoulder, "Where do you think you're going?"

"With you. Where else?"

"No, that's not how this works. You get the visions, you tell me, and then I take care of it."

"Like hell. That may have been the way it worked with Cordelia, but I'm not a helpless little woman. I'm not going to just sit here." Spike told him seriously.

"Fine. Whatever. I don't have time to argue with you now." Angel said, leaving the room quickly.

They got into Angel's convertible and sped away. Spike couldn't help but laugh at the situation. Angel glared at him.

"What's so funny?"

"This."

"What?"

"Nothing, its just, now I know why your hair is always sticking up." Spike chuckled as the wind whipped through his own hair. "Maybe I should have worn a hat?"

"Can you just shut up Spike?"

"I'm just trying to make conversation."

"Well don't." Angel said firmly.

Spike sighed and attempted to keep quiet. But he began to laugh again.

"What is it this time?" Angel was getting fed up.

"You and I. There was a day when I mocked you with every fiber of my being. And now here I am riding shotgun in the sodding Angelmobile." Spike shook his head.

"You can get out if you want. I'll slow down and you can jump." Angel said keeping his eyes focused on the road. "Besides, I don't remember asking you to come along. That was your choice."

Angel rounded a corner at breakneck speed, and the tires squealed loudly.

Spike shouted above the noise, "I know. That's the worst part. I actually _want_ to be here. Helping...It's laughable, isn't it?"

"I agree." Angel nodded his head. Then he looked at him seriously. "But that's what having a soul does to you. Now you understand that."

Spike just nodded his head and looked away from him. This conversation was beginning to border on camaraderie and friendship. Spike wasn't having any of that. He may have been forced to work with Angel, but no one was forcing them to be friends. And Spike wanted to keep it that way.

The pulled up in front of the Zone nightclub. Teenagers and young adults were crowding outside, waiting to get in. Angel parked his car across the street and eyed the alleyway behind the club. He nodded towards it and looked at Spike.

"That it?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's it. That's what I saw." Spike told him.

They crossed the street and set off into the alley.

"You know, Willow wasn't kidding when she said those visions were painful." Spike whispered.

"Shh!"

"Sorry. I was just saying..."

"Well don't. We've got work to do."

Just then they heard something rustling behind a dumpster. They heard muffled cries for help and they both raced over. It was a large vampire, struggling with a young man. His back was turned to them, and they couldn't distinguish the victim's face.

"Oh god! Let me go!" The boy cried terrified.

Angel stopped dead in his tracks when he heard the voice, as Spike rushed the vampire. He jumped on his back and whirled him around, revealing the boys face. Angel stood face to face with Connor. Spike struggled to take the vampire down, as Angel remained frozen in place.

"A little help might be nice!" Spike shouted as the vampire punched him across the face.

Angel couldn't move. He wanted to. Spike needed help. But he couldn't move. Connor stared at him as if he recognized him too, then he quickly looked away. Spike managed to dust the vampire and brushed himself off. He looked at the boy and noticed Angel staring at him.

"You know him?" He whispered curiously.

Angel shook his head. Connor looked at Spike with confusion and fear.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Vampire. But it's okay. He's dust. I took care of it." Spike said proudly. Then he glanced at Angel, "No thanks to you, I might add. Some hero you are." He muttered.

Connor stood there looking at Angel, trying to understand what he was seeing. This was the man from his dreams. He'd know that face anywhere. And he was just looking at him. He wouldn't stop looking.

"Who are you?" Connor directed that question at Angel.

"He's A—"

"I'm no one." Angel said quickly, turning on his heel, grabbing Spike by the arm. Without looking back at Connor he said to him, "Get back inside the club. It's not safe out here."

And with that Spike and Angel rushed back across the street and into the convertible. Spike looked at Angel and shook his head.

"What the bleeding hell was that all about?" He asked.

"It's nothing."

"It sure looked like something. You froze, mate! You just stood there. And who the hell was that boy?" Spike demanded to know.

"It's none of your business Spike! Drop it." Angel said angrily.

Spike was about to argue with him, but something about Angel's demeanor made him think better of it. But one thing was for sure, that boy wasn't no one. Angel looked like he'd seen a ghost tonight. If Spike hadn't of gone with him, Angel and the boy both might have died. He had been completely ineffectual at taking that vampire down. He had simply stood there, letting Spike do all the work. There must have been a good reason for that. Angel would never have let Spike have all the glory of saving the day if he was in his right mind.

Spike glanced at him, and then he closed his eyes. He was teetering on that edge again. The edge of caring and friendship. It upset him. Why should he care why Angel froze? Or who the boy might have been? It made no difference to him. He decided to just ignore it all and spend the rest of the drive in silence.

Steven was shaken to the core as he made his way back into the nightclub. He'd gone outside to get some fresh air. He didn't even see that...vampire? The blonde haired man had said it was a vampire. But vampires weren't real. They were a work of fiction that people like Bram Stoker and Anne Rice made their living writing about. They were make believe. But then how else could he explain what had happened? He'd watched as the blonde man drove a sharp wooden stake into the creature's chest, exploding him into ash. He definitely hadn't imagined that.

And then the other man, with the dark hair. Steven knew he was the same person he'd been dreaming about all summer. But who was he? Just then, Steven felt someone slap him across the back, and he jumped.

"Geez, chill out man. You're here to relax, remember?" Matt said giving him a strange look.

"Sorry. I-I was just...Never mind." Steven decided it was best he not try and explain what had happened. "I think I'm gonna go back to the dorm."

"What? Are you nuts? It's only eleven. The night is only beginning."

"I'm tired and—"

"Look at her over there." Matt said, ignoring Steven's excuses to leave.

He looked over where Matt was pointing and saw a table with a pretty girl sitting alone. He shrugged, "Yeah? So what. It's just a girl."

"_Just_ a girl? Are you crazy? She's smokin' hot!"

"So? You go talk to her. I'm going home."

Matt grabbed his arm and pulled him back over.

"Nuh-uh. I don't think so. You are not leaving till you have some fun. And for starters, _you_ talk to her. She's hot, but she looks too smart for me. She's more your type." Matt explained to him.

Steven shook his head, "No. I-I can't talk to her." He said nervously.

Just then, the girl looked up from her drink and saw Steven and Matt staring at her. She smiled at them, and looked away again. It was the classic 'I know you like me, but unless you make the first move, nothing will happen' look.

"She totally wants you. Go to her." Matt said shoving him in that direction.

Steven sighed, "Fine. I'll talk to her. And then can I leave?"

"Suit yourself." Matt said dismissively, nudging him closer to the girl.

Steven walked away from him, and towards the girl. He didn't feel confident enough to talk to her. Maybe he would have felt better if he hadn't of just had the strangest experience of his life, ten minutes ago. But he also realized that whatever happened, it was over now. There was a pretty girl smiling at him as he walked over. That was the only thing that should matter to him now.

"Hi." He said nervously as he approached the table.

"Hey." She smiled at him.

"So...I noticed you're alone, and thought maybe you needed some company." He said, gesturing if it was okay for him to sit down.

"Actually, I'm not alone. I'm waiting for someone." She told him.

"Oh. Uh, boyfriend? Am I gonna get beat up for talking to you?" He joked, trying to cover the fact that he felt like a complete idiot for striking out.

"No. Well, I mean, you might get beat up," She laughed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "But I'm here with my sister."

"Your sister routinely beats people up for talking to you?" He laughed giving her a strange look.

"She's really overprotective." She rolled her eyes, then she held out her hand to him. "I'm Dawn, by the way."

"Dawn? That's a pretty name." He smiled, taking her hand. "I'm Steven. But you can call me Steve."

"Okay, Steve."

"So what are you drinking? Can I get you a refill?" He asked her politely, trying to remember what it was like to meet someone new. He'd dated Tracy all through high school, so he was little new to the dating game.

"She's drinking Coke." Buffy said as she appeared behind him, giving Dawn a disapproving glance.

"Oh, hey. You must be the sister." Steve smiled at her.

"This is Buffy. Buffy, this is Steve." Dawn said giving Buffy a desperate look. She didn't want her to ruin this evening for her.

"Buffy? That's an unusual, yet very pretty name." He said awkwardly, trying to make a good impression.

"Thanks." Buffy said quickly, then she looked over at Dawn. "We should get going." Buffy urged her.

"Oh come on. We've only been here an hour. It's Saturday night." Dawn complained.

"I know, but—"

"But what? You wanted to have some fun didn't you?" Dawn questioned her.

"I do. And we did. But—"

"Do I at least get to dance before we go?" Dawn asked her.

Buffy sighed, "Fine."

"Wanna dance?" Dawn asked Steve hopefully.

"Absolutely." He grinned at her.

She jumped up and he led her over to the dance floor. Buffy watched them dancing and laughing and acting just the way normal teenagers should act. So why was Buffy trying to ruin it? She always did this. The minute something was fun, she felt guilty. Like she had other things to worry about, and fun had no place in her life. She had to keep reminding herself that Dawn wasn't her. Dawn shouldn't have to miss out on any of this. And neither did she. Not anymore.

Buffy sipped her soda as she watched them dance. One dance turned into five, and Buffy was getting tired of rejecting the advances of every guy in the room. She'd been hit on at least a dozen times. She wasn't entirely sure why she hadn't responded to any of them. Some of them were attractive, bordering on completely gorgeous. And yet she declined. Finally she downed the last of her drink and walked out to the dance floor to retrieve Dawn. It was well after midnight now and she'd promised their father that she'd not keep Dawn out too late. It had felt weird having a parent around again. Especially Hank. It had been years since she had actually lived with him. But she was getting used to it.

She tapped Dawn on the shoulder. "We have to go."

Dawn was disappointed, but she followed Buffy off the floor. Steven walked behind them, back to the table.

"Sorry we had to cut things short. I was having a good time." Dawn smiled at Steve.

"I had a great time too. And to think I didn't even want to come here tonight." He laughed. "But I'm glad I did."

"Me too." Dawn reached into her purse and pulled out a pen and a gum wrapper. She didn't have anything else to write on. She scribbled her phone number down and handed it to him. "You could call me sometime. If you want." She said nervously.

He took the number and put it in his pocket.

"I'll do that." He said sincerely.

"Okay, leaving now." Dawn said trying not to squeal with giddy delight at the evening she had just had.

Steve watched as they headed towards the back door. Worried, he chased after them.

"Hey, wait!" He shouted loudly over the thumping music.

They turned around to face him.

"Don't go out that way. It's not safe. You should use the front entrance." He warned them.

"It's alright. We can take care of ourselves. But thanks." Buffy said, turning around to leave again.

Steve impulsively grabbed her arm to stop her. Buffy turned around and saw that he appeared to be honestly worried.

"I'm serious. Don't go out that way. I-I can't explain it, but...I was attacked out there in the alley way earlier tonight. I don't want you two getting hurt." He said seriously.

Buffy pulled him to the side and looked at him.

"Who attacked you? A mugger?" She asked interestedly.

Steve shook his head, "No. It wasn't a mugger. I-I have no idea _what_ it was." He wasn't about to tell them it was a vampire. They'd certainly think he was nuts.

"What happened? Where'd it go?" Buffy prodded him.

Steven looked at them apprehensively. He really liked Dawn and didn't want her to think he was a freak or a liar. But he didn't know how to answer the question without sounding like either one of those options.

"It's gone." He said finally.

"Gone where?"

Buffy realized he was holding back, and she didn't blame him. She had a good feeling that she knew exactly what he had encountered in that alley way. She saw that he was looking away from her, avoiding the question. Dawn noticed this too.

"Steve, it's okay. You can tell us. No matter how strange it seems, you can tell us." Dawn said sympathetically.

"It wasn't human." He said finally. "Someone said it was a...the guy who killed it, he said it was a vampire."

"Vampire. Damn. I knew it." Buffy muttered to herself.

"Wait, you really believe me? You know about vampires?" He asked disbelieving.

"It's kind of a long story, but yeah, I believe you." Buffy told him. "You said someone killed it. Who was it? Was it a big, broody looking guy in a leather coat with stick-uppy hair?"

"You know him?" Steve asked completely baffled.

"He's my ex boyfriend."

"Your ex? Who is he?"

"Angel. His name is Angel." Buffy said softly.

She should have realized that sooner or later she was bound to cross paths with him. This was his city after all. She had been trying to resist the urge to visit him ever since they'd arrived in LA.

"Angel?" Finally Steve had a name to put with the face of the man in his dreams. He looked up at Buffy and Dawn. "It wasn't him who killed the vampire though. It was someone else. They came together."

"It was probably Wesley." Buffy mused. "I hear he's gotten totally bad-ass since he left Sunnydale." She remarked to Dawn.

"Really? That I find hard to believe." Dawn chuckled.

"Um, so you guys really don't think I'm crazy?" Steve asked, interrupting their conversation.

"No, we so don't. Believe me." Buffy reassured him.

"Will you call me later? We can talk more then." Dawn asked him hopefully.

"I will. Promise. I wanna hear more about this Angel guy." He needed to know exactly who he was and why he was invading his dreams.

He watched as the girls walked out the front entrance, at his urging. Tonight had certainly turned out to be a lot more interesting than staying at the library studying. He'd almost been killed by a vampire, only to be saved by the mysterious man from his dreams and some stranger with a really bad dye job. Then he'd met a wonderful girl, and her odd, but nice sister who happened to have dated the mysterious man in his dreams. Nothing made any logical sense, but at the same time, it did. It was as if something else was controlling his fate. And he was desperate to know what would happen next.

The next morning Buffy lay in her bed, listening to the sound of birds chirping outside her window. The serene peace was broken as she heard her father calling her down to breakfast. She glanced at the clock and noted it was 9:30am. She hadn't gotten much sleep last night. She had been thinking about Angel all night. She was torn because she wanted to avoid him, yet knowing he had been so close to her last night...

She wasn't sure she even _wanted_ to see him. Or if he'd want to see her. Not after her stupid speech about cookie dough and cookies. She really didn't know what she was saying that night. She had just been startled to see him. Somehow seeing him always hurtled her back in time to when she sixteen again, just as if he'd never left her. But he _had_ left her, and life had changed and gone on without him in it. She'd loved again. She had dated Riley for a year, and then there was Spike.

God, Spike...she still missed him tremendously. He had said he didn't believe her when she told him she loved him, but something inside of her knew he had only done that for her benefit. But it upset her to think he had died honestly believing she didn't love him. But there wasn't anything she could do now. He was gone. And the place in her heart that he occupied was empty now. Achingly empty. For two years Spike had been the one she turned to. For comfort, for friendship, for safety. He had filled this place in her heart that had died when she had. And though things between them started out very wrong, it still meant something. He had given her something that no one else could give. And now he was gone and that place was empty again.

There was a knock on her door then, disturbing her melancholy.

"Buffy? Breakfast is ready. Are you coming down?" Dawn asked through the door.

"I'll be there in a minute." Buffy told her as she forced herself to get out of bed.

She walked down the steep staircase and into the kitchen. Hank was standing at the stove flipping pancakes, when he turned and smiled at Buffy.

"Good morning, Sweetheart."

"Morning, Dad."

"I hope you're hungry. I made everything. Pancakes, eggs, bacon." He told her cheerfully.

"Wow, you really went all out, didn't you?" Buffy was impressed.

"Well, when you two were little, Sunday was always breakfast day, remember?" He asked her. "Joyce and I would make everything under the sun and lay it out buffet style. And you and Dawn would always eat way too much." He chuckled.

"I remember." Buffy smiled. It had felt like a lifetime ago that she had been young and innocent. Her mom being alive, and her parents happy and in love making breakfast together. It had been eons ago.

Hank placed the stack of pancakes on the table, amongst the other food, and sat down across from his daughters.

"So, Buffy, have you decided what you're going to do yet?" He asked curiously.

"Do? About what?" She asked nervously, wondering if he could read her thoughts about whether to see Angel or not.

"About school. You said you were going to check out the class schedules for the winter semester." He reminded her.

"Oh right. Well, I still don't know what to do about my missing records."

"I took care of it. I pulled a few strings and explained that your records were destroyed in the earthquake. All you need to do is sign up, and take a placement test." He told her happily.

"Wow. Really? That's all, and then I can be college Buffy again?" She asked in awe.

"Yes, it's all taken care of. You just have to sign up for the classes you want."

Buffy reached over the table and kissed her father on the cheek, as she gave him a hug.

"Thank you Dad. Really." She said sincerely.

Life was starting to get easier and make sense again. She may have been bitter towards her father for abandoning them, but he was really trying to make up for that now. And maybe if Buffy hadn't of gone through hell the last few years, it wouldn't have been enough. But now, just having the security and the safety of her father, meant the world to her. She felt for the first time that maybe she had a shot at actually succeeding as Buffy, the girl. And not just Buffy the Slayer.

Later that day Buffy had told Dawn and her father that she was going out shopping. She had driven her Jeep to the Beverly Center, but when she had gotten to the parking garage, she had abruptly turned around.

_Change of plans_...she mentally noted.

It was a ridiculous idea, but she had to do it. She had to see Angel. If for no other reason than to let him know she was in town and doing well. Maybe if he ever needed her, he could call her? She was still a Slayer, even though she wasn't doing any slaying as of late. It seemed wrong to be living in such close proximity to him and not even let him know she was here. It was a simple courtesy visit. Nothing more, she tried to convince herself.

But it _was_ more than that. Angel was familiar. He was part of her old life. And even though things were actually looking up for her now, she still longed for the comfort a familiar face would bring. She wasn't showing up here to start things with him again. Nothing had changed on that front. He was still cursed, she was still cookie dough, or whatever. And her heart was still heavy with the absence of Spike. But she still wanted to see him, if only in a friendship capacity. She had to do this.

Spike sat behind the large hotel desk in the front lobby of the Hyperion. Occasionally they'd still get calls from people who were in need of help, and hadn't gotten the new phone number at the Wolfram and Hart headquarters. Spike's day job was to answer the phone. He wasn't sure how the hell he'd gotten stuck with a crap job like that, but at least it was something to do.

Willow walked down the stairs and greeted Spike cheerfully.

"Hey." She smiled.

"You still here?" He asked her curiously.

"Yeah..."

"I thought you said you were leaving today?"

"I was. But...I missed my flight." She said softly.

"How did you manage that? We're only 15 minutes from the airport."

"I kinda sorta missed it on purpose." She admitted to him.

Spike looked at her with interest.

"You don't want to go home, I take it?"

She shrugged and leaned forward to lay her head on the desk. She looked up at him.

"I don't really have a home. I mean, Sunnydale was my home, and that's gone." She said unhappily. "And Cleveland is...well, it's just not home."

"Well neither is Los Angeles." He pointed out. "Besides, what about the girlfriend? Isn't she waiting for you? Or is there trouble in paradise?"

"I don't know. I've been gone for two and half months."

"And you don't miss her?"

"I haven't really thought much about her at all, to be honest. I don't think that's a good sign, is it?" Willow asked, already knowing the answer.

"I'd wager it's not." He agreed. "So what now, then? You joining us for good?"

"If Angel wants me to. I-I haven't actually asked him yet. But I talked to Wes and he said that they could always use someone who knows a lot about magic."

Just then the door of the hotel swung open, startling Spike and Willow.

"Honey, I'm home!" A voice echoed in the empty lobby.

Spike took in the sight of a green skinned demon, with red horns, wearing a bright blue suit. He immediately went into battle mode. This demon was pretty nervy just waltzing into the hotel in broad daylight. In a flash, Spike leapt over the counter and proceeded to tackle the demon to the ground.

Willow shouted, "No! Spike, don't!"

Spike looked at her curiously, as the demon pushed him off.

"That's not exactly the welcome I was looking for." Lorne said sarcastically. Then he looked at Willow. "Good to see you again, by the way. And who's the new guy?"

"That's Spike." Angel said as he descended the staircase.

Spike looked at everyone confused.

"You know this demon?" He asked.

"Lorne, I'd like you to meet the newest thorn in my side." Angel told him.

Lorne pulled himself off the ground and straightened his jacket. He held out his hand to Spike.

"Charmed, I'm sure. You've got quite the tackle, Blondie."

"Well, I work out." Spike mentioned.

"I can tell." Lorne muttered, admiring Spike's muscular build.

Spike looked at him and shook his head. _Bloody poofter_... It would figure that Angel would be friends with a demon like that. The Magnificent Poof attracted others like him, Spike thought with amusement.

"Spike can I speak to you for a minute?" Angel asked through clenched teeth.

Spike sighed and Angel ushered him over to the side, as Willow and Lorne went into the back office and began catching up.

"Next time, before you go attacking my friends, check with me first." Angel told him irritated.

"How the hell was I supposed to know he was your friend? You never mentioned him."

"He's been in New York cutting an album."

"He sings?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's still a demon. We usually kill demons. I had no idea he was your friend." Spike insisted.

"Well, Lorne is harmless."

"Fine, but I didn't know that! It's not like he had a sign around his neck saying 'I may be green, but I'm nice. Don't kill me!'." Spike said defensively. "Besides, I didn't hurt him."

"You're lucky you didn't." Angel informed him.

"What the hell has gotten your knickers in a twist? It was an honest mistake. You're acting like I plotted to murder your family."

Angel knew he was being unreasonable. He was still shaken over seeing Connor last night. It wasn't Spike's fault. The Powers gave Spike that vision for a reason. Angel wasn't sure if it was a message to him that what he had done was wrong, or if they were showing him that no matter what he did, Connor would never be entirely safe. Angel was confused, and he was taking it out on Spike. Old habits die hard, he thought.

"Just think a little bit more before you jump into battle, okay?" Angel said trying to calm down.

"Fine. You sound just like—Buffy." Spike said startled.

"Don't bring Buffy into this. She has nothing—"

"Oh god...Buffy." He said again.

"Will you just shut up about Buffy?"

Angel was getting impatient. But he could see Spike staring blankly over his shoulder at something. He turned his head to see what it was. Buffy stood in the entrance to the Hyperion, rooted silently in her spot. She couldn't even begin to form words. Spike was standing in front of her. Alive. Not dust. Spike was alive.

"Buffy? What are you doing here?" Angel asked rushing over to her.

"I just...I was...Spike?" She stammered as her gaze was transfixed on the blonde vampire.

He walked over towards her, careful to keep a safe distance away. He never dreamed he'd see her again. And now she was here. What must she think? She had no idea he was back. And now she had seen it with her own eyes.

"You're alive." She whispered as he stood directly in front of her now. She reached out to touch him and felt that he was solid. He wasn't an apparition and she wasn't dreaming.

"I am. Well, alive as a vampire can ever be." He smiled at her.

Angel silently witnessed their reunion. Suddenly he felt like an outsider in his own home. He hadn't been prepared for Buffy to appear, and certainly not without warning her about Spike.

"Buffy, we were going to tell you, but Spike and Willow..." Angel began softly, knowing how hard this must be for her.

"Willow? Willow knows?" She asked, feeling completely out of the loop.

"Willow is the one who brought me back." Spike informed her quietly, still in shock at seeing her again.

"How? Why? I am so confused. What the hell is going on here?" She asked desperately. It had taken all she had inside her just to get the courage to see Angel again. She hadn't in a million years expected to see Spike.

Just then Willow and Lorne emerged from the office laughing over something. Willow stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Buffy standing on the steps.

"Buffy!" She proclaimed excitedly. Then abruptly her excitement died down when she saw the expression on Buffy's face. Buffy was actually here, staring at Spike. She knew now. And suddenly Willow felt deep remorse for not telling her about it first.

"That's Buffy? Angel's Buffy?" Lorne whispered to Willow.

She nodded her head, "She's also Spike's Buffy. They kinda had a thing too." She whispered back.

Lorne shook his head and smiled, "I'm glad I came back. Looks like things are about to get real interesting."


	4. Somewhere I Belong

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters here. I wish I did, cause then I'd be rich. The story here is mine though, so if you'd like to archive it, let me know.

Author's Note: This is the fourth part of my series Fortune Favors The Brave. It's called **Somewhere I Belong.**

Summary: Buffy must deal with the reality that Spike has returned from the beyond. Can they pick up where they left off or has everything changed now? Also, Buffy deals with her emotions as Spike's life is put in danger once more. Meanwhile Dawn and Steve grow closer as Steve begins to remember things about a life he had once forgotten.

Rating: PG-13

**::Fortune Favors The Brave::**

**Somewhere I Belong**

Buffy sat on the couch in the lobby of the Hyperion. Spike was sitting across from her, and Angel was pacing back and forth anxiously. Willow was perched on the edge of the counter while Lorne leaned over it. No one was speaking. The air was so thick you could cut right through it. Buffy had a million things she wanted to say, but forming words seemed alien to her at this point. Finally Lorne could take no more and he decided to get the ball rolling.

"So, Buffy? Nice name by the way. It's cute. Which I guess isn't the image you're trying to project, what with being a vampire Slayer and all. But I digress...So, you're living in LA now?" He asked, realizing he was rambling.

Buffy was jarred out of her thoughts and turned to look over at Lorne.

"Um, yeah, I'm living here now. My dad. Dawn and I are living my dad." She said awkwardly.

"Dawn?"

"That's my sister." Buffy told him.

"Ah. Well that's nice." Silence overtook the room once more.

Finally Buffy broke the tension. She let out a deep breath and looked at everyone.

"So, is someone gonna explain to me what the hell is going on? Or are we all gonna sit here and stare each other to death?"

Willow was the first to speak, "Buffy, we were going to tell you about Spike, but it just seemed like—"

"It seemed like your life was going really well." Angel finished for her.

"And we didn't want to upset that." Spike added.

"How could telling me that you weren't dead upset me anymore than I already was?" She wondered incredulously.

"Well we didn't know how you'd react. Your life was so far removed from everything that was going on here...We thought maybe it was better if you didn't know." Willow tried to explain.

"But you knew what he meant to me...How could you keep it secret? Didn't you think I had a right to know?" Willow was the one person in the room who _really_ knew what Spike had meant to her. Not even Spike himself had truly known that. But Willow had. And Buffy felt betrayed that she hadn't tried to tell her.

"Buffy..." Willow wasn't sure what to say.

Spike stood up and walked over to her. "It's not her fault. I asked her not to tell you. She said you were happy, living the normal life. I didn't see a reason to tell you. You'd left that part of your life behind. You had a new life; one I wasn't meant to be a part of."

"We all agreed it was probably for the best not to bring you into this." Angel chimed in.

"Well, isn't that just like you? You always seem to know what's best for me." She said with a touch of bitterness.

"Oh lets not start that again." Angel said closing his eyes.

"Buffy, Angel isn't to blame here. If you want to blame someone, blame me." Spike could hardly believe that he was actually standing there defending him. "On second thought, you can blame Angel if you want. That's more fun." Spike smirked at him.

"Shut up Spike. This is hardly the time to joke around." Angel scolded him.

Spike realized he was right, much as it pained him to do so. He had just been trying to avoid the harsh reality of the situation. He grew silent again.

Buffy stood up and crossed her arms.

"Okay, fine. I get it. You guys didn't want to bring me into whatever this is, cause I'd stopped with the slaying. Retired. Or whatever. But happy? I don't know where you got that idea." Buffy said shaking her head.

"Um, from you. Y-you said you were happy." Willow reminded her.

Buffy whirled around to face her, "I lied! Can't you tell when I'm lying? Geesh, don't you know me at all?"

"You told Willow you were happy, and now you're blaming us for believing you?" Angel asking dumbfounded.

Buffy realized that she was being unreasonable. Willow couldn't have known. Maybe if Buffy hadn't of been so stupid and let her pride get in the way, Willow would have known the truth and then none of this would be happening now. She sat back down again, and let out a defeated sigh.

"Okay so I need to work on my subtle hinting skills." Buffy said sheepishly.

"If you weren't happy, why didn't you just say so?" Willow asked quietly.

"Because. You were all happy. I-I didn't want to be mope-y girl."

"Well, I wasn't all that happy either. I mean, I was living in Cleveland. Cleveland! And it turns out, the Hellmouth? Not the scariest thing there! How happy could I really be?"

"Okay, we get it. Both of you lied to each other. Are we all caught up now?" Lorne asked curiously.

"_Who_ are you anyway?" Buffy asked him finally.

"I'm Lorne. You might have heard of me?" Buffy looked at him blankly. "Well, maybe not yet. But I just cut an album. It'll be in stores by Christmas. It makes a great stocking stuffer."

"Not really the time for an infomercial." Angel told him.

"Right. Sorry."

All of a sudden Buffy looked around the room for Spike, who had remained silent. She didn't see him.

"Where did Spike go?" Buffy asked.

"He's right—well, he _was_ right there." Angel said, pointing to an empty place behind him.

Buffy stood up and headed for the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Angel asked.

"I'm finding Spike."

"I'll come with you."

"No. I can find him myself."

"But you don't know your way around up there." Angel reminded her.

"I'll figure it out." She said walking past him and heading up the stairs.

There were a ton of rooms and Angel was right that she didn't know where she was going. But she wanted to speak to Spike alone. She came to a room with the door ajar. She pushed it open and didn't see anyone at first. Just as she was moving on, she caught a glimpse of something blonde outside on the terrace. She walked back into the room and went over to the open terrace door.

Spike was standing in the corner, shaded under a large awning. It was early evening and the sun was just beginning to go down. He had a cigarette in his mouth, and he crushed it out when he saw Buffy standing there.

"Found me, eh?" He asked.

"Yeah." She said softly, as she stepped onto the terrace with him. "Why'd you leave?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. Seeing you again...I wasn't prepared."

"_You_ weren't prepared?" She asked incredulously.

"Okay, yeah, so I guess I was more prepared than you were." He admitted with a small smile.

"Now I know how it felt."

"How what felt?" He asked.

"How it felt for you when I walked down those stairs two years ago." She said quietly.

"True." He nodded his head. "But at least I was brought back for a good reason."

"Yeah...Only no one has told me that reason yet." She reminded him.

"Well I'm not even sure I really understand it. I'm just along for the ride." He said, lighting another cigarette absently. "See, there are these visions from some Powers That Be, or some such nonsense. And they needed a demon to carry them. To help people. And I guess there must be a shortage of demons stupid enough help out the good guys. So cue bringing back Spike."

"Wait a minute. Visions? Didn't Cordelia have these visions?" She asked confused.

"Yeah. But she was half demon."

"What? Demon?" She was shocked. "I knew there was a reason I never liked her." She muttered under her breath.

"Well, she wasn't always a demon. Apparently she chose to become one to carry the visions." He explained.

"Okay, taking a minute to absorb this." She said to herself. Then she looked at him. "Okay, if it had to be a demon, wasn't there anyone else who could have these visions? What about Angel?"

"That was my first question too. Seems it's my destiny. Or so they tell me." He shrugged.

"And you just, what? Accepted that?" She asked surprised.

"What else was I supposed to do? They'd just resurrected me." He told her. "Besides, Cordelia gave Willow the visions first. And they were killing her. I had to do it or Willow might have been hurt."

"Why would Cordelia do that if she knew Willow was going to get hurt? And why was Cordelia giving visions away? Was it like a raffle or something?"

"She _had_ to give them away."

"Why?"

"Because Cordelia was dying, Buffy."

"Dying? She's dead?" Buffy asked surprised.

"Yeah. She is."

Buffy sat down in a chair on the terrace, trying to absorb way too much information. She felt like she'd been away for ten years, not seven months.

"Oh." That was all she managed to utter.

Spike moved closer to Buffy and laid his hand gently on her shoulder. He wanted so badly to hold her in his arms again, but something stopped him. They had been at the point before where they were affectionate. She routinely shared his bed, and this time it wasn't just for sex. They had been together. Intimately, in more ways than one. But then he had died, and suddenly he felt as if he were starting all over again with her. He was unsure of what the rules were again.

And slowly, as if she read his thoughts, she took his hand from her shoulder, and just held it. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I guess you were pretty fond of her then?" He asked, assuming the tears were because she had learned Cordelia's fate.

"I'm not crying about Cordelia." She whispered.

"Then why?"

She said nothing, but stood up and wrapped her arms around his waist. He pulled her close, relishing the way she felt against him. He smoothed her hair gently and kissed the top of her head.

"I missed you Spike."

"I never thought I'd hear you say those words." He admitted.

"You didn't think I'd miss you?" She asked him curiously.

"No, I just never thought I'd be back to hear you say them." He smiled at her.

She smiled and rested her head against his chest again. It felt wonderful. Familiar and safe and comforting. It was all very complicated, and he might be right. Maybe he didn't fit into her life right now? Or at least the life she was trying so hard to have for herself. But she couldn't think of that now. This was what she had been missing all those long months, and she was determined to enjoy it.

Dawn and Steve walked hand and hand along the Santa Monica pier. It was nighttime and the lights on the Ferris wheel shone brightly in front of them. Dawn had been giddy when Steve had called her, just as he promised he would. And he didn't even follow the 3 day rule like most guys. He'd called her the very next day. And now they were on an actual date. Holding hands. Dawn had never been on a real date before. Other than with that vampire. At least this time she was pretty certain that Steve had a pulse.

"So, tell me more about that Angel guy. Do you know him very well?" Steve asked, trying to work that into their conversation.

"Angel? Yeah, I know him." She said casually.

"What's he like? Does he kill vampires a lot? Buffy seemed to expect that he was the one who had saved me." He prodded.

"Angel's cool. And yeah, it's kind of his job to kill vampires."

"His job? People have jobs doing that?" He asked in amazement.

"Well, it's a really long story. But I know he's got a detective agency or something. They specialize in helping the hopeless or something like that." She told him.

"Wow...That's really interesting. And kinda weird." He shook his head. "How do you know about all of this? From him?"

"Not really. More from Buffy. She's sort of a Vampire Slayer."

"A what?"

Dawn sighed and pulled him over to a bench and sat him down. She figured she may as well get it over with. Steve already knew vampires were real, so that was a plus. It made explaining the rest of it all a lot easier. She began to tell him about Buffy and being the chosen one and all that. He was enthralled by her story. He'd never heard anything like it. But at the same time, it felt familiar to him. Learning about vampires and killing them, it all seemed like something he just _knew_. Even though he was pretty sure he'd remember being told a tale like this before.

"And Angel, how does he fit in? He's a Vampire Slayer too?" Steve asked.

Dawn laughed and shook her head, "No. He's not. Only girls can be Slayers. Don't ask me why. But no, Angel isn't a Slayer."

"So then what is he? Just a guy?"

"Actually, he's a vampire. But he's not like the others. He has a soul. He helps people now." She explained to him.

Steve flashed back to his dreams. Angel above him with a knife, slashing across his throat. Seeing Angel's vampire face. Being told by the old man in his dreams that vampires are pure evil and a soul couldn't possibly change that. Everything was rushing back at him, and he couldn't make sense of it all. He tried to block out the images in his mind. He didn't want to know any of this. He wanted the images to go away. Dawn noticed the pained look on his face, and she touched his arm.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He lied as he stood up. He took her hand and pulled her up. "Let's go ride the Ferris wheel."

"Okay." She wasn't sure why he suddenly clammed up and changed the subject. But maybe it was all just a little too creepy for him? Dawn reminded herself that not everyone could handle news like that. She wouldn't bring it up again, unless he did.

Angel resumed his nervous pacing. He looked over at Willow and Lorne.

"They've been up there a long time. Shouldn't someone check on them?" He asked.

"They haven't been up there _that_ long. Relax." Willow reassured him.

"But they could be—Well, I don't even want to think what they could be doing." Angel cringed.

"I'm sure they're not doing _that_."

"So this Buffy, she's a Slayer?" Lorne chimed in.

"Yeah." Angel nodded.

"And yet she's managed to get cozy with not one, but two vampires?" He asked.

"Spike has a soul now too." Angel attempted to defend Buffy's choices.

"Yeah, Willow gave me the 411. I thought you were supposed to be the only one?"

"I was. But apparently Spike had to one-up me by actually getting a soul on purpose." Angel shook his head and headed for the stairs. "I'm going up there. It's been too long."

Just then Spike and Buffy appeared at the top of the staircase. Angel made a mental note that Buffy looked as though she had been crying and also she was holding Spike's hand affectionately. Angel wanted to erase that image from his mind forever.

Buffy let go of Spike's hand and they both made their way down the stairs.

"I was just coming up to check on you guys." Angel said, explaining why he was halfway up the staircase.

"We're fine." Buffy said softly. She then appeared to get her confidence back and looked at everyone. "So Spike tells me that someone tried to kill him and Willow."

"Uh, yeah." Willow said, surprised that Spike had filled her in so completely.

"Well, what's the next step? What are we going to do about it?" Buffy asked them with her arms crossed tightly across her chest.

"Buffy, _we're_ not doing anything. This isn't your game anymore." Angel reminded her.

Buffy shook her head, "No. You can't make me go away just because this is your town and your fight."

"Oh really? Because I seem to recall telling a certain blonde vampire Slayer the same thing a few months ago, and you still made me leave town." Angel recalled.

"This is different. Whatever is happening here, it came after _my _friends. The people _I_ care about. And that makes it my game."

"I-I thought you'd given it all up? Retired? No more slaying for Buffy?" Willow remembered her words.

"Well consider me out of retirement." She said seriously. And this felt right to her. This was what she did and did best. She didn't make an active choice to become involved. It chose her. And time and time again, no matter how much she claimed to want out, she couldn't. And not because of a sacred calling, or a sense of duty, but because this is what she wanted. This was where she belonged. And she knew that now.

Wesley wandered the empty halls at Wolfram and Hart. He knew that Lilah was around somewhere. She had to be. He no longer bought the ruse of 'returning from Hell' to impart wisdom and wisecracks. He knew she was here and he would find her. And as if on cue, suddenly she appeared in the hallway before him.

"Looking for something?" She asked curiously.

"How did you know I was here?" He asked calmly.

"Security cameras, Wes." She pointed towards a small camera in the corner.

"Right. So where is your office?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I know you never left this place, so why not show me where your secret lair is?"

"Why should I do that? So you can root through my files and try and figure out what the next step in my evil plan is? Forget it Wes." She shook her head.

"Why would I need to root through your files to find that out? You seemed more than ready to tell me your plans last time." He pointed out.

"Yeah, well, it was a momentary lapse. Besides, plans have changed now." She said offhandedly.

"I'd suspect they have. Since you failed to intercept the vision transfer and kill the vampire." He glared at her. "That was a nice try though. How'd you figure out when the transfer was to take place?"

She sighed, "Ah that was just luck. I saw cute little Fred, swiping two vials of potent sleeping potion. I just put two and two together." She shrugged.

"You had Fred under surveillance?"

"You're all under surveillance. If one of you digs just a little too deep, or stumbles onto something not meant for your eyes, I have to know about it."

"You make me sick, you know that?"

"I know." She said, almost sadly. "But I offered to let you in on the deal and let you have your say. You turned me down. Now we're playing by my rules." She said seriously.

And he understood that. She _had_ offered to let him in and he'd refused. But how could he not refuse? He was not about to let her just kill Spike or anyone else. Vampire or not, it made no difference.

"The vampire _will_ die. And if you attempt something clever like trying to transfer the visions to someone else, they'll die too. You can't win this Wes. So stop trying." She told him point blank.

"I'll never stop trying." He told her firmly.

"Neither will I."

Buffy walked down the hallway and knocked on Dawn's bedroom door. It was just after midnight, but Hank had informed Buffy that Dawn just got back from a date, so she knew she was still awake.

"Who is it?" Dawn called out, as she changed into her nightclothes.

"It's me. Can I come in?"

"Go ahead."

Buffy walked in just as Dawn was pulling her nightgown over her head. Dawn smoothed her hair down and looked at Buffy.

"What's up? Come to find out how my date was? Well, it was amazing. We—"

"That's not why I'm here. But I'm glad you had fun." Buffy smiled at her.

"Oh. Then what do you want?"

Buffy sat down on the edge of Dawn's bed and motioned for her sit next to her.

"Sit down. There's something important I have to tell you." She said seriously.

"Okay, this looks serious. We're not moving again are we? Cause I'm _so_ not leaving." Dawn said firmly.

"No, we aren't moving. This isn't about that." Buffy assured her. "It's about me being the Slayer."

"Oh. What about that?"

"I've decided that it's what I have to do. I-I know that I said I was done with it, and I really tried to let it go, but I can't." She informed her.

"Okay...Are you moving to Cleveland after all? Without me?" Dawn was concerned for her.

"No, I'm not going anywhere. This is where I need to be." Buffy sighed deeply, "I went to see Angel today."

"You did? Are you guys getting back together?" Dawn asked interestedly.

"No. Really not. I went to see him just to let him know we were here. And then something happened. Something I _really_ wasn't expecting."

"Is he all evil again? Is he Angelus? Do you have to slay him?" Dawn asked worriedly.

Buffy shook her head, "No, he's fine. But there was someone else there with him...Spike was with him."

"Spike? What? I-I thought he was—"

"He was. But not anymore. You know how that can be." Buffy added wryly. "Willow waved her magic wand again and voila! Spike's back."

"Wow...uh, but why would she do that? I-I didn't think she liked Spike _that_ much."

"I know. It's a long story. But basically Willow's here and Spike's alive, and someone tried to kill them both. I need to find out who. That's why I'm going back. I might be able to help. I _have_ to do this, Dawn."

"Buffy, if that's what will make you happy, then I want you to do it. That's all I ever wanted. You to be happy finally. You don't have to explain to me why you're doing it. I understand." Dawn said touching her arm.

"I thought maybe you'd be mad like the last time I told you I wanted to go back."

"I was never mad at you. I just wanted you to think a bit before you went running off to Cleveland. Plus, I so didn't want to move there."

"I know. Me neither." Buffy laughed slightly. Then she smiled at Dawn. "So tell me about the date. Did he kiss you?" She raised her eyebrow at Dawn.

"That's none of your business." Dawn admonished her, and then she grinned wildly.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"It was so great." Dawn sighed. "He's so nice. But..."

"But what?"

"Well, he's a little obsessed with the whole Angel thing. He keeps asking me questions about him." Dawn told her.

"What kind of questions?" Buffy was momentarily unsettled. They didn't know this Steve person at all. He could be bad news.

"Nothing much. Just wanting to know what he's like and why he's doing what he does. But he got all weird when I told him Angel was a vampire."

"Well, that's understandable. I mean, in his mind it was a vampire who tried to kill him. I can see why he'd be reluctant to believe Angel wasn't like that." Buffy relaxed a bit. It was likely just idle curiosity that fueled Steve's questions.

"I just hope he's not gay." Dawn sighed and flopped back onto her bed.

Buffy laughed, "Gay? Why would you think that?"

"Well, he's so nice and sweet and a perfect gentlemen. And he seems all wowed over Angel. And he _actually_ likes me. And I have no luck with guys. So _something_ must be wrong with him. That must mean he's gay or mental or a vampire." Dawn said listlessly.

"Dawnie, please. That's so not true. I'm sure he's not gay or mental. And I seriously doubt he's a vampire." Buffy assured her. "You checked for a pulse this time right?" Buffy added with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, he has a pulse. Plus I saw his reflection on the side of a hot dog cart at the pier."

"Good. So see? Scratch that last worry. He's _not _a vampire." Buffy smiled. "Not that dating a vampire isn't a valid lifestyle choice sometimes. If you're me anyway." Buffy added softly, thinking about seeing Spike again earlier.

"What's gonna happen with you and Spike?" Dawn asked sensing what Buffy was thinking about.

"I don't know. Nothing probably. I-I haven't figured it out yet." She said nervously. "Besides Angel jealous? It's not a pretty sight."

"Do you still love him?"

"Angel? I-I don't know." Buffy said uncomfortably.

"Actually I was talking about Spike." Dawn clarified.

"Oh. Well...I don't really know that either." She sighed wearily. "I-I don't think I really know much of anything at this point. It's late and it's been an incredibly weird day. I need to sleep."

Buffy said goodnight to Dawn and headed for her own room. Just when she thought she'd finally figured her life out and where she belonged, something came along and changed it. Just this morning she was excitedly contemplating going back to school and giving the regular life another shot. And now...she'd seen Angel, Spike was back, Willow was here...It was all just too much to take in at once. She needed to sleep, possibly forever. Or at least until life started making sense again.

Spike was lying in bed trying to sleep, but he found it too difficult. All he could think about was Buffy; which was certainly nothing new to him. But this time it was different. It had been a week since she'd learned he was back. And she seemed determined to act as if nothing had changed between them. But he was still uncertain where they stood. He didn't want her to feel obligated to be with him just because she made a deathbed confession of love for him. He had told her he didn't believe it anyway, but he wasn't sure she really bought that. She made that confession knowing Spike would never live to respond to it. They had no future so therefore there was nothing to lose by telling him she loved him. But now all of that had changed.

He was here and now so was she. And suddenly her confession might actually have some consequences. But then again, maybe it was best if it was never spoken of again? Maybe she really hadn't meant it, and he was just fooling himself into thinking he had done a noble thing by not holding her to it. But he'd likely never know for sure. He wasn't about to ask her if she had truly lied to him that day. Some part of him just wanted to hold on to the fantasy that she really did love him. To get confirmation from her that it had been a lie, hurt just a little too much for him to bear.

Suddenly as Spike lay there with his eyes closed, lost in reverie, he felt a cold breeze blow across his face. He had shut the sliding door and the drapes to make sure the morning sunrise didn't fry him as he slept. So the breeze couldn't be coming from there. He opened his eyes warily and saw a bright glow of light in the corner of his room. He bolted upright, startled by the strange phenomena. Maybe something was in his room, ready to kill him again?

"Who's there?" He asked cautiously.

A woman's figure began to form in front of his eyes. She stepped away from the glow and closer to Spike.

"Spike?"

"Yeah...who the hell—or rather, _what_ the hell are you? A ghost?" He asked uneasily.

She sighed, "Yup. I'm a ghost. Damn, that sucks. I hate being dead." She muttered. "I'm Cordelia Chase. Remember me?" She asked him.

"You're _Cordelia_?" He asked surprised. "What the hell happened to your hair?"

"Shut up. Can't a girl try something new?" She groaned. "Besides, like I'd take hairstyling tips from _you_, Billy Idol."

"There is nothing wrong with my hair. It's a look." He said defensively.

"A look? Please. That look is _so_ over." She rolled her eyes. Then she shook her head, "I'm not here to discuss styling tips anyway. This isn't a slumber party. This is important."

"Well, you've got my attention." He said as he wrapped the sheet around his nakedness and stood up to face her. "To what do I owe the honor?"

"Someone wants to kill you."

"Yeah? Tell me something I don't know." He said grabbing his pack of cigarettes and lighting one up.

"This is serious. They aren't going to stop until your dead. Or deader. Whatever."

"Do you know who it is?" He asked her curiously.

She shook her head, "I can't say."

"Why the hell not?" He was irritated.

"Look, it's hard to explain, and I don't have a lot of time. If I say it out loud, they'll hear me."

"Who will hear you? There's no one in this room but us."

"They hear everything. Trust me. They'll know. They're after me because I know too much." She said nervously.

"After you? But you're dead. What could they possibly do to you? Whoever _they_ are."

"You think being dead and all floaty and glowy is the worst thing that can happen to you? Think again. It can get much worse. Like Hell, worse."

"So what do you want me to do? You're not giving me much to work with, Cordelia."

"You need to figure this out on your own, but just know that they won't give up until the visions are gone for good." She explained quickly.

"Is this a person? Can you at least tell me that? Am I looking for a single person who wants to do me in?" He asked her.

She shook her head, "Not exactly. It's bigger than that."

She reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled something shiny out. She reached over and took his hand and clasped it tightly. He felt something burning the skin on his palm and he drew back his hand.

"Ow! What the hell are you—"

"Shh, it's a hint." She said softly. "Be careful who you trust, Spike. Not everything is what it seems."

And with that she was gone. The glowing light disappeared and he stood there, even more confused than ever. He went to the lamp and flicked it on. He looked down at his palm and found the image of a small heart burned into his hand.

"A heart? That's my hint?" He muttered confused. "You're not very good at giving hints, you know." He called out to Cordelia, unsure if she could hear him or not, but it was worth a shot.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at the red outline on his hand. It didn't make any sense to him. Did it mean that someone he loved was after him? Buffy? No, that couldn't be it. Buffy would never...Well, not anymore at least. He had no idea what kind of hint it was supposed to be and he hated all the cryptic talk. But if whatever it was that was after him was after Cordelia too, and she was dead, then it must be something very powerful. Something definitely not of this world. The First Evil again? No, that didn't make sense either. The heart didn't fit in anywhere. And be careful who he trusted? That sounded very sinister and it also implied that someone he knew was in on this. Or at least they might know more than what they were saying. No, he wouldn't tell anyone about this visit from Cordelia. No one except the one person he knew for sure he could trust.

Buffy stood on the pier and looked around for Spike. He had called her and told her to meet him there after dark. He wouldn't tell her what it was about, but when she asked if she should wear dating clothes or slaying clothes he had laughed at her.

"Is there a difference? I've watched you slay in a tight leather mini skirt and high heels." He'd laughed. "But this is more business than pleasure." He'd informed her.

She couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed knowing he had merely wanted to meet with her for business. She could use a little pleasure. It had been a long time since she'd been with him, or anybody—in _that _way. Not that she wanted to have sex with Spike again. But...She shook that thought out of her mind. That idea had no place in her life. She couldn't do that again. Not until she'd gotten her life together. But still...a girl has needs, she thought to herself.

"Bad Buffy. Stop that." She scolded herself aloud.

"Stop what?" Spike asked as he walked up behind her.

She whirled around startled, "Ah! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"I wasn't sneaking. Were you talking to yourself?" He asked with amusement.

"Maybe." She said feeling her cheeks turn slightly pink.

He smiled at her and shook his head.

"So why am I here? What's up?" She asked him, shifting the subject away from her embarrassment.

"Right, well, I wasn't sure who I could trust, so don't go blabbing this to anyone. Not even Angel." He warned her. "Let's walk."

He took her arm and pulled her with him. They walked slowly down the pier together, not speaking at first. Then he glanced over at her.

"I got a visit from someone last night. Cordelia." He began explaining.

"Cordelia? I thought she was dead?" Buffy was confused.

"She is. But that never really seems to matter these days. She told me someone wanted me dead; which I knew." He explained. "But then she did this." He showed her his palm with the small heart shaped burn on it. "She said this was a hint about who was after me."

"A heart?"

"Yeah. Does that mean anything to you?" He asked her.

She shook her head, "Should it?"

He sighed, "No. It doesn't mean anything to me either. But it's obviously a clue to something."

"Why don't you ask Angel?"

"I can't. She said that I needed to be careful who I trusted."

"So? You can trust Angel." She said seriously.

He shook his head, "No, I can't. I'm not sure who I can trust anymore. Except you, of course."

"Well, why didn't she just tell you who it was? What's with the cryptic?"

"She said she couldn't say it because _they_ would hear her and _they_ were already after her. But she couldn't tell me who they were."

"Did she say _why_ _they_ wanted to kill you?" Buffy asked.

"She said they were after the visions. They wanted them destroyed. My guess is whoever it is thought that they had done just that when Cordelia died. I get the feeling that Willow and I caught them off guard." He stopped walking and faced her, "Buffy, I think Angel has something to do with this." He said seriously.

"Angel? Come on. Just because you two dislike each other—"

"Despise each other." Spike corrected her.

"Okay, despise each other, doesn't mean that he'd try and kill you. Not now. Not that you have a soul." She refused to even entertain Spike's suggestion.

"This isn't about whether I have a soul or not. Angel is the one who set it up for Cordelia to die. He gave the go-ahead for Wesley and the others to perform a spell to free her spirit. He essentially had her killed, Buffy. And why would he do that except to destroy the visions?"

She shook her head vigorously and turned her back to him. Then she whirled around to face him once more, "I can't even believe you're suggesting this. It's ridiculous. Angel would never do anything like that."

"Buffy, listen—"

"No, I'm not going to listen to this Spike. If this is some kind of sick joke to make me hate Angel so you can have me all to yourself—"

"Oh please. As if I'd do that. You actually think I'm making this up to get Angel out of the way? You're so full of yourself, you know that?" He said incredulously.

"Full of myself? Look who's talking. You always thought you were so damn sexy that I couldn't resist you." Buffy crossed her arms angrily and looked away from him.

He laughed slightly, "Well, I was right, wasn't I?"

"Shut up."

"Buffy look, this has nothing to do with that. This isn't about which vampire gets the girl. I don't care about that." He said dismissively.

"You don't?" She was surprised at how deflated she became hearing those words. Maybe she _was_ full of herself? Maybe she really did expect Angel and Spike to fight over her affections while she protested, but secretly loved every minute of it.

"All I'm saying is that I don't trust Angel, and it has nothing to do with you. He was the one who got rid of Cordelia, and he's the one who wanted the visions taken out of Willow and destroyed." He imparted to her.

"He did?" Buffy was shocked. This was news to her.

"Yes, he did. He wanted a way to get them out of Willow and gone forever. Then Willow figured out they were meant for me. He didn't like that idea very much. He didn't want me coming back. I thought it was only because he hated me, but maybe it was more than that?"

Buffy couldn't believe what she was hearing. Angel was in on this? She wasn't sure she believed that, but Spike did have a cause for suspicion. She shook her head.

"I still don't believe that. I'm sure he just hated you. Which from his standpoint is valid. I-I don't think he's really trying to kill you. Otherwise, why let Willow bring you back at all?" She conveyed her doubts to him.

"That's the part that confuses me too. I don't know. But I do know that something is up. Angel may not be behind this, but I'd wager he may know who is."

"Then why wouldn't he tell you?" She wanted to know.

"That's what I want to find out."

"How?"

"We start asking questions. I told Angel before that the only way to find out who was behind it was to take it to the streets. Dig around a bit. There's bound to be someone out there that can be persuaded to talk."

"And let me guess, he didn't want to do that?" She asked suspiciously.

"We never got that far. I had a vision and we were interrupted, and it was never brought up again."

"Well then that doesn't prove anything." She said.

"I wasn't trying to prove anything." He shook his head. "I don't want Angel to be involved in this any more than you do."

"Right, cause you and Angel are such tight friends." She said sarcastically.

"No, I already said I can't stand the sodding poofter. But..." He looked down at his feet, "But you care for him. And if he's gone evil again, this time with a soul? I don't think you could handle that."

"Angel isn't evil. He can't be." She protested.

"I hope you're right." He muttered softly.

Later on, they ended up in a run down area in downtown Los Angeles. It was deserted except for homeless people, drug dealers and various prostitutes waiting on corners for someone to pick them up. Buffy was uneasy, but she tried not to let it show. A place like this tended to be filled with all kinds of evil; mostly of the human variety. And that wasn't Buffy's area of expertise. Three headed demon from Hell? No problem. Serial killers and drug dealers? No thanks.

"I really don't like leaving my Jeep down here, Spike. It doesn't have an alarm." She told him unhappily.

"You're insured aren't you?"

"Yes, but that's not the point. I like my Jeep." She pouted.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. It's not like you're driving a Lexus or anything." He pointed out.

They kept walking and Buffy nearly tripped over a wino on the street. She looked at Spike with growing irritation.

"What are you hoping to find down here anyway, aside from a hooker and a bag of crack?" Buffy asked Spike in hushed tones.

"Information. I know a place. It's not far from here." He informed her.

"How do you know any places here?"

"I _have_ been to Los Angeles, Buffy. I spent quite a lot of time here actually."

"When?"

"I'm over a hundred years old. I've been around."

She was silenced when she realized that the reason Spike knew this seedy area so well, was because he used to be one of those evil things lurking in the dark.

They came to what appeared to be an old warehouse. Spike stopped short and motioned for Buffy to stay back.

"This is the place. You hang back. I'm not sure what's inside there."

"Spike, I'm the Slayer. I can take care of myself." Buffy said slightly perturbed.

"Exactly. You're the Slayer. Demons don't tend to enjoy social calls from Slayers." He reminded her. "Stay right here."

Spike opened the door and disappeared inside. Buffy crossed her arms and suddenly felt cold. She hadn't worn a jacket because it had been fairly warm when she left her house. But now a cold breeze had picked up, and she was starting to get uncomfortably chilly. Or it could have just been that she was in a scary place alone that made her miss the simple evil of the Hellmouth. At least she knew what her role was when she was fighting against literal monsters.

She suddenly felt her skin tingle, and it wasn't just from the cold night air. She felt uneasy; like she was being watched. She turned around abruptly, expecting to see a drug dealer or a pimp sizing her up. But there was nothing there. Something felt off about this situation. She just didn't know what it was. It wasn't like her to feel scared of anything. She'd battled countless evils, and even died twice. Standing in a dark alleyway shouldn't be giving her a wig like this.

"Screw this. I'm going inside." She muttered to herself.

At least if there were demons in there, she'd know what to do. Except she didn't have any weapons of any kind. Which she realized just a little too late, as she threw the door open heartily announcing her entrance. She soon realized it didn't seem to make much of an impact. No one even noticed her as she walked into the building.

Inside she saw rows of tables set up, with demons of every kind filling the chairs. At the front of the warehouse a purple skinned demon with two large horns was standing at a podium.

"B 23." He called out loudly.

"Bingo!" She heard someone shout. She turned to see a pale skinned demon with four arms jumping up and down.

"That's not fair! He's got four arms!" Someone else shouted, disputing the win.

Suddenly a fight broke out and Buffy stood transfixed, staring at the scene before her.

"It's Bingo night in Hell." She mumbled in disbelief. Then she saw Spike standing in a corner speaking with a red, lizard like demon. She made her way over to them.

Spike looked up and saw Buffy coming towards him and he closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Bingo? This is the information place?" She asked him.

"I thought I told you to wait outside." He said through clenched teeth.

"Why? Cause I couldn't possibly protect myself from demons playing Bingo?"

"Who the hell is _she_, Spike?" The demon asked uncomfortably. The girl was clearly human, and humans were not welcome at this game.

"She's no one. Look, do you know anything or not?" Spike asked, attempting to ignore Buffy's presence.

"There's been talk." He said nervously looking around the room.

"What kind of talk?" Spike prodded.

"Just that whoever can bag this vampire with some kind of visions, gets a reward. A big reward."

"Do you know who the vampire is?" Spike asked, wondering how much this demon actually knew.

"I've got no idea. I'm not a bounty hunter, Spike. I run a Bingo parlor. Strictly legit. Except for the demons. But everything else, completely above board." He explained uncomfortably.

Spike nodded his head and grabbed Buffy's arm.

"We're going." He said quickly.

Before she could protest or say anything else, he was practically dragging her out of the room.

"Let me go! What the hell are you doing?" She asked irritated, as she wrenched her arm free.

"It's not safe here."

"I don't need you to protect me. Since when do you think of me as fragile?" She asked agitated.

"Bloody hell...It's always about you isn't it? I'm not protecting _you_, I'm protecting _me_. There's a price on my head. Look around. A room full of demons obsessed with money? I'm as good as dead here." He explained as he tried to usher her towards the door again. This time she let him lead her. She felt like an idiot for thinking he was trying to protect her. Why would he do that? He'd never tried to shield her from anything because he always trusted her to protect herself. He had more faith in her than she had in herself most times. She should have remembered that.

They made their way outside and Buffy's uneasy feeling returned. Something was lurking in that alley. She just knew it, even if she didn't see anything.

"Something's wrong out here." She said seriously as she looked at her surroundings.

"What do you mean?"

"I-I don't know. But something out here is giving me a serious wiggins."

"Then let's get out of here." He grabbed her hand and they began to run from whatever unseen foe that was setting off Buffy's senses. He trusted her instincts.

Just as they made it to the edge of the sidewalk, something impeded their path. It felt like a force field of some type or a magical barrier, trapping them in the alley. They fell backwards as they bounced off the unseen object. Before they had time to gather their senses, something grabbed Spike by the shoulders and began dragging him off at lightning speed.

"Spike!" She yelled, but he was moving too fast away from her. She jumped up and started to run after him. She still couldn't see what was dragging him.

She caught up to him and Spike yelled for her, "It's invisible! The bloody thing is invisible!"

Buffy decided to take a flying leap at the nothingness directly behind Spike. She hit something hard and it tumbled backwards with Buffy's momentum. She began punching wildly into thin air, her fist connecting with something at each blow. Suddenly she was tossed off and into the air, and collided roughly with a dumpster.

Spike was on his feet now and attempted to take aim at the invisible monster himself. He punched forward and slammed his fist into the brick wall.

"Bloody hell!"

He shook his hand, and wondered if it were broken. But he didn't have much time to ponder that when he was smashed across the face by an invisible fist. He reeled backwards and knocked over a stack of empty shipping crates. Buffy leapt through the air aiming for the last spot she knew the monster was, but ended up colliding with Spike instead, knocking them both over.

"Okay, this is pissing me off." Buffy grumbled as she got to her feet once again.

She was struck hard across the back, hurtling her forward face first into the brick. She was knocked out cold. Spike tried to make a move, but he was grabbed from behind. He was lifted up into the air and tossed effortlessly into the pile of broken crates. Pieces of jagged wood lie all around him.

"Not the best place to land, Spike." He mumbled as he tried to get up once again. He was helped up by the unseen foe and pinned in the air against the wall. To his horror he saw a pointed piece of broken wood aimed straight at his heart.

He saw his life flash before his eyes. Again. This was it. He was going to die again and this time it wasn't heroic or meaningful. He was just going to be dusted in a dark alley with Buffy unconscious on the ground next to him. That thought was interrupted when a newly conscious Buffy, whacked the invisible beast over the head with a piece of metal that had been lying by the dumpster.

Presumably, it keeled over as Spike dropped to the ground. She hurried over to where she perceived the monster to have fallen and brought the sharp metal down like a guillotine. They heard a high pitched scream, and suddenly a visible demon head rolled off to the side. The rest of the body became visible as well and Buffy grimaced.

"Eww. That is so gross." She cringed. Then she looked down at her clothes and saw green, iridescent blood all over her. "Crap! This is new!" She complained.

"Should have worn the slaying clothes, eh?" Spike asked her as he managed to pick himself up off the ground.

"These _were_ the slaying clothes. Kinda. But they were new slaying clothes. I bet this won't even come out with Spray and Wash. How am I gonna explain this to my dad?"

"I forgot you had a father now."

"I always had a father." She reminded him. "I just haven't seen him in five years."

"Yeah, I hear he's up for the Father of the Year award." Spike remarked mockingly.

"Can we just get out of here before any more invisible lurkers show up?"

"Good plan."

They hurried out of the alley, this time not impeded by anything. They found Buffy's car, and to her relief it was unharmed. They jumped inside and Buffy sped off hurriedly. She looked over at Spike.

"That was a new one. I've never seen anything like that before. Which of course makes sense since it was invisible. But that's not really the point." She rambled awkwardly. "Anyway, you alright?" She asked with concern.

"I'm fine. What about you? Anything damaged besides your outfit?"

She shook her head, "Nope. I'm good. A little bump on the head, no biggie."

"So are you sure you still want to be involved in this?" He questioned her.

"Let's see...We went walking in the ghetto, took in a game of demon Bingo, almost got killed by an invisible monster with very visible glow in the dark blood...Oddly enough, it's the best time I've had in six months." She smiled at him.

"You really are an odd bird." He shook his head.

"But that's why you love me." She said easily. Then her eyes grew wide and she looked at him uncomfortably. "I-I mean, _loved_ me. Past tense. I-I didn't mean...It's just a figure of speech."

"Buffy I still love you. You know that." He said quietly, as he looked away from her and out the window.

"You do?" She asked softly.

"Why would you think any different?" He wondered.

"I don't know."

She continued to look at him, wondering if she should tell him again how she felt...That she loved him. Was this the right time? Would there ever be a right time? He almost died again tonight, and if she said it now, she knew it might look like the only time she'd say it is in a life or death situation. She didn't want that. And she wanted to be sure that if she said it again, he believed it. Maybe now wasn't the best time. There were so many questions going through her head she couldn't think straight. Or drive straight, apparently.

"Buffy! Eyes on the road please!" Spike yelled as Buffy veered onto the sidewalk and hit a metal trash can.

"Shit! Oops! Sorry..." She said as she swerved back onto the road. Thankfully no on else was on the road with her.

"I realize my devastating good looks are mesmerizing, but you really should watch where you're going." He smirked at her with amusement.

"I wasn't looking at you I was just...never mind." She decided the best thing to do was just shut up and drive. If this had been the right time to tell him she loved him, it was over now. Her new trash can hood ornament could attest to that.

Spike wondered what was happening with her. Did she really want to pursue a real relationship with him now? Did he want that? Sure he loved her. He always would. But sometimes that wasn't enough. It was all so complicated. Right now, he knew the most important thing was finding out who put the price on his head. Romancing Buffy wasn't exactly a priority anymore. It couldn't be. After all, what good would it do either of them if he ended up dead again so soon?

"Where were you Spike?" Angel asked as Spike entered the lobby of the hotel.

"I was out. What's it to you?" Spike blew him off and attempted to walk up the stairs. Angel blocked his path.

"You can't just go out and not tell anyone where you went." Angel chastised him. "It's almost 2am."

"What are you? My bloody father? I was out. It's none of your business where I was." Spike was growing impatient.

"You can't just go gallivanting around town. What if you had a vision?"

"Then I suspect I'd pick up one of those handy new inventions called a telephone and call you." Spike said mockingly.

"You were with her, weren't you?" Angel asked, picking up Buffy's scent.

"Ah...So that's what this is about? You're right pissed because I was out with Buffy and didn't invite you along to be our third wheel." Spike was amused by Angel's jealousy.

"That's not why I'm pissed." Angel lied. "So you _were_ out with Buffy then?" He added in a small voice.

Spike sighed, "Look, we went out. It wasn't a date. It was business." He wasn't sure why he felt the need to clarify that. It was a lot more fun watching him squirm.

"Business? What sort of business?"

"_My_ business." Spike said firmly. "Now can I go upstairs? I'm knackered."

"Next time let someone know where you're going. Someone is trying to off you, remember? I thought maybe—"

"You thought someone did me in tonight?"

"You never know."

Spike looked at him curiously. He saw genuine concern in his eyes. It wasn't what Spike expected to see. Especially not after he'd worked it out in his own mind that Angel was somehow double-crossing him.

"You actually care if I live or die?" Spike asked in disbelief.

Angel shook his head, "No. I really don't. Makes no difference to me."

"Thanks." Spike added sarcastically.

"But Buffy does care. For some really unknown reason, she cares about you. I don't want her to hurt again." Angel explained uncomfortably.

"It's alright. I'm on top of it, so no worries mate." Spike said dismissively.

"I'm not your mate."

"Goodnight Angel." Spike said finally able to pass by him. He was anxious to be up the stairs and away from this conversation.

Angel called out after him, "You'd better not die, Spike. Or else—"

"Or else what?"

"Or else I'll kill you."

Spike looked at him with amusement.

"Metaphorically, I mean." Angel corrected. "Just be careful...For her sake."

"I will."

Spike attempted to go up the stairs once more, and Angel didn't stop him this time. But suddenly Spike turned around and faced him again.

"Something did come after me tonight." He revealed.

"What?"

"Buffy and I went looking for information and then got a little more than I bargained for."

"Why didn't you tell me you went looking for information?" Angel wanted to know.

"I didn't trust you." Spike said plainly.

"And now you do?"

Spike sighed and walked back down the steps and stood directly in front of Angel. He held up his hand to him revealing the reddish burn mark that was already beginning to fade.

"Does this mean anything to you?" He asked Angel.

"It's a heart. Symbolizes love." Angel said flatly.

"I know that you moron." Spike shook his head.

"Did Buffy do that? Cause that's a little weird." Angel was uneasy.

"No Buffy didn't do this. Cordelia did it."

"Cordelia? Great. So she's in love with you too? What am I? Invisible?" Angel ranted.

"Will you shut up? Cordelia paid me a visit last night in all her ghostly glory. She told me that this" He held his hand up again, "was a hint about who was after me."

"A heart is after you? Someone who loves you? Well there can't be too many of those running around. Maybe it's Drusilla?" Angel offered.

"Drusilla? No. She wouldn't send a hit squad after me. If she wanted me dead, she'd do it herself." Spike protested. "Whoever is behind this has money. A lot of money. There's a price on my head."

Angel looked closer at the burn on Spike's hand. A heart...Someone with a lot of money...

"Why are they looking to kill you?" He asked.

"The visions. Someone wants the visions obliterated for good."

"Damn it." Angel muttered. "Lilah. I should have known."

"Who?"

"Lilah Morgan. Ex-VIP of Wolfram and Hart."

"Hart? As in—"

"That heart on your hand. It means Wolfram and Hart."

"I thought _you_ owned Wolfram and Hart?"

"I did too. I should have known it was a trap. I'm so stupid." Angel scolded himself angrily.

"Well normally I'd agree with you there, but what exactly are you talking about? Why does this Lilah person want me dead?"

"It's a long story, Spike. Too long to get into now. But let's just say we have a history. It's not the first time she's come after the visions." Angel explained.

"Then what made you think she'd given up?"

"She's dead."

"Wait. A _dead_ woman is after me? What is it with this town? Does the word dead have a different meaning here? Does it mean, slightly less alive than before?"

"You and I both know that death isn't the end. Sometimes being dead makes a person more powerful than they ever were in life." Angel pointed out. Spike and he both only became powerful after their physical deaths.

Spike understood what he meant and nodded his head, "So what now? How do we get this dead bitch off my back?"

"I think have an idea."

Angel sat in his old office at the hotel. Everything was a stark contrast from what it had been months before. Instead of spending all his hours at Wolfram and Hart, he was back at the hotel most of the time. Everything had changed. Especially now that he realized he'd been duped by Lilah. Not that it surprised him. It didn't. But now he knew for sure that he couldn't trust anyone inside that building.

Wes walked into the office and released Angel from his thoughts.

"You wanted to see me?" He asked.

"Sit down Wes. We need to talk."

Wes sat down in the chair across from him, "What about?"

"How long have you known Lilah was the one trying to destroy the visions?" Angel asked calmly.

"I don't know what you mean." Wes shook his head.

"Don't try to lie to me. I know you've seen her. I know she's the one who handed you the spell to bring Spike back. I also know she was the one who tried to magically kill Spike during the vision transfer. I also seem to remember that you knew what was happening and told us to wake them up." Angel reminded him.

Wes leaned back in his chair, knowing he couldn't keep up the charade any longer.

"Alright, yes, I have seen her. I've known for awhile what she was up to." He admitted.

"And you didn't feel a need to let any of us in on that little secret?"

"What difference would it have made?"

"What difference would it have made? I don't know...maybe let us know what we were up against so we could figure out a way to stop it." Angel said angrily.

"I don't know that you _can_ stop it. You can't kill her. She's already dead. So your usual tactics at squashing foes won't work here." Wes reminded him.

"Well then I'll just have to kill her a little bit more. I can't believe you didn't tell me she was stabbing me in the back. Are you still sleeping with her, Wes? Is that what this is all about? Are you stabbing me in the back too?" Angel asked brimming with hostility.

"That's really rich coming from you, Angel. You're the one who sold your soul to the devil. You're the one who put every one of us in danger by signing that contract. What did she offer you, Angel? Money? What was so important to you that you'd risk everything for it?" Wes returned his hostility.

"I didn't put any of you in danger. I was the one who signed the contract, not you. I made sure of that." Angel told him seriously.

"Then you must have known that what you were signing was dangerous. If you tried to protect us, you knew there was something to protect us from."

"Maybe you're right." Angel conceded as he looked down at his feet. "I knew I couldn't trust Lilah, but some part of me just didn't care anymore."

"She said you were the one who gave up. I guess that was true after all."

"I can't tell you why I did it, Wes. But you'll just have to trust me when I say I had my reasons."

"You do realize that you've given up everything that you've stood for all these years? I find it hard to believe that _anything_ would have been worth that price."

"It _was_ worth it to me." And Angel still believed that. If he had to do it all over again, he likely would have done the same thing. Even knowing that Lilah lied to him about who controlled the office. Connor's happiness was still the most important thing.

"What are you planning to do about Lilah?" Wes asked softly.

"I'm not so sure I should tell you. How do I know you won't run off and let her in on it?"

"I have no loyalties to Lilah."

"You didn't tell me what you knew, so I'm not sure right now _where_ your loyalties lie."

"Fair enough." Wes admitted. "But maybe this will clarify my position to you. You want to stop her and Wolfram and Hart?"

"Of course."

"Well, I think I've found a way how."

Gunn stood before Lilah in her secret office. Only a privileged few knew the exact location of it. Gunn hadn't been one of them. But he had been imbued with the power of a panther. He was an expert hunter and his senses were heightened far above the level of an ordinary human. It was that sense that had led him to Lilah's office. Nothing and no one could hide from him.

Lilah had been surprised to see him waiting for her when she had arrived.

"How did you find me?" She asked startled.

"How do you think?"

"Ah, yes. The instincts of a predator. Handy, isn't it?" She smiled as she sat down behind her desk and tried to remain cool. "Did Wes send you?"

"Wes? No. I'm here all on my own." He said calmly.

"Interesting. I thought for sure he had sent you."

"Haven't seen the dude in days." Gunn shrugged.

"That's true. You haven't been around here much lately." She had noted his absence on the surveillance tapes.

"I've kinda got my own thing going now." He told her.

"I'm sure you do. But let's cut the chit chat. Why are you in my office?"

"I hear there's a bounty out there on a certain vampire with visions."

"Where did you hear that?" She wondered.

"Around town. There's been talk."

Lilah laughed, "There's always talk. That doesn't make it true. In fact, I have no idea what you're referring to. But it is interesting."

"Cut the crap. How much money are we talking?" Gunn said seriously.

Lilah stared at him. He seemed dead serious and more than a little intimidating standing there like a marble statue. He was a loose cannon. He always had been. Lilah suspected all along that he'd be the easiest to corrupt. But she never expected it so soon, or for him to seek her out like this.

"A hundred thousand dollars." Lilah informed him calmly.

"A hundred thou? That's it? Forget it." Gunn turned around and began to leave the room.

She stopped him, "A hundred thousand to _kill_ him. A half a million dollars if you manage to capture him and bring him to me for...let's just call it 'research purposes'."

"Now you're talking." He said with interest.

"Think you can do that?"

"It's as good as done." Gunn said confidently.

"Okay, next question...Why are you doing this?" She asked with curiosity.

"Why not? Money is money. And it's just a vampire. Not like the world needs another one of those." He shrugged.

"You _really_ hold a grudge against vampires, don't you?"

"Can you blame me?"

"No, I suppose your poor sister is reason enough for you to get a little cranky around the undead." She conceded. "But what about Angel? You managed to put aside your grudge and help him for years."

"Angel was doing something good. At the time I wanted to do something good too. But that don't mean I like him."

"Really? I was under the impression you two were pretty cozy. In a friendship way at least. Not that I'm implying you two played footsie under the desk. Although that's an interesting visual." She was amused with herself.

"I don't trust Angel and I don't like him. He may be a cool guy sometimes, but at the end of it all he's still a vampire." He told her. "We may have had a working relationship for awhile, but I don't need him anymore. I've got bigger things going on now."

"So Angel has outgrown his usefulness to you?"

"Look, I spent years fighting vamps in back alleys. I thought I was doing something great. But at the end of a night, I hadn't even made a dent in the scales. You can't win a fight like this. I know that now. So I say if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. At least this time I get a little something in return."

"So you're going to betray Angel strictly for the money?"

"Is there something wrong with that?" He asked calmly.

"No. Not at all. For what it's worth, I think you're making the right choice." She smiled at him.

"It ain't the _right_ choice. But I gotta think about number one, you know?"

"Exactly. I have a few other people working on this special project for me. But I don't have much faith they'll be able to deliver. But I have a feeling you won't let me down." She smiled at him.

Willow sat at the table with a stack of books all around her. She was feeling overwhelmed.

"I'm not sure I can do this." She complained to Angel.

"Yes, you can. I have confidence in you."

"This isn't something I've ever done before. I-I'm not even sure it can be done."

"You've managed to restore my soul more than once, even way back when you were a novice. And since then you've managed to win a battle against an untold evil, and imbue all the potential Slayers of the world with power. This is nothing compared to any of that."

"I-I guess...But it's just that you didn't feel what I felt when Spike and I exchanged the visions. Whatever came after us was _pure_ evil. Even coming up against the First didn't feel quite like that."

"The Senior Partners are the embodiment of evil, Willow. And since there are presumably more than one of them, that makes them even more powerful than the First. And they aren't content to idly sit by and taunt people to death. They can actually do it." He said seriously.

"But if killing the entire firm and severing their link to the Partners didn't work when the Beast tried it, what makes you think I can do anything different?"

"Because I have faith in you."

"So do I." Buffy said as she stood at the edge of the doorway.

"Buffy, hey." Willow smiled.

She walked into the office and peered down at all the books and papers spread out before Willow.

"Looks like a lot of work." She remarked.

"It is. I was just telling Angel—"

"That you didn't think you could do it. I heard. But Angel's right. You _can_ do this. You just have to believe that you can."

"You know about this?" Angel asked curious how Buffy knew their plans.

"Spike filled me in."

"Of course. Good ole Spike." Angel said bitterly.

Buffy ignored his bitterness and looked over at Willow again, "Do we have a time frame for this little plan?"

Willow shook her head, "No. Not yet. I-I need a day or two to figure out which one of these texts I can use. Wes wasn't sure which volume had what we were looking for. It's a lot of research."

"Maybe Dawn could help?" Buffy offered.

"Do you think that's such a good idea, Buffy?" Angel asked with concern.

"Why not? Dawn's a big girl. Plus she's very smart. And you guys could use the help." Buffy remarked.

"Buffy's right. Dawn actually reads Sumerian, and frankly I suck at it."

"I'll call her."

Angel pointed Buffy towards the filing cabinet where the telephone resided. She picked it up and dialed her number.

"Dad? Is Dawn around?" She asked into the phone.

"No, Sweetie, she's out with that young man of hers. What's his name? Steve?" Hank replied.

"Did she take her cell phone?"

"Of course! A seventeen year old girl doesn't go anywhere without her cell phone." Hank chuckled.

"Thanks Dad, I'll try her cell. Bye." Buffy hung up the phone and looked at Angel and Willow. "She's out with her new boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? Dawnie's got a boyfriend? Aww! That's so cute!" Willow exclaimed.

"Isn't she a little young to have a boyfriend?" Angel asked protectively.

"She's seventeen Angel. Remember what we were doing when I was seventeen?" She raised her eyebrow.

"Good point. But look where that left us?" He warned her.

"Well, don't worry. Steve's not a 246 year old vampire and I'm pretty sure his soul isn't going anywhere." Buffy said dismissively. "He's really nothing at all like you, Angel. Trust me."

"Well you can't be too careful. Are you sure he's alive? Did you see a reflection?" Angel asked.

Buffy laughed at him, "You're too much. You're worse than me." Buffy dialed Dawn's cell phone and waited for her to pick up. "Hey Dawn, it's me. Where are you?"

"Um right now we're driving down Santa Monica Boulevard. Why?" She asked.

"Well, I was wondering if you'd stop by the Hyperion and help Willow out with some research." Buffy asked tentatively.

"I'm kinda on a date, Buffy." Dawn whispered into the phone.

"I know. But you can bring him. I'm sure Willow would love to meet him. We just need someone who can read a little Sumerian. Willow's kinda stuck. It won't take long."

"Sumerian? You're asking me to pop over to the hotel to translate Sumerian for you guys? That could take hours." Dawn griped.

"_What_ does she want you to do?" Steve asked as he overheard Dawn's conversation.

"Hang on sec." Dawn covered the phone with her hand so Buffy couldn't hear. "Buffy wants me to stop by some hotel called the Hyperion to translate something for her."

"Sumerian? You actually read Sumerian?" He asked incredulously.

Dawn shrugged, "I was bored one summer." She told him. "But it's not like I'm fluent or anything."

"You're amazing you know that?" Steve smiled at her.

"Do you know where the hotel is? Would you mind dropping me off there?" Dawn asked in a small voice.

"Sure, no problem. It's just a few streets over. I didn't realize it was still a hotel though."

"It's not really. It's Angel's place. He lives there."

Steve's heart began pounding loudly in his ears with the mention of Angel. Part of him was dying to see him again, if only to get answers as to why he was haunting his dreams. But another part of him feared learning what the reasons might be. He a feeling that whatever connection he had to Angel, it wasn't going to be good.

"Tell your sister we're on our way." Steve said calmly.

Dawn removed her hand from the mouthpiece and raised the phone back to her ear.

"You still there Buffy?"

"Of course. Could you possibly take longer to give me an answer?" Buffy asked acerbically.

"We're on our way." Dawn said quickly, then she hung up the phone.

"She's on her way." Buffy informed Angel and Willow.

"She's bringing the boyfriend with her?" Angel asked not certain that was a good plan.

"He's the one driving, so yeah. I figured Dawn would want to introduce him to everyone." Buffy shrugged. "It's okay. He knows about vampires and what we do here. He's okay with it." Buffy explained.

"He _knows_? How does he know?"

"You actually saved his life, I think. Remember a few weeks ago? A boy with floppy hair in an alley behind a nightclub?" Buffy recanted the story to him.

Angel felt like the floor was falling away from him and suddenly Buffy's voice was nothing but an echo in his head. Connor was coming here. With Dawn. He was Dawn's new boyfriend. This was all too much for him to comprehend.

"Angel? Hello? Are you okay?" Buffy asked with concern at his paler than usual appearance.

He looked at her and shook his head, "He shouldn't come here. Call Dawn back and tell her not to bring him here."

"What? Why? I told you he was okay with all this. In fact he might even want to help himself. He's a nice kid. Very gallant. Kinda like you in that respect. In fact he was all overprotective of Dawn and I the night we met him. He warned us about the vampires in the alley. Which is really cute and all considering I'm the Slayer." Buffy rambled on with a laugh.

"I don't care. I don't want him coming here. Call her back." Angel said firmly.

"What's wrong with you?" Buffy asked with surprise at his change in attitude.

"Nothing is wrong with me. I just don't think it's a smart idea to involve an outsider in this business. It could be dangerous."

"What could be dangerous?" Spike asked as he stepped into the room.

"Angel doesn't want Dawn to bring her boyfriend here." Buffy informed him.

"Dawn has a boyfriend? Isn't she a little young?" Spike wondered.

"That's what I said." Angel nodded his head.

"My god! What is it with you two? Overprotective much?" Buffy exclaimed. "She's a big girl. If anyone is gonna be all psycho-protective, it's me. And trust me when I say this guy is totally harmless."

"Well that's all great. And I'm very happy for Dawn. But that's all the more reason not to get him involved in this. Dawn either." Angel told her.

"Maybe he's right, Buffy?" Willow chimed in.

She sighed, "Fine. I'll call her back and tell her not to come."

Just as Buffy picked up the phone, they all heard the doors in the main lobby shut loudly, announcing someone had arrived.

"Buffy? We're here!" Dawn called out, unsure of where exactly in the hotel they were.

Angel began to panic, and he almost swore he was sweating. Even though vampires didn't sweat. He thought about making a run for it, or diving under the desk to avoid seeing Connor again. But he didn't want to make a spectacle of himself. He'd just settle for standing in the corner behind a coat rack pretending to be deeply engrossed in a book.

"We're back here!" Buffy called out to her.

"Hey, there you guys are. Hey Willow." Dawn smiled as she and Steve walked into the office. She went over and hugged her.

"Hey Dawn. It's so good to see you again! How're you?" Willow asked with a smile.

"I'm good." She grinned. "Everyone this is Steve. Steve this is everyone." She waved her hand in a sweeping motion across the room.

"Hey." Steve said with a grin and a half wave.

Dawn then noticed Spike standing behind Buffy. It was the first time she'd actually seen him since he got back. "Spike. You really aren't all dead and stuff anymore. Well, at least not dusty dead. I guess technically you're still dead, being a vampire." She rambled awkwardly. "Okay shutting up now."

"He's a vampire too?" Steve whispered into Dawn's ear.

"Yeah, but he's cool. He's got a soul too." She told him.

Steve nodded and looked at him. "You're the one who saved my life that night. I never really got a chance to thank you." He extended his hand to Spike politely.

Spike was taken off guard. No one had ever offered their hand to him in thanks before. He reluctantly reached out and shook Steve's hand quickly.

"It wasn't a big deal." He brushed off the importance of what he had done.

"It was to me. So thank you." Steve said firmly.

Buffy suddenly realized that it hadn't been Wes who saved Steve that night, it was Spike. He had been just outside that nightclub all that time and she hadn't even known he was alive.

"Where's the other guy? Angel?" Steve asked looking around.

"He's—" Buffy pointed to an empty spot where Angel had once stood. Her eyes scanned the small room and saw Angel standing in the corner behind a coat rack with his back to the room. He looked ridiculous and she had to laugh. "Apparently he's shy today." She said pointing in his direction.

Angel realized that he hadn't completely blended into the woodwork and would now have to face Connor again. He just had to remain cool. Connor didn't know him. He was sure of that. There was no reason to worry.

"Sorry, I was just reading this important piece of information. It could be the key to our entire plan." Angel said coming out of the corner holding his book in his hands.

"That's the dictionary, Angel." Buffy pointed out trying not to laugh.

Angel hadn't looked at the book when he grabbed it. He assumed it was one of the magical texts. He played it off as best he could.

"Yes, you're right. It is a dictionary. But I was looking up some very important words. I'll have you know that you can't very well have a plan if you don't know what words mean." He said trying to save face.

"Whatever." Buffy rolled her eyes. "This is Steve. Remember him?" She asked as she attempted to introduce him.

"No, can't say that I do. He doesn't look familiar to me at all." Angel said crossing his arms.

"He's the boy from the nightclub, you ninny. Remember? Painful vision? Angelmobile?" Spike pointed out, also recalling Angel's strange demeanor after that little crusade. It was a little like he was acting right now.

"Oh, right. Yeah, I remember. I save so many people, they kind of blur together." Angel lied casually.

"Five minutes ago you seemed to remember him." Buffy reminded him.

"I have some stuff to do. If you'll excuse me." Angel ignored Buffy's comments and tossed the dictionary to the desk. He left the room quickly and intended to go upstairs and not come out until Connor was gone.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Buffy asked no one in particular. "He's not usually that annoying." She told Steve.

"Yes, he is." Spike added.

"Shut up Spike." Dawn, Buffy and Willow all said in unison.

"Um, it's alright. He seems like he just doesn't like visitors much."

Steve tried to rationalize it. But deep down he knew there was something about this Angel guy that wasn't exactly right. Steve recognized him from dreams and knew way more about him than he should have. And judging by the way Angel acted towards him today; he was willing to bet that Angel recognized him too. What if he were having the dreams too? What if he was somehow meant to meet Angel and help him fight the good fight? Or maybe there was something more sinister going on here. Most of the dreams had been very violent. Not at all hints of a greater purpose in life. But he wouldn't be satisfied until he knew for sure what their connection was.

"No he doesn't like visitors. Angel is really protective of his fortress of solitude." Spike pointed out.

"It's cool. Sometimes I don't feel like socializing either." Steve smiled at them. "Hey, is there a bathroom here?" He asked Buffy.

"I'm sure there is. It's a hotel right?" She shrugged.

"I'm sorry; I just assumed you'd know where. I thought maybe you lived here with Angel. I figured you guys were back together or something."

"Back together? Like hell. That was over years ago. Years and years." Spike scoffed unwilling to even entertain the thought of Buffy and Angel together again.

Steve looked at him curiously.

"Don't mind Spike. He's just being a jealous idiot." Buffy said half jokingly.

Steve looked confused and Dawn whispered to him, "She used to date Spike too. So Angel and Spike kinda hate each other with a fiery vengeance."

"She dated two vampires?"

"Uh-huh."

"And she's a vampire Slayer?"

"Yup."

Steve shook his head, "Okay...trying to make sense of it all." He muttered.

"There's a bathroom upstairs on the left, by the way. Two doors down." Willow interrupted, sensing Steve might be on information overload.

He looked at Willow and smiled, "Thanks. I'll be right back."

He walked out of the office and took a deep breath. He didn't have to use the bathroom. He merely wanted to find Angel and talk to him alone. Away from everyone else. He thought he may be more open to speaking to him if no one else was around.

He made his way up the stairs and instead of turning left, he paused a moment. What was he feeling? He could sense something. There were tingles running up his spine, and suddenly an unfamiliar scent wafted through his nostrils. Vampire. Steve had no idea how he knew that. Until a few weeks ago, he didn't even know vampires existed at all. But he definitely felt something. He felt Angel. He was close by. He turned right and headed down that hallway.

He let his senses lead him right to Angel's door. He was about to knock, but something told him not to bother. Angel wouldn't let him in if he asked politely. He opened the door and saw Angel standing in the middle of the room. It was as if he sensed Steve too. He appeared to be waiting for him.

"I thought you might follow me." Angel said despondently.

"Do we know each other?" Steve asked, not even bothering to apologize for his rudeness at entering Angel's room uninvited.

Angel knew he couldn't run from this confrontation anymore. He suspected Connor would come after him. Their connection was deeper than any magic that had been used to cover up his existence. At the end of it all he was still Angel's son, whether anyone else was aware of it or not.

Finally after a long pause, Angel spoke, "What makes you think we know each other?"

"I don't know. Maybe because you seem to recognize me."

"I don't. I've never seen you before. Except for that night in the alley." Angel said calmly.

"I recognize you though." Steve informed him.

Angel felt a dull ache in the pit of his stomach. "I don't see how you could recognize me. I guess I just have one of those faces." He shrugged.

"If that's the case then why are you hiding from me?"

Angel laughed, "Hiding from you? Can't a guy come up to his room for a little peace and quiet?"

"Right. Just like you were so engrossed in that dictionary? I'm not stupid. You were avoiding me, and I'm not leaving here until you tell me why." Steve said with a firm resolve he didn't even know he had.

"You're awfully pushy."

"I get it from my father." Steve told him.

"I'm not pushy." Angel reacted defensively. Then he realized his mistake. "I mean, I'm not being pushy with you, so why don't you lay off me? We don't know each other."

Steve stared at him. He could feel memories flooding back to him, but they weren't his memories. They couldn't be. Everything felt foreign to him.

_I'm your father, Connor. I love you. Nothing can change that..._He heard Angel's voice echoing in his head.

"Who's Connor?" He asked with a soft voice.

"I don't know." Angel lied as his hands began to tremble slightly.

Another name came crashing into Steve's memory. It hit him like a fifty pound weight and he nearly felt he may topple over.

"Who's Holtz?" He whispered softly, trying to keep his composure. "Is he my father?"

Oh god...Angel felt like he was dying all over again. Connor was remembering everything. This wasn't supposed to happen! Lilah promised Angel that Connor would be reborn into the perfect existence. She promised that he'd never know any different. That he'd never remember his old life full of pain and torment.

Angel didn't respond to Steve's questions. He couldn't. He was paralyzed.

Steve wiped a lone tear out of his eye and shook his head.

"No, Holtz isn't my father. I remember now. You're my father." He said with perfect clarity for the first time since the dreams began. "Holtz lied to me just the way you're lying to me now. You pretend you don't know me, but you do. I'm your son, aren't I?" Steve was beginning to lose control and Angel still couldn't respond. "Answer me! Am I your son?"

"Yes! Yes...You are my son. You were never supposed to know—"

"The truth? I was never supposed to know the truth?"

Steve was becoming hysterical now. Memories began to swarm his head as if he'd known the truth all along. And maybe he had? Maybe he had always known his life was a lie, but he refused to acknowledge it? It had been easier to believe the lie than to confront the truth. Especially when the truth was as horrifying as he was realizing now.

"Connor, I did this for you. So you could have a happy life. I couldn't give you that. I tried to fix things." Angel pleaded with him to understand.

"You didn't try to fix things, you tried to fix me. I wasn't the son you always wanted. I wasn't perfect and you hated that. All I ever did was remind you of what a failure you were as a father. That's why you shipped me off and made everyone forget me. You made me forget who I was. God...you made me forget everything that was real just so you didn't feel guilty for screwing up my life!"

"You screwed up your life on your own. I tried to help you, but you didn't want my help. I had no other choice."

"You had no other choice? All those times I wished you would just disappear but I didn't do anything about it. I didn't make everyone forget you ever existed."

"No, you just locked me in a box and dropped me to the bottom of the ocean." Angel pointed out bitterly.

"And you think what you did to me now is any better than that? At least the people who cared about you remembered you existed. They came after you. They saved you. No one even missed me. You made sure of that. Not that any of you gave a damn about me anyway."

"That's not true. I loved you. I still do." Angel said attempting to move closer to him. "Everything I did, I did for you."

"All I ever wanted was to have a place where I belonged. And you destroyed everything with your lies."

"I gave you a place where you belonged. It wasn't enough. You were self destructing I couldn't do a damn thing about it."

"So you manufactured a fake life for me? Tried to make me think I belonged with those people? Those people aren't my family...They don't even know me! My god...it's all a lie. All of it!" He attempted to flee the room and Angel grabbed his arm.

"Don't touch me! Stay away from me! Just stay the hell away from me!"

He wrenched his arm free and turned to run out of the room. Angel ran after him. He followed him down the hallway and chased after him down the stairs.

"Connor! Don't run away from me! Let me explain!"

"Leave me the hell alone! I hate you!" Connor cried as he ran for the door, desperate to outrun the memories of the life he had once forgotten.

Everyone rushed out of the office when they heard the shouting.

"What's going on? Steve?" Dawn asked as she saw him running out the door.

He never looked back and disappeared from the hotel lobby. Angel stood at the bottom of the stairs transfixed by the door swinging shut, leading Connor back out into the daylight where Angel couldn't follow.

"What the hell just happened? What did you do to Steve?" Dawn asked with concern and anger for something she didn't understand.

"I knew you were being overprotective of Dawn, but did you really have to chase the kid out of the hotel?" Buffy asked, shocked by Angel's behavior.

Angel didn't answer their questions. He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that the game was up. Connor knew everything. Everything he had sacrificed was for nothing. He'd signed away everything for Connor's happiness and in the blink of an eye, it was all over. He'd lost everything, including his son, all over again.

"I'm going after Steve." Dawn said realizing Angel was not going to answer her.

"Don't. Let him go." Angel said finally.

"What? I'm sorry, but you can't tell me what to do." Dawn said angrily. "Steve is my boyfriend and if you've scared him away I'll never forgive you."

"His name isn't Steve. It's Connor." Angel told them blankly.

"What?" Buffy was confused.

"How do you know what his name is?" Dawn whispered, feeling like she'd been hit by a tidal wave. She knew in the pit of her stomach Steve was too good to be true. "Is he evil?" She asked in a small voice.

Angel shook his head, "No. He's my son."


	5. All You Need Is Love

**Disclaimer:** I own none of the characters here. I merely use them for my own enjoyment. Please don't sue.

**Author's Note:** This is the fifth part of my series **Fortune Favors The Brave**. It's titled **All You Need Is Love.**

**Summary:** Angel must confront his mistakes regarding his son, while Dawn tries to help Connor through a difficult time. Buffy and Spike explore their relationship, but will a possible traitor in the mix ruin everything for their future?

**Rating:** PG-13

**::Fortune Favors The Brave::**

**All You Need Is Love**

Everyone stood perfectly still in a state of complete shock. At first Buffy thought it was a joke when Angel said Steve; or rather Connor, was his son. But the look of devastation on his face told her that it wasn't a prank. It was real. Somehow it was real.

"Angel, how could that be? You have a son?" Buffy asked in disbelief.

"No one was supposed to know about this." Angel said despairingly.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but vampires don't have children, right?" Willow asked with confusion.

"You're damn right they don't." Spike agreed. "Otherwise Buffy and I—never mind." Spike thought better of finishing that sentence. He was about to say 'Otherwise Buffy and I would have been in trouble with all the shagging we did', but now wasn't a time to bring that up.

Angel pretended he didn't hear Spike implying that Buffy and he had sex. That was a visual he didn't need right now. Especially not after what had just happened. He looked at them all and shook his head.

"It wasn't planned, obviously. But it did happen. Some kind of miracle, I guess." Angel attempted an explanation.

"Who's his mom?" Dawn asked quietly. It seemed like a logical question.

Willow and Spike glanced in Buffy's direction. She saw this and shook her head.

"Don't look at me! He's not my kid. He's only a few years younger than me!" She protested.

"I-I know he's not yours...but you were the last person to...well, you know. With Angel." Willow said carefully.

"Well, obviously I wasn't the _only_ one to 'you know' with him." Buffy pointed out rationally, and then looked at Angel. "So who was it?"

"Darla."

"Who?" Buffy was confused.

"What? Darla? When were you with Darla eighteen years ago?" Spike was flummoxed.

"I wasn't with Darla eighteen years ago. It was about three years ago."

"Wait. Darla? As in the vampire that you dusted when I first met you? The same Darla who tried to eat my mother?"

"That's her. Look it's a long story. It happened once, and it meant nothing. I didn't even lose my soul." Angel informed them.

"Well, that's comforting." Buffy said sarcastically. "But if this happened three years ago, why is Connor all old and stuff. He doesn't look much like a toddler."

"He's not. He was taken from me when he was just a baby. He grew up in a place called Quortoth. It's a hell dimension. Time moves differently there." Angel explained. "He was only gone a short time, but when he came back, he was all grown up. And he hated me. A lot."

"Is he human? I mean, you and Darla were vampires." Dawn wanted to know.

Angel nodded his head, "Yeah, he is. At least partly. He has strength and speed like I do, but he's not like me. He's not a vampire. He's very much alive."

"I still don't get it. How come no one knew? How come he was calling himself Steve? Did he have amnesia?" Dawn asked seriously.

"Not exactly. It was a spell. The last few days of his life with me were terrible. He was completely out of control with rage. He was losing it. I was worried he'd never be able to get back even a little part of himself. And I felt responsible for his pain."

"So you just got rid of it all with a spell?" Dawn asked.

"Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do." Angel shook his head.

"You think? How could you do something like that?" Dawn was angry.

"People do all kinds of stupid things when someone they love is hurting." Willow said softly. She'd been there herself. More than once. There was a time when the whole 'memory wipe' spell was her area of expertise.

"I just wanted his pain to stop and for him to have a normal life. With real parents who loved him and could give him what I never could." Angel said sadly. "I'm a vampire, Darla was a vampire...We weren't parents. She killed herself when he was born. She knew she'd never be able to be a mother without hurting him. I was stupid, because I thought I was different. I fooled myself into thinking I could give him a happy home...but I was wrong."

Buffy saw how upset he was, and she felt his pain. She went over to him and touched him on the arm.

"I'm sure you did your best, Angel." She said comfortingly.

"I didn't. I was a complete failure. I let him be taken from me. I destroyed everything for him by letting him go. Then when he came back I tried to make up for all the years I missed, but it was too late. He already hated me. And who could blame him? He grew up in Hell because of me." Angel was bitter and angry with himself.

Buffy didn't really know what to say. She wasn't prepared for a conversation like this at all. Not with Angel especially. She still couldn't believe he had a son. It was unreal.

"The fact of the matter is that you screwed up Angel." Spike said plainly. Buffy glared at him, but he ignored it and walked closer to Angel. "But that's what parents do." He clarified.

"Not all parents." Angel shook his head.

"Bollocks. All parents make mistakes. Mine did. And I know you hated your father with a vengeance. Mine walked out on my mum when I was just a boy. Ask anyone in this room and they'll tell you that their parents made all kinds of mistakes, and we all turned out okay." Spike assured him. "Well, maybe not me. But everyone else turned out okay." He added.

"So what are you saying? I should just shrug it off and say 'Oh well, we all make mistakes. Get over the life in Hell I gave you Connor and give me a hug'?" Angel asked mockingly.

Spike shook his head, "No. I'm merely saying you're not the only one at fault. If the boy's life was spiraling out of control that was just as much his doing as it was yours."

Angel had no idea why he was even listening to Spike at all. Spike was the last person he wanted advice from. But something inside of him felt that maybe he had a point. A very small point, but a point none the less.

"Maybe you should go find him?" Willow offered softly.

"No. I can't. It'll just make it worse. He doesn't want to see me."

"But maybe you should try?" Buffy wondered.

"I'll find him. I know where he lives." Dawn said quietly. "Can I borrow the Jeep Buffy?"

Buffy was about to protest. Dawn had only recently gotten her drivers license, and Buffy was overprotective of her car. But this wasn't a time to argue with her.

Buffy nodded, "Yeah, go ahead. I'll get a ride a home later." She handed over her car keys to Dawn.

"Will you call me? If you find him...just to let me know if he's alright?" Angel asked.

Dawn looked away from him, still feeling angry with what she had just learned.

"Dawn?" Buffy tried to get her to answer.

"Do you really expect him to be alright?" Dawn asked Angel pointedly.

"No...But—"

"I'll call if I can, okay?" She said finally.

"Thanks."

"Yeah... I'll see you guys later."

Dawn drove slowly towards the UCLA campus. She knew Steve had a dorm there. Connor...not Steve. She had to remind herself. She pulled up into the visitor's parking lot and made her way over to his dorm. She didn't know if he'd even be here. She knew he could have gone anywhere really. But she just had a feeling he had come back here.

She walked up the steps of the dormitory and found his door. She knocked softly and waited.

"Steve? Are you in there?" She called out.

She didn't hear any footsteps or any indication that he was inside. But instead of leaving she decided to open the door. She peered inside and saw him sitting on his bed staring at a photograph of some sort. He didn't look up when she entered the room.

"Steve?"

"My name isn't Steve." He said flatly.

"I-I know. It's Connor. Is that what you want me to call you now?" She asked quietly.

"Makes no difference. I don't even know who I am, so why should it matter what anyone calls me?" He said bitterly.

She walked over to him and sat down on the edge of the bed. She glanced at the photo he was holding and saw that it was a picture of his family. He saw her looking and he tossed the photo into the trash can.

"It's not real anyway. None of this is real." He told her.

"That's not true. I'm real. And I'm here."

"You don't even know me, Dawn. You should just get out of here. I'm not who you thought I was."

"You still seem like the same person to me."

"I'm not. Can't you understand that? I'm not Steve the average college kid who drives a Honda and talks to his mother every weekend so she doesn't miss me too much. I'm Connor. The bastard child of two vampires. I'm nothing." He said resentfully.

"Just because your real family isn't what you thought it was, doesn't mean you're nothing. You're something and someone." She said seriously.

"No offense Dawn, I appreciate you trying to make this better but you can't possibly have any idea what I'm going through right now."

"Wanna bet?"

"Well, did you ever find out that the people you thought were your parents were nothing but an illusion? And that they never really knew you at all, but they _thought_ they did, because a spell gave everyone fake memories of you? And then suddenly you realize that your entire life as you remember it was complete lie?"

Dawn looked at him, "Oddly enough, yeah. I get that."

"What?"

"It's kind of a long story, but I'm not who you think I am either." She explained. "I'm not just Dawn Summers average high school senior. Buffy's not really my sister. And my dad? He's really not my dad either."

"Wait, were you adopted? Because that's really not the same thing." He said dismissively.

She shook her head, "No, I wasn't adopted. About three and half years ago I was sent here. These monks were protecting some big ball of energy or something. Well, they turned that energy into me. I just showed up one day at Buffy's house and everyone thought I'd always been there. _I_ thought I'd always been there. Everyone had fake memories of me."

"You're joking right? I mean, you're trying to make my insane existence seem a little better aren't you?"

"I'm not joking. That really happened. And to top it all off, this hellgod named Glory wanted to bleed me to open some portal to Hell. Turns out that the only thing I was really good for was ending the world." She remembered sadly.

Connor had to sit a moment and absorb this information. She was telling the truth. And it seemed completely unreal that when she said she understood, she really meant that.

"So what I'm saying is; I get it. You're mega pissed and hurt, and you should be. When I found out that my life wasn't real; that _I_ wasn't real, I freaked out. Big time. I actually cut myself." She added softly.

"You did?"

She nodded her head silently.

"When I ran out of that hotel today, I almost threw myself in front of a bus. I thought maybe then the pain would stop." He confessed.

"But you didn't do it." She reminded him.

"Not because I didn't want to."

"Then why?"

He looked down at his hands and began fidgeting nervously.

"I don't know why. I guess some part of me still had hope that I'd wake up from this and it'd all be just a bad dream. I wasn't ready to give up just yet."

"Angel does love you." She told him gently.

"No he doesn't. He just wanted me gone so he wouldn't have to see me mess up. And I _was_ messing up Dawn. _Really_ messing up. I wasn't the son he wanted so he made me disappear."

"I don't really think that's why. He feels guilty. He feels responsible for your pain."

"Well, he should! He's the one who caused most of it. God...I hate him." He said miserably.

"Sometimes I hate my dad too." Dawn offered.

"Why would you hate him? He seems to give you everything you ever wanted. A big house, nice clothes... love. He gives you love."

"It wasn't always that way. In fact up until a few months ago when we came to live with him, I hadn't even seen him before. I-I mean, for real. I had memories of him being my dad when I was little, but in reality the first time I ever met him was only when I came here. He abandoned us. He didn't even come back to take care of us when my mom died."

"He didn't? That's awful. What an asshole." Connor was bitter on behalf of Dawn.

"Yeah. He was an asshole. But I still gave him a chance. Maybe he wasn't there when I was going through all this important life stuff. But he's here now, and that's all I can let myself think of. People can't really make up for every past mistake they made. Sometimes sorry just isn't enough. And maybe you never will forget the pain he caused you. But you have to _forgive _and move on."

"But how do you do that? How do you let go of something so painful?" He wanted to know.

"I-I don't know. You just do it. And just because the people you thought were your parents aren't really, don't hold that against them. They don't know any better. And they still love you like you were their own."

"Is that how it was with your family? Even after they knew their memories were false?"

"My dad still doesn't know. But my mom loved me the same way she always did. And Buffy _is_ my sister now. Even if it started as a lie, it's true now." She told him. "And you have something that I really don't have. That I won't ever have. And that's a _real_ parent. You have Angel. I'm just a freak with no real parents at all."

"You're not a freak. I don't care where you come from." He assured her softly.

"Yeah? Well, I don't care where you come from either. You may be Connor, bastard son of two vampires, but you're still the same guy I was crazy about." She said as she touched his arm gently.

He smiled slightly, "Crazy about me? Really?"

"Really."

She leaned over and kissed him softly, and for that moment, Connor felt alive for the very first time. He thought he could never feel anything real, but he was wrong. He felt something with Dawn. She didn't want anything from him; she merely wanted _him_. Faults and all. She wasn't judging him, or expecting him to be something he wasn't. She was honest and genuine, and for the first time ever, Connor felt love growing in his heart for someone. And for right now at least, that love was enough to keep him going.

Spike had been the one that offered to take Buffy home after the strangeness that was today. He pulled around a corner and Buffy motioned for him to turn left up ahead.

"It's right over there." She told him.

Spike saw rows of enormous mansions with gated fences and immaculate landscaping.

"You live in Bel Air?" He asked with amazement.

"It's all very 90210 isn't it?" She laughed. "Turns out Dad is really, really rich."

"Nice of him to share that wealth with you all these years." Spike remarked snidely.

"Don't remind me, cause then I'll get all bitter and angry again." Buffy sighed.

She pointed out her house and Spike turned right into the driveway. It was one of the only houses that didn't have a security gate around it. He put the car into park but left it running.

"Aren't you getting out?" She asked.

"No, I wasn't planning on it."

"Oh. I-I thought maybe you would stay for awhile."

"To what? Meet dear old Dad? Not sure I want to." He told her.

"Relax, he's not here. He always goes to the Country Club on Saturday nights."

"Really?"

"No, I'm lying. Of course really. Now get out of the car. I need to give you the grand tour of the Summer's castle." She smiled at him.

He turned the ignition off and got out, following Buffy up the stone walkway. She unlocked the door and went inside. Spike stood out on the porch and waited. She tossed her house keys onto a table in the foyer, and disappeared around the corner.

"Buffy? Aren't you forgetting something?" He called out after her.

She appeared in the entry way again, "Oops. Come in Spike."

He stepped over the threshold and shook his head.

"Sorry. I forgot. I mean, you and I were kinda living together a few months ago. I-I didn't really remember I had to invite you in." She explained.

Spike looked up at the vaulted ceiling and the ornate chandelier that hung above him. Then his eyes went to the marble flooring.

"This place is ridiculously expensive, isn't it?" He remarked.

"Makes my old house seem like a hovel, doesn't it?"

"I liked your old house. It suited you much better than this extravagant palace."

"Well, I can't say I'm complaining about living here. It's got a swimming pool and everything. Oh, and a maid. She comes twice a week. Her name is Rosa." She told him excitedly.

"A maid, huh? Can I live in your basement again?" He asked with a smirk.

"We don't have a basement here. But you could sleep somewhere else."

He raised his eyebrow and looked at her curiously. She blushed slightly, "I meant you could sleep in one of the guest rooms. We have three of them."

"That's alright. I've got the Hyperion. Doesn't have maid service, but Angel leaves me these little mints on my pillow each night. It's really quite posh." He joked with her.

"Well, I don't get mints on my pillow. I should talk to Rosa about that, huh?" She laughed slightly. She then motioned for him to follow her around the corner into the living room. "This is where Dad entertains business associates. And in that room over there," She pointed to a room filled with plush couches and a big screen plasma TV, "that's where Dad watches sports."

"That's some telly you got there. I may have to come over and catch up on Passions. I wonder what I missed when I was dead?"

She laughed and shook her head, as she continued to lead him around the house. Spike stopped when he saw a picture of Joyce on the mantle above the fireplace. He picked it up and studied it.

"Hank keeps a picture of his ex-wife on the mantle?" He asked with surprise.

Buffy shook her head, "No. I put that there. Along with those." She gestured to two more photos resting on a piano. One of Joyce with Buffy and Dawn when they were little. And another of Joyce and Buffy alone. It appeared to have been taken sometime just before they'd left for Sunnydale.

"I asked Dad if he had any pictures of Mom. All of mine were destroyed." She said sadly.

Spike nodded his head silently. He knew how hard it must have been for Buffy to lose everything the way she did.

"I guess that was partly my fault." He remarked.

"What was your fault?"

"That you lost everything. I was the one who brought the house down, so to speak." He reminded her.

"You were kinda saving the world at the time. You're forgiven." She smiled slightly.

She grabbed his arm and pulled him along into the next room.

"This is the kitchen. But we eat out a lot, so it's mostly for decoration." She glanced over at the telephone answering machine and saw that it was blinking with a new message. She went over and pushed the playback button.

"Hey Buffy, I just wanted to say that I'm still with Ste—Connor. I-I'm gonna stay here tonight so don't wait up or worry I crashed your precious car. And don't worry about anything else. We're just gonna talk. He needs me right now. Okay, so make up a good excuse for Dad and tell him I'm staying with Lucy, okay? And just tell Angel...tell him that Connor is alright. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

Buffy wasn't sure if she was relieved that Angel's son was alright and Dawn was with him, or if she should worry that Dawn was getting herself in over her head. Spending the night with a boy was a big deal, especially at seventeen. She didn't want Dawn to repeat her own mistakes, and with Angel's son of all people. It was just a little too much for Buffy to comprehend.

"You okay?" Spike asked her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just wigging a little over Dawn spending the night with him. But I-I guess she's a big girl, right?"

"That's what you kept insisting earlier."

"Well, that was before she told me she was spending the night with Angel's son."

"Maybe you should call Angel and tell him what's happening?" Spike reminded her.

"Yeah, let me do that. Then we can finish the tour. I'll show you the pool." She smiled slightly.

She picked up the phone and dialed the hotel. Angel picked up on the first ring.

"Dawn?" He asked.

"No, it's me."

"Buffy. Did Dawn come home? Did she say anything about Connor? Did she find him?" He asked quickly.

"She called a little bit ago. I just got the message. She's with him, and she said to tell you he was alright."

"Oh thank god...I thought he may have...well, I thought he might do something stupid." Angel said softly.

"Well, Dawn's staying with him tonight. So he'll be okay. At least for now."

"Thanks for calling me Buffy. I know you probably think what I did was horrible."

"Yeah, a little bit. But...it's okay. I'll let you know if I find out anything else, alright?"

She hung up the phone and looked at Spike. "Wanna see the pool now?" She asked as she pointed at the French doors leading out into the backyard.

"Sure."

He followed her outside and took in the sight of an amazing pool that was fabricated to look like an enchanted lagoon. It was beautiful. And Buffy was beautiful...he thought to himself. The moon was high in the sky and it cast a luminous glow all around her.

"So this is the pool. I've only been it a few times. It's been a little chilly. But the pool is heated." She pointed out.

He kept staring at her, lost in the moment. He was alive and Buffy was alive and the world really hadn't ended all those months ago. Every once in awhile he'd just stop to think about that and how lucky he felt. He hadn't deserved a second chance at life. He knew that. Saving the world one measly time wasn't enough to tip the scales in his favor. But someone up there must have felt differently.

She noticed him staring and it made her feel self conscious. She looked behind her to make sure he wasn't looking at anything else, but she realized it was in fact her he was transfixed on.

"I-Is something the matter? Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked tensely.

"Do I make you nervous?" He asked her seemingly out of the blue.

"What?"

"I said do I make you nervous?"

"No. Why would you think that?"

"Nothing. Never mind." He shook his head. This may lead to a discussion he didn't want to have with her. He'd rather not prod her and get an answer he didn't want to hear.

She looked at her feet, "Well, maybe a little." She admitted.

"What?"

"Maybe you make me a little nervous. Sometimes."

"Why? Have I done something wrong, Buffy?" He asked sincerely.

She shook her head, "No, you haven't. It's not that. It's just...well; I don't know where we stand anymore. Or what's happening between us."

"Well that makes two of us."

"I meant what I said to you Spike." She whispered softly.

"Meant what?"

"Before you died...When I said that I—"

"You don't have to say that Buffy." He stopped her.

"But I _want_ to say it."

He shook his head, "No, It's alright. I know you only said it because I was about to die. You don't have to say it again. It's forgotten."

"Forgotten? You just wanna forget that I said I loved you?" She asked confused and little hurt.

"That's not what I meant. I just meant that I don't want you to feel like you have to own up to what you said. It was a special circumstance. I assumed that you were the one who wanted to forget it."

"I can't forget it. And I-I don't want to." She told him seriously.

Spike was unable to believe that she had really meant what she said. It was a relief to know that she hadn't said it merely out of pity for him. But knowing that it was the truth still left a lot of questions. This situation wasn't as simple as all that.

"So then where does that leave us?"

"I don't know." She shrugged.

"I need to know what you want from me Buffy. I'm lost here. Tell me what you want me to do."

She gazed deeply into his eyes and he had to admit she looked a little lost herself. She moved a bit closer to him and took a deep breath.

"I want you to kiss me." She whispered.

"What?" He was startled.

"Do I have to spell it out for you? Kiss me, Spike."

He stood transfixed by the welcoming look on her face. He was paralyzed. He couldn't seem to move his feet to get closer to her. She seemed to realize this and she walked over to him. She took his hands in her own, and held them gently. He looked at her curiously.

"Buffy are you sure you—"

She silenced him with her lips. She kissed him softly and gently at first. Taking time to familiarize herself with the feel of his lips again. She released his hands and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. He pulled her close to him and forgot about everything else besides this kiss. It was all that mattered now. All of the hateful things they'd done to each other in the past, melted away. None of that seemed real anymore. That was then and this was now, and everything seemed different.

"Buffy? Whose car is that out—" Hank called out, then stopped when he saw his oldest daughter kissing a strange man in their backyard.

Buffy pulled away from Spike abruptly and turned to see her father standing on the patio.

"Dad! I didn't think you'd be home so early." Buffy was flustered.

"Well there was a power failure at the club. Seems someone rammed their car into a power pole. They canceled the evening early." He explained.

"Oh. Well that explains it."

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your...friend?" Hank asked. His overprotective fatherly instincts took hold of him.

"Dad, this is Spike."

"Spike? That's an interesting name." Hank said with a disapproving glance.

"Nice to meet you too." Spike muttered under his breath.

"Buffy can I speak with you a minute?" Hank asked with a fake smile plastered on his face.

"Sure." Buffy followed him back inside the kitchen, and Spike remained by the pool. She glanced over her shoulder and saw him plant himself on a chaise lounge and gaze up into the sky.

"Buffy who is that man?"

"I told you, he's—"

"Spike. Right, I heard that part. But don't you think he's a little old for you?"

"I'm going to be twenty-three in a few weeks. I think I'm old enough to make my own choices about who I spend time with."

"But he must be at least thirty. And that hair? He looks like a criminal." Hank remarked.

Thirty...if only he knew the real truth. It was more like a hundred and thirty, she thought. But she said, "Just because his hair is bleached, doesn't automatically mean he's a criminal. Last I heard a fashion emergency wasn't an actual crime."

"Did you just meet him, Buffy? Because you can't be too trusting these days. What do you really know about him?"

"Dad, calm down. I've known him for years, okay? We go way back."

"Is he your boyfriend?"

Buffy almost said no, then she thought better of it. It was too complicated to try and explain her relationship with Spike to him. He'd seen them kissing, she couldn't just say they were friends. Friends didn't share kisses like that. And she couldn't very well tell her dad that she and Spike screwed like rabbits for awhile and now they were actually trying to build something real.

She sighed, "Yes. He's my boyfriend. We're sorta on again, off again. And now is one of the on again phases."

"Did Joyce approve of him then?" He asked curiously.

Buffy had to laugh a bit. Her mom _had_ truly liked Spike. Way before even Buffy herself could stand him. She nodded her head, "Yeah, Mom liked him a lot."

"Well if Joyce thought he was okay, then I guess I can give him a chance." Hank relented.

"It's not like you really have a choice, Dad. I'm not a little girl anymore. Just because you weren't around when I turned into a grown-up doesn't mean it didn't happen. I've been through things you can't even imagine. Spike was with me through most of it. He understands me." She told him seriously. "And he loves me." She added in a small voice.

"Well, he's got good taste then." Hank smiled sincerely. "I'll go upstairs and catch up on some paperwork. I'll leave you two alone."

"Thanks Dad."

"I do love you Buffy. I know I've been a terrible father, but I'm trying. I guess you're right. You are a grown woman now, and I gave up my rights to try and shield you from the world. But I _am_ still your father, and I only want what's best for you."

"I know. But I can take care of myself. I don't need shielding from anything."

"No, I suppose you don't." He agreed. "Goodnight Buffy."

He turned to walk away from her and she stopped him, "Wait! I almost forgot. Dawn called, and she said she's staying at Lucy's house tonight."

"Good. I'm glad she's made some new friends here." He smiled.

"I'll see you in the morning, Dad."

And with that he disappeared out of the room and Buffy went back outside to join Spike at the lounge chair. She stood over him as he lay there with his eyes closed and his arms splayed out above his head.

"Getting a tan?" Buffy chuckled at him.

He opened one eye and looked at her, "If I close my eyes, I can pretend I'm on the beach with the sun beaming down on me. In a non-fatal way of course."

"Of course."

"I've never been to the beach. Not when I was human, that is. They didn't have many sunny beaches in England."

"I guess not."

"So, did Hank give you the third degree? Try and warn you that I wasn't good enough for you?" He asked, changing the subject.

"He tried, but I set him straight."

"He really has a lot of nerve trying to dictate your choices now after walking out on you and Dawn."

"I know. But it's okay. I'm dealing. I just don't think about that part."

"I guess I should really be getting back to the hotel." Spike swung his feet over the edge of the chaise lounge and stood up.

"Do you really have to go now? We were having a good time." She said softly. "Weren't we?"

"Of course we were. But we were lost in the moment. I reckon things look a little different now."

"Why? Just because my dad came home?"

"No, but because you had a few minutes to think about the mistake you were about to make." He told her.

"You think that us kissing was a mistake?" She asked wounded.

"Buffy, Hank may be a bloody awful father, but he's right. I'm not good enough for you. I never can be. Look around at this place. This is your life. I can't ever give you anything of the sort."

"You think I care about that? That I care about what you can _give_ me? You give me plenty. You give me strength and friendship and trust and...love."

"Love isn't enough."

"Say's who?"

"Say's everyone. Love isn't a fix all, Buffy. I know that now. It only took me over a century to figure it out, but I finally did."

"So that's it then? We love each other and we just forget about it and we go our separate ways?" She felt tears forming in her eyes and tried to hold them back.

"That's not what I'm saying."

"Then what _are_ you saying?" She prodded him.

He looked at her seriously and realized he couldn't answer her. He didn't know what he was saying either. He just knew he didn't want to mess up Buffy's life. He wanted a soul so he could be what she deserved, but he knew now that it wasn't enough. A soul still didn't make him human.

"I just don't want to hurt you." He said finally.

"So then don't."

"But—"

"No, I don't want to hear it, Spike. You've been spending too much time with Angel, you know that? You're even starting to act like him." She informed him.

"Bite your tongue! I am not!" He said defensively.

"Yes, you are. You're so wrapped up in wanting what's best for me that you're not thinking about what I actually want. I don't care anymore about having a normal life, whatever that means. How many times do I have to tell people that this is as normal as it gets for me? Loving a vampire? That's pretty much normal for Buffy. Don't you see that?"

"I am _nothing_ like Angel." He muttered, still bent out of shape by that comparison.

"Then prove me wrong." She challenged him.

"What do you want me to do, Buffy? Ravage you right here on the chaise lounge, while dear old Dad watches from the window?"

Buffy began to laugh. That visual in her head was just too much, and she couldn't contain herself.

"This isn't funny." He protested.

"Yes, it is. It really, really is." She laughed. "What are we doing Spike? Why are we arguing like this? It's stupid."

"I wasn't aware that we were arguing. I thought we were talking."

"Do you love me, Spike?" She asked, her laughter dying down.

"You know I do."

"And I love you. Whether you believe it or not; I do." She moved over closer to him and touched his face. "And you know what? It _is_ enough." She kissed his lips softly and gazed into his eyes. "Right now, it's enough."

Wes leaned against the wall in Angel's bedroom. Angel was sitting despondently in a chair staring at the wall.

"You had to know something like this was possible Angel." Wes broke the uncomfortable silence.

"Of course I knew. I just...When I asked Lilah..." Angel fumbled for the right words. "I thought it was the right thing to do."

"But you must have realized that something that fantastical had to have consequences. You risked your soul; the very thing that you stand for, just so Connor might be happy. But did you ever consider that everyone has a destiny and sometimes you can't change that?"

"So you're trying to tell me that Connor was destined to become an unrepentant killer? That he was destined to feel nothing but despair and loneliness and rage for the rest of his life?" Angel asked incredulously.

"Perhaps." Wes nodded his head. "I'm not saying destiny is always fair. Everything happens for a reason, Angel. You may have attempted to fix things with magic, but some things can't be glossed over with a wave of a magic wand."

"I just didn't know how to fix it any other way."

"Maybe it wasn't up to you to fix it?" Wes remarked.

"He hates me more now than he ever did."

"Yes, I suspect he does. I can't say that I'm not displeased to know you've altered my memory along with everyone else's. And that you've put us in cahoots with Wolfram and Hart without even considering the ramifications for all involved."

"I'm working on that part Wes. You know that." Angel reminded him.

"Too little, too late, perhaps."

Angel just looked at him and said nothing. He couldn't stand being judged by everyone. Least of all Wes. Deep down Angel still held him partly responsible for Connor's torment. If Wes hadn't of kidnapped him, none of this would have ever happened. Connor's life may have been idyllic compared to what he actually experienced. But none of them would ever know that now.

Angel burst into the Wolfram and Hart offices, nearly shattering the glass doors. He marched into the middle of the lobby, which was empty at this late hour, aside from a security guard posted behind the desk.

"Mr. Angel! Is something wrong?" The guard asked with concern.

"Where is she?" He demanded.

"Where is who?"

"Lilah Morgan. I know she's here."

"Ms. Morgan is dead, sir. I'm sure you must remember." The guard reminded him.

"Cut the crap." Angel spat at him as he grabbed him by the collar and hoisted him up. "Where is she?"

"I-I don't know." The guard stammered with fright.

Angel tossed the guard down to the floor and looked up at the ceiling where the security cameras were recording everything for posterity.

"I know you're watching, Lilah. Get your ass into my office now, or I'll come looking for you and make you just a little deader than you are now." Angel hurried to the elevator and rode it up to the correct floor.

He exited the elevator and began walking down the hall towards his corner office. He heard a noise behind him and he turned around swiftly to see Lilah standing behind him.

"That little entrance of yours was pretty dramatic. Was that really necessary?" She remarked snidely.

"It felt necessary to me."

"What is it you want Angel?" She asked impatiently.

"In my office. Now." He said turning the corner and opening his door. He didn't check to see if she followed, because he knew she would.

She shut the door behind herself and Angel turned around to face her angrily. Her smug look made him want to rip that shoddily attached head of hers right off her shoulders. Angel then noticed a small camera in the corner of his office that he'd never paid much attention to before. He picked up a chair and hurled it at the lens smashing it to bits. Lilah flinched and jumped away from the hurtling chair and broken glass.

"Okay Angel, you've gotten my attention. What has your undead panties in a bunch?" She asked acting bored by his little display.

He went over and grabbed her by the shoulders and smashed her into the wall. She cried out in surprise and pain.

"No, _now_ I've gotten your attention." He clarified to her. "Connor knows everything. You said he'd never remember, but he does. All of it." He seethed with anger.

"Is that what this is about? Well that's not my problem Angel. I did what you asked." She informed him.

"It is your problem! You knew that I'd never sign that contract until you promised me this would work and be permanent. You swore to me that he'd never know."

"I didn't think he would!" She insisted to him, as she pushed him away from her, and straightened her blouse. "I had no idea. It's not my fault your son is as hard headed as you are. Apparently his brain isn't as easy to wipe clean as I thought."

"Fix it. Fix it now."

"I can't. I already did my part, Angel. I had the shaman do the spell for you. It's not my fault it didn't take. I lived up to my end of the deal. But you're not living up to yours." She told him seriously.

"And what would you be referring to?"

"You haven't been putting in many hours here at the office. It seems like you're the one trying to renege on your end of the deal."

"The way I see it now, we have no deal. Connor knows everything, so there is no deal." He told her simply.

Lilah laughed and shook her head, "You really think it's as simple as that? Your contract is binding Angel. It doesn't matter if Connor remembers or not. That wasn't a stipulation of the contract. That was between us. It was a personal favor from me to you. A signing bonus, so to speak."

Angel would have killed her if he could have. Soul or not, he'd had enough of Lilah's scheming and duplicity to last several lifetimes. He glared at her, shooting daggers with his eyes.

"I also know about the visions Lilah. And you're never going to get them. I promise you."

"Really? Because I have a feeling that I am. It's just a hunch." She said with a smirk.

"Well, I guess we'll just see who's right then, cause I've got a hunch too. And that includes your very violent, very permanent death."

"Is that what you think will happen to me? You can't hurt me."

"No, I can't. But I'm betting someone can. I've been talking to Wes too. He seems to think if you don't get the visions taken care of soon, you're on an express train right back to Hell." Angel informed her.

She looked at him with a hardened glare. She would not let him get to her. She knew she would pay for that momentary weakness she shared with Wes. She had told him too much and now it was coming back to haunt her. But she wouldn't let Angel know that.

"Is that what he told you?"

Angel nodded.

"Well, you can't believe everything you hear. Especially not from Wes. Whose side is he on anyway? Do _you_ even know? In fact are you sure that _anyone_ is on your side anymore, Angel?" She asked innocently. She was thinking of Gunn now, and smiling to herself at the realization that Angel had no idea he was being double-crossed, yet again.

Angel glared at her and said nothing. Lilah gave him a self-satisfied smirk.

"I'll let you think about that for awhile, Angel." Lilah said coolly as she turned around and exited his office.

The next morning Fred and Willow sat in the lobby of the hotel, whispering amongst themselves.

"So Angel really has a son?" Fred asked, having just heard the news.

"Yeah. Pretty wild, huh?"

Fred nodded her head, "I can't believe this. How? When? How come I don't remember that?"

"Angel did some kind of spell that made everyone forget about him."

"He messed with my mind? I-I don't like that. It's kinda creepy, don't you think?" Fred was unnerved. "What else don't I remember?"

"I don't know. None of us knows for sure." Willow told her. "I remember being here when Angel lost his soul again, but I don't remember Connor. But from what Angel said, he was here then. And I actually spoke to him. But I-I don't remember that part."

"How could he do this? I feel kinda...violated." Fred fidgeted nervously.

"Angel didn't know what would happen I don't think. He wanted Connor to forget, but he said he didn't know everyone else would forget too."

"And you believe him?" Fred wanted to know.

"Angel may know a lot of stuff, but I don't think he realizes how magic works. I don't think he understood that magic always has a price." Willow explained.

"Isn't that common knowledge? That whole Law of Three bit?"

"I-I don't think everyone knows that. I didn't. Not at first." Willow admitted. "Plus sometimes even if you _do_ know, you kinda forget it when you're feeling desperate like Angel was."

"Yeah, I guess. I-I think I've just watched too many episodes of Charmed." Fred sighed.

Willow had to laugh a bit and shook her head, "Charmed isn't exactly a good representation of magic. But at least they do acknowledge that you can't use magic for personal gain. I learned that lesson the hard way."

"I guess you did. What exactly happened to you before? I-I know you said it was really bad, but—"

"It was really, really bad. I let magic take over my whole life. I-I couldn't even brush my teeth the old fashioned way. I used magic for everything." Willow told her. "And then when Tara died..."

"Who's Tara?"

"She was my girlfriend." Willow said softly. "Actually, she was my everything...And when she died, I lost it. Completely. I tried to end the world."

"I'm so sorry. That must have been really hard for you." Fred said sympathetically.

"Not as hard as it was on everyone else. Ending the world isn't something I'd recommend doing if you want to win people over."

"I-I meant losing someone you loved like that." She clarified.

Willow nodded her head, "Oh, yeah, it _was_ hard. Hence the losing my mind part. I still miss her everyday."

"I guess you never really get over something like that."

"No...But I'm okay now. I have to be. Tara would want me to be okay. She'd want me to move on and be happy again." Willow smiled as she wiped a tear out of her eye at the memory of Tara.

Fred reached out and patted Willow on the back soothingly. Willow looked at her, and noted the sincerity of her expression. She smiled at her and leaned over and hugged her tightly. Fred was startled by the gesture, but she tried not to let it show. Willow realized that maybe she had stepped over a line, but she really just wanted Fred to know what her friendship meant.

"You've been a good friend to me, Fred. Thanks." She said sincerely.

"You've been a good friend too. I-It was kinda lonely being the only girl around for so long." She smiled. "It's nice to have someone to gossip to."

"It is. Especially when the gossip is juicy like Angel having a long lost son we knew nothing about."

"It's like a soap opera. But with vampires." Fred remarked.

"It's like Port Charles."

"Oh my god! You've watched Port Charles?" Fred exclaimed excitedly.

"Yes! It's so cheesy."

"I know! But Caleb? He's completely dreamy." Fred was momentarily fifteen again chatting with a girlfriend over which boy was cuter.

"He _is_ cute. If you like that sort of thing." Willow waved her hand dismissively.

"Who doesn't?" Fred laughed. Then she realized what she had said. "Except you. Cause you're...well, you know." She whispered softly.

"I'm gay, Fred. It's not a disease. You don't have to whisper it like an old Jewish grandmother. You can't catch it." Willow was amused.

"Sorry." Fred blushed a bright shade of red and looked away from Willow. She felt stupid for making a bigger deal out of it than she should have.

"It's no biggie. You knew right? I mean before today when I told you about Tara?" Willow was curious.

"Actually, no. Not really. I-I mean I thought maybe. But then you mentioned Kennedy was waiting for you in Cleveland. I-I thought Kennedy was a man."

Willow laughed and shook her head, "No, she's very much a woman. But we broke up."

"How come? Cause you decided to stay here?"

"Yeah. Plus, she had her own thing going in Cleveland. I'd rather be here." With you...Willow wanted to add, but didn't. It was no use. Fred was hopelessly heterosexual and that left Willow with nothing but admiration from afar. But she supposed that would have to be good enough.

Dawn woke up, fully clothed, lying on Connor's bed. They'd stayed up most of the night talking. She let him vent his rage, and he allowed her to comfort him as best she could. She felt sorry for him, but at the same time a part of her felt that they were kindred spirits. No one else could know the heartbreak of living a lie quite like they could.

He had reluctantly admitted to her that he had done awful things. Some of them he didn't quite remember yet. But he knew they were there. He supposed the selective amnesia was his minds way of protecting him from things he wouldn't be able to handle. Not yet, and maybe not ever.

But Dawn never wavered in her support of him. They hadn't been together very long, but she already felt closer to him than she'd ever felt with anyone. She rolled over sleepily expecting to find Connor there, but the bed was empty. She sat up straight and looked around. The bed across the room that housed Connor's dorm mate, Brad, was occupied now. It hadn't been when she'd fallen asleep. She wondered if maybe Connor had moved over there in effort to be more of a gentleman.

She stood up and walked barefoot across the room. She reached down and shook the sleeping figure lightly.

"Connor?" She whispered.

The sleeper awoke and sat bolt upright.

"Who? What? Where am I?" A groggy Brad asked with confusion.

"Oh. Sorry. I-I thought you were Connor." Dawn said softly.

"Connor? Who's Connor?" He asked as he sat up straighter. "Aren't you Steve's girl?"

"Uh, right. Yeah. Steve. I thought you were Steve." She corrected herself. "Do you know where he went?"

He shook his head, "Nah, he was here when I crashed, about 6am. He probably went to class. He's got an 8am Lit class."

"It's Sunday. He doesn't go to class on Sunday." Dawn pointed out.

"Oh right...yeah. Sorry, I have no idea where he went then." He shrugged.

Dawn looked troubled and fidgeted nervously. Connor had seemed okay by the end of their talks, but she knew that he was still in a lot of mental anguish. She hoped he hadn't done anything stupid. Brad noticed her worried look.

"Steve's not the type of guy to love 'em and leave 'em. If that's what you're worried about." He assured her. "He probably just went out for coffee or something."

Dawn realized that Brad made the assumption they slept together and now Connor had run off. A one night stand. She wanted to correct him, but it was too much effort. She just smiled at him slightly and nodded her head.

"Probably. I-I have to get going now though. But if you see him, tell him to call Dawn, okay?"

She gathered her shoes and slipped them back on. She searched the floor for her purse and car keys. She located them and slipped quietly out the door as Brad pulled the pillow over his head and rolled over.

When Dawn arrived back at home, she saw Buffy sitting at the breakfast table with Hank. They looked up when she entered the kitchen.

"Morning Pumpkin! You're home early." Hank remarked.

"Uh, yeah. Lucy had some stuff to do today." She lied quietly.

"How is Lucy feeling anyway? Is she better than she was yesterday?" Buffy asked, substituting Connor for Lucy.

"Um, yeah. I think. She left real early this morning though." Dawn informed her.

"Where'd she go?"

"I'm not sure."

"That's kind of odd, isn't it? Your friend didn't even tell you where she was going?" Hank asked.

"Lucy is going through some stuff, Dad." Dawn said quietly.

"Well, isn't everyone?" Hank chuckled. He then offered Dawn a platter of eggs, but she waved them away.

"I'm really not hungry. I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower." Dawn said softly.

Then she turned around and headed up the back staircase. Buffy watched Dawn's body language trying to discern whether or not anything happened between Dawn and Connor last night. Buffy remembered how she had woken up alone the morning after she and Angel had made love. Buffy was a mess, feeling cheap and abandoned. It was the same look Dawn had on her face just now. Buffy waited a few minutes then excused herself from the table and headed up the stairs after Dawn.

She went to her room and knocked softly on the door.

"Dawn, it's me. Can I come in?"

"I guess." Dawn answered.

Buffy pushed open the door and saw Dawn sitting on her bed with her journal on her lap. She closed it when Buffy entered the room, and set it aside.

"He wasn't there when you woke up?" Buffy asked softly as she sat on the bed next to Dawn.

Dawn shook her head, "No. He was gone. I-I don't know where he went, Buffy. I'm worried about him."

"I know how hard it must be for you...after last night...then you wake up alone. I've been there." Buffy sympathized. "Sometimes men suck, Dawnie. Like father like son."

Dawn looked at her with surprise.

"I didn't have sex with him, Buffy." She clarified firmly. "You actually thought I had sex with him?"

"You didn't?"

"No! I told you we were going to talk and that's it."

"I-I know. But that's what everyone says and it's just a clever smokescreen for what's really going on." Buffy attempted to explain.

"I thought you knew me better than that. Connor was in pain last night. Serious big time pain. I-I know what that's like, remember? My entire life is a lie too."

"Your life isn't a lie."

"Yes, it is." Dawn argued. "He needed someone to talk to who actually cared about him. Someone who understood. He's never had that before. Sex was the furthest thing from either of our minds last night."

"I'm sorry I doubted you." Buffy felt badly for being so presumptuous.

"I'm not you Buffy. I do have a little self control." Dawn remarked but soon regretted. It came out a lot more judgmental and harsh than she intended, and Buffy's stricken face reflected that. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean that."

Buffy didn't answer or make an attempt to accept Dawn's apology. All she could think about was the way she had thrown herself at Spike last night. He was protesting out of logic and reason, and all she could think of was kissing him. Consequences be damned. Maybe she _didn't_ have any self control?

"Buffy I said I was sorry. I didn't mean it. I-I'm just really tired."

"It's okay. You're right. You're not me. I keep forgetting that." Buffy admitted. "Why don't you get some rest? We can talk later if you want."

And with that Buffy left Dawn alone again. She kept wondering if she really had made a mistake with Spike last night. Nothing had happened; aside from some incredibly intense kissing, but Buffy had wanted more. She had wanted much, much more. But what if her reasons for wanting him were purely selfish again? She did love him though...that much was true. But what if Spike was right and they had no real future together? It was all a little too much for her to figure out right now.

Connor pulled his car up in front of the Hyperion hotel. He didn't really understand why he'd come here. He'd left his dorm early and spent hours just driving. He made it all the way down to San Diego and wondered if he should just keep going across the border into Mexico. But then he realized that it didn't matter how far away he was from Angel and that part of his past; he'd still never be able to outrun it. He'd turned the car around and made the three and half hour trip back to LA.

Now he sat in his Honda with the motor running, staring up at the building that housed Angel. His father. The father who had destroyed his entire life with lies and deception. But his father all the same. Dawn had made him realize that holding onto the bitterness and anger was never going to solve anything. And that just because Angel was his father and had made tremendous mistakes, didn't mean Connor had to follow in his footsteps. He didn't have to succumb to the demons that were haunting him.

He switched off the ignition and got out of the car. He made his way into the hotel. As he stood in the lobby, with the doors clanging loudly shut behind him, he sensed that the place was deserted. Maybe this was a sign that he shouldn't have come here at all?

Just then, Willow walked into the lobby carrying a stack of books. She startled when she saw him, and ended up dropping the books to the floor.

"Oh crap." She muttered to herself as she bent to collect the books.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make you drop your books." He apologized as he bent down to help her pick them up.

"I-It's okay. What are you doing here?" She asked softly.

He shrugged, "I came to see Ang—my father. Is he here?"

"Um, yeah...he's upstairs. Brooding. He does that a lot." Willow told him.

Connor nodded and began to head up the stairs. Willow stopped him.

"Hey...are you okay Connor? You were pretty upset when you left here. With good reason, of course."

He shook his head, "I'm not okay. But maybe someday I will be."

He turned away from her and continued up the stairs. Willow could feel the misery coming off of him in droves. She wondered silently if it was safe to let him see Angel at all. What if he tried to do something crazy like kill him? Willow dismissed that idea quickly. She had sensed sadness, but not anger. Not this time. He appeared to have moved on from the angry denial phase to the quiet calm of despair phase. She let him continue on upstairs and disappear around the corner.

Connor came to Angel's door and opened it again without knocking. He wasn't feeling very courteous right now. His mother would be cringing at his repeated rudeness because she had always instilled in him the importance of good manners. Only she wasn't _really_ his mother. His mother was a vampire and she was a dead one at that. She probably knew nothing at all about etiquette. He shook that bitter memory out of his head. It didn't matter anyway. He walked into the quiet room cautiously.

"Angel?" He called out boldly.

Angel moved out of the sitting room that had once been Connor's nursery. He was startled to see him standing before him.

"Connor...You came back." He said in disbelief.

Connor said nothing and merely looked away from Angel and down at his feet.

"I know you're angry right now, but—"

"I'm not angry." He informed him. "I'm too terrified to be angry any more."

"Terrified? Of me?"

Connor shook his head, "Of me. What am I? Am I even human?"

"Mostly." Angel wasn't entirely sure of that answer himself.

"I remember doing terrible things. I remember tying people up...explosives. God...what did I do?" He asked despairingly as the memories of his sins rushed back at him like a freight train.

"Connor, you had no control over what happened." He tried to reassure him.

"Yes, I did. I did terrible things. What else did I do?" He asked. Suddenly a new name entered his memory, and he looked at Angel. "Cordelia...what happened to Cordelia?"

"Cordelia is gone, Connor."

"She's dead isn't she? I remember now...She came to see me. I-I thought it was a dream or I was losing my mind, but I wasn't. She really _is_ dead."

"I know you loved her. I did too. We all did." Angel said as gently as he could.

"But she never loved me. I was just a pawn in her game. In Jasmine's game. Cordy never cared about me at all." He said feeling a tear roll down his face.

"That's not true. The real Cordelia loved you very much. She took care of you when—"

"When I was a baby. Yeah, I know. God, how sick is that? I made love to the woman who changed my diapers. And I really thought it meant something to her."

"That wasn't Cordy. Jasmine had taken her over completely. The real Cordy never would have hurt you like that." Angel tried to sooth his feelings.

"What other lies am I forgetting here, Angel? I know there were more. Cordy never loved me. You looked at me as if I was a complete failure. Your friends hated me. Holtz lied to me for 17 years and said _he_ was my father. But he never even cared at all. All he wanted was revenge against you." He said miserably. "Then Jasmine said she loved me, and that I belonged at her side, but that wasn't real either. Then all of a sudden I've got this wonderful family. And they love me and I love them. And I feel this sense of happiness and calm that I'd never known. But I knew deep down that it was the biggest lie of them all. I just tried to pretend it wasn't." He said dejectedly.

"Connor, I know you feel that nothing is real. But this, right now, us standing here talking; this is real. And my love and concern for you is real." Angel said pleading with him to understand.

"How am I supposed to believe that when everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie? You used magic to make people forget I ever existed. I was that much of a disappointment that you couldn't even bear letting anyone know I was your son."

"That wasn't why I did it. I wasn't ashamed of you, Connor. I was scared. Scared for you. I saw you making the kind of mistakes that people never come back from. And believe me, I know. My whole existence is based on remembering and regretting those kinds of mistakes. My conscience can never be clear. I'll never be able to right all the wrongs I made even if I live to be a thousand years old. I couldn't bear to see you dealing with that type of torment for the rest of your life."

"So you did it to spare _my_ conscience...or yours?" Connor asked pointedly.

"Both." He admitted.

"So then it wasn't this great big selfless act? Big surprise there."

"I'm not perfect Connor. You'll be the first one to point that out to me. I made a mistake. A big one. But I did it out of love for you; my son. I never forgot you or stopped loving you. And I never thought you were a failure. I was the failure." He told him seriously.

Connor said nothing, and looked away from Angel uncomfortably. Emotion was taking him over. It was a foreign experience for him. He'd claimed to never have felt anything before, except maybe rage. He had been emotionally dead inside. But now things were happening to him. Maybe it was his alter-ego Steve that had been the emotional one and it was still implanted in his psyche? He wasn't sure.

He had allowed Dawn to see his vulnerable side. He had cried in front of her and felt true emotion at her attempts to comfort him. He felt love in his heart for Dawn. True love, based on reality and not fantasy like he had with Cordelia. And now he felt something for Angel. It wasn't love but it wasn't hate either. It was something in between. And he was just so tired...he began to weep uncontrollably.

Angel witnessed this display of raw emotion and against his better judgment he went to Connor. He pulled him into a bear hug and held him as he wept. To his surprise, Connor didn't shove him away. He merely collapsed into the embrace, and Angel held him up.

"I'm so sorry Connor." He whispered remorsefully. "I never meant for this to happen. I know you hate me."

Connor shook his head silently.

"I'm too tired to hate anymore." He pushed himself out of Angel's embrace. "I'm just so tired of everything."

"Can you ever forgive me? Can we start over?" Angel asked.

Connor shook his head and wiped his eyes.

"I don't know yet."

Angel didn't attempt to push him further. The fact that Connor had sought him out was surprising enough. The fact he had allowed Angel to speak with him rationally and embrace him was nothing short of a miracle. He couldn't expect that something this major could just be solved with a few words and a hug. But it was a start. And that was more than Angel ever expected to get from him.

Later that night, Spike was sitting on the counter in the hotel lobby talking to Angel.

"He actually showed up here?" Spike asked in disbelief.

"He did. He's still upset but it's a start."

"Well, you're lucky he didn't stake you on sight."

"I actually thought that was why he came here today. And I didn't blame him." Angel admitted.

They heard the phone ring behind the desk, and Spike reached down to pick it up.

"Angel Investigations." Spike said flatly into the phone. "Yeah, hang on."

He offered the phone to Angel. "It's Willow. She has some questions about phase one of the plan."

"I'll take it in my office." Angel said heading into the back.

Spike set the phone back down and jumped off the desk. As he did he saw the front doors open to reveal Buffy striding into the lobby. Spike smiled when he saw her and walked over to her.

"I was wondering if I would see you tonight." He said softly as he took her hand.

"You didn't think I'd come?" She asked.

"Well, I thought maybe things looked different to you the day after."

And Buffy had to admit he was right. All day long she had thought of nothing else except last night, wondering if she'd made a huge mistake. But she didn't tell him this.

"Do things look different to you?" She asked him.

"No." He leaned over and kissed her passionately.

She didn't back away from him. She couldn't. With one touch of his lips she was reminded of exactly _why_ she had thrown logic out the window last night. He pulled back and grinned at her.

"We shouldn't be doing that here." She whispered uncomfortably, as she glanced around the room to make sure they were alone. "Angel might see us."

"So?"

"So? I-I don't want him to see us kissing. It'll upset him. He doesn't need anything else on his plate right now." She said nervously.

"How very noble of you. Trying to spare the great poofter's feelings? Didn't seem you much thought about _my_ feelings when I watched you making kissy faces with Angel a few months back." He asked bitterly.

"Spike I told you that meant nothing. And I didn't know you were watching anyway."

"Well I was. And it bloody well pissed me off. Why should I care if Angel gets a taste of that bitter pill?" He asked shaking his head.

"Spike, don't do this. Angel and I are over. I told you that."

"Then why are you worried about him seeing us together? Is our relationship top secret again? Is that it? Ashamed of me?" He asked angrily.

She groaned and closed her eyes. "I'm not ashamed of you. It's just...it's complicated. Angel and I have a history together. And Angel already hates you. Why give him anymore ammunition?"

"I don't care what Angel thinks, and neither should you." He said to her. "I knew this wasn't a good idea. Just forget the whole thing." He said as he turned around and walked out of room, and onto the back terrace.

She silently scolded herself for screwing things up yet again with Spike. She was definitely not good at interpersonal relationships of any kind. She was always keeping everyone at a distance. Too afraid to let anyone get too close. Deliberately sabotaging anything that came close to being good and real. She was still a scared little girl when it came to love. She'd opened herself up to Angel when they met. And it had resulted in nothing but pain and heartbreak. Since then, she'd stopped allowing herself to get too close to anyone.

But that wasn't entirely true. Spike knew her inside and out. Better than she knew herself. She knew why he was mad. She wanted him, but only if Angel didn't find out. Everything always had to be on her terms, and that wasn't fair. She knew Spike would never stand for that again, therefore making it seem _he_ was the one who ended things before they began. Not her. But it was a coward's way out, and she knew it. She owed it to Spike to give him more than that. She went out onto the terrace and found Spike sitting on the edge of the fountain, smoking a cigarette. He didn't look at her when she sat down next to him.

"I'm sorry." She whispered softly.

"Sorry about what? That you dangled the prize in front of me and snatched it away again? I'm used to that." He informed her.

"That's not how this is. I promise. I meant everything I said to you last night. I do...love you." She uttered with some difficulty. Love was an emotion she had a big problem expressing.

"But it's not enough, is it? Just as I said. But you told me it was, and I believed you. But now I know that it was only enough for last night. Not forever." He told her as he crushed out his cigarette and stood up. "I can't do that again. I'm not going to be your guilty pleasure, Buffy. Either we're together or we're not. I won't sneak around anymore and pretend we're just friends. We've never been friends and you know it."

Buffy knew he was right. She had kept him at arms length all last year because she was too afraid to admit that she was really falling in love with him. Then when the stark reality had hit her that his time was up; that he was dying, she couldn't deny it anymore. She had to tell him her true feelings, knowing that it made no real difference at that point. But now it did. And he had been willing to let it go, but she couldn't. She had pressed the matter, and now she was the one backing down. She didn't want to do that to him.

"What do you want me to do, Spike? Do you want me to tell Angel that I love you? Is that it?"

"That'd be a nice start." He said seriously.

"He already knows." She said softly.

"He does?"

She nodded her head slowly, "He asked me if I loved you and I—"

"You admitted it?"

"Not exactly. But I made it pretty clear to him that you were in my heart. He knows how I feel, Spike. I just don't want to hurt him by rubbing his face in it." She explained.

Spike had to admit he understood where she was coming from. But it pained him to sympathize with Angel at all. But the poor bugger _was_ having a miserable time of things lately. Even Spike saw that. And maybe it was that pesky soul of his sneaking up on him, but he didn't really _want_ to rub Angel's nose in this. Not right now. It wouldn't solve anything except maybe pissing Buffy off and pushing her away from him. Right back into Angel's comforting arms. Spike wouldn't have any of that.

"Fine." Spike relented to her. "I understand."

"Good." She said with relief. She wasn't sure that Spike would accommodate her wishes in this matter. It was a tricky subject.

"Do you still love him, Buffy?" Spike asked quietly, regretting the words once they left his mouth. He didn't really know if he wanted the answer to that question.

She looked away from him uncomfortably, and began shifting her feet. "Do you want me to be honest?" She asked, finally meeting his gaze.

"Judging by the look on your face, maybe I don't." He admitted unhappily.

"Some part of me will always love Angel. I can't deny that. He was the first person I ever fell in love with." She told him.

"Yeah...right. I understand." He didn't really. He hated hearing that he wasn't the only one who occupied a place in her heart. He suspected it, but he didn't really want to hear it. "I guess I shouldn't have asked."

"Just because I still have feelings for him, doesn't mean that what I feel for you isn't real. It is. Angel and I are in the past. You have to believe me when I say that it's over." She said sincerely.

"But do you _want_ it to be over? If things were different, would he be the one standing here right now instead of me?" He wanted to know.

"I really don't know. I have trouble enough knowing what _is_ happening now. I can't think about what-ifs, Spike." She said honestly. "All I know is that things _aren't_ different, and you _are_ the one standing here. And you're the one I _want_ to be with."

He moved over closer to her again and took her hands, pulling her into his arms. She allowed it to happen, as she gazed up at him.

"You're the _only_ one I want to be with." She whispered genuinely.

He leaned down and kissed her lips softly. He hadn't been pleased with the way the conversation had been going, but he believed her when she said she wanted only him. Maybe he was a fool to believe it, but he did. Any sense of insecurity he had before had vanished for the moment.

Suddenly Spike pushed Buffy away, and clutched at his head.

"Spike? What's wrong?" She asked worriedly.

"Vision." He choked out painfully. She rushed to his side and tried to keep him from falling over. Finally the pain subsided and he looked at Buffy. "It's Willow."

"What?"

"Willow is in danger. We have to get Angel." She helped straighten him up all the way, and they marched back into the hotel.

"Angel!" Buffy called out loudly.

He came rushing out of his office. "Buffy? What is it? When did you get here?" He asked.

"Awhile ago. Spike and I were just talking. But he had a vision."

"Willow's in danger." Spike reiterated to Angel.

"But I just got off the phone with her. She and Fred are on their way back here."

"Well, they won't make it if the vision I saw comes true. No time to waste. Let's go." Spike said grabbing his new leather coat and heading for the door.

All three of them rushed out of the hotel and jumped into Angel's convertible. Any tension between Angel and Spike seemed to fade away, as they focused only on the matter at hand. They were all business and it felt a bit weird to Buffy. The last time the three of them went anywhere together had been when Spike had kidnapped Willow and Xander looking for a love spell to get Drusilla back. It was awkward for her to be wedged between two of her ex-lovers as they sped off in search of saving their friends.

"They were down at Wolfram and Hart." Angel informed them.

"Well they're on Melrose now. I saw demons pulling Willow out of the car. I'm not sure how many." Spike told him.

"Car jacking? On Melrose? That's not an area that demon's usually haunt." Angel mused.

"This wasn't random. Willow was a target. Fred just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"How do you know?" Buffy asked curiously.

"I just do." He informed her. Then he glanced at Angel. "Drive faster."

Angel nodded and punched the accelerator. They sped off around the corner, with the tires squealing loudly. They pulled onto Melrose and kept their eyes open for the car.

"What's the cross-street? Did you get an exact location?" Angel asked.

"No. It's near a boutique though."

"Well that narrows it down." Buffy said sarcastically. "Melrose is filled with boutiques."

"I saw dresses in a window. Wedding dresses." He added.

"Angelica's. I know where that's at." Buffy said hurriedly.

"Why do you know where a wedding dress boutique is?" Angel asked giving her and Spike a sideways glance.

"Relax, Angel. I'm not planning a wedding. I just happen to enjoy shopping. Steve Madden is next door. I was there the other day."

"Who the hell is Steve Madden?" Spike asked with a tinge of jealousy.

"He makes shoes, Spike. It's a shoe store." She said picking her foot off the floor and shoving one of her new platform sandals in his face. "Oh, turn right here!" She called out quickly.

"What? Spike said Melrose. We're on Melrose."

"I know, but it's a shortcut. Just trust me. They're doing night construction at the next intersection. We have to bypass that."

Angel screeched around the corner, nearly driving up onto the sidewalk.

"Now I see where Buffy learned to drive." Spike muttered under his breath.

They pulled back onto Melrose, just ahead of the road construction and saw the Jeep Cherokee that Willow had borrowed from Wes. It was parked haphazardly just ahead of them. The brightly lit sign above Angelica's illuminated the two demons that were attempting to drag Willow away from the vehicle. Fred was being dragged in the opposite direction and they saw her get tossed into the side of the building and land on the ground unconscious.

Buffy and Spike didn't even wait for Angel to stop the car completely before they jumped out and raced to their aid. Willow was struggling and screaming, but she wasn't really a match for the demon hit squad. They ran up on them and Spike tackled one of them to the ground swiftly. Buffy took on another, and Angel brought up the rear. Willow broke free and raced over to Fred's side. She shook her lightly.

"Fred? Are you okay?" She asked with concern.

Fred opened her eyes warily and nodded. Then her eyes turned big as saucers as a demon came up behind Willow. Willow realized at that moment that she was in danger again. Without even thinking she flicked her wrist and shouted, "Away!" and the demon went flying backwards into the side of the car.

Just then, one of the demons stopped in mid-battle with Buffy and looked over at Spike.

"That's him! He's the one! Get him!" He shouted to his brethren.

The demons all lunged towards Spike before Buffy and Angel could comprehend what was happening. Willow was forgotten in the midst of the tactic change. She crouched down next to Fred and held onto her trying to shield her from anymore harm. Fred was still feeling groggy from the bump on her head. Willow began to chant something softly under her breath.

"Willow wasn't the target! It was Spike!" Angel realized as the demons launched a full force attack against him.

Buffy tried to hold the demons off, but they were pretty strong. Angel managed to grab one of them and snap his neck easily. That left only three. One for each of them. They fought enthusiastically, but all at once they were jolted away from them, and went stumbling backwards. A curious white vapor began circling the remaining demons, and with a flash, they disintegrated right before their eyes.

"What the hell was that? How did they do that?" Buffy asked confused.

"I did it." Willow said calmly, magic still crackling at her fingertips. She had gotten over her fear of using magic in a bind. She knew enough to keep control of herself and only use it when necessary. And it had felt necessary tonight.

"Are you guys okay?" Buffy rushed over to them. "Fred? Are you hurt?"

Willow helped Fred stand and let her lean on her for support. "I'm alright. Just a bump."

"This was a trap." Willow spoke up next.

"Yeah, I got that. They were after _me_." Spike said angry at whoever had sent the hit men. If they wanted him they should have just left Willow and Fred out of it.

"They said you'd come. I don't know how they knew that." Willow shook her head.

"I had a vision. Why would the Powers set me up to die?" Spike asked Angel bitterly.

"I've got a strong hunch that vision didn't come from the Powers." Angel seethed. Lilah had pulled a fast one on them again. Phony visions. She'd done it with Cordelia, so why not Spike? Some things never changed.

"Then where did it come from?" Buffy asked.

"Lilah."

"She can send phony visions?" Buffy wondered.

Angel shook his head, "No, not personally. But she has ways."

"We need to step up this plan, Angel." Spike said seriously.

Angel nodded and looked over at Willow, "Did you finish what I asked you to do?"

"Yeah. It's all done. Fred and I took care of it."

"Okay good. We have to move on this fast, before it's too late."

"I'm ready whenever you are." Spike nodded his head. "Let's get this done."

What none of them were aware of was that they were being watched. Gunn stood across the street, hidden by a parked delivery truck. He had witnessed the entire attack. He shook his head angrily. He thought Lilah trusted him to get this job done, and yet she had sent a team off to usurp his position. He wasn't going to stand for that. He'd watched Fred and Willow as they left Wolfram and Hart. He intended to make sure they were safe. No sense in letting them get hurt in all this. Then he saw the demon hit squad pull out of the alley across the street and set off after them. He had jumped in his truck and kept a safe distance behind them, so as not to be detected.

He had been ready to leap into action when he saw that Willow and Fred were under attack. But before he could make a move, he saw Angel's car skidding around the corner. He saw Spike in the passenger seat, along with Buffy. It was no good. He knew immediately that somehow it was a setup. That someone else was trying to take out the vampire, instead of him. He'd have to have a little talk with Lilah.

Gunn marched back into Wolfram and Hart and headed straight to Lilah's secret lair. He swung the door open viciously, startling her.

"Gunn? What are you doing?"

"What the hell was that tonight?" He demanded to know.

"What?"

"Don't play that game with me. I saw the hit team. How'd you know Spike would show?"

She laughed slightly, "Phony vision. It works every time."

He moved forward and slammed his bag of weapons onto her desk. He pulled out a crossbow and aimed it at her.

"Call off your teams. The vampire is mine. I told you I'd get it done."

"Oh, I'm shaking." She said dripping with sarcasm. "You can't kill me with that." She reminded him.

He looked at it and shrugged, "Nah, it won't kill ya. But it'll hurt like hell."

"Look, Gunn..."

"It's Charles to you. Only my friends call me Gunn. You ain't my friend."

"Fine..._Charles_. I'm guessing by the fact you still feel you have a chance to win this; my pet demons must have failed. But you were taking too long to deliver what you promised. I got a little bored, so I sent someone else out." She explained.

"I've got a plan. But I gotta wait for the right time."

"Well, that time is now. Either you get it done, or I keep sending someone else until it is."

Gunn knew he'd have to move fast. He knew when it came to saving her own ass, Lilah was true to her word. She was impatient, so he had no choice but to step the plan up a bit. It'd have to happen tonight.

Buffy and Spike silently sat on the couch in the hotel lobby. Angel was in the office taking care of last minute details while Willow and Fred were upstairs. They knew that time was running out and they'd have to set this thing in motion, whether they were ready or not.

"Are you alright, Buffy?" Spike asked her softly.

"Yeah, I'm good." She nodded her head. "It's just...I worry we won't be able to pull this off."

"I thought you had confidence in Willow?"

"I do. It's not that. But if we can't pull this off...I'm going to lose you again." She whispered softly.

"No you won't."

"Yes I will. And I-I don't like that." She admitted.

"Well, it won't happen. I promise you." He took her hands and held them gently; lifting one up to give it a comforting kiss.

Just then, Angel walked into the room and saw the small display of affection between them. He pretended he hadn't seen though, and cleared his throat loudly when he walked further into the room. They let go of each others hands and Buffy looked at Angel.

"Did you get all the last minute-y stuff done?" She asked.

"All taken care of." He nodded his head, trying to ignore the couple on the couch. "Spike, I think Willow wanted to talk to you about the spell some more."

"She did? I thought we covered it?"

"I don't know. She just said she had some things to go over." Angel shrugged.

Spike sighed and stood up. He headed up the stairs to see what this was all about. Angel looked at Buffy, and contemplated just walking away and leaving her there. But he knew that wasn't what he should do. Instead, he sat down on the couch next to her and merely waited; sharing an uncomfortable silence with her.

"So...you and Spike...How's that going?" He asked finally, with a slightly bitter tone.

"It's going fine." She admitted softly, looking down at her hands instead of at him.

"Well, that's just...great." He choked on the words.

"It's not what you think, Angel. We—"

"It's okay Buffy. I get it. Spike's the one. You're all 'Look at me! I'm a cookie now!' and Spike's the one who gets to eat you." He said unhappily.

"Spike isn't eating me." She protested before she realized how dirty that sounded. "I-I mean, cookie me. Spike's not eating cookie me. I-I don't even know if I _am_ a cookie yet."

"Well, you're letting him lick the bowl at least."

"Okay, you know what? Let's drop the cookie metaphors." Buffy shook her head.

"You're the one who came up with that, I was just going along." He reminded her.

"Look Angel, I don't know what's happening between Spike and me. It's complicated."

"But you're in love with him. I'm not stupid. Anyone can see that."

"You're mad at me, aren't you?" She asked quietly.

"Mad at you? No. Why would I be mad? The heart wants what it wants, Buffy. We learned that lesson together, remember? Love isn't something you plan for or have control over. It just is." He told her sincerely, as his bitterness waned a little.

"So then you're okay with me and Spike—"

He shook his head vigorously, "No way. I think it's a terrible idea. You deserve so much better than that, Buffy." He informed her. "But if you love the guy? I can't stop you."

"No you can't." She nodded her head slowly.

"I've given up trying to convince you how to run your life. I can't tell you the choices you should or shouldn't make. I know now that only _you_ know for sure what the right thing is for yourself. In the end, it doesn't really matter what I, or anyone else, think."

"Thank you Angel." She whispered quietly as she touched his face. It was a gesture of caring and friendship. His semi-approval meant a lot to her.

"But for the record? I still hate him." He smiled slightly at her.

She laughed softly and shook her head. He reached over and pulled her to him, bringing her into a friendly embrace. It was a gesture between two people who had shared a lot, yet knew that their love story had ended long ago. But there were no bitter feelings anymore. It had been a purely innocent exchange. But Spike had interpreted it very differently. He stood at the top of the stairs witnessing Buffy tenderly touching Angel's cheek, sharing laughter, and then the embrace. It made his stomach turn. Buffy was probably telling Angel the same thing she had told him earlier. Maybe she was playing both of them? She couldn't make up her mind, so she wanted to string them both along for the ride until she did.

But he refused to think about that now. They had work to do. Important work that his very life depended on. He'd have to save the jealous rampage for another time. He came bounding down the stairs loudly, announcing his presence. Angel and Buffy pulled away from each other and Angel stood up.

"Did you talk to Willow?" He asked Spike.

He nodded his head, "Yeah. It's all set now."

"Good."

Before Spike had a chance to say anything else, the double doors burst open revealing Charles Gunn. In one hand, he had a crossbow aimed at Angel. And in the other hand, was a tranquilizer gun pointed directly at Spike.

Before anyone had time to react, Gunn shot off the tranquilizer dart, hitting Spike squarely on the neck. He clutched at it desperately but went down like a stone in a seconds. Gunn scrambled to grab Spike and hoist him over his shoulder, never taking his aim off Angel.

"See you guys in Hell." Gunn remarked with a smirk as he shot off the crossbow hitting Angel in the shoulder. He then ran out the door with an unconscious Spike draped over him, never looking back at the people he'd left behind.

Lilah sat in her office smiling to herself as she watched a live video feed of Gunn's surprise attack. Unbeknownst to anyone, she had recently planted a surveillance camera in the lobby of the hotel. She'd had to. Angel and his crew had quickly figured out that Wolfram and Hart wasn't a safe meeting place anymore. So they'd moved the entire operation back to the Hyperion. She couldn't risk being out of the loop, so she'd sent someone over to set up a camera. It was ingenious if she did say so herself. She let out a small, satisfied sigh. Finally things were turning in her favor.


	6. My Soul To Keep

**Disclaimer:** I own none of the characters here. I just use them so I can have the story I want to see, and pretend Buffy isn't actually over.

**Author's Note:** This is part six of my series titled **Fortune Favors The Brave**. It's titled **My Soul To Keep.**

**Summary:** Everyone races off intent on rescuing Spike from Wolfram and Hart's clutches. Will their plans work? Meanwhile, with Dawn's help, Connor copes with his memories, as Willow informs Angel of something that could alter Angel's existence completely. In the process Willow is lured by a tempting offer.

**Rating:** PG-13

**::Fortune Favors The Brave::**

**My Soul To Keep**

Gunn sped off into the night with Spike slumped on the passenger side of his truck. He was making a beeline for Wolfram and Hart, but he knew Angel and the others would not be far behind. He sped up.

Meanwhile, Angel was wincing as he yanked the arrow out of his shoulder.

"Damn it! Why do I always get shot at?" He complained painfully.

Buffy ignored him and grabbed a duffle bag full of weapons. She shouted up the stairs.

"Willow! Fred! Now!"

They came rushing down the stairs at Buffy's frantic cries.

"Now? But we—"

"I know. Plans changed. Let's go."

Willow ran back upstairs and grabbed her backpack. She raced down the stairs and ran outside to join the others. Angel's car was already running and she jumped into the backseat. Before she even got all the way in, Angel sped off. Buffy grabbed Angel's cell phone from the glove compartment and dialed quickly.

"Wes? It's happened." She said plainly into the phone.

"Tonight? I thought—"

"I know Wes. Just get to Wolfram and Hart. We're already on our way." She closed the phone and tossed it back into the glove box.

She leaned back and closed her eyes. She hadn't been happy at the sight of Spike being shot and carted out of there. It had happened so fast she didn't even have time to react. She was startled when Gunn had sprung a surprise attack. They hadn't seen that coming at all tonight. She was angry at herself for just standing there, staring in surprise, as Spike was kidnapped right in front of her. She had been utterly useless. She had fought countless evils, including a hellgod, and here she was rendered ineffectual by one measly man with a dart gun and a crossbow.

Angel saw her out of the corner of his eye, and noticed that she seemed troubled by what had just happened.

"It's not your fault Buffy. Neither of us reacted." Angel tried to reassure her.

"I know. But if...Well, I should have at least done something, don't you think?"

"We didn't know that was going to happen. But it's not—"

"I know. I guess I was just a little distracted tonight." She admitted.

They pulled onto the street where the offices were and saw up ahead in the distance the large skyscraper that was Wolfram and Hart. They saw Gunn's truck parked haphazardly in front, in the no parking zone. Wes screeched around the corner at that exact moment and ended up just in front of the convertible. It was a good thing Willow had returned the car earlier or else Wesley might have been walking to Wolfram and Hart.

They all reached the building at the same time and everyone jumped out of their vehicles. Wes rushed up to Angel.

"It happened tonight? I thought we weren't moving on this until tomorrow?" He asked him.

"We weren't. But plans were unavoidably changed. Gunn took us by surprise."

"He did?"

"I don't have time to catch you up right now. But everything else is the same."

Wes nodded as they entered the main lobby of Wolfram and Hart. The security officer jumped up to greet them, but Wes shot off a tranquilizer dart and brought him down before he had a chance to speak. Willow, Buffy and Fred had gone a different way. Angel knew of a secret entrance where a person could enter without being detected. Wes and Angel marched towards the elevators knowing that every move they made would be captured on film. Lilah was probably watching at this very minute. Smiling smugly in the knowledge that she had won this game. And that Gunn had turned on them all. Angel knew that little fact was bound to give Lilah a major happy.

They exited the elevator and began randomly kicking in doors with their weapons poised. They were making an attempt to locate where Gunn had taken Spike. It was a fruitless effort as there were hundreds of offices that they could have been occupying. But they had to try.

Buffy, Willow and Fred entered a tunnel behind the parking garage. Angel had given them explicit instructions how to get where they were going. Fred and Willow had already tested the tunnel out, but it was new to Buffy.

"Are you sure this is the right way?" She asked them in a hushed tone.

Fred nodded, "Yup. Willow and I took the grand tour yesterday."

"It smells funky down here." Buffy wrinkled her nose.

"I know. But I-I guess it would be pretty funky seeing as how there were like a hundred dead lawyers down here a few months back." Fred explained.

"Eww..." Buffy uttered with disgust.

They kept on walking until they reached the end of the darkened tunnel. There was a rock that jutted out of the wall that no one would notice unless they knew exactly what they were looking for. And they did. Willow pushed it in and the stone wall lifted away revealing another dimly lit tunnel. They entered and the stone wall slammed shut behind them.

Gunn made his way to Lilah's office with Spike still draped over his shoulder. She had watched him as he strode into to the secret elevator that went straight down to a suite of offices where the top secret employees resided. She was the only one still in her office at this hour. She had been expecting Gunn to arrive tonight, and he hadn't disappointed. She observed him looking over his shoulder and glancing at his watch every few seconds. She began to wonder why he seemed so distracted. But then she realized he was probably just being cautious. He wasn't a fool. He knew that Angel and his cronies wouldn't be far behind. And he was right.

She smiled to herself knowing that Angel and Wes were completely barking up the wrong tree. She had been watching them smash in doors on the twentieth floor. It would take them a week to smash through every office on every floor, and they'd never even be aware that there was more office space housed underneath the building.

Gunn kicked the door in and entered the room. He plopped Spike onto the ground roughly and smiled at Lilah.

"You lookin' for this?" He asked.

Lilah stood and walked around her desk to take a closer look at the package Gunn had just delivered.

"Ah...So that's Spike? He looks bigger on TV." She remarked, recalling her observation of him on the surveillance camera. She gave his unconscious form another once over and grinned. "I guess I can see why that little blonde Slayer can't keep her hands off him though." She chuckled to herself.

"Enough of the chit-chat. I delivered him. Where's my money?"

"Did you think I'd keep half a million dollars stuffed in my bra?" She asked sarcastically. "Obviously I don't have the money with me. But you'll get it." She assured him.

"I'd better."

She ignored him as she continued to examine Spike with a watchful eye. Her mind was already racing in anticipation of the bonus Holland had promised her if she could deliver the vampire still alive. Gunn's eyes were transfixed on the closed circuit televisions that lined the back wall of the office. He saw Buffy, Willow and Fred emerge from a supply closet on the second floor. He began to sweat nervously as Lilah stood up and began to head back to her chair. Just as she turned her head towards the televisions, the three women disappeared from the screen. Gunn closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

Lilah began chuckling to herself when her eyes went back to Angel and Wesley still hard at work on the twentieth floor. She swung her chair around and faced Gunn who still hadn't moved from the spot where he was rooted. She opened up her filing cabinet and pulled out a large wooden box. She set it on the desk in front of her. Gunn silently wondered if that was the money he'd been promised.

"How long is he out for?" She asked him curiously.

"A coupla' hours. I got him good."

She opened the box revealing a set of chains and shackles. She pushed them over towards him.

"Here. Take these."

"What's this? A present? I ain't into bondage." He told her sarcastically.

"They're for the vampire." She sighed. "Chain him up and then you can go."

"Like hell. I ain't leavin' till I get my money. That was the deal."

"You'll get it. Wolfram and Hart wants to keep you happy, Charles. You've proven yourself to be a valuable asset to our little family." She assured him.

He reluctantly nodded his head and took the box of chains. He bent down and attempted to restrain Spike. Spike's eyes opened like a shot and Gunn reacted quickly by shaking his head. Spike closed his eyes again.

"Bloody hell." Spike muttered under his breath.

"What?" Lilah asked, hearing the muttering.

"Nothing. I was just cursing these damn chains. They're tricky. I told ya I wasn't into the bondage." Gunn explained.

"Do you need help?"

"Nah, I'm cool."

_Damn it..._ Gunn thought to himself. Where the hell were the others? He couldn't stall much longer. After a minute or two, Gunn strained his neck towards the open door trying to see if he could see anything in the hallway. At first he saw nothing, but just as he was about to look away again, he saw Willow and Buffy approaching Lilah's office. They stood silently two doors down, waiting for the go ahead. _Finally_... Gunn thought to himself. He rattled the chains a few more times for good measure and stood up to face Lilah.

"He's all trussed up like a turkey on Thanksgiving." He informed her.

"Good." She smiled with satisfaction.

Just then, Buffy and Willow waltzed into the room, startling Lilah. She had been watching the camera that was trained on the corridor outside her office. No one had come or gone since Gunn had entered the office, and yet there was the Slayer and the witch staring at her. Looking none too pleased, she noted.

In confusion Lilah asked, "How did you—"

She was interrupted when Spike leapt to his feet and tossed the unfastened chains to the floor. Lilah stood quickly, shocked at Spike's appearance.

"Surprise." Spike said with a smirk.

"What the hell is going on here?" Lilah demanded to know.

"Told ya I couldn't figure out the chains. He musta' broke loose." Gunn shrugged innocently.

Her eyes darted back and forth between the two men, trying to discern what exactly was happening here. She reached for the phone to call security but Gunn snatched the phone out of her hand and smashed it on the edge of the desk. Buffy stepped forward and touched Spike's arm.

"You okay?" Buffy asked.

He nodded, "Tranquilizer burns like hell going in. You didn't tell me you were using a real one." He told Gunn as he rubbed the sore spot on his neck.

"I improvised." Gunn shrugged. "Sides' it was only a little. Enough to keep you quiet on the ride over."

Lilah interrupted their exchange. Her fury was directed at Gunn.

"You set me up."

"You think?" Gunn asked with a satisfied grin.

"You could have made a name for yourself, Charles. You were well on your way with Wolfram and Hart, and now you're nothing again. No real skills. No real superpowers like the rest of the get along gang. You blew it." She hissed venomously.

"No skills my ass. I should get an Academy Award for that little performance." He scoffed. "Sides' I ain't sellin' my soul again. I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt."

"Looks like it wasn't _me_ who didn't know who was on my side." Angel said casually as he waltzed into the room with Wes behind him.

Lilah seethed with anger and confusion as she turned around and looked at her televisions. She saw Wesley and Angel still knocking down doors on the twentieth floor. And then she remembered the fact that earlier Willow and Buffy hadn't appeared on the hallway camera either. She realized they'd mangled the video feeds. She whirled around again and faced them.

"Look at us go, Wes." Angel laughed with amusement as they witnessed themselves kicking in doors on the TV.

"What the—"

"Turns out that Willow is a computer expert, Lilah." Angel informed her, pleased with the streaming loop of video that Willow and Fred had set up for them.

"I thought she was a witch." Lilah muttered with displeasure.

"I am. I'm multi-talented." Willow smiled.

Lilah just stood there staring at them all. She was pissed off at having been duped. She glared at Wesley who up until this point had said nothing at all.

"Congratulations Wes. You finally picked a side." She snickered. "You people think you've won, don't you? You haven't. You can't win this. Wolfram and Hart will prevail. We always do." She assured them.

"Well, maybe we can't win the war? But we _can_ win this battle. Starting with you." Angel informed her.

"You can't hurt—"

Before Lilah could finish her sentence, Spike pulled a vial of powder from his jacket pocket. He broke it open and threw it onto Lilah. She coughed and sputtered, having gotten some of the substance into her mouth.

"Contain!" Willow said boldly.

At that moment, Buffy reached into her pocket and poured a different powder in a circle around Lilah. Lilah tried to move, but found she no longer could. Whatever Spike had thrown onto her paralyzed her. And the circle that Buffy had made now held her prisoner.

"Let me go!"

"I don't think so." Willow gave her a steely gaze.

She then began to pass out candles of various colors to everyone. All Lilah could do was watch helplessly. Everyone lit their candles, and Willow began walking the outline of the circle that contained Lilah, dripping red wax along the edges. She began to chant.

"God of the righteous I beseech thee. Deliver her from evil. Destroy the bond that knows no bounds."

"What are you doing?" Lilah asked them, terror spreading over her face. She looked at Wes. "Do something Wes! Don't let them do this...What's happening to me?"

"Something that should have happened a long time ago, Lilah." He said seriously.

Willow continued, "God of humanity, restore her soul and grant her passage into the eternal life. Forgive her trespasses and allow her into the light everlasting. Return what was hers. What was lost will now be found."

A white light engulfed Lilah and she cried out in pain.

"There's that pesky soul returning." Spike muttered. "It stings a bit at first." He informed everyone.

Angel nodded his head, "It really does." He agreed.

Lilah stopped screaming and looked at everyone, the white light still surrounding her. It was as if she was waking from a deep sleep. Her soul had been signed away years ago. It had never really left her, but it had been clouded by evil. It hadn't truly belonged to her for years. Everything she did was for Wolfram and Hart. But now her soul belonged to her again. And she felt it. Along with the realization of everything she'd done to get to this point.

"I'm sorry." She told them all. And Wes actually believed she meant it. But he refused to let it touch him. It was too late now.

She disappeared with a flash and the room remained silent. She was gone. Lilah's soul had been returned to her, removed from the clutches of Wolfram and Hart. She was free at last.

Angel looked over at Wes who didn't appear affected by what had happened. But Angel knew him better than that. He touched him on the arm.

"She'll be okay now, Wes." He assured him.

"I know." He nodded.

It had been Wes's insistence that Lilah not be banished to Hell. She'd already lived a hellish existence since joining Wolfram and Hart. He had tried to free her spirit once before, by burning the contract. It hadn't helped. But he'd never stopped researching a way around that. He knew now that he did love Lilah. Somehow, someway. But it hadn't been enough to save her. But he hoped this final act of kindness towards her had more than let her know what he had felt for her.

Angel shot a glance in Gunn's direction.

"Nice work. But what was with the surprise attack?" He asked.

Gunn shrugged, "I had to man. Lilah was getting antsy. You saw what happened earlier. Fred got hurt. I couldn't wait." He explained. "Besides, it seemed a bit more realistic when you didn't see it comin'." He added with a smile.

"Was it really necessary to shoot me? We didn't agree to that." Angel reminded him.

"Hey, it's all about the realism." Gunn said with a satisfied grin.

Just then Fred ran into the office. She had been stationed in the hub of the security office, manning the computer generated images that Lilah had been observing. Fred had knocked the security guard out with a sleeping powder Willow had made, and Fred took over the controls.

"Is it over? Did it work?" She asked excitedly, noting that Lilah wasn't in the room with them.

"It worked. She's gone." Wes informed her quietly.

"Willow was brilliant." Buffy remarked with a smile.

"Thank you Buffy." Willow grinned, feeling satisfied with her work. "I couldn't have done it without Fred though. It was her idea to mess with the video feeds." Willow acknowledged.

"It was no big deal." Fred waved her hand dismissively.

"It was! It was a huge deal." Willow assured her.

"Guys, as much I'd love to sit here and pat each other on the back all night...we better get moving. The guards won't be out forever." Angel reminded them.

"Right." Buffy agreed.

They all grabbed their things and headed out of the office. Once at the elevators Wes hung back.

"I'm going to gather the rest of what we need for phase two." He told them.

"Don't get caught." Angel reminded him with a small smile.

Wes nodded, "I'll meet up with you guys later."

They all knew that this was far from over. Lilah may have been out of the picture now, but they weren't so cocky as to think they'd actually won. As long as Wolfram and Hart remained active, someone else would just move right into her place. They'd never give up until the visions were gone and the last link that Angel held with The Powers That Be was severed.

Everyone, except Wes, walked back into the hotel a short time later. Buffy threw her weapons bag down by the door. She hadn't really needed it, but they'd wanted to make it seem that they were ready for battle. She glanced up at the large chandelier above her.

"Can we do something about that camera now? I feel all wiggy knowing someone's watching us." She remarked.

"Allow me." Gunn said to her as he pulled out his trusty crossbow again. He aimed for the light fixture and hit the tiny camera device that was hidden there. It smashed under the force of the arrow, along with a few of the light bulbs. Glass rained down onto the floor and Buffy jumped back.

"Nice aim." Angel said mockingly.

"Shut your mouth. My aim is sharp! Lucky for you. Or else you'd be a little pile of dust right now." He reminded him.

"We're done here tonight, right? No more surprises?" Willow asked wearily. The spell had zapped her energy a bit, not to mention it was almost 2am.

"No more surprises. Honest." Gunn assured her.

"I'm gonna hit the sack then." Willow announced.

"Me too. I've kinda got a headache from that bump to the head." Fred told them.

They headed upstairs, leaving Buffy, Angel, Gunn and Spike alone. Gunn plopped himself down on the couch and put his feet up with a satisfied sigh.

"Damn, it's good to be home!" He exclaimed. "Living in that roach motel down the block was killing me, man."

"You shouldn't complain. You used to live on the streets." Angel remembered.

"Yeah? Well, not no more. I'm all spoiled now." He smiled. "Do you think I could still get the money Lilah offered?"

"Nice try. But no. I'm pretty sure that whoever was pulling Lilah's strings, isn't going to be parting with that cash any time soon."

"Worth a shot." Gunn sighed. "I'm going up to _my_ room and sleep in _my_ nice warm bed. Catch you guys later." Gunn stood up and headed up the stairs.

And then there were three. Spike had been eerily silent pretty much the entire ride home. And now he was just leaning against the banister, seemingly lost in thought. Buffy glanced at him.

"Are you okay Spike?"

"I'm fine. Still a little woozy from the tranquilizer." He lied. "I'm going to bed too." He turned around to leave and Buffy stopped him.

"Do you need help?"

"Walking up the stairs? Got it covered." He said icily.

"I-I just meant if you were woozy..."

"I'm fine. Goodnight." He turned around again and went upstairs.

Buffy knew something was wrong and he just wasn't telling her. Maybe he thought she didn't do enough to save him earlier? She had already chided herself for that. But he couldn't really blame her for that, could he? Gunn _had_ surprised them, but at the same time, she knew this would happen. It was all part of the plan. It just wasn't supposed to happen tonight. It's not like he was ever in any real danger. But maybe it was the fact that if he was, she had just stood there and done nothing. That had to be why he was mad.

Angel touched Buffy on the arm, jolting her out of her inner turmoil.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

She shook her head, "No." Then, "Did Spike seem mad at me?"

Angel shrugged, "I didn't notice. He was a little quiet though."

"Exactly. Quiet. Spike's never quiet."

"I'm sure it's nothing Buffy. He's probably just thinking about what's next. This isn't over yet, you know."

"I know. Maybe you're right...I guess I should get going too before Dad starts asking where the hell I've been all night." She said with a sigh.

"He still doesn't know you're a Slayer, does he?"

"Are you kidding? No way. He's having a hard enough time grasping the fact that I'm not 12 years old anymore." She laughed slightly.

"I'll see you later then." Angel smiled at her. "Thanks for your help."

"You don't have to thank me. I didn't really do all that much." She admitted.

"Still..."

"I'll see you later, Angel." She went to leave, but turned around again. "And thanks for before...you know, about the whole Spike thing."

He looked down at his feet and wished he could tell her she was making a huge mistake. But he couldn't. And it wasn't because he knew it wasn't his place, it was because he knew he didn't really believe that. If he hadn't of had this stupid curse, who knows what would be happening now. Would he and Buffy still be together? Would anything else have kept them apart? His desire for her to have a normal life didn't seem applicable now. Buffy no longer strived for that. If he didn't have the curse, maybe they'd still be able to find some happiness together. He wasn't sure. But he knew without a doubt he'd not be thinking about whether it was wrong or right for them to find that happiness together. Not anymore. And that's where Buffy's head was at now. She merely wanted happiness. And if Spike brought that to her, who was he to say it was wrong?

In the end, Angel said nothing. He gave her a half smile and a nod. He couldn't bring himself to approve or disapprove. He just acknowledged her thanks, and let her go. She smiled back at him, and went out the door. Angel sighed and rubbed his eyes. It had been a very long day. Too long. More had happened in the last twenty-four hours than he could even comprehend at this point. He turned around to head upstairs himself.

Spike stood at the top of the landing, staring wordlessly as Angel ascended the stairs.

"What? No kiss goodnight?" Spike finally asked indignantly.

"I can barely stand looking at you, let alone kissing you." Angel responded tiredly.

"I didn't mean me, you git. I meant Buffy."

"Okay...Why would I kiss Buffy?"

"Why not? Seems like it's what you two do best." Spike informed him, jealousy rising in his chest.

"What the hell are you even talking about Spike? Is this about what happened when I was in Sunnydale? Cause it's a little late to get bent out of shape over that."

"This is about what I saw tonight. You two all cozy and cuddling on the couch earlier. Tender touches, laughter...embracing. What were you two laughing about anyway? Me? Was it about how stupid I am for believing Buffy actually gave a bloody damn about me?" He asked filled with anger.

"Oh my god, Spike...You're insane, you know that? Nothing is happening between me and Buffy." Angel said shaking his head.

"Is that right? Well then what was that all about earlier?"

"If you really must know, we _were_ talking about you. But—"

"I knew it!" Spike shouted. "I knew you were laughing at me."

"I said we were _talking_, not _laughing_." Angel protested. "Look, Buffy was telling me how much you mean to her. That you're the one, Spike. Not me. It's you. And if you don't stop being such a jealous moron, you're gonna screw it up."

Spike just stood there staring at Angel. This had been Angel's best shot to make Spike insane with jealousy. He could have told him that he was right, Buffy didn't care about him. But he didn't. He was telling him the opposite. It made no sense.

"Isn't this what you wanted to hear Spike? She loves you. Sick as it makes me, she does. Happy now?" Angel asked.

"She really said she loved me?"

"Do you think I'd lie about that? Don't tell me you didn't know."

Spike shook his head, "No I knew...I just...I..." He fumbled for words.

"You didn't believe her?"

"No." Spike admitted. "How could I? Why _would_ she love me?"

"You're asking the wrong person, Spike." Angel told him.

"I wanted to believe her. But I couldn't. Not really."

"Well, apparently she does. So stop acting like an idiot. She thinks you're mad at her." Angel informed him.

"Well, I _was _mad at her. But—"

"Don't blow this, Spike. You're getting a chance at something you probably don't deserve. So don't mess it up. And if you hurt her I _will_ make you wish you had stayed dead." He said seriously.

Spike was still in a state of shock. The last few hours he had done nothing but stew over the perceived wrong that had been perpetrated against him. He was fully prepared to hate them both. But instead, Angel was telling Spike that Buffy wanted _him_. That she and Angel _really _were over.

"I guess I made quite the ass of myself." Spike admitted under his breath.

"It's not the first time."

"Thanks." Spike said with annoyance. "Don't tell her that I—"

"I'm not going to tell her anything. This is between you and her. I'm not a part of this." Angel told him.

"Thank you." He said sincerely this time.

"Don't thank me. It's not like I'm offering you her hand in marriage. I'm just not standing in the way of what she wants. Buffy isn't mine to give. She makes her own decisions." Angel told him. "Even if, in this case, I think she's completely lost her mind." He added.

Spike laughed slightly. Normally he'd come back with some witty retort, but he had none. Angel was probably right. Buffy very possibly _had_ lost her mind to fall in love with him.

"Goodnight, Angel." Spike said finally. There was no use in trying to talk anymore. Everything had already been said.

Angel nodded and pushed past Spike down the hallway. It was a truce of sorts. They'd never be friends, but they were existing in the same space now without killing each other. And that was something.

The next afternoon Dawn went to see Connor. He had called her to let her know he was okay, and that he was sorry he left her without saying anything. She was just relieved to know that he was alright. But she had been really surprised when she found out he'd gone to see Angel. She hadn't expected that.

She walked up the stairs to his dorm again. The hallways were bustling with activity. Winter break was only a few days away, and it seemed everyone was either partying already, or busily studying for semester finals. She pushed past a couple that was arguing loudly with each other, and came to Connor's door. She knocked loudly.

"Come in!" She heard him call out.

She opened the door and stepped inside, shutting it behind her. The screaming couple was semi-drowned out, but it was still pretty noisy. She walked over to where he was sitting on the bed with his books spread out before him.

"How can you even study with all this noise?" She asked him curiously, as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

He shrugged, "You don't even hear it after awhile."

"That's good." She smiled. "So, is that hard?"

"Is what hard?"

"What you're working on. It looks complicated." She pointed to the Physics book in front of him.

"It's alright. Easier than learning Sumerian." He noted with a smile.

She laughed slightly. "I bet it's kinda hard to concentrate with everything else that's going on."

He nodded, "It is. But you were right. Life does go on. It has to. I mean, I could just drop out if I wanted to. It's not like I _really_ belong here. I never even went to high school. Or any school for that matter. They didn't stress the importance of education in the part Hell where I grew up." He said with more sarcasm than bitterness.

"I guess not." She laughed slightly. "So are you doing okay?"

He was quiet for a moment, then he nodded.

"I'm getting by. It's only been two days. I think I'm still in shock. Sometimes I forget that I'm Connor, and suddenly I'm just Steve again. It's kinda weird."

"I bet it is kinda strange to have two sets of memories. I-I don't really remember being a green ball of energy."

"It is strange. I think I just don't know where I belong now." He admitted. "My mom called me this morning...She wanted to know if I was still coming home for Christmas. But I couldn't even talk to her. It felt false. Knowing that she's not really my mom at all...she's a stranger."

Dawn shook her head, "No, she's not. She _is_ your mom. She still loves you."

"But she doesn't know me. She only knows whatever the spell told her to know. How can I explain to her that I'm not who she thinks I am?"

"You don't. She doesn't need to know, Connor. She wouldn't understand." She told him.

"No, she wouldn't. I don't understand it either. That's the problem." He said unhappily as he stared at his hands.

"I know." She touched his arm gently.

He looked up at her, "What did you think about Angel when you first met him? Did you know he was a vampire?" He asked curiously.

"No, I didn't. I was really young. I didn't really understand all of that at first. But I thought he was cute." She admitted.

"Cute?"

"I was just a kid! I thought Buffy was totally lucky to have such a cool boyfriend. But she didn't know he was a vampire at first either."

"What happened when she did find out? Did she hate him?"

"No...She still loved him. She was confused, I think, at first. But it didn't matter to her. He wasn't evil anymore."

"But didn't she care about the things he had done when he _was_ evil? Didn't that bother her? Especially since she's a vampire Slayer. She's meant to kill them, not fall in love with them." He said not understanding Buffy's motives.

"I know...I think it did bother her knowing the things he'd done...But he was different. I-I guess she just looked past it all. It's the same with Spike." She told him.

"Spike...yeah, I don't get that. Are there a lot of vampires out there with souls? Is this some new trend?"

"Well, Angel was cursed with a soul. But Spike actually sought one out."

"Why would Spike seek out a soul?"

"Because he loved Buffy and wanted to change. At least that's what he told me."

"But I remember my fath—I mean Holtz...Holtz told me that vampires were unequivocally evil. No chance at _ever _changing, soul or not. He was adamant about it." He remembered aloud.

"Well, I guess that Holtz guy wasn't entirely right. They _can_ change. And a soul _does_ make a difference."

"Do you think I have a soul?" He asked softly.

"Of course you do! Why wouldn't you?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. My mother didn't have one. Angel doesn't even know if I'm entirely human."

"Well, you _do_ have a soul. Angel told Buffy that when Darla was pregnant, she felt your soul inside her. It made her kind of crazy."

"Yeah, crazy enough that she ended up staking herself." He recalled hearing that story before.

"I think it was because she wasn't used to it or the way it made her feel. But she felt it because of you and she did love you."

"A vampire can't love. Not without a soul."

"I-I don't think that's true. Spike loved Buffy without a soul."

Connor closed his eyes and sighed. He leaned back into the pillows on his bed and frowned.

"This is all too complicated for me. There are so many questions..."

"We don't have to talk about it anymore, if you don't want to. We could talk about something else." She offered.

"I really don't feel like talking about anything at all." He informed her.

She was surprised and saddened at his words. Maybe she was just pushing him too hard? Maybe Steve had liked her, but Connor didn't? Maybe it was wrong of her to assume they were still a couple.

"Okay. Well, I can just go." She said softly as she stood up to leave.

He grabbed her arm to stop her.

"No, don't go."

"I-I thought you said you didn't want to talk anymore?"

"I don't. But that doesn't mean you have to leave."

"Oh. Okay." She smiled at him.

He pulled her down onto the bed with him. She snuggled up to him, and rested her head against his chest. And they just lay there, wordlessly, comfortably sharing the silence. This was exactly the type of comfort Connor needed now. He didn't want to talk, or think or be angry anymore. He just wanted to feel safe and loved. Dawn made him feel that. She was special. Maybe if he had met her a year ago, his life would have turned out differently? He didn't know. And he knew he never would know. But there was no use at wondering what might have been, when he had now to think of. And now wasn't as bad as he expected it to be.

Wesley entered the hotel with a box under his arm. Willow and Fred were sitting behind the counter at a table putting together small protection amulets for everyone to carry with them. The next phase of the plan was a little tricky, and they needed all the help they could get. Fred looked up when Wes entered.

"Hey. What's all that?" She asked him.

"Just some things I gathered last night."

"Are these the contracts?" Willow wondered curiously.

He nodded, "Copies. The originals can't be removed from the premises. I've already attempted that."

Willow took the box out of his hands, "I'll take them in back. I want to look over them."

He allowed her to take the box and usher it away to the next room. He looked at Fred and she started to say something, but stopped.

"What is it?" He asked her.

She waved her hand in the air dismissively, "It's nothing. It's not really any of my business." She told him.

He was ready to let it go, when suddenly she spoke again. "It's just...I was wondering...Did you actually love Lilah?"

He looked at her wearily and sat down across from her. He pushed the amulets to the side and rested his elbows on the table. He buried his face in his hands for a moment, rubbing his temples to apparently make the answer come more easily. Or maybe it was because he couldn't look Fred square in the eye when he did answer her.

"I cared for Lilah deeply." He finally admitted.

Fred said nothing at first and just played with the little squares of leather that they were using for the amulets.

"You think I made a mistake not allowing Willow to send her to Hell, don't you?" He asked, interpreting her silence as disapproval.

"Maybe."

"I realize that Lilah was not a good person, Fred. She was duplicitous and conniving...sometimes evil. But she wasn't always that way." He attempted to defend his feelings for her.

"Yeah, I know. She was corrupted by Wolfram and Hart. But she wasn't helpless. She made all those choices herself, Wesley. I-I just think that setting her free was maybe more than she deserved." Fred offered her opinion.

"Perhaps." He said softly. "But sometimes we don't do things because someone deserves it. We do it because it's the right thing to do."

"Do you really think what we did for her was the _right_ thing? She was responsible for—"

"I know what she was responsible for, Fred. I was there. And maybe it _was_ a mistake. I don't see the difference it makes to anyone else but me _where_ she went; she's gone now and that's what we were after."

She nodded her head, "Yeah, I guess you're right. I-I'm sorry. I don't know why I even brought it up. I-I think I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep."

"Me neither. I didn't—"

"Wes? Can you come here a minute?" Willow called out, interrupting him.

He excused himself from the table and walked back into the office.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Who is this?" She held up a scanned photograph for him to examine.

"That's Holland Manners. He used to be one of the higher-ups at Wolfram and Hart."

"_Used_ to be? What happened to him?"

"He died. Angel fed him to Drusilla and Darla a few years ago." He recalled to her.

"He what?"

"He fed—"

Willow waved his response away, "Never mind, I don't wanna know." She said quickly. Then, "Are you sure he's dead?"

"What do you mean? Do think he may have some sort of perpetuity clause like Lilah had?"

"I-I don't know. But when Cordelia came to me, when she told me that someone was after her, his picture was on the wall. She looked at it like it was important, but I'd forgotten about it until I saw him again just now." She explained.

"What had you forgotten until just now?" Angel asked as he entered the office.

"Holland Manners. Willow thinks he may still be alive." Wes informed him.

"What?"

Willow held up the photograph again, "I saw this guy's picture on the wall when Cordelia visited me. She indicated that he may be the one after her."

"Damn it. I should have figured that out. Of course he's behind this. I knew he wasn't really dead, because that would make sense." Angel said angry with himself for ignoring what seemed obvious to him now.

"You knew he wasn't really dead?" Wes asked with surprise.

"Well, I didn't _know_. But a few years ago, not long after he died, he came to me. Took me on a little elevator ride to Hell. Imparted some evil wisdom, then left. I figured it was just a one time deal. But that's what Lilah said too, and we all know that was a lie."

"You went on an elevator ride to Hell?" Willow asked disbelieving.

"Long story, for another time." He told her. "We need to find out if Holland is in fact back. Because if he is, then he's the one that was pulling Lilah's strings. I'm sure of it."

"Okay, but what do we do when we find him? Y-you don't want me to do the same spell on him I did to Lilah, do you?" Willow inquired.

Angel shook his head, "No. That's not gonna cut it. He's at a completely different level than Lilah was. She was taking orders from him."

"And he takes orders directly from the Senior Partners." Wes added.

"It shouldn't matter." Willow told them. "I-I can still go ahead with phase two. If it works, this Holland guy won't have anyone left to do his dirty work."

"There's always going to be someone." Angel reminded her. "It didn't take long to completely re-staff thousands of loyal employees. Getting rid of them again is only a temporary fix."

"I know. But it's the best we can do for now. Besides, the main objective now is to get you out of this contract."

"Willow's right. Holland's presence won't affect us at this point." Wes agreed.

"But what about Spike? He's still vulnerable. As long as he has the visions, he's not safe. Holland isn't going to just let that go."

"Well, that's something we'll work out in phase three."

"We don't have a phase three, Willow." Angel answered.

"Well, we should! I-I'm only one witch. I can't fix everything all at once." She protested.

"I didn't mean to sound demanding. I was just saying—"

"I know what you were saying, and you're right. He won't be safe. But we can't worry about that now. He's not in any immediate danger anymore since Lilah's gone. We'll deal with it later."

Angel backed off. He wasn't trying to overwhelm Willow with details, but that was exactly what he was doing. His mind was racing. It always seemed that when one issue was handled another one cropped up. But that was the story of his life these last five years. He had to realize that Willow was right. You can't fix everything. He may have some kind of superpowers, just as she did, but that didn't mean they were miracle workers. He had to accept that and deal with one crisis at a time.

Buffy showed up at the Hyperion just after sundown. She was still worried that Spike was mad at her for some reason, but she figured whatever it was, it probably passed. They'd all been tired and irritable last night. It was probably nothing. But for some reason she was nervous to see him, which seemed to indicate she wasn't _entirely_ confident it was nothing.

She walked into the hotel to find Spike and Gunn playing poker with Fred and Lorne. They were seated on the floor around a coffee table, and seemed to be having quite a good time. No one even noticed when she walked into the room.

"Hey guys. What's up?" She asked them.

"Poker." Gunn told her as he shuffled the cards. "Fifty bucks gets you in."

"Fifty?"

"Hey, that's my girl you're tryin' to rob." Spike scolded him. "He meant to say twenty." He told Buffy with a small smile.

Buffy laughed slightly, and Gunn shook his head. "She's rich ain't she? I was just tryin' to make things interesting."

"Well, actually my dad is the rich one. I barely have five dollars. Do you take American Express?" She joked.

Spike smiled at her and stood up from the floor. "Count me out on this one. I need to talk to Buffy."

"Looks like it's just us three now." Gunn smiled. "No cheatin'." He eyed Lorne.

"I don't cheat!"

"You can read minds. I call that cheatin'."

"It's not my fault Spike started humming 'We Are The Champions'. Cockiness will get you every time." Lorne explained.

"Well, I always beat both of you. No one bluffs like a Texan." Fred smirked, as she took the cards from Gunn and began dealing them.

"Oh, don't mess with Texas." Gunn smiled deviously and they all laughed.

Spike took Buffy's arm and he led her out into the courtyard. The laughter from inside was silenced when the doors shut behind them. Once outside Buffy sat down on the edge of the fountain and looked at him.

"So...are you mad because I just let Gunn shoot you last night?" She asked, getting her worries off her chest.

"What? No. Why would I be mad about that? It was planned."

"I-I know. But it wasn't planned for _last_ night. If it hadn't of been Gunn..."

"Well it _was_ Gunn."

"I know, but you seemed kinda weird last night after we got back." She remembered.

He sighed and sat down next to her. He thought about telling her she was imagining things, but he decided to actually tell her the truth.

"Alright, I _was_ mad last night. But it had nothing to do with the attack."

"Then what?"

"I saw you and Angel talking on the couch. I saw you touch him...hold him...My mind went places." He admitted.

"Oh my god...That's what pissed you off? Me and Angel _talking_ to one another?" She asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah, I thought—"

"Look Spike, I guess I didn't make myself clear enough. You are the one I want to be with...But Angel is still a part of my life. Hell, he's a part of your life too. Sometimes there will be actual speaking involved there."

"It wasn't that you were _talking_ to him, Buffy. It was how cozy you two looked. Comfortable. Like you belonged with him." He said softly.

She looked down at her hands again, and fidgeted nervously.

"Don't you trust me?" She asked.

"I don't know." He admitted.

She looked up at him, wounded. "You don't know? Isn't that something you should know?"

"I've done a lot of awful things in my time, Buffy. Some of them to you. But you were no innocent. Our past is twisted and sometimes just plain vile. So no, I didn't trust you when you said you loved me. I _wanted_ you to love me. I never wanted anything more. But when you finally said that you did, I wondered why."

"You want to know _why_?"

"Angel said you'd lost your mind to love me, and I wasn't so sure I could disagree with that assessment." He said in a slightly joking manner.

"Spike, why did _you _fall in love _me_? I was everything you were born to hate; to kill. We were enemies. You didn't even have a soul. Why—no, _how_ could you love me?" She asked him.

"I don't know, I just did. There is no logical reason why I—wait, that's what you're getting at, aren't you?" He asked, suddenly sensing her motivation for this line of questioning.

"Kinda. I can't tell you why I feel the way I do, any more than you can tell me. Maybe I _am_ crazy?" She told him. Then added jokingly, "I know you are."

"I'm not crazy." He protested. "Well, not anymore."

"Thankfully, cause you were really weird then." She shook her head.

"Well, it wasn't exactly my fault. Newly tortured soul and all." He reminded her.

"I know..." She nodded her head. "Can we just stop questioning everything? Can't we just get past all this and move on?" She asked him.

"Move on to what?"

"I don't know. The next thing? There doesn't have to be a set plan, does there? Can't we just go with the flow or something? Have fun?"

"Seems to me we've had our share of fun in the past, Buffy. I want more than that." He said seriously.

"That's not the kind of _fun_ I was talking about. I just meant, do we always have to be so dire? Can't we just be together for the sake of being together, and not worry about where it's heading?"

"I suppose so. I don't know why I'm being like this. Maybe I _am_ turning into Angel? Which in that case, stake me now, please." He said miserably.

She laughed at that, and shook her head.

"Later. Right now there's a poker game inside with my name on it. You in?" She asked as she took his hand and pulled him up with her.

"Be careful with them. They're bluffers. Fool me every time." Spike warned her.

"At least they aren't using kittens. That's a plus." She grinned as they made their way back inside. "By the way, can I borrow twenty bucks?" She asked him with a smirk.

Willow was in her room reading over the contracts that Wesley had smuggled out. Most of them were pretty standard, nothing untoward about them. It seemed that the bulk of Wolfram and Hart employees were fairly clean. Most of them probably weren't even completely aware of who they were really working for. But all of the Level Four employees were most definitely aware of, if not enthusiastic about, evil.

These were the employees that had signed away the rights to their souls, to varying degrees. The contract she was most focused on, was Angel's. He had been put in charge of the Special Projects division. He was to have any and all access to Level Four employees and files. In it was a confidentiality clause saying he could not divulge any company business to anyone who wasn't a direct employee of Angel's, which in turn made them a subsidiary of Wolfram and Hart. It wasn't until Willow got to the last page and read the fine print that she knew exactly how deep into this Angel had gotten himself.

Angel had inked the contract in what appeared to be his own blood. Underneath the signature Wolfram and Hart claimed ownership of Angel's soul. She still couldn't believe he signed this. Had he even read it? She suspected he did. He knew what he gave up for Connor, and he felt it was worth it. Willow still didn't comprehend that. But it was her job to find him a way out and she was pretty sure she had found it.

Just then she heard a knock at her door. She told whoever it was to come in. Angel walked into the room and stood before her with his arms folded in front of him.

"How's it coming? Are you making any progress?" He asked cautiously, not trying to prod her.

She nodded, "Yeah. This over here is the 'harmless' pile. This one is the 'could be a problem' pile. And this is the 'definitely screwed' pile." She relayed to him her filing system.

"So which pile am I in?"

"Screwed."

"That's what I thought."

"Angel why did you do this? I-I know it was for Connor, but—"

"I was desperate Willow. I know you get that. Do I wish I hadn't of done it? Yeah. But I did and now I have to live with it. And unfortunately so does Connor." He said unhappily.

"Have you spoken to him again?"

He shook his head, "No. I don't want to push him. I think he needs space."

"Yeah, I think so. Buffy said that Dawn's been spending a lot of time with him. I-I think she's been good for him." Willow told him.

"Good. That's what he needs. Someone who can make him happy—without a spell. Apparently I never was able to do that."

"You just took the easy way out. And you're right, I get that totally. But it _was _wrong."

"I know that now. Believe me, I know it."

Willow could sense that this was still a very difficult subject for him. It would be for anyone. She decided to change it by letting him know what she had found out.

"I have some good news though, I think I know a way to get you out of the contract." She informed him.

"You do?"

"Yeah...there is one tiny loophole that you should know about though."

"What's that?"

"Well...you signed away ownership of your soul. You still _possess_ it, but it's not _yours_ anymore." She explained.

"Yeah, I got that part. So what can you do?"

"Well, just what I did for Lilah. I returned full ownership of her soul to her."

"But then I'd die wouldn't I? Move on to the next world, like Lilah did. Is that the loophole? You get me out of it but then I die?" He asked not liking that idea.

"No, it wouldn't be like that. With Lilah, I combined two spells. One for returning her soul to her, and the other to free that soul and let it pass on. I'd just skip the 'go into the light' bit for you." She elaborated.

"Okay, sounds good. So what's the loophole?"

"Well...the loophole is that there isn't a loophole. Your soul will belong to _you_. It can't be taken away, or lost. Not unless you sign it away again—which if you do that I'll have to kill you myself. But that's besides the point. Basically, if I do this, the curse will be lifted."

Angel was silent for a moment, trying to absorb the enormity of what she was suggesting. He didn't know what to think or say. He should be jumping for joy, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to do that. He'd always used the curse as an excuse not to get too close to people. He wasn't allowed happiness or intimacy with anyone because it was dangerous for him to do so. He'd left Buffy all those years ago because it wasn't safe for him to be around her. And some part of his tortured conscience wanted it that way. If his soul belonged to him now, maybe he wouldn't be suffering as much as he deserved? He didn't truly believe that he was worthy of happiness. Not after all the things he'd done. The latest of his crimes being committed while in full possession of said soul. He had made a grievous error with Connor and Wolfram and Hart and he should pay for that; not be rewarded.

"Did you hear me Angel? I said the curse would be lifted." Willow interrupted his thoughts.

"I heard you." He said softly, his eyes still trained on some far away spot on the wall that Willow couldn't see.

"I-I kinda thought you might be happier about that. Not, soul-losing perfect happiness, but smiling at least."

"Willow, I don't know if that's such a good idea." He shook his head.

"Oh, come on. Smiling never hurt anyone. I know you're used to the brooding mask of torment, but you should try it." She teased him.

"I don't mean smiling, I mean the spell. I don't think it's a good idea to lift the curse." He said gravely.

"What? Why not?"

"Because. The curse was designed to make me pay. Suffer. And I deserve that suffering. The things I did..."

"You aren't responsible for the things you did then, Angel." She said reassuringly.

"Yes, I am. And I'm not even talking about things I did as Angelus. I'm talking about now. What I did with Connor...what I did to everyone's memory—including yours, it was wrong. And signing my soul away on a whim like that? I don't deserve _not_ to suffer for that."

"You're right. You made a big mistake. Huge, even. But just because you can't _lose _your soul, doesn't mean you won't feel it. You'll suffer plenty. Believe me. I've been there. And on a bad day, I _am_ there." She told him seriously. "I made a lot of mistakes too Angel. The kind that some people don't come back from. Not a day goes by that I don't worry today may be the day I go over the edge again. But my soul was never lost, or in danger of being taken away. And I still feel and regret every bit of the pain I caused."

He was silent again for a moment. Then he looked at her.

"Do you really think I should be rewarded like that?" He wondered.

She shrugged, "I don't know. I didn't know Lilah, but what I did know didn't strike me as warm and fuzzy. And yet you agreed with Wes to give her back possession of her soul and send her onward. I don't think she deserved that either, do you?"

"No. If I'd had my way she'd be toasting marshmallows in Hell."

"But you let it happen because _Wes_ needed closure. You knew that Lilah didn't deserve a reward, but Wes needed her to be free. So you allowed it. All of the people who care for you; they don't want to live in worry that one day they'll come home and find out you've gone all Angelus and started snacking on people again. Maybe _you_ don't deserve that piece of mind, but _they_ do." She said seriously.

Angel realized she had a point. It wasn't as if owning his soul would change anything. He'd still be capable of doing bad things ala' the Connor incident. Also knowing that Angelus would never again resurface was a tempting offer. He had hated when everyone had witnessed him first hand. He knew that he caused a lot of hurt and pain even in the short time he had been free again. He knew it was time to put Angelus to rest forever.

"Okay. Let's do it." He agreed.

"I just need a day or two to sort through the rest of these contracts." She told him.

"Don't say anything yet to the others about this, okay?"

"Why not?"

"I don't want Buffy to know."

"Why? She'd be so happy. I mean you and she could—Oh! I-I didn't think of _that_."

"Buffy's moved on. There isn't going to be any of _that_ between us. She's with Spike now." He said with some difficulty.

"Yeah, she is...But—"

"But nothing. I don't want her to know. It doesn't change anything for us."

"But you think it might. That's why you don't want to tell her, isn't it?" Willow inquired.

"I don't know if it matters to her or not. It matters to me, but I'm not sleeping with Spike. So..."

"Buffy's not sleeping with Spike." Willow protested. "Well, not anymore. As far as I know...They were before, but that didn't mean anything really. It was just a lot of sweaty, meaningless—Okay, shutting up now."

"Yes, please do." He agreed openly cringing at what Willow had just shared.

"I still don't think you should keep this from her."

"I'll tell her myself. Just not now."

"Okay."

She let the matter drop. It wasn't really her business. She just didn't want to get blamed like she did the last time when Buffy found out everyone had kept something huge from her. Willow didn't know what it was with Spike and Angel, but they both got annoyingly tight lipped when it came to matters that might affect Buffy in some way. Willow figured it must be a vampire thing. Or a guy thing. Either way, she didn't understand it.

Holland paced back and forth in his secret office. He had been well aware that Lilah's time had run out. But he had assumed that Angel and his people would save Holland the dirty work of sending Lilah to Hell. Instead they found a way to break her contract and send her spirit onward, instead downward. On the surface Holland didn't care one way or another where Lilah ended up. But the fact they had somehow found a way to sever the Senior Partners ties to her, was worrisome. The little red-headed witch was a lot more powerful than Holland had anticipated. Perhaps his focus on Angel all this time was misguided? What he really should be focusing on was this witch.

Once it proved she was a major player in this game, returning the other vampire from the grave, he had requested a background on her. It had proved to be a very interesting read indeed. Not only was she extremely powerful, but she was highly corruptible as well. Her credits included : resurrecting a dead Slayer, imbuing teenaged girls all over the globe with Slayer power, and resurrecting a vampire. But the detail that Holland enjoyed most was the part where Willow attempted to end the world. No small feat for such an innocuous looking young woman. But the fact that she was easily led astray by power, meant that Holland had a chance at recruiting her to his side.

He pushed an intercom button on his desk summoning his secretary.

"Judith? Send me one of the dark shamans. I have some work that needs to be done."

"Right away sir." Judith answered dutifully.

Holland leaned back in his chair and smiled. He never should have trusted Lilah to take care of things anyway.

"If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." He said with satisfaction.

Willow was throwing some books into her backpack when Lorne walked up behind her.

"Whatcha' doing Red Riding Hood?" He asked with a smile.

"I was just heading out to the Magic Emporium. I need more Valerian root for the spell."

"You think you can pull this off?" He asked curiously.

"I-I hope so."

"Pardon my frankness, but you seem a little less than confident." He pointed out.

She sighed and plopped herself down on the chair and faced him.

"I _am_ confident. I know I can do this...I just—"

"You worry about what it might do to you?" He finished for her.

She nodded, "Exactly. I think I've got a really good handle on my magic now, but lately I've had to use it a lot. And these are immense spells, Lorne. Insanely powerful stuff. Breaking contracts with the devil, resurrection; I just worry that I'm not doing the right things with it."

"Listen to me Sweetness, you _are_ doing the right thing. You've been given a gift to use wisely. I think you're doing it. Don't second guess yourself."

"I'm trying not to. I know what I'm doing here is important...I just don't want to lose sight of myself again." She admitted.

"You want me to do a reading for you? Maybe it would put your mind at ease." He offered.

"I-I don't know. What if it's bad? I'm not sure I'd want to know that."

"Then I won't tell you the bad." He smiled.

"But then even if you said it was good, I wouldn't believe you."

"True." He shrugged. "But if you're worried about your future, it might help."

"What would I have to do? Sing?"

He nodded. And she shook her head. "No. I-I don't sing. Trust me. A few years back there was this demon that came to Sunnydale that made everyone sing and dance and—"

"Sweet?"

"You know him?" She was shocked.

"Yeah, he came into Caritas a few times. That boy can sing like nobody's business." Lorne remembered fondly.

"Well, _he_ might have been able to sing, but I-I can't. I couldn't even carry a tune if I strapped it to my back like a parachute." She said nervously.

"Well, I'm not asking you to perform Evita for me. Just hum a few bars of something."

"Like what?"

"Anything. Mary Had A Little Lamb. Or Spike's favorite, We Are The Champions."

"Spike sung We Are The Champions for you?" She laughed.

"He hummed it during poker. He had a straight flush, got a little cocky." He shrugged.

"Okay, okay. I'll hum Mary Had A Little Lamb. But promise me you'll tell me the truth? Even if it's not good."

He nodded and sat down in the chair across from her. Willow awkwardly began humming a few bars of the song she remembered from her childhood. That seemed such a lifetime ago now. She may have only been twenty-three but she felt a hundred sometimes. She watched Lorne's face as he picked up her vibrations through the song. She tried to gauge what he was seeing by the look on his face. But he showed absolutely no expression at all. She wondered if that was a bad sign. She stopped humming.

"So? Anything?" She asked uneasily.

"You definitely have some power. That much is coming through loud and clear." He told her.

"Yeah? And?"

"You _are_ wise to be cautious about it."

"Why? Is something going to happen to me?"

He shook his head, "No. You're gonna be just fine. Stick to what you know in your heart about yourself and what's right, and you'll be just fine."

"Really? That's it? I-I'm doing okay?"

He nodded silently.

"Hmm, well you're right. I do feel a little better. Thanks." She smiled, as she grabbed her backpack. "I'll see you when I get back."

He smiled at her broadly as she left the hotel. His smile faded once she was out of the building. He shook his head unhappily.

"Angel!" He called out loudly. "Get in here."

Angel came rushing out of the office. "What? What is it? Did something happen?"

"No, not yet. But it will."

"What?"

"I just did a reading on Willow. She was feeling a little uneasy and I wanted to put her mind at rest. Only now, _my_ mind isn't resting. Far from it."

"You saw something bad? Is something going to happen to Willow?" Angel was concerned.

Lorne nodded, "It might. I saw her power and it's pretty fantastic. More power than I've ever seen inside one person."

"Well, we knew she was powerful."

"Yeah, but no one else knew that. But they do now." Lorne informed him.

Angel looked at him with confusion, not understanding where his line of thinking was going. Then it registered with him.

"Wolfram and Hart knows who they're up against, don't they? They know it's not just me anymore."

"Exactly. I'm guessing that the little light show you guys did with Lilah alerted the higher-ups. They are _very_ aware of Willow now. And they want her."

"Well they can't have her. Willow isn't going to fall for that. She's learned her lesson, Lorne. She won't go to the dark side again." Angel said confident about Willow's state of mind.

"Don't be so sure, Angel." Lorne said gravely.

"Are you saying you saw her working with Wolfram and Hart in your reading? That she betrays us?" Angel was in a state of disbelief.

"No, I didn't see her actually join up with them. But I saw her reaction to what they offered her, Angel. I don't know if she's strong enough to resist."

Angel shook his head vigorously. "Nothing they offer her can possibly make her join with them. She's confided in me how terrified she is of being corrupted again. She won't do it."

"Look what they offered you, Angel. You are whole heartedly anti-evil lawyers, but the right offer made you sign that contract, didn't it?" Lorne reminded him.

Angel wanted to protest, but he couldn't. Lorne was right. Everyone was capable of sacrificing themselves if the offer was tempting or important enough to them.

"Did you tell her what you saw?"

"No. I didn't have the heart to tell her."

"Shouldn't you have warned her though? She's in danger." Angel pointed out seriously.

"She's not in physical danger. They aren't going to hurt her. They need her." Lorne relayed the messages he received from Willow's psyche. "I told her to trust what she knows in her heart to be the right thing."

"That's it? That's all you told her?"

"There was nothing else I _could_ tell her. I couldn't tell her not to take the offer. She's not stupid, Angel. She knows she _shouldn't_ take it, but that doesn't mean she won't."

Angel knew Lorne was implying heavily that Angel had also been guilty of the same crime. Angel knew what he did was completely wrong, and he did it anyway. Connor was the most important thing in his life and he'd do anything for him. The question in Angel's mind now was, what were they going to offer Willow that would have the same effect?

Willow pulled up out in front of the Magic Emporium. It was times like these that she missed the Magic Box. Sometimes when she walked into the Emporium, she expected to see Anya behind the register counting money, Giles behind her looking serious and wiping his glasses, and Dawn doing her homework at one of the tables while Buffy trained in the back. She smiled at the memories. She missed Anya and Giles. She and Anya never got along or became friends really, but she'd been gone long enough now that Willow missed her anyway. It was like the last day of school when she told Harmony that she was going to miss her, and at that moment she meant it. Not because she liked Harmony or Anya, but because they were part of a familiar time for her.

Willow walked inside of the magic store and was brought back to reality. Anya wasn't behind the register, a woman with long blonde hair and a tie-dyed tank top resided there. Instead of Giles polishing his glasses, there was a scruffy looking young man with long dark hair filling jars with magical herbs. The shop smelled like Patchouli and Cinnamon, rather than the Sage and Windex smell of the Magic Box. Anya was always cleaning the glass countertops of all fingerprints. She didn't want greasy smears to ruin the view of the more expensive items.

"Can I help you with something?" The blonde woman in the tank top asked her.

"I need some Valerian root."

"Powdered or whole?"

"Both actually. And maybe throw in a little Lemon Verbena. It smells good." She smiled.

The woman nodded and began putting Willow's order into small plastic baggies. As she waited at the counter, her eyes scanned the shop. She was the only customer inside and the place was quiet except the sounds of glass jar lids being opened and closed. She noticed there was a back room of some sort, obscured by a purple velvet curtain.

"What's back there?" Willow asked, having never noticed the curtain before.

"Oh, we just started doing Tarot Card readings. Yesterday actually. Her name is Madame Serenity. She's pretty good from I what I hear. The owner of the shop, Ted, hired her. Do you want to set up an appointment?" The woman asked.

Willow shook her head and smiled politely, "No thanks." Willow wasn't interested in another reading, but something behind that wall of purple velvet was drawing her in. She could feel a strong presence vibrating from behind the curtain. It was starting to make Willow uneasy.

"Is Madame Serenity back there right now?" She asked, wondering if she was just sensing strong mystical energies around the psychic.

"Yeah, she just got here right before you did."

Willow began walking towards the curtain, oblivious to the blonde woman telling her that she needed an appointment to go inside there. Willow wasn't sure _what_ she was feeling, but something in her gut told her that she must speak to this Madame Serenity. She parted the curtain and saw that it wasn't merely a tiny alcove that she was in. Part of the stockroom had apparently been converted to house this mystic. The room was spacious, and dark, lit only by candles surrounding the perimeter of the room.

A small woman with salt and pepper hair, much like the Bride of Frankenstein, sat behind a table with a crystal ball in front of her. _How cliché_...Willow thought to herself. But the power surrounding this woman was undeniably real. She was no phony.

"Willow. I knew you'd come." Madame Serenity smiled at her.

"How did you know my name?"

"I'm psychic."

"I-I know...But—"

"I'm a _real_ psychic dear. Not Miss Cleo." She laughed amiably.

Willow's uneasiness faded a bit as the woman indicated she should sit down. For reasons she didn't understand yet, she obliged.

"I-I don't really want a reading. I'm not even sure why I'm here." Willow glanced around the room cautiously.

"I know why. You sense what I can offer you, don't you?"

Willow nodded. It was almost as if she weren't in control of herself at this point. Something was compelling her to sit in this chair and listen to Madame Serenity. Willow began to panic a bit at the notion she was no longer in full control of her actions. But the panic faded when the psychic took her hands and held them gently.

"I know what it is you seek. And I can give it to you." She said importantly.

"How do you know what I seek, when I don't even know why I'm here?" Willow wondered.

"I can read your soul; your heart. I see the pain there. I can make it stop."

Willow shook her head, "No. You can't." She pulled her hands away from her grasp.

"Indeed I can. Would you like to hear more?" She tempted her.

"I-I can't pay you, if that's what you're getting at. I only have twelve dollars with me."

"It isn't money I require."

"Then what?"

"Your soul." Holland Manners descended upon them from the dark shadows of the room. He was smiling pleasantly at Willow.

She stood quickly and reeled away from them both.

"I-I know who you are." She told him. "This is a trap."

"On the contrary, it's not a trap. It's merely an opportunity."

"An opportunity for what? For you to destroy me?" She asked.

He laughed, "No, not at all. We don't wish to hurt you in any way. In fact, we're very pleased and excited about your capabilities. Frankly, the opportunity isn't mine, it's yours."

"I don't want anything you have to offer. Let me go." She demanded.

Holland looked around the room and shrugged. "I don't see anyone forcing you to be here."

Willow realized he was right. She could walk right out of the room if she wanted to. And she didn't want to. Something was still persuading her to stay rooted in her spot.

"Do you have me under some kind of spell? I don't feel like I can move." She said with worry.

"No, no spells. It seems you're just attracted to Madame Serenity's power. And who could blame you? It feels amazing doesn't it? All that power, just pulsing away under the surface. The knowledge that you can own this world if you really wanted to. It must be pretty intoxicating." He said with a broad grin.

"I don't want this power. You're doing something else to make me stay here. Undo it." She said forcefully.

"You _want_ to be here, Willow. Face it. If you wanted to leave, you're plenty more powerful than me. I'm merely a re-animated corpse. Not much of a threat to you, am I?"

He was right. Willow could banish him in a split second if she really tried. She was in a magic shop, hundreds of items at her fingertips to use against him. Only she wasn't using them. She was just standing there.

"What do you want from me?" She asked finally.

"We want to make you an offer." He said simply.

"An offer? For my soul? That's never going to happen."

"Really? Well, that's a shame. Madame Serenity was just telling me earlier that she felt certain you _would_ be interested. I guess she was wrong." He said with a sigh.

"I guess she _was_ wrong." Willow agreed.

"What was it again that you felt was a fair offer?" Holland asked Madame Serenity.

She smiled and waved her hands over the crystal ball on the table. An image of Tara filled the large glass sphere.

"Tara..." Willow felt her heart drop to her knees. "If you do anything to harm her spirit I swear to you you'll see my power up close and personal." Willow seethed.

"I'd hope so!" Holland said with a chuckle. "But we aren't interested in harming Tara if that's what you think."

"Then what are you interested in?"

"We want you on our side. Your power is so great...well, frankly, we can't afford _not_ to have you on our side."

"And what makes you think I'd ever join you? Showing me an image of Tara? I do remember what she looks like without your help."

"But you don't have any pictures of her, do you? That unfortunate apocalypse in Sunnydale...Destroyed everything, I hear. It's too bad you didn't plan ahead and grab your mementos." He said shaking his head with mock sympathy.

Willow felt her heart break just a little bit more when Holland reminded her that she had nothing left of Tara at all. Not even one tiny photograph. But it still wasn't enough to break her.

"So your plan is to give me a _picture_ of Tara and then I'll join you?" She asked incredulously.

"No, of course not. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but it's not enough, is it? No. We are offering you Tara. In the flesh. We can bring her back to you again. Good as new." He smiled.

Willow felt the room spin around her. She felt like she couldn't breathe and she began to get dizzy. Surely she hadn't heard him correctly.

"You can't bring Tara back. It's not possible." She whispered.

"Yes, I know you tried already, didn't you?" He asked.

Willow didn't respond. It was clear he had done his homework on her. He knew it all. And with Madame Serenity's insight, he now knew exactly the one thing in the world Willow might be willing to sacrifice herself for. And that was Tara.

"We know you tried to bring her back, and were denied. But we have our ways. Wolfram and Hart can do anything we want. And I mean _anything_. Just say the word, and she's back in time to share dinner with you."

She shook her head, "No. It's not right. Tara is at peace now. She can't come back. I won't do that to her."

"She won't remember where she was. It'll be like nothing ever happened. Going back in time, so to speak. She won't even be aware that she was dead, and neither will anyone else. Except you, of course." He clarified.

Willow knew she should run right out of that room, and never look back. She'd be a fool to accept any kind of deal from Wolfram and Hart. Yesterday she had scolded Angel for the very same thing. She hadn't been able to comprehend his motivation. But now she did. She understood it all too well. And it was alarming to her. Surely Lorne must have seen this coming? It had only been less than an hour since he did her reading and he said she had nothing to fear. No he hadn't actually said that, had he? She remembered. He told her to trust her heart and what she knew was the right thing to do—and then she'd be fine. Only what her heart wanted and what her head knew to be right, were two different things at this point.

"What would I have to do?" She whispered almost inaudibly.

Holland pushed the Wolfram and Hart contract across the table to where she stood.

"Sign on the dotted line." He instructed her. "In blood of course." He added as he scooted over a pen with a tiny needle protruding from the tip.

She took the pen and held it in front of her. She glanced back down to the contract, blinking her tears away.

"Oh, and another thing. We _are_ aware that you've found a loophole in our contract system. Conceivably you could dissolve this contract at any time. But if you do, your beloved Tara will be gone again." He warned her.

She put the pen down on the table again. "If I sign this, Tara might come back, but she'd never forgive me if I used my magic to help you. She'd leave me anyway."

"Ah, yes. Tara was a special kind of soul, wasn't she? So good and pure...never did anything wrong, did she?" Holland mused.

"The only thing she ever did wrong was trusting me when I told her it was okay to bring Buffy back." Willow remembered. "Tara was a _good_ witch, much better than me."

"What if I were to tell you that she'd never find out what you did for us? It would be top secret. Like the government. She wouldn't object to you working for the government would she?" He asked.

"Government, Wolfram and Hart...makes no difference. It's still a bunch of evil lawyers isn't it?"

"Exactly."

She shook her head, "No. I-I can't sign this. Tara might come back but it'd all be a lie. I won't do it."

Holland looked over at Madame Serenity and gave her a nod. Willow didn't know what he was doing until she waved her hands in the air.

"Reveal."

From the same dark shadows where Holland emerged, Willow saw Tara. She walked into the candlelight and smiled broadly at Willow. Willow nearly fell over at the sight of her lost love.

"Oh god...Tara!" She cried, her tears flowing freely now. She wanted to run over and grab her and never let her go, but she couldn't. It wasn't real. It wasn't her. It couldn't be. She shook her head.

"No, it's not her. It's a trick." She looked away from Tara.

"It's me, Willow. I feel like I haven't seen you in years. I've missed you so much. Have you missed me?" Tara asked.

"Every single day." Willow whispered.

"I want to be with you again. Don't you want me anymore?"

Tara walked over and reached out her hand to Willow. Willow didn't want to take it. If she touched Tara, it'd all be over for her. She'd never be able to let her go again. But she was weak. She reached out and took Tara's hand. It was solid. She wasn't a mirage or an apparition. Willow pulled Tara to her and held her tightly.

"Oh god, I've missed you so much." She whispered through her tears. "I've wished for this moment a million times."

"I've wished for it too, Willow. Let me come back home. Please?" Tara pleaded with her.

_Oh god...what am I going to do?_ Willow thought to herself. This was too much for her. The pressure of this choice was ripping her apart. She closed her eyes and Tara pulled away from her. She kissed her lips softly, and smiled.

"You'll let me come back, won't you?" She asked hopefully.

And with that parting statement, Tara was gone again. Willow blinked her eyes rapidly, wondering if she had dreamt it, or hallucinated it. Either one was possible. It couldn't have been real. She wiped her eyes and turned around to face Holland and the psychic again.

"That wasn't real was it?" She asked softly.

"It could be. Sign the contract and it _will_ be. She's waiting for your decision. As are we all." Holland informed her.

Willow picked up the pen again and held it tightly. She didn't know what to do. She looked back up at Holland.

"What about Angel? If I sign this, will you still let me dissolve his contract?"

"Why would I allow you to do that?"

"Because I won't sign this unless you let me get Angel out." She said firmly.

He sighed, "Fine. Do as you wish. I won't stop you. This time anyway." There would be plenty of time left to get him back at a later date, Holland thought to himself.

Willow took the pen and bounced it nervously between her fingertips. Her hands were shaking, and she tried to still them. She was about to make a decision that could change her life forever. And even as she held the pen poised over the paper, she wasn't sure which way she was going to go.


	7. Repreive

**Disclaimer:** I own none of the characters here. I merely borrow them to keep myself entertained.

**Author's Note:** This is the seventh, and **final** part of my series **Fortune Favors The Brave**. It's called **Reprieve**.

**Summary:** Willow deals with temptation as the final preparations are made to sever the ties Wolfram and Hart have placed on Angel. Angel reveals something startling to Buffy that could have interesting consequences for them. But is it too late to get back what they lost together? And how will this information affect Spike?

**Rating:** PG-13

**::Fortune Favors The Brave::**

**Reprieve**

Willow stood at the table staring at the document in front of her. The pen was trembling in her hands and she could feel her heart racing almost painfully in her chest. She looked up at Holland again, and saw him smiling pleasantly. He seemed very confident and sure of her choice. He didn't even look as if he considered it possible she may say no. He knew he had her where he wanted her. Madame Serenity however didn't appear so sure anymore. Willow wondered if she could read her thoughts? She was a powerful psychic, after all.

Willow had been completely floored by the appearance of Tara. Or the illusion of Tara, as it was. It had felt so real and in that instant Willow didn't care what happened to her soul. All she wanted was Tara back—at any cost. Much the same way she had felt when Tara died. Willow hadn't cared if she ever came back from that brink. All she had wanted was Tara to be alive again, and for Warren and the others to suffer horribly for their crimes. She thought she was past the blind fury and emotional meltdown phase, but clearly she wasn't. The same buttons could still easily be pushed, and she was walking that narrow line again. Teetering on the edge of wrong and right; still easily swayed by power and easy fixes to complex situations. She didn't want to be like that again.

Willow looked away from the contract on the table and set the poison pen down. She backed away from it.

"No. I won't do it." She said firmly. She _had_ to walk away from this. If she didn't, her life would no longer be her own again.

"What?" Holland was shocked. "Maybe you just need some more time? There's no rush. Give it a day or two." He offered.

She shook her head and started backing further away from him and closer to the curtain held them cloaked from the outside world.

"I'm not going to sign that. I-I can't. More time won't change anything."

"Do you realize what you're walking away from? Tara—the woman you love more than your own life. She would be alive again. Don't you want her to be alive?" He tried to break her down.

"Of course I want Tara to be alive. My god...I want nothing more—and you know that. That's why you're using her as a weapon against me." Willow said emotionally. "But even if Tara never knew she had been dead, and she didn't know that I worked for you—for something evil, I _would_ know. And I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"Do you really think Wolfram and Hart will be able to let you just walk away?"

"I don't really care what Wolfram and Hart does. My soul is not for sale." She said with determination.

"You won't have much choice. You'll either join with us, or die. Your power is too great for us to overlook. But it's not unstoppable. Remember that. You're not powerful enough to stop Wolfram and Hart. If you walk away now, I'll send a hundred of my best shamans out to destroy you, if that's what it takes." He told her. "I'm offering you safety, as well as having your lover back. You'd be a fool to walk away."

"Then I guess I'm a fool." She said evenly, trying to remain unaffected by his words.

"You're making a big mistake, Willow." Holland shook his head sadly.

"No. I'm really not." She said self-assuredly. "_You're_ the one who made the mistake."

"And what mistake would that be?" He wondered aloud.

"Underestimating me." She said calmly, belying her emotional turmoil.

Before he could respond to her statement, she waved her arms out in front of her. A streak of white lightning shot from her fingertips. It engulfed Holland fully and he disappeared with a flash. She hadn't even needed a written spell to remove him from this plane of existence. She had just used her emotional energy to destroy him completely. Much in the same way she'd reacted once Tara had died. That fact didn't escape her attention. She was hanging on by a thread and she knew it. She looked over at the psychic.

Madame Serenity stared at her with terror and disbelief. Holland had been destroyed in the blink of an eye. She feared she would be next. Willow knew this. But Madame Serenity was human. Of that much Willow was certain. She may have been working closely with evil, but she was merely a person—not a walking evil corpse like Holland. Willow couldn't allow herself to go down that road again.

"Please don't kill me." The psychic whimpered softly. She feared that this was the price she'd pay for playing with fire. "I only did as Holland asked me. I didn't—"

Willow approached her with fury in her eyes.

"Shut up." She commanded her, and she obeyed.

She raised her arms again and Madame Serenity shrunk back, attempting to shield herself from Willow's devastating magicks. But Willow stopped. She allowed her arms to fall limply back to her sides and she shook her head to dispel her anger.

"Just stay away from me. Leave this shop and never come back. You're not welcome here anymore." Willow said sternly.

The psychic nodded her head silently. Willow turned around and marched out of the room. The woman at the counter had been upset when Willow went back there without an appointment. But when Madame Serenity didn't force her out, she figured the woman had changed her mind, and was getting a reading. Now she looked frightful and angry.

"Miss? Are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost." She asked Willow.

"I have." Willow breezed past the counter without stopping.

"Are you okay?"

"No. I'm not." Willow told her as she began to run towards the door.

The woman was taken aback and she waved Willow's packages in the air.

"Wait! Don't you want your Valerian root?"

Willow didn't acknowledge her. She was too upset to even remember why she had come into the shop in the first place. She ran to her car and sped off towards the hotel. She pulled up out front and parked the car. She ran inside the building.

Lorne and Angel were sitting in the lobby when Willow ran past them.

"Hey! Slow down. What's wrong, Sweetness?" Lorne called out to her.

She didn't answer or look at either one of them.

"Willow? What happened to your hair?" Angel asked with concern.

That question made Willow pause. Her hair? Oh god...She rushed to see a mirror but found none handy.

"Where's a mirror? Why doesn't this place have any mirrors?" She cried. "Damn it...I hate living with vampires."

"Willow, calm down." Angel tried to soothe her.

"Just because you're having a bad hair day, doesn't mean it's the end of the world." Lorne assured her.

Willow shot daggers at him with her eyes and Lorne backed away.

"Okay, so maybe a bad hair day _is_ the end of the world for a woman. What do I know?"

Willow finally caught her reflection in a glass cabinet. Her hair wasn't black as she had feared. Well not entirely. She had streaks of black running through it, and a quick check of her eyes showed they were normal. She was coming down. Her rage had fueled her magic and in turn that rage had brought the dark forces to the surface again. She couldn't even look at them when they tried to get her to tell them what was wrong. She merely ran up the stairs into her room and slammed the door.

Angel looked at Lorne, "Was this what you were talking about? Is she evil now? I remember Buffy telling me that Willow's hair went black when she was evil."

"I don't know. Something big obviously happened today. But I can't tell if she's evil. I definitely picked up some serious bitch vibrations though." Lorne remarked.

"That could just be, you know, that woman thing." Angel said uncomfortably.

"I don't know a lot about women, but I don't seem to recall black hair of evil being a part of the whole PMS process."

"Maybe someone should go check on her?" Angel wondered.

"Good idea." Lorne agreed.

Neither one of them moved assuming that the other of them would take the initiative. Finally Lorne spoke up.

"Don't look at me. I'm not going up there." Lorne said firmly.

"Well I'm not going up there either. If she's evil..."

"I'm sure she's not evil. If she was evil she would have killed us or at least turned us into something like a toad, right?"

Angel shrugged and glanced up the stairs. Then he looked back at Lorne.

"We'll just give her a little space. If she's evil, we'll know."

"How?"

"Well, the us being turned into toads part will be a dead giveaway." Angel rationalized. Then, "Maybe we should call Buffy?"

Upstairs Willow sat on her bed with her hands shaking violently. She was more afraid of her own reflection than she was about dissolving Holland Manners with her mind. She wasn't sorry she did it. He was evil and she was going to vanquish him soon anyway. It had just been the _way_ she had done it. The quiet rage that built inside her...The fact he used Tara as a lure to get her to the dark side. And the simple fact that she had almost been willing to take the deal. That was enough to make her realize that maybe she didn't have as good of a handle on things as she thought.

She needed to talk to someone but Angel and Lorne were the only ones around. It wasn't as if she didn't like them or trust them, she just didn't want to tell them what she had done. She was ashamed of her rage, even though Angel was no stranger to rage and violence. He'd probably understand. But she didn't feel close enough to him to cry and fall apart in front of his eyes. She wanted him to think she was strong. That was the image she'd projected effectively since she'd been in LA. She didn't want her façade to crumble.

She wiped her eyes and leaned over the bed to grab the telephone. She picked it up and began to dial, then she hung it up. It wasn't the right number. She had been so used to dialing that number she sometimes forgot it wasn't in service anymore. She opened her drawer and pulled out her address book. She found the correct number and dialed it again. She waited as it rang several times. She was just about to hang it up when someone finally picked up.

"Hello?"

"Xander?"

"Will? Hey! Wow...it's been awhile. How are you? _Where_ are you? I tried calling you a few times but I always got the machine." He was surprised to hear from her.

"I'm actually in LA now. It's a long story, but Angel needed some help. I-I've been meaning to call you." She told him trying to appear put together well.

"LA huh? Helping out Deadboy? Guess I shouldn't be too surprised."

"Why is that?"

"Well, I just meant that I didn't think you'd stay in Cleveland long. I knew you didn't really like it there. Did Kennedy come with you to LA?" He asked.

Willow was quiet a moment, then, "We broke up. She didn't want to come here, and I didn't want to be there. It just wasn't working out. But we still talk sometimes."

"I'm sorry to hear that Will. I thought you guys would make it."

Willow then began to cry. She couldn't hold it back any longer. Xander heard her sobs and grew concerned.

"Willow, what's wrong? Is it Kennedy? Did I say something wrong?" He asked.

"It's not Kennedy...and no you didn't say anything wrong. It's me. I'm in trouble Xander." She sobbed.

"What happened? Do you need me to come there? I can be on the next—"

"You don't have to come here. I just...I need...Well, it wouldn't hurt to hear the yellow crayon speech again." She said managing a small hopeful smile through her tears.

"What? Oh Will...you didn't..."

"No! I didn't do anything." She said quickly. Then added in a small voice, "Well, I may have killed one person, but he was evil and already technically dead so that doesn't count. Does it?"

"What happened? Tell me everything." He said with worry.

She began telling Xander the entire story. How she had gotten the visions, ended up in LA, Wolfram and Hart, Angel's contract, Spike's back, Buffy's here; the entire story. She ended her retelling of the events with what had happened today at the Magic Emporium. Xander was silent for a moment then he sighed.

"He actually told you he could bring Tara back?" He asked.

"Yeah. And he did. Kind of. It was some kind of glamour I think. I know it wasn't real...but it _felt_ real."

"You were going to sign the contract, weren't you? That's why you're so upset."

She nodded, even though he couldn't see her. She couldn't bring herself to say the words out loud. But Xander saw her in his mind, he knew her that well. Her silence answered his question.

"You didn't sign it though, right?" He asked.

"No. I-I didn't. But I _wanted_ to. God...I wanted to." She admitted. "I was so upset and angry that he used Tara's memory like that—to trap me; control me...I snapped. I vaporized him instantly. I wasn't even thinking. I was just reacting."

"Its okay, Willow. He was evil. He had it coming."

"So did Warren, but that doesn't make it right for me to do things like that. Does it?"

"Warren was human. This Holland guy wasn't. At least not anymore. This was no different than killing the hundreds of demons we killed all the time. This wasn't the same as Warren."

"It felt the same. I-I think that's why it scared me. And my hair was black again. Not completely, but it was enough. Xander I'm afraid I'm going to lose control."

"Don't say that. You're not. You're strong, Willow. Don't you realize what it is you've done today?" He asked.

"Yes, I do. That's why I'm scared."

"No, I don't mean that. I mean that you had a chance to get Tara back. The one thing in the whole universe that you could possibly want—and you didn't do it. You knew it was wrong, and you didn't do it. That's pretty damn important, I'd think."

Willow was silent again as she absorbed his words. She _had_ walked away from the biggest temptation she had faced in a very long time. Maybe Xander was right, and it did count for something.

"Willow, listen to me. I can be on the next plane out. If you need me I—"

"No. It's okay. Really Xander. I-I don't want to bring you into this." She protested.

It was his turn to be silent. Finally he said, "I get it. There's no reason for me to be there, right? I'm just poor one eyed pirate Xander. Good at giving pep talks but I can't possibly help in any other way. That's why no one even bothered to tell me that the gang was back together again."

She felt the sharp stab of his wounded feelings.

"Xander, that's not why. We just...there wasn't..."

"There wasn't anything I was good at except fixing windows. And I'm sure Mr. Big Shot Corporate Vampire guy can afford to pay a real carpenter. One with two eyes." He said with more bitterness than he knew he was keeping.

"Xander don't be like that. That's not what's going on here. I didn't think that after what happened with Caleb that you wanted to be on the front lines anymore. I thought you were happy to be out of this life." She told him.

More silence, then, "I _am_ happy to be out of it. Believe me, waking up in the morning and not worrying if today is the day the world ends is a good thing. But you guys...I love you Will. And Buffy too. If something this big was happening, you should have told me."

"I'm sorry. You're right." She admitted.

"Look, forget about it. It's no big. Are you okay now? You're not feeling all destroy and kill anymore?"

"I feel better. Thanks to you...I love you Xander." She said sincerely.

"Ditto." He smiled into the phone.

They said their goodbyes and Willow hung up the phone. She wiped her eyes one last time and leaned back into the pillows. Just then there was a light knocking at the door.

"Yeah?" She called out.

"It's me. Buffy. Uh, is it safe—I-I mean, can I come in?" She asked cautiously.

Willow sighed, "Yes, it's safe. Come in Buffy."

Buffy poked her head around the door and saw Willow propped up on the bed. She looked normal; no black hair or eyes, no veiny things on her face. But her eyes were definitely red and puffy. Buffy moved into the room and sat down across from her.

"You alright? Angel said that you...well that he was worried about you. He called me."

"I had a rough day." Willow admitted.

"Wanna talk about it?" Buffy offered.

"I know what you're thinking—Angel told you I was evil, right?"

Buffy shook her head vigorously, "No. No way. He didn't say—Okay, maybe he said you _might_ be evil."

"Well, I'm not. But I could be. Any second, I _could_ be, Buffy."

Buffy reached out and touched Willow's hand gently.

"Will, any second any one of us _could_ be evil. But that doesn't mean we will be."

"I killed Holland Manners today." Willow admitted softly.

"Who?"

"Holland Manners. The guy who Lilah was working for."

"Oh, yeah...you killed him?"

Willow nodded. "I vaporized him. Instantly. I almost killed a psychic too. But I-I didn't. I ran out of there."

"What? Willow, back up. Start at the beginning." Buffy told her.

Willow sighed and relayed her tale again to Buffy. Tears fell from her eyes when she got to the part where Tara had been there. Buffy squeezed her hand supportively.

"You did the right thing. You walked away. I-I know it must have been so tempting...But you walked away. And that's the important part."

"I know. It is. I-I called Xander and he said the same thing." Willow told her. "But I was just so scared because I almost lost it. I felt all the pain and anger of having Tara in front of me, then pulled away again...I felt like I could just completely rampage and destroy everything in my sight again."

"But you didn't. Don't stress over the what-ifs. You didn't do it. You're still in control. You're still Willow." She smiled at her.

"Yeah...I'm still me. I-I think." Willow managed a small smile in return.

"You'll be okay. You're strong. Stronger than any of us I think. You'll make it."

Buffy reached over and pulled Willow into a hug. They just sat there holding each other, trying to make sense of it all. Knowing that no matter what happened they'd always have each other to lean on.

Spike was huddled in the office with Angel, Lorne and Wes. They all looked concerned.

"So, Red wasn't red anymore? Evil you say?" Spike asked them.

"I don't know Spike. Something happened to her, but the fact that Buffy's still up there and we haven't heard any violence, I think maybe we overreacted." Angel told him.

"Yeah that, or Willow poofed Buffy out of existence silently. I'm going up there." Spike informed them.

Wes grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"No. Leave it. Buffy's alright. I don't believe that Willow went over the edge. If she had, this would be the last place she'd run to." He rationalized.

"He has a point. Buffy said the last time Willow freaked it was messy. She wouldn't have come back here. She was upset, but not homicidal." Angel remembered.

"What is it you say you saw again, Lorne?" Wes asked.

"I just saw Willow being tempted with something major. Holland was there, he was smiling, and I felt Willow's turmoil. Whatever it was, it meant a lot to her."

"Tara." Spike informed them.

"Tara?" Wes asked.

"Her girlfriend. Or rather the girlfriend who expired a few years back. The catalyst for Willow's decent into evil and ending the world. It's the only thing it could be. The only thing that could get a reaction like that out of her."

"What makes you so sure?" Angel wanted to know.

"Because I know the girl. I may have missed the dark magic show she put on then, but I know what makes her tick."

"Oh really? So you're the Willow expert?" Angel asked condescendingly.

"Shut up Angel. Spike is right. It _was_ Tara." Buffy said as she entered the room with her arms crossed.

"What?"

"I talked to her and Spike was right. Holland offered her Tara in exchange for her soul." She told everyone.

"Should we be worried?" Wes asked tentatively.

Buffy shook her head, "No. She didn't do it."

"When I get my hands on Holland Manners he's gonna wish—"

"I don't think Holland is going to be an issue anymore, Angel." Buffy interrupted.

"Why not?"

"He's dead. Or rather, vaporized."

"Willow?" Wes asked.

Buffy nodded. "He's gone. Which is good. That's one less obstacle we have to face. With him gone, Spike should be safer. We all should be a little safer. At least for now."

"Is Willow going to be up for what's next? Pretty much all of this rests on her shoulders at this point. Can she handle that kind of pressure right now?" Angel asked.

Buffy shrugged, "I don't know. She's strong. She's pretty shaken up, but she knows the deal. She still wants to do it."

"Okay then. We let her regroup then we press on. This must be handled sooner rather than later. With Holland gone, we have a window of opportunity we may not get again." Wes informed them all.

Everyone nodded in agreement. It needed to end before someone else was tempted by their offers and before Wolfram and Hart had a chance to replace Holland and Lilah.

Later on that evening Buffy sat outside in the courtyard looking up at the stars. Everyone else was inside planning and plotting. Willow had come downstairs finally and assured everyone she was ready to work. Her earlier emotional state had been put on the back-burner to focus on the task at hand. Buffy had never been much for research. She was the fighter. Someone told her where to go and who to kill and she did it. She had failed miserably as a planner and a leader. But she wasn't upset not to be a part of that side of things. She was content to sit back and wait until she was needed for something. It suited her—not being in charge. Angel and Wes were good at that. It was their calling and she was more than happy to allow them that opportunity.

She hadn't noticed right away when someone else had entered the courtyard, but when she heard the footsteps coming towards her she smiled.

"Hey Spike." She grinned at his terrible lurking abilities.

"Not Spike." Angel said softly.

Buffy turned her head in surprise at Angel's voice.

"Angel. I-I just assumed..."

"Spike went out to get everyone pizza. Hope you like pepperoni." He smiled.

She nodded her head silently. Suddenly she felt awkward being alone with Angel under the stars. It was a romantic setting—one she shouldn't be enjoying with him. But he either didn't notice the tension, or didn't care. He sat down next to her; a friendly distance, but still too close for her comfort.

"I have to tell you something Buffy." He began softly.

"I-I'm not sure I like the sound of that. Sounds serious." She said nervously.

"It is. Well, at least I think it is." He told her. Then sighed, "The thing of it is, I'm not sure if it really makes a difference to you—to us. Not anymore."

"What is it?"

"Do you still love me, Buffy?" He asked then regretted it the minute it left his lips. Her shocked expression made him wince. "Scratch that. I don't need to know." He back-pedaled.

"Why would you ask me something like that?"

"It's not important."

"Well it obviously is important or you wouldn't have asked me. What's going on Angel?" She demanded to know.

"Nothing is going on. I just—"

"Is this about Spike? You're still jealous? The two of you drive me crazy, you know that?" She said with irritation.

"This isn't about Spike. Not directly anyway."

"Right. I tell you that I want to be with him and now you wanna know if I still love _you_?"

"I'm doing this all wrong. I should have just come right out and said what I needed to say." He admitted with defeat.

"What is it you need to say? I'm listening." She said impatiently.

"Willow told me that if she gets me out of this contract with Wolfram and Hart that my soul will belong to me." He blurted out.

"Yeah? Good. We knew that. That's the whole point behind getting you out of the contract." She said simply.

"No, you're not getting it Buffy. My soul will be _mine_—as in I can't lose it. No more curse. No more 'perfect happiness' clause. It'll be mine." He clarified.

Buffy stared at him silently. She had no words at the moment. Her mind flashed back to Spike asking her: "If things were different would Angel be the one standing here with you?" She'd refused to entertain the notion at all then. But now things _were_ different. Angel was telling her that they may have a chance to be together. Just what they had always wanted. The fact that he was a vampire was a moot point now seeing as how she was in a relationship with Spike—also a vampire. Without the curse, nothing was standing in the way of her and Angel being together. Nothing except her. This was why he wanted to know if she still loved him. He wanted her back.

"Angel, what are you saying? You won't have the curse so now we can just pick up where we left off all those years ago?" She asked flabbergasted.

"No. Of course not." He protested. Then weakly, "Well, maybe. Can we?"

She stood up and walked away from him. She crossed her arms and shook her head.

"I can't even believe you're asking me this! Don't you get that I'm in love with Spike? Did you think I was just settling for him because I couldn't have you?" She asked angrily.

"No! That's not what I thought." He said firmly.

"Yes it is! Why else would you be asking me if I still loved you?"

He stood to face her. "Fine. Yes. I _did_ think you were only with Spike because he was a vampire with a soul—just like me. I don't have to be a psychologist to work that little bit of transference out in my head."

"Transference? Oh my god. You really have a lot of nerve Angel. Spike is not you. He's not even close to being you. Just because he's a vampire with a soul doesn't mean I'm with him because he reminds me of you. That's like saying that if I dated another human guy, that it would be only because I was pretending he was Riley. Give me a break." She said full of bitterness.

"Well, I'm sorry. I guess I just don't understand what it is you see in Spike."

"Other than you? If your theory is correct, I see _you_ in him. So by that rationale, since you hate him so much, that must mean you hate yourself too." She pointed out.

"Are we really going to psychoanalyze each other here, Buffy?" He said with exasperation.

"You're the one who started that with the transference mumbo-jumbo."

"Fine. Okay, so I was wrong. You aren't with Spike because of me. I get it."

"Do you?"

"Yes, I get it. But I still don't know why then." He told her honestly.

She sighed and leaned against the courtyard wall.

"Does there have to be a reason why? He completes me in some way. He understands me. Sometimes I hate him for that—but in the end, I always come back to him. It used to drive me crazy how that worked." She admitted.

"So then why keep coming back? If you hate it so much." He asked.

"I don't know. Why do _we_ keep coming back to this point? Why is it every time I see you I feel sixteen again and want to throw myself into your arms?"

"Maybe because we still love each other."

"Maybe. But it's not the kind of love it used to be. I will always care about you, but the fact is, I'm _not_ sixteen. I've been through a hell of a lot. And you weren't there for it. You left me. You walked away and left me alone, Angel. That wasn't my choice; that was yours. And now you think just because the curse is gone we can go back again? It won't happen like that. It can't. Too much has happened." She informed him seriously.

"You're still mad that I left? I did it for you."

"Spare me, okay? You may have thought you did it for me, but you did it for _you_. You were afraid you wouldn't be able to control yourself around me and you walked away. It was the easy way out and you know it."

"It was far from _easy_. And anyway, your mother was the one who begged me to leave. She wanted me to let you go and live your life. She wanted you to be happy. And so did I." He told her softly.

She let her arms fall to her sides and looked up at him.

"My _mother_? My mother begged you to leave?"

He nodded. "Joyce came to me and asked me to be the strong one. She said as long as I was around you'd never let go—never have a normal life. And I believed her. I agreed, and so I left." He remembered quietly. "Whether you believe it or not, I _did_ do it for you."

"Great. Well, it doesn't really matter now why you did it. I got over it. Contrary to what you might think, I got over it—got over you. It wasn't easy, but it happened. Just because I still care for you doesn't mean that nothing has changed. It has. I'm not the same girl I used to be. You haven't seen me at my worst, Angel. You still hold me up on a pedestal. Spike doesn't. Spike knows my flaws, many of them up close and personal. And he still loves me." She said honestly.

"And you think I wouldn't?" He was wounded.

"I don't know. There were times when I didn't even like me, but Spike never wavered. I don't know why. I gave him no reason to stick by my side."

"But he did. I guess I have to hand it to him. I really don't know him at all I guess." He relented.

"Angel, you have to let me go. It's over. Regardless of the curse, it's over." She said with a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"I know. I think I knew that already. I was just..."

"Making sure?" She offered with a tiny smile.

He nodded. "I _had_ to be sure."

"It wasn't just me that moved on, was it? Willow told me that you and Cordelia..."

"Yeah, we—nothing ever happened. But yeah, I think I loved her." He admitted.

"You _think_ you did?" She raised her eyebrow at him.

"I _know_ I did. I just don't know what kind of love it really was. It was complicated." He clarified.

"All love is complicated."

"I guess it is. But it doesn't really matter anymore."

"I'm sorry she's gone, Angel. I know what that must feel like." She whispered.

"It's not a good feeling. I just hope I did the right thing letting her go. At the time it seemed right, but now that I know Wolfram and Hart were up to no good the entire time, I'm not convinced anymore that she was un-savable."

"There isn't any way to know that now."

"I know. I just hope that wherever she is, she finds her way. I know she's not at peace yet." He said unhappily.

"Maybe not. I don't think she could really move on until she fixed things with you."

"Yeah, trying to fix my mistakes. I screwed up royally and Cordy knew it. Cordy always called me on my mistakes."

"That's Cordelia. Brutally honest." Buffy laughed slightly at the memory.

"Exactly. She _was_ honest, even if the truth wasn't pretty. She'd tell it like it was. Before all of this happened, she was really the one who kept me grounded—focused. When she left...even when she came back, it wasn't Cordy. Things were never the same." He said mournfully. "I miss her."

Buffy moved over towards him again and touched his shoulder affectionately. She could see his pain. So much pain. All the things that Angel kept inside himself and never shared with anyone. He was always punishing himself for everything. And she told him this.

"Buffy I have to punish myself for this. All of these mistakes I've made—I have no one to blame but myself." He told her as he moved away from her and looked up at the sky.

"We all make mistakes Angel." She assured him.

He nodded his head. "Yeah. We all do. Some of us just make more than others." He added quietly.

Buffy went over and touched him on the arm again. She tried to pull him closer to her, but he stood firm. She was making one more attempt to reach out to him. Practically begging him to let her in and to accept comfort from someone. He realized this and shot her a confused expression.

"You shouldn't get too close to me, Buffy. Wouldn't want me to get the wrong idea, would you?"

"That's not what I'm doing. I care about you Angel. Can't you get that? Let me be here for you."

"You just told me it was over—that I had to get over you. Now you want me to _let you be here_?" He shook his head.

"So we can't be friends? Is that what you're saying? Either we're together or we're nothing? You're worse than Spike." She said in disbelief.

"And you said we weren't alike. Funny." He said flatly.

She threw her hands up, "Fine. Don't lean on me. Just sit here and brood over the crap your life has become. It's what you do best, isn't it? Don't let me stop you."

Angel watched as she turned and began to walk away from him. He was going to let her go, but he couldn't. He hadn't meant to push her away like that or to let his wounded ego get the better of him.

"Wait. Don't go like that. I'm sorry." He told her.

She stopped walking and turned to face him again. She folded her arms and stared at him.

"Look, I don't want us to be enemies. But you have to admit, this isn't easy. It's confusing." He told her.

"Yeah. It is." She agreed. "But just because we can't be a couple anymore doesn't mean that I don't care what happens to you. I'm here aren't I?"

"Spike's here. Willow's here. Isn't _that_ why you stuck around? To help them? Because you care about them?" He asked.

"Yeah. But I came to this hotel to see _you_. I had no idea Willow was here, or that Spike wasn't dead. I came because I wanted to see you."

"Why?"

"_Why_? Why do you think? Because I care damn it! Have you not listened to anything I've said tonight?" She was exasperated now.

"I've listened."

"Well then stop asking stupid questions."

Angel looked wounded for a moment and then he started laughing softly. Buffy tried to maintain her irritation, but his laughter became contagious.

"Why are you laughing?" She asked masking her own giggles.

"I have no idea." He chuckled.

"Well stop it. It's annoying. And not like you. You never laugh." She pointed out.

"I do so laugh. Sometimes. On a rare occasion." He protested with weak laughter.

She shook her head and smiled at him. She approached him with outstretched arms, inviting him into a hug. He hesitated briefly, then pulled her close.

"Are we friends now?" She asked as they held each other tightly.

He pulled back and looked her in the eye.

"Friends." He smiled.

Spike stood at the doorway watching them through the window. More laughter, more hugging—it was making him nauseous. Why was it every time he turned his back they were all over each other? He tried to keep a level head, and not fly off the handle again. Both of them had sworn that nothing was going on and that Buffy loved him now. Why was that so hard to believe? Maybe because of displays like this he kept witnessing between the two of them. He wanted to run out there and beat the shit out of Angel and grab Buffy and run off with her. Far away, where Angel wouldn't find them. But the logical part of his brain said that would be a mistake. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He pushed the glass doors open.

"Pizza's here." He said flatly, trying not to look at the two of them.

They pulled away from each other abruptly and looked over at Spike. Buffy was flustered that he had caught them in yet another embrace, even if it was innocent. She knew Spike wouldn't see it that way. Lately he had the worst timing ever.

"Spike! We were just—"

"Don't explain. Doesn't matter." Spike held up his hand to silence her.

Angel looked at Spike then back at Buffy. He could see that three was definitely a crowd. He lowered his head and walked back into the hotel, leaving Spike and Buffy outside.

Buffy walked over to Spike.

"It wasn't what—"

"It looked like?" He finished for her. "Save it. I know. It was just a friendly cuddle among ex-lovers. Happens all the time." He assured her. "Or so it seems." He muttered under his breath.

"We weren't cuddling, Spike." She protested. "We were hugging. Like friends do. Like I-I hug Willow. It meant nothing."

"We don't need to go over this again, Buffy. I get it." He told her.

"_Do_ you get it?"

"I'm not mentally challenged in some way, Buffy. I understand English, alright? You said nothing is happening with him, and I...believe you."

"You hesitated."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. You said 'I...believe you'. Like you really weren't sure." She pointed out.

"So now you're analyzing my bloody speech patterns? What next?" He asked incredulously.

"I just want you to know that nothing happened here tonight."

"I said you didn't have to explain it anymore, Buffy. But it is curious that _you_ _feel _the need to explain it. Why is that now? Guilty conscience?" He raised his eyebrow.

She stared at him for a moment and shook her head.

"No. My conscience is clear. It's just...never mind."

"What? If there's something to tell me, then just tell me. I don't want to play games with you." He said running his fingers through his hair tensely.

"Angel told me that Willow is going to lift his curse. The spell that that gets Angel out of the Wolfram and Hart contract frees him from the curse as well. He'll still have his soul, but the happiness clause will be gone. That's what we were talking about tonight before you got here." She admitted.

Spike felt as if the entire world dropped away from underneath his feet. This could change everything. And he suddenly felt sick at the thought that it may have already changed everything without his knowledge. The laughter and the hugging...

"So, what are you saying? You and Angel can shag like rabbits now without letting loose old Angelus? Well, that's just great. Congratulations. I'm sure you'll both be very happy. Don't forget to send me an invitation to the wedding." He said bitterly.

"It doesn't change anything. He told me, and it didn't change anything Spike." She said quickly.

He looked at her like he didn't understand what she had said. She moved closer to him and attempted to take his hands. He backed away.

"Spike, listen to me. Nothing has changed. I'm happy for Angel that his curse will be lifted and that maybe he can be happy without it resulting in murder and mayhem afterwards. But his happiness isn't with me anymore." She assured him.

"It's not? You're not back together with him?" He asked cautiously.

"No. I'm not. And to be honest, I'm just as surprised as you are."

"Well that's real comforting, thanks." He said dripping with bitter sarcasm.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I _have_ thought about what I would do if by some miracle Angel wasn't cursed. I used to daydream about that very thing all the time. I thought it would change everything, but it didn't. That's when I realized that it really is over for us. Don't you see?" She pleaded with him to understand.

His protective stance relaxed slightly and he looked at her.

"You really aren't in love with him anymore? You aren't gonna leave me for him? I mean why settle for Angel II—the next generation; when you can have the real deal?" He asked.

"Angel II? Is that what you think you are? I thought you hated being compared to him."

"I do. I despise it. But I just assumed..."

"Yeah, well so did he. And you're both wrong. I'm starting to think that neither one of you are worth the trouble." She said with a sigh.

"You don't mean that. You like trouble." He said with a small smirk.

"I do not." She pouted.

"Yes you do. I'm trouble, and you like me." He grinned at her.

"_Sometimes_ I like you." She said putting her hands on her hips.

"Well sometimes, I _don't_ like you." He shrugged. "But that hasn't stopped me from loving you."

She let her hands fall to her sides and he went over and pulled her into his arms. He felt as if he had won something tonight, despite the protests from Buffy and himself that it hadn't been a contest. He still felt victorious. Buffy had made a _real_ choice tonight. She'd been offered another chance to be with Angel. Her first love, and at times he feared, her _only_ love. But she had chosen him tonight. It made no logical sense, but he didn't care. Buffy was his now. He kissed her softly and she smiled up at him.

"So are we done with Angel rivalry thing?" She asked curiously.

"Done? No. That's never gonna happen when I'm so clearly the better vampire." He smirked.

"Oh god..." She laughed and shook her head. "Dream on."

"Hey now!" He protested. "You must think I'm the better one, or I wouldn't be the one standing here."

"There is no _better_ one." She told him.

"Yeah? Well then I'm at least the luckier one." He grinned at her.

"Don't forget it either." She kissed him again.

He pulled back from her and pushed her hair away from her face gently.

"Better get back inside before all the pizza is gone." He told her.

"I'm not really hungry." She whispered as she kissed him again.

And he wasn't complaining. Outside in this courtyard with her tonight was the only place he wanted to be.

Dawn sat silently next to Connor as they drove through the intense rush hour traffic on the freeway. It had been stop and go for the last five miles and Dawn was getting antsy. She turned to Connor.

"Are you really sure you want to do this?" She asked him.

He nodded his head. "I have to. You said that maybe I needed some kind of closure, and I think you're right. I have to see him again."

"Maybe it should wait until after the winter break?" She offered.

"Why wait? If I wait, I may not be able to confront him. I'll lose my nerve."

She nodded her head, trusting that he was really ready to face Angel again. They had talked about it in depth for the last several days but she had been surprised when he told her he wanted to meet with him today. But she supposed that if he didn't do it before the break, he'd obsess over it the entire time. And that would definitely not be a good thing.

They finally made their way at a crawl towards the freeway exit that would take them to the hotel. Dawn suddenly wondered if it would have been smart to call first? But it was day time and Angel wasn't likely to be out for a late afternoon stroll in the California sunshine. He'd be there. Dawn just hoped that both of them were ready for this.

They pulled up out front and parked the car. They each got out and Dawn stopped Connor momentarily to grab his hand. He squeezed it tightly and smiled at her.

"You've helped me a lot Dawn. I hope you know that." He said sincerely to her.

"I-I haven't done much." She looked away humbly.

He reached over and touched her face, turning her towards him to look her in the eye.

"Yes, you have. You didn't know me before...What I was like. Trust me when I say that civilized conversation and rational thinking weren't my strong suits."

"Well you're different now. And not just because of the spell."

"I know. That's why I'm thanking you. I never—_Connor_ never had anyone that really made him feel special. Loved and important..._Steve_ may have had it all, but that's still not real. This with you—this is real. This is the truth. And this is who I am now." He explained to her.

She leaned up and kissed him gently.

"You're going to be okay. I can feel it." She whispered with a smile.

He nodded his head and took her hand again. They made their way towards the hotel. Inside, Gunn was sitting on the counter cleaning some weapons as Angel perused some files.

"After years of working with her, I still can't figure out Cordelia's filing system." Angel shook his head.

"What can't you find?" Fred called out from the back office.

"I can't find that client we had a long time ago. Remember the little old man? Harvey Silvers. He had a Harkan demon under his front porch. I looked under S for Silvers. And even H for Harkan or Harvey. I've got nothing."

"Did you try looking under O?" Fred asked.

"O? Why O?"

"O for old man."

Angel sighed and opened up the filing cabinet again. At that moment Connor cleared his throat and announced their presence in the lobby. Gunn looked up first and quickly put his weapons down and jumped off the counter. Angel looked up to see who was there, and promptly dropped the files he was holding all over the floor. He scrambled to pick them up.

"You must be Connor, right? And you're Dawn. Buffy's lil' sis." Gunn nodded his head in a friendly gesture.

Dawn nodded and Connor calmly spoke, "Yeah, Gunn. I remember you. You didn't like me."

"Yeah? Maybe I didn't like you cause you tried to kill Angel by dropping him in the ocean for a coupla months." He shrugged.

"You remember that?" Connor was surprised.

Gunn shook his head, "Nah, but I've heard the story now."

Angel finally picked up his papers and looked at Connor and Dawn nervously.

"Uh, why are you guys here? Buffy's not here, if that's who you're looking for." He offered.

"We aren't here to see Buffy." Dawn shook her head.

"I'm here to see you." Connor directed his stare in Angel's direction.

"Me? Really?" Angel felt awkward and anxious. He feared that anything he said may be the wrong thing, and Connor would run out and leave again. He wanted to tread lightly.

"Yes, I wanted to talk to you. If that's alright?"

"Should I check him for weapons or something?" Gunn asked Angel.

"He doesn't have any weapons." Dawn assured them.

"It's alright, Gunn." Angel looked at Connor. "We can talk in the office."

Connor let go of Dawn's hand and she smiled.

"I'm gonna see what Willow is up to." She said as she turned and headed up the staircase.

Connor walked behind the counter and Angel led him to the office. Fred was still typing away on the laptop when they entered the room. She looked up and was startled to see that Connor was with him.

"Oh, y-you must be Connor." She stammered as she stood up from the desk.

"We need a few minutes." Angel told her.

She nodded and grabbed the laptop as she rushed out of the office. She didn't know a lot about Angel's son, only that he didn't seem to like Angel very much. She didn't know why he had suddenly shown back up, but she wasn't about to get in the middle of it.

Angel shut the door once Fred exited and he turned to Connor.

"So...what is it you wanted to see me about?" He asked, unsure if he even wanted to know why he was here.

"I'm leaving for awhile. Winter break. I'm going home." He said quietly.

"Oh? Well, good. That's good to hear." Angel nodded.

"I know Frank and Judy aren't my real parents...That's their names, by the way. Did you know that?"

Angel shook his head. Connor continued. "They aren't my real parents, but I've decided that they don't know that. They won't _ever_ know that. Understand?" He asked firmly.

"Connor, I'm not going to cause trouble with your new family. You were never even supposed to know that—"

"I know. I wasn't supposed to know that I didn't belong there, but I do know. I just don't want _them_ ever knowing that. They wouldn't understand."

"Well they won't hear it from me. You have my word." He assured him.

"Good. And as far as I'm concerned, you're not my father. Not anymore. Frank is my father."

"Understood." Angel nodded.

"You and I...we'll never be family. I know that your blood is in my veins...But blood doesn't make a family." Connor explained.

"Connor, I know all this. That's why I did what I did. I knew I could never give you the kind of life you deserved."

"I know. I think I understand that now."

"The last thing I ever wanted to do was pretend you didn't exist. No one knows how hard that was for me. But I loved you enough to let you go—right or wrong—I did it because I loved you. But I know you never loved me. You couldn't. And I get that now."

Angel tried to keep his emotions in check. Emotions never came easy for him and this situation was no exception. He was afraid to say too much or too little—knowing that the slightest mistake either way could push Connor away entirely.

"You're right. I didn't love you. I _couldn't_ love you. I blamed you for everything. Some of the things you deserved. But most of them...well that was just me. I was angry and lost and you were easy to take it out on. You were always there, in my face, trying to make nice with me. It was easy to throw it all back at you and blame you for everything. But I know it wasn't all your fault. I blame Holtz too. I blame him a lot. And I blame me."

"You weren't to blame for the way your life was." Angel protested.

"No, I wasn't. But I was the one who chose what to do with the life I was given. And most of that was a really bad choice." He admitted. "But I have a second chance now, and I want to take it."

Angel relaxed a little and leaned against the desk.

"I hope that you can find peace now. That you can be happy. For real, and not just because of a spell that I set in motion."

"Me too."

They were silent for a few moments. Angel just tried to memorize Connor's face the way it looked now. Calm and serene; with just a hint of happiness glowing in his eyes. It was a look Angel wished for him many times, and now it was reality.

"So, I understand from Buffy that you and Dawn are getting pretty close." Angel tossed that out there in an attempt to know more about Connor's new life.

He nodded, "Yeah. I like her a lot. She's...special. Different than any of the other girls I've met."

"She is special. Buffy too."

"I guess it runs in the family." Connor agreed cordially. "Look, I have to go now. I just wanted—before I left, I wanted to let you know that I'm okay."

"I'm glad to hear that. I hope you have a nice visit with your parents." Angel said sincerely.

"I will." Connor turned around and put his hand on the doorknob. He turned his head slightly, unable to make direct eye contact with Angel. "Thank you. What you did for me...maybe it was wrong. Actually I _know_ it was wrong, but thank you anyway."

Angel didn't know what to say. You're welcome didn't seem appropriate. Nothing seemed appropriate for this moment. He suddenly wished they made a Hallmark card that fit this situation. But there wasn't anything he could really say.

"Take care of yourself, Connor." He said finally.

"You too. Hope you get yourself out of the mess you got into for me."

"I will."

"Bye Angel." Connor turned the knob and exited the room without looking back.

Angel let out a deep breath and buried his face in his hands. That was one of the single most tension filled conversations he had ever had. In the end, it went a hell of a lot smoother than he feared it would. Connor wasn't angry anymore. He was calm, and accepting; ready to move on. He may have renounced Angel as his father, but for once the phrases 'I hate you' and 'You ruined my life' didn't come into play. Either way this story ended, Connor was doomed to be lost to Angel forever. If he had done nothing all those months ago, Connor would have surely died, or ended up in prison forever. Angel let him go then without ever hoping to have him back. Nothing had changed now except Connor made his own choice this time about his future. Angel couldn't make everything better with a deal anymore. Connor could have flipped out again and lived in rage at his fate, but he didn't. He chose to accept it; to accept that Angel gave him life, and move on from it. Angel had never been more proud of his son than he was at this moment.

Angel lay awake that night thinking about what had happened with Connor. For the first time since he'd made the deal with Wolfram and Hart, Angel felt truly at peace with his choice. He was angry with himself for getting the others involved in this mess, but if he had to do it all over again, he probably would still do the same. Connor had _thanked_ him. It was an amazing moment for Angel. What he had done had not been a mistake. It may not have been a wise move, but he couldn't accept that it was a mistake. Not when Connor was finally making amends with himself.

Angel thought about getting up and patrolling the streets for trouble. It had been a while since he had done that. There hadn't been much need or time lately. The streets seemed fairly quiet and Spike hadn't had a vision in several days. In the end, Angel decided it was too much like work to get up and get dressed again. He glanced at the clock noting that it read 3am. Maybe he would just run down to his office and catch up on paperwork? He couldn't stand lying there any longer.

He tore the covers off himself and rose from the bed. His bare feet padded across the floor as he fumbled to turn on the light. All at once he halted, and stood motionless in the middle of the room. Something was in there with him. He felt it. He listened for the sound of breathing or a heartbeat of some type, but he heard nothing of the sort. Maybe his instincts were wrong? He began walking slowly again, and stopped. His instincts were never wrong. He whirled around and called out into the darkened room.

"Who's there? Spike? If you've come for a bedtime story—"

"You read Spike bedtime stories? Okay that's weird...and a little disturbing." Cordy said sarcastically as she moved from the shadows of the room.

Angel stood with open mouthed shock at the sight of her.

"Cordy?"

"Duh. Who else would it be?" She asked with a small smile.

"What are you doing here?"

"Not quite the welcome I was expecting, Angel." She shook her head with a sigh. "No, 'I missed you Cordy' or 'Gee! It's good to see you!' I just get, 'What are you doing here?' That's weak." She complained.

"Well, you're dead. I-I just assumed if you're here visiting me you must have a reason." He explained. Then softly, "I missed you Cordelia."

She smiled, "That's better." She walked closer to him and he could see that she wasn't completely solid in form. "You're right though, I am here for a reason." She told him.

"What reason is that? Have we missed something?" He wondered.

"No, not really. I'm happy that you guys finally woke up and figured out what I was trying to tell you. Cause that was really annoying. Do you know how hard it is for me to appear to you guys like this?"

"No, I don't. My god...you look good." He said with awe, then realized how ridiculous it sounded. He cringed openly.

"Death becomes me? Thanks. I think."

"I just meant you look rested. No, wait, that's not right either. You just look...well you look like I remember you." He admitted quietly.

She softened her look and smiled at him again. "You're not looking so bad yourself."

"It feels like forever since...well, since I've _really_ seen you."

"I know. But I was always here Angel. Even when I couldn't let you know. But I gotta say one thing. How the hell couldn't you tell that thing walking around here last year wasn't me? I mean, hello? The outfits alone were so wrong. And sleeping with Connor? Eww. I-I mean, no offense. He's a cutie and all...but eww!" She exclaimed with distaste.

"How was I supposed to know? You were still you. Kind of. You looked like you." He defended himself.

"But the black belly dancing outfit? Please. That _so_ didn't come from my closet. Where did evil me shop anyway?" She rolled her eyes.

Angel had to laugh at that one. It felt so good to have Cordelia back again. Only he knew she wasn't really back. She was gone. This was likely the last time he'd ever see or speak to her. He didn't want the moment to end.

"Okay, so I wasn't on the ball. I should have known you'd never dress like that." He conceded.

"You used to know my taste. Remember all those clothes you bought me that one time? When you were trying to suck up and make me not hate you?" She asked with a grin.

"I remember."

"I guess it's not important now. It's not like I'm gonna be wearing my Jimmy Choo shoes anytime soon. This is pretty much the standard dead person get up. White on white. It's kinda boring." She shrugged.

"I'm sorry that I let you go. They said there was no way...I mean, they said you couldn't be saved. You were in limbo. You know I only set you free because I didn't want you to suffer." He told her seriously.

She looked down at the floor and avoided his eyes.

"It was a trick Angel. They wanted you to think I was nothing but a vegetable. But the truth is I was there the whole time. Watching you guys. Waiting to jump back into my body. But they had some kind of barrier up. I was screaming at you guys to hear me, but you couldn't. I knew you couldn't."

Angel felt like falling to his knees over this news. Yet another mistake he had made. Cordelia was dead because of him and his ties with Wolfram and Hart. He didn't know what to tell her except that he was sorry.

"You don't have to be sorry Angel. It wasn't your fault. That thing with Connor and everyone losing their memories and you signing away your soul? _That_ was your fault. This with me, you didn't know. Nobody did. I hadn't worked out how to make myself visible yet. This netherworld crap doesn't come with instructions. But once I realized you weren't going to hear me, I had to do something." She explained.

"That's when you contacted Willow."

She nodded. "Yeah. She was easier to connect to. She's tapped in. But I knew the visions weren't for her. I'd known they were meant for Spike for a long time. I just couldn't tell anyone."

"How'd you figure that out?" He wondered.

She shrugged, "You learn a lot when you're incorporeal and bored. I listened in on a lot of interesting conversations. But it got too risky. Holland was after me." She told him.

"And now?"

"He's gone. In Hell where he belongs. Willow saw to that. Finally, I might add. But that's why I'm here now. It was an opportunity for me to move freely between worlds without him and his henchmen breathing down my neck."

"Why are you here again? You said there was a reason." He inquired.

"There is a reason. A _good_ reason." She sighed softly and looked away from him. She moved closer and reached out to him. He felt her fingers brush against his softly, almost like a butterflies wings. "I came to say goodbye Angel." She whispered to him as her hand rested on his for the briefest moment.

He looked up at her and felt her hand slip slowly away from him, almost as if it were dissolving. She pulled back and smiled at him.

"I miss you Cordy." Angel told her sadly.

"Miss you too."

She started to fade away and he suddenly panicked, not wanting her to leave him again. He wanted to find some way to keep her here, but he knew it wasn't possible. He looked at her anxiously.

"I love you." He said quickly. "I know it doesn't mean much now...But I do. I love you."

"I know." She smiled. "You know that's what I was coming to tell you that night. The night I disappeared. I was rushing off to tell you what I felt. Never got the chance. Obviously. But, now you know. And now I know too."

He tried to smile amidst his sadness at losing her again.

"Try not to annoy the other dead people up there, okay?" He told her wryly.

"Well then what fun would that be?" She teased. Then, "Don't forget me, okay?"

"Never."

"Good." She smiled.

Before he could say another word, she was gone. Her spirit exited the room and Angel slumped against the wall. He closed his eyes and tried to burn the image of her into his mind. _Don't forget me_...she had said. And how could he? Cordelia may have been a lot of things, but forgettable was not one of them.

Angel walked downstairs a short time later. He had completely given up on sleep. His mind was too busy, and seeing Cordelia like that, and knowing she had come to say goodbye, had affected him greatly. He decided to try and occupy his thoughts with mindless paperwork. He walked distractedly into his dark office and went to the mini-fridge. He grabbed a container of blood absently and sat down at his desk. He flipped on the small desk lamp and was startled to find the room already occupied. He reflexively jumped and spilled some of the contents of his snack onto his papers.

"Damn it." He muttered. Then looked up at Spike. "What the hell are you doing in my office at" He looked at the clock on the wall, "4:30 in the morning?"

"Couldn't sleep." Spike shrugged as he set his own container of blood down on the desk.

"So you figured the best place to hang was in my office? In the dark?"

"I was hungry. I'm all out of refreshments in my room. So I pilfered a bit of your stash. Hope you don't mind."

"It's a little too late if I did." Angel picked up Spike's empty container, shook it, and tossed it into the trash.

"You seem extra annoying tonight. Couldn't sleep either? Or did this two year old case file on your desk warrant your attention in the middle of the night?" He asked, as he thumbed through the papers on his desk with boredom.

"I couldn't sleep. Too much on my mind." Angel admitted, grabbing the papers away from Spike.

"Yeah, I know the feeling."

"I don't really feeling like chatting Spike. If you don't mind." He motioned him towards the door. "Get the hell out of here."

Spike became annoyed that Angel refused to even be civil to him. Spike felt like he had put up with a hell of a lot of crap from Angel, especially where Buffy was concerned. The least he could do is exchange three words with him as if he mattered.

"Fine. It's not like chatting you up was the highlight of my evening." Spike scoffed and headed for the door.

Angel wasn't really sure why he did what he did next, but for that briefest moment it seemed the right thing to do.

"Stop Spike. I'm...sorry." Angel said quietly; almost painfully.

"What? You're _sorry_? Okay now I _know_ something is wrong with you." Spike said with surprise.

Angel sighed and ran his hands through his hair with agitation. "I saw Cordelia tonight." He informed Spike.

This garnered his interest and he turned around and moved back over to the desk.

"Cordelia eh? What was it this time? Anything new we need to worry about?" Spike asked curiously.

Angel shook his head, "No. Nothing new. Well, nothing that affects anyone but me."

"Ah, well, you seem a bit shook up. Guess it's tough for you." Spike offered uncomfortably.

"It was tough. Especially when she informed that I was the one that killed her."

"What? You still feel responsible for—"

"I _am_ responsible. She told me it was all a trick. Wolfram and Hart tricked me into thinking she was in torment and could never come back. So I did them a favor and got rid of her. I can't believe I was so stupid." He scolded himself angrily.

Spike wasn't sure how it happened, but he actually felt a tiny bit of sympathy for the big lug.

"You had no way of knowing Angel. I'm sure she knows that." He assured him.

"She does. She doesn't blame me. But I blame me. I made a mess of everything." Angel stood and began pacing the room anxiously.

"Well you certainly complicated everything, that's for sure. This Wolfram and Hart deal was bad news. But you knew that. Seems like you chose to pretend it meant something other than it did just to make yourself feel better." Spike proffered.

Angel wanted to argue that point, but he couldn't. Hearing it from Spike was the worst possible thing, but he was right. Angel had pretended that things would be okay and that he had a handle on Wolfram and Hart situation. But that had never been true. Angel had wanted something and they had delivered it. Simple as that. Angel had chosen to pretend that there were no consequences for that choice, but now it was biting him in the ass.

"Maybe I did know that Wolfram and Hart lied about a lot of things. But if I had thought for a moment that Cordelia was savable, I never would have let her go. I didn't just trust them about that, I had my own people looking into it. Only I had no idea they were actually blocking her somehow from coming back. But if I had known..."

"Yeah, I know. You would have saved her. But you didn't know until now, and well, it's just too late." Spike explained.

"I'm well aware that it's too late. I don't need you reminding me of that. I know I screwed things up all around. The thing of it is none of you have the slightest clue about what it's like to have a child. None of you know the pain of watching that child screw up in every possible way, while you sit there helpless to stop him or save him. You don't know what it's like to love someone so much that you'd gladly die rather than see harm come to them." Angel explained.

"I know plenty about love and being willing to die for it. Trust me."

Angel shook his head, "No, you really don't. Love between a parent and child is different. You wouldn't get it, Spike. You couldn't. I sacrificed my soul and my life and the woman I loved—all for my son's happiness. Just so he had a chance. It was wrong of me to tamper with everyone else's lives, but..."

"You're not sorry you did it. That's what all this torment is about, isn't it? You know the consequences now, and you'd still do it again." Spike theorized.

Angel didn't respond, but his silence spoke volumes. Spike didn't know what else to say. He took a chance and tried to find something relatable to tell him, however futile.

"I may not know what it's like to have a child. That's a privilege I'll never get. But I do know a thing or two about love and sacrifice—even if it's not the same, I still know." Spike told him. "You've never even asked me why I got this soul. Curious?"

"Not really." Angel shot back. Then he softened his tone. "Why?"

"Because of her. Buffy. I had a chance to go one of two ways. I paid a visit to this bloke; a demon who offered me anything I asked for if I completed a series of death defying trials. Up until the time I stood before him I wasn't sure whether I would ask to be free of my government chip, or to get a soul. Either way, living the way I was living had to end." He explained. "I knew if I got rid of the chip, I could move on, be evil as I should be. I could forget Buffy ever existed. Or I could get the soul. I knew either way Buffy would never give me the time of day again. Not after..." He trailed off.

"Not after what?" Angel asked.

Spike snapped out of his reverie and shook his head. "That part's not important." He wasn't about to share his most shameful secret with Angel. "The part that is important was that I chose to get a soul. Me, a demon! A soulless creature born only to kill. I _chose_ to get a soul because I loved her. And I knew even if she never loved me, I wanted to be the kind of man that she could respect and not despise. I gave up everything for love, so you can't tell me I don't understand why you did what you did. People do stupid things for love—any kind of love."

"I still don't get it, Spike. Why would you even bother with the soul? If you thought Buffy hated you, why?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Glutton for punishment? That's what she always used to say."

"That makes two of us."

"Then maybe we're both crazy." Spike wondered.

"Maybe." Angel agreed.

It took a moment for both of them to realize they were actually conversing and relating to one another. Both of them seemed flustered and uncomfortable by that fact. Spike backed towards the door again.

"I'm gonna go see what's on the telly upstairs. Bound to be some catchy infomercial that will pique my interest."

"Right. I should really work on these files." Angel told him quickly.

"Yeah. Later." Spike turned and walked out of the room. The impromptu vampire bonding session was now adjourned. But somehow, deep down, they both knew they were better for it.

Willow and Fred drove silently towards Wolfram and Hart. Once Willow had gotten herself together, she had gone to Fred and asked her for a favor.

"Are you sure you're okay doing this for me?" Willow asked softly.

Fred nodded. "Yeah...But just remember, I-I'm not a doctor. I'm a physicist."

"No, I know that. But you know doctors. Several of them."

"I-I know. I think Doctor Taylor is our best bet." Fred assumed.

"We just need to get the information out of there before all of this goes down. If we wait, there's no telling what might happen to it. It could get lost forever. I-I don't want to risk that." Willow told her.

Fred nodded silently. Then she glanced over in Willow's direction again.

"Are you sure _you're_ okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be? Do I not look okay?" Willow asked.

"No! You look fine. It's just...well I wasn't sure how you felt. Inside." Fred inquired softly.

Willow sighed, "Yeah, I'm pretty much a mess. But I'm dealing. I-I have something new to focus on. I can't help Tara, Fred. She's gone, and I _had_ accepted that. At least until I saw her again. But I have to realize that nothing has changed. She's still gone but I'm here. And I can still do something good. _That's_ what she would have wanted."

"I-I think you're right. I'm sure she'd be proud of you now." Fred reassured her.

"I hope so." Willow nodded softly. Then she glanced at Fred again. "You probably think I'm pretty awful don't you? Being tempted like that. Almost losing control. I-I'm not scary am I?" She asked nervously.

Fred shook her head vehemently. "You're not scary or awful. W-we were all tempted. Even if Angel hadn't signed that contract, I may have." She admitted.

"No you wouldn't have. You're a good person Fred. Smart. You wouldn't have." Willow protested.

"You don't know me that well Willow. I _was_ going to take the offer. But Angel beat me to it."

Willow looked at her with surprise, unable to believe that sweet little Fred was ready to make a deal with the devil all those months ago.

"Why?" She asked finally.

"Because." She shrugged. "Maybe I thought that I could make a difference in the world. I-I knew Wolfram and Hart was evil, but I'm not. And maybe if I had some control over what they did with that evil...well, I could make a difference. All that research they've done...it may have been done for evil purposes to begin with, but in the right hands—my hands...well, I thought I could control it somehow. Use it for good. Just like I'm trying to do now." She explained.

"They didn't offer you anything else you wanted? I-I mean they tempted me and Angel pretty severely by dangling a prize in front our noses." Willow asked.

"They only offered me full access to their medical research files. I didn't care about anything else. All I wanted was control of that information." She told Willow.

"Control is a good thing. It's too bad it didn't end up that way."

"But it did. I still have control. I-I have an entire closet filled with copies of their records." She admitted.

Willow was impressed. "How did you manage that? And more importantly, why? Did you know it would end this way?"

"No, I didn't know. But evil is evil. In the end, there's always a catch. I wasn't naive enough to think I'd be working there forever. I may not look it, but I know a thing or two about taking care of myself. I've had to do that a lot." She added quietly.

"I guess you have."

"When I was stuck in Pylea I had nothing. I knew I had to get out of there and the only possession I was allowed to have was my mind. And even that was slipping away after awhile." She explained emotionally. "But now, I feel better when I have the knowledge with me, for safe keeping. All written down and filed neatly. You never know when you might need it."

Willow sensed how painful it was for Fred to talk about Pylea and she didn't want to press it. She'd only learned the basics; that Fred had been there and rescued by Angel and the gang. She didn't know details and sensed that Fred was not eager to relive them.

"So how come this particular research wasn't in your collection?" She asked as they rounded a corner and saw the Wolfram and Hart building come into view.

"Well, I have some of it, but it's not complete. It was always heavily guarded. I managed to tuck some of it away, but the real meat of it, the spells used to complete the regeneration process, that's what I'm missing."

They pulled into the parking structure and Willow switched off the ignition. She turned to Fred.

"Well, we won't be missing that for long." She smiled.

They got out of the car and headed for the secret entrance they'd used to save Spike. They didn't know who was left to watch them with Holland and Lilah gone, but they didn't want to take any chances. This information was too important to Willow for her to fail.

Angel and Wes were inside Angel's corporate office, likely for the last time. Angel hadn't been there in a awhile. At least not for any length of time. He had been trying to keep his distance from the place. But now it was important that he be there. He walked around the room as Wesley sat at the desk with the computer humming. Angel was dictating a message and Wes typed dutifully.

"Do you think we should mention that Holland and Lilah are gone?" He asked Wes curiously.

"No, I think it's better to leave it vague. Something to the effect of 'you no longer have to worry about who's watching you'. Put them at ease, yet we don't want to give out any details that could prompt someone to get power hungry."

"That's true. But it's going to happen anyway. We know that." Angel conceded.

"Yes, it is inevitable. But we need some way to let those who want out to know that they are free. Otherwise they'll still believe they're chained to Wolfram and Hart for eternity." Wes pointed out.

"Okay, how about this: Contracts have been renegotiated. You're free to leave. End memo." He offered with a shrug.

"Simple yet to the point."

"Exactly. If someone has questions we direct them to the Hyperion. Anyone on the up and up gets amnesty. Those who are looking to get ahead; ferret information and rebuild, we terminate."

"Kill them?"

"I meant fire them. But if they warrant killing..." Angel left that sentence dangling precariously.

"Well, it may confuse some people if we aren't more specific about what's transpired." Wes brought up a good point.

"These are smart people, Wes. Smart people who care about only one thing. Saving their asses. If they're curious about what it means, they'll ask us." Angel told him simply. "Long term, this little magic show isn't going to matter much. But short term? We gain a few more knowledgeable players for our side, and the rest of them are left to flounder out there for awhile until they come up with something else. Either way, it buys us time and gives us power."

Wes nodded his head. Angel was right. If they pulled everything off flawlessly, at best all they had done is buy time. But anyone who defected from Wolfram and Hart was another check in the plus column. One more soul saved. At least that's the way Angel was looking at it. Wes finished typing and looked up at Angel.

"Anything else you want to add to this?" He asked.

Angel shook his head, "No. That's enough. I want this memo sent out tomorrow after all is said and done. Can you do that?"

"Yes, I'll set it up to be emailed tomorrow evening, as well as a paper memo. By the following day I'd say it will reach everyone."

"Good. Then it's done."

"Not quite. We still have the last hurdle to cross." Wes reminded him.

"I'm not worried. Willow can do this."

Wes silently nodded in agreement. He had faith in Willow, but her fragile mental state was worrisome to him. He didn't confide this to Angel though. No sense in worrying about something that may or may not come to pass. He kept quiet as he set up the mass mailing for all the Wolfram and Hart employees.

Buffy sat on the edge of the bed up in Spike's room at the Hyperion. He was looking over some paperwork that Willow had given him. Apparently she had spirited away from the Wolfram and Hart research lab with dozens of spells used to regenerate human tissue. The only problem was, the spells were in a demon tongue she'd never seen before. Spike had offered to try and make use of them. He spoke dozens of languages; some human, some demon. Buffy had been surprised when he had recognized one of the spell languages with just one glance. The others were proving to be a little trickier.

"Are you having any luck?" Buffy asked with a slightly bored tone.

"A little." He told her as he put the papers down on the table. He walked over to her. "You're bored, aren't you?" He asked.

"No. Of course not. I'm just—well, a little bored. I-It seems like I'm not really needed around here. Everyone has some special skill and I'm just sitting here. I feel a little useless." She admitted.

He stroked her hair gently and sat down next to her. "You're not useless. You've never been useless." He assured her.

"Well, so far I haven't had to do anything except stand around and look intimidating to evil things. I haven't even broken a sweat in days."

"Well, there was that Covack demon we killed the other night. Remember the vision? Angel wasn't here so you stepped up. That meant something didn't it?" He asked.

She sighed, "I guess."

"You don't seem convinced." He noted.

"I'm not. I've been thinking a lot lately...And I think it's time I do something real with my life." She said letting out a deep breath.

"This isn't real?"

"No, it is real. But...well, it's not enough for me anymore. I-I still want to help out, and if I'm needed, I'm there. No questions asked. But all this sitting around...I've decided to go back to school." She informed him.

"School?"

"Yes. You know that building with all the teacher shaped people? Students, books, etcetera."

"I'm aware of what a school is, but why would you go back now? Aren't you a little—"

"What? Old? I'm not even twenty-three yet. Not for three more weeks. And you're one to talk about being old." She glared at him.

"I was going to say aren't you a little behind to start that up again." He clarified. "It's been several years since you were in school. Do you even have any school records?" He wondered.

"Oh. Well, I-I am a little behind. But Dad pulled some strings about the records. He got me enrolled again. I just had to take a placement test. Classes start at the end of January." She told him.

Spike was silent for a moment as he studied her face.

"Are you trying to tell me something else, Buffy? Are you saying I don't fit into college Buffy's life?" He asked softly, not wanting to hear her answer.

"No. That's not what I'm saying. But maybe college Buffy doesn't really fit into _your_ life." She told him sadly.

He scooted closer to her and took her hand again.

"Why would you think that?" He asked.

"Because. You fell for the _Slayer_. And now I'm really not. I mean technically I am _a_ Slayer, but not _the_ Slayer. There are others now. I'm surprised another one hasn't shown up on Angel's doorstep yet."

"And you think that the minute another Slayer shows up my interest will suddenly lie elsewhere?" He asked incredulously.

"I don't know. Maybe." She shrugged. "I mean you have to admit, if I wasn't the Slayer, you and I wouldn't be sitting here right now. Nothing that happened with us would have happened. Angel too. So don't tell me it doesn't make a difference to you."

"I never said it didn't make a difference. But just because you decide to further your knowledge and go back to school doesn't mean you cease being a Slayer. It's not your _job_, Buffy. It's who you are. You're the one who told me that, don't you remember?" He recalled.

She nodded her head slightly and looked away from him.

"Yeah, I remember. I just don't want to be...boring to you. I always whined about not having a normal life. Then I had one and hated it. Then I tried to be nothing but a Slayer again because it felt familiar. But now I'm not sure _who_ I want to be or what I should do." She admitted with her voice trembling slightly.

"You can do anything you want to, Buffy. This has always been your biggest problem. You keep thinking you have to choose who and what to be. There is no either or. Buffy the girl _is_ Buffy the Slayer. They're one in the same. Don't you get that yet?" He asked.

She looked up at him and shrugged slightly. "I think I'm starting to get it."

"It's about time. The world is yours now. Once you accept that you can save the world _and_ yourself at the same time, you'll be on your way."

"I guess you're right." She agreed. "Maybe I really _am_ too stupid for college if I can't even figure out who I am when it's apparently so easy for everyone else to see it." She groaned and flopped herself back on the bed.

"You're not stupid. Believe me when I was your age, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was wasting my days away writing poetry and having tea with my dying mother."

"You didn't go to school? College?" She asked as she sat up again.

"No, I did. I graduated with honors from the University. The only problem was, I had a degree but no direction. All this useless knowledge up in my brain and not a clue how to use it. I always figured once Mum was gone I'd figure it out. I obviously didn't plan to become a vampire in between that time." He remarked.

"Yeah, I guess that part wasn't planned." She said awkwardly.

"It's not really important now. The thing I'm trying to get across is people are always trying to find themselves. Age has no bearing on that. Why do you think people like your father have mid-life crises and end up shagging their secretary and driving shiny sports cars? He's just as lost as you are, I'd reckon."

"That's really not helping Spike. That's just saying that I'm borne of a long line of losers with no sense of self." She complained.

"That's not what I'm saying." He protested.

"I know. I guess I just need to be strong." She said lifting her chin up and taking a deep breath.

"Maybe I'm the one who needs to be strong here. Maybe you'll never find yourself hanging around with the likes of me. Maybe I should let you go." He said remorsefully.

She shook her head vigorously. "No. No way. I don't want that. I don't want anyone else to walk away from me because they're stuck on being noble or some other crap like that. If you end up hating me then fine, walk away. But don't you _dare_ leave me because it's the 'right' thing to do." She said seriously.

Spike laughed slightly and shook his head. "The noble act isn't cutting it with you anymore, eh?"

"No. It never did. I don't give a crap about nobility. I just want to live my life the way I want without someone trying to make decisions for me. If I wanna date a vampire, I'll date a vampire. If I wanna go to school I'm going to school. I don't care what anyone else thinks of my life. It's mine and I'll do what I want with it." She said with strong conviction.

"Well then, I pity the poor sod who tries to challenge you." He smiled at her.

Some of the tension drained from her shoulders when she saw his smile. She relaxed slightly and looked at him.

"So you really don't care if I go back to school?" She asked.

"Why would I care?"

"I-I don't know. I guess I thought it made me seem ordinary."

"You've been to school before. And you couldn't be ordinary if you tried. In fact you _have_ tried and look where that got you." He chuckled.

She laughed slightly at that point, realizing she was working herself up over nothing. She just hadn't wanted Spike to be disappointed in her decision. In the past he tried to convince her she didn't belong in the real world. She belonged in the shadows with him. But she had to remember that was the old Spike. The one who didn't have a soul. The one who would do anything to keep her isolated and with him. He wasn't like that anymore. She'd had known he had changed, but sometimes she wasn't sure how much.

"So where is it you'll be matriculating? UCLA? USC?" He asked.

"Think lower, like Santa Monica College." She told him. "Seems I was a little rusty on my knowledge. But that's okay. I-I can always transfer later."

"What are you going to study?"

"Um, teaching I think. I'm not sure what yet, but I liked working at Sunnydale High. Even if Principal Wood only hired me to guard the Hellmouth and keep tabs on me. I still enjoyed it." She told him honestly.

"Well, that's great. I know you'll be good at whatever you decide to do." He smiled at her.

"I hope so." She said uncertainly.

He pulled her closer to him and just held her for awhile. Buffy was on her way to finally making peace with herself and her destiny. Spike was still unsure he belonged in the picture of her shiny new future, but he wouldn't bring it up again. This was Buffy's time. She needed to find her own way and if somewhere down the line she realized that way didn't include him, he'd be ready for it. But for now, he wanted to enjoy the way she felt in his arms. They were both working on their second chances at life and Spike knew that neither one of them should be alive right now. Somehow that made him feel like the luckiest person on earth. But he knew better than that. They'd both been brought back to life not to find happiness but to serve a purpose; a mission. It was a lot of weight to rest on anyone's shoulders. But for the first time in Buffy's life she'd finally found the balance she was craving. Spike was still working on it.

Sometimes he wanted nothing more than to scoop Buffy up and leave town to go to a place where no one knew them or what they were. He wanted to forget all about saving people he didn't even know, and try and save what was left of himself. But that wasn't a luxury he could afford. With a soul he knew this. Other things were more pressing than his personal happiness but his impetuous nature was still intact. He was trying to keep it in check and keep his eyes focused on the bigger picture. Even if Buffy decided he wasn't fitting into her life at some point in the future, he had her now—and that was more than he ever expected he would get.

Willow had transformed her bedroom into some kind of magical shrine. She had stacks of contracts positioned around a circle of leaves that she had collected from outside. In the middle of the circle were red and black candles, encircled again by a thin line of purple colored sand. Incense burned in ever corner of the room, making everything smell like sage and myrrh.

Fred was walking to each corner of the room chanting something and sprinkling a fine powdery substance onto the floor. Willow glanced over at her.

"Are you almost done?" She asked.

Fred nodded, not looking up as she finished her last chant and sprinkling. "Done." She said with satisfaction.

"Good." Willow nodded. "Wes? Do you have the Valerian root?"

"Right here." He handed over a small plastic baggie. Willow had sent him out to get what she had failed to procure the day Holland had confronted her. She couldn't bring herself to revisit the store yet.

She took the root and placed it into a small ceramic bowl. She sprinkled it with a red powder and placed it on a table behind her.

"Okay. I think everything is in order now. Why don't you get the others." Willow instructed Fred with a small smile.

She exited the room and Willow and Wes looked at each other.

"So it's the big day. Ready?" She asked him.

"Are you?" He wondered.

She nodded, "I'm more than ready." She said confidently.

"You aren't worried that you may tap into the dark energies surrounding these contracts with the devil? One contract—Lilah's contract, was merely a small sampling. We're talking about over a hundred contracts this time."

"I'm ready Wes. Don't you trust me?" She asked slightly hurt.

"I do trust your skills, yes. But your mental—"

"My mental what?" She asked hurt by his doubts of her.

"Your mental _state_. I realize that what happened with Holland was a good thing. I'm certainly not judging you in any way for destroying him. But you admitted to a loss of control of your power at that moment. That's what concerns me. I believe strongly you can do this, but I worry what it may unleash for you." He said honestly.

"I'm in control now. Believe me. The last thing I want to do is put myself at risk—or put any of you at risk. I'm okay. If I didn't think I was okay I wouldn't be doing this. You just have to trust me." She said seriously.

It hurt her that he doubted her, but she supposed she couldn't blame him. Only days before she'd been teetering on the edge. But she truly felt okay now. She was calm and relaxed. Her emotions in check. She was ready and she just hoped she could prove herself here today.

She went back to busying herself with the final placement of things around the room. Anything to distract her from Wes's doubting eyes. A few moments later everyone else began shuffling into the room, proving the space to be a little cramped. But Willow didn't notice. She was too focused on her task.

"Okay, I need everyone positioned outside the circle. Holding hands." She instructed them. "It's important for me to draw on your energy, so no matter what happens, do not break the circle."

Everyone except Buffy joined hands around the magic circle of contracts and leaves. Buffy was to aid Willow during the spell. She was the only one who had no ties to Wolfram and Hart, by employment or otherwise. Her presence in the circle wasn't required but Willow did need her and her strength.

"Are you sure you're okay with this Buffy?" She asked quietly, trying not to let everyone else hear.

She nodded, "I'm good, Will. It's not the first time I've shared power with people." She said lightheartedly. "And it's not the first time I've shared that power with you." She remembered.

Willow smiled and gave Buffy's hand a squeeze. Willow placed a purple stoned amulet around Buffy's neck that matched one she had around hers. The stone connected them together on a metaphysical level. Willow flipped the lights off, plunging the room into semi-darkness. Dozens of candles served as the only light Willow would need.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"Goddess of protection and light, we beseech thee. Evil abounds. Goddess of wisdom and power grant me the strength to overcome." She chanted. "Goddess of serenity and peace bestow unto me your tranquility."

The floor began to rumble slightly and a slight breeze threatened to blow out the candles. Willow never wavered.

"Puritan of goodness release the bonds that tie these souls to eternity. Release the shackles of torment and restore!" She commanded. "White light of the righteous encircle their souls!"

Willow's words were getting more and more forceful as her power began to grow. Willow reached out blindly and grasped Buffy's hand tightly. A powerful white light shot through the room and through everyone in the circle, coming to rest around Buffy and Willow. Effectively encasing them in a protective shield. The ground began to quake more violently and Willow shouted to the others.

"Don't let go! No matter what happens, don't let go!" She told them and they obeyed.

"Guardian of the damned, release them! Release their souls. Make them whole again!" She shouted.

This time a red light shot around the room, but bounced off the protective shield Willow had put up around them all. Willow reached behind her grabbing the bowl with the Valerian root and the powder. She held it in front of her.

"Purify!" She shouted and the contents of the bowl erupted into flame. Willow picked up a copy Angel's contract and held it over the flames. It began to smolder and char filling the room with an acrid smelling red smoke. "Release and return!"

All at once the contracts surrounding the circle at everyone's feet erupted into flame, startling them. Their first instinct was to recoil and Willow knew this.

"Don't let go!" She told them, and they all tried to push back from the flames without severing their connection.

At this moment the flames transformed in front of their eyes becoming almost human like. They melded together forming a discernable figure in the middle of the circle. It opened its flaming mouth and shrieked at them painfully, sending sparks flying across the room. Willow saw this and let go of Buffy's hand and began chanting in a language no one else had heard before. It was as if she was possessed and Buffy began to get worried. She wondered if she should do something, but Willow had instructed them all to let everything be no matter what happened.

Willow raised her arms in the air and shot white lightning from her fingertips, much like the lightning that had disintegrated Holland. The flame beast recoiled, screamed and disappeared in a shower of white and blue sparks. Everyone ducked down, but never released their hands.

"Guardian of purity restore them! Return what was lost, what was stolen. Right the wrongs. Sever the ties!" She shouted.

All at once the room filled with white light again nearly fooling Angel and Spike into thinking it was daylight. Reflexively they turned their eyes away to shield themselves. The sound of breaking glass filled the room but no one paid attention. The light vanished with a loud popping sound and a gust of wind blew through the room extinguishing the candles and the remnants of the burning contracts. Everyone became quiet and still except for the heavy breathing emanating from Willow as she leaned back against the wall trying to compose herself. Buffy rushed to her side.

"Are you okay? My god, Willow!" She said with concern as she realized Willow's eyes were glowing completely white.

She panted and nodded her head, unable to form words. She closed her eyes and Buffy tried to help her stand straight. Everyone else released their hands and gathered around Willow.

"Is she okay?" Angel asked worriedly.

"I-I don't know." Buffy shook her head.

Willow threw her head back and opened her eyes again. They were normal once more. She looked at everyone.

"I'm okay. I'm okay..." She assured them.

"Is it over? Did it work?" Gunn asked curiously.

"Yes, it's over. And it worked. I can feel it." Willow nodded her head as she attempted to return her breathing back to normal. She looked at Angel. "You're free Angel."

Angel nodded his head thankfully and looked at Buffy.

"We should lay her down. She's weak." He told her.

Willow pushed off Buffy and stood up straight. "I'm fine. Really. It was just very...intense. But I'm good." She assured them again.

Fred flipped the lights back on and they surveyed the damage to the room. The windows were broken, and the mirror over Willow's dresser was shattered. There were scorch marks on the carpet and everything smelled like burning wool and incense. The bed was drooping to one side and the bedspread was filled with broken glass and pieces of wood from the window frame. The drapes were burned leaving small scraps of charred fiber dangling from the curtain rod. Willow walked slowly to the bed and brushed off some of the debris to sit down.

"That was amazing." She said finally, a smile creeping over her lips.

"_You_ were amazing Will." Buffy said happily, relieved that Willow had escaped any lasting harm.

"You really were! I almost peed my pants when that fire beastie thing appeared." Fred said anxiously.

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting that." Buffy agreed.

"I was. It's okay. I had everything under control." Willow told them.

"Yes, you did Willow. Nice work." Wes said honestly as he stepped forward. He gave her a nod and she accepted his wordless apology. Despite his worries she had pulled it off flawlessly.

Lorne stepped forward and patted Willow on the back.

"You done good, Sweet-cheeks. I always knew you were a strong one." He smiled at her.

"You didn't seem so convinced of that a few days ago when you and Angel thought I was evil." She pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I was always convinced you were strong. Believe me. But now I know that strength doesn't just extend to your magical abilities." He said sincerely.

She smiled at him and looked down at her hands.

"So it's really over then? Angel doesn't work for Wolfram and Hart anymore?" Fred asked curiously.

"It's over, Fred. Angel's free."

"And so are hundreds of other employees." Wes reminded them all. "That memo will be going out shortly. We'll have our work cut out for us very soon."

"Let's not think about that now. My brain hurts." Willow complained rubbing her temples.

Everyone agreed with a collective rumbling about how tired they all were. No one noticed when someone else entered the room.

"So...looks like you guys could use a carpenter." Xander said as he surveyed the damage from Willow's spell.

Willow looked up at his voice and grinned widely. She stood up and ran over to him.

"Xander!" She shrieked as she engulfed him in a warm hug. "You came! Hey! I told you not to come." She said as she pulled away from him and gave him a disapproving look.

"What can I say? I missed cleaning up after you guys. Looks like I got here just in time." He indicated the destruction around them.

Buffy walked over and hugged Xander tightly.

"I've missed you." She said sincerely as she gave him a squeeze.

"I've missed you too, Buff." He said warmly. "I've missed all of you guys." Xander took in the rest of the faces in the room. Some familiar and some not. He focused on Spike and Angel. "Well, maybe not all of you." He added giving them a look.

Angel and Spike just ignored his jabs and stood there with their arms folded across their chests. Xander just shook his head and sighed.

Willow looked at everyone else in the room and took Xander's hand.

"Everyone, this is Xander. Xander this is everyone." Willow introduced him. "That's Fred, Gunn, and Lorne and well, you know Wesley." She pointed to everyone.

Wes stepped forward and extended his hand to Xander. They shook and Xander appraised him.

"You've changed. I didn't even recognize you." He told Wes surprised.

"You've changed a bit yourself." Wes noted Xander's eye-patch.

He touched it self-consciously and turned his head away from Wes.

"War wounds." Xander said dismissively.

Wes fingered the scar around his neck where he'd been slashed by Justine.

"I know the feeling."

Later that evening Xander and Willow sat in her temporary room. She had taken up residence in the room adjacent to hers for the night. They sat cross-legged on the bed across from one another. Xander was silent as he absorbed what Willow had just finished telling him.

"Are you sure it's safe?" He asked finally.

She nodded, "Yeah. Fred said it's been very successful. You don't have to do it though. I-I mean if you don't want to."

"No I want to. Believe me. I guess I just wasn't expecting this." He said surprised. "When were you going to tell me?"

"Later. Once everything else here settled down. I was going to call you. But since you're here now...well, surprise!" She said with a hopeful smile.

"Well, it's a surprise alright. But I'm game. What's the worst that could happen? If it doesn't work I'm pretty much in the same boat as I am now."

"Fred and I are planning to find a doctor to perform the actual surgery. She knows someone from Wolfram and Hart that she trusts."

"Yeah, Wolfram and Hart. That's the only problem I have. I don't want some evil doc to cut me open and do freaky things with me, Will." He shook his head.

"No, it's okay. Really. Dr. Taylor is a good surgeon. And he's only a level two." She told him.

"A level two?"

"That just means that he's less corrupted than the others."

"Well that's a confidence booster. Hey, my doctor may be corrupted by evil, but he's _less_ corrupted. That's very comforting." He said wryly.

"I'm not selling you on this am I?" She asked weakly.

He took her hands and gave them a squeeze.

"It's okay, Will. I want to do it. I'm really happy you thought about me." He told her.

"Of course I thought about you. You don't still think I didn't tell you about all this because I didn't want you here, do you?" She wondered sadly.

"No, I'm good. Either way, it doesn't matter. I would have just been in the way. I get that and I'm not mad."

"Are you going to stay now?" She asked.

"I don't know. My cousin's hardware store is pretty exciting business." He said sarcastically. "But who knows? I could get used to LA. Especially if I've got two eyes again. Maybe there's hope for me yet?"

"There's tons of hope. A boatload of hope." She smiled.

He looked down at his hands.

"So...uh, Fred? She's cute huh?" He said tentatively.

"She really is." Willow agreed. Then frowned. "You've got a crush on Fred?" She asked.

He looked up at her with surprise.

"No! Will, I only saw her for five minutes. I was just merely saying she's cute and that might prompt a fellow with two eyes to get to know her better."

"Oh. Well, she's great. Sweet and kind...but she's a tough chick. You'd never know it by looking at her."

"It's always the quiet ones." He laughed. "Wait. _You_ don't have a crush on her do you? I don't wanna step on anyone's territory."

"Me? No. Of course not." She protested. Then she shrugged. "Maybe I did a little. But it's hopeless. Believe me. She used to date Gunn. I-I can't really compete with a sexy bald head and a mountain of muscles."

Xander laughed and shook his head.

"Sadly, neither can I." He looked at his paunchy physique. "I really need to hit the gym again."

"You look great Xander." She said reassuringly.

"Thanks for lying. It makes my wounded ego feel better." He chuckled.

Later on everyone else had retired to their own rooms. They knew they needed to be rested for the inevitable fallout that would occur with all of the Wolfram and Hart employees suddenly displaced. It would be a long road ahead restructuring everything, and trying to stay ahead of the Senior Partners as they struggled to recruit again. But they were up to it. The slight reprieve they had gained was badly needed.

Buffy had decided to spend the night with Spike in his room. Angel had cringed slightly when he saw them walk hand and hand towards Spike's quarters. He knew he had to let Buffy go, but knowing so blatantly what they may be doing in that room together would never be comforting to him. But it wasn't his place anymore to worry about it. As Angel walked past the room he heard Buffy laughing inside and against his will he smiled. She was happy. He had to admit that. He didn't approve or understand, but she was laughing. Spike could make her laugh. That was something Angel rarely, if ever, accomplished with her. He slipped into his own room and shut the door behind him.

Willow lay in bed trying to find sleep. She was exhausted, yet she couldn't switch her mind off. It didn't help that she was in an unfamiliar room for the night. Suddenly she felt a presence in the room and her heart started racing. Her immediate thought was that she had unleashed something evil and it was now roaming around the hotel looking for trouble.

She sat up quickly and looked around the room. She saw Cordelia materialize once more at the foot of the bed. Willow let out a relieved sigh. Cordy smiled.

"Hey you. Good job." She told Willow.

"Thanks. I-I thought you were done coming around? Angel said—"

"Yeah, I know. I wasn't supposed to be here tonight, but they made an exception for me." She shrugged.

"They? I-Is there something else I need to know? Did I mess something up?" Willow asked nervously.

"No, not at all. In fact you were brilliant. That's why I'm here."

"It is?"

Cordy nodded. "I have a message from the Powers That Be. They were pretty impressed with what you did. I think they called it miraculous or something. I wasn't really listening. They tend to ramble on using a lot of big words." Cordy waved her hands dismissively. "Anyway, they sent me here to give you a message. A present actually. A thank you."

"A thank you? From the Powers That Be?"

"They think you earned it."

"Earned what?" Willow asked.

"Closure."

And with that Cordelia disappeared. Willow was completely confused for a moment but then she saw the glow that Cordy left behind taking shape again. Willow stared at the sight as another figure formed. Blonde hair, long and flowing, partially concealing her face. But there was no mistaking who it was. Willow gasped as tears began to flow from her eyes.

"Tara." She whispered in awe. "Oh my god...It's really you this time, isn't it?"

Tara stepped forward and smiled.

"It's really me." She assured her.

Willow threw the covers off of her and stood up. She faced Tara and grinned through her tears.

"I can't believe it's really you."

"I can't stay long. But I wanted to let you know how proud I am of you." Tara said supportively.

"Oh god...you've seen it all haven't you? All of the things I did." Willow gasped in horror as she remembered her crimes.

Tara nodded. "I saw it all. I _felt_ it all, Willow. I know everything."

"You must be so disgusted with me." Willow cried softly.

"Shh...No. I'm not. I was sad, not disgusted. You lost sight of yourself, but you found your way back. I saw what they tempted you with. Trying to make you believe that was me you were talking to. First with Cassie then when Holland tried to trick you. I watched your pain, and I couldn't do anything. But you overcame it without me. You held onto the truth. I always knew you were amazing and you proved me right."

"I've missed you so much." Willow whimpered.

"I've missed you too. But I've never left you. Not really. I'm always right here." Tara reached out and placed her ghostly hand over Willow's heart.

Willow felt a chill run through her and she reached down to take Tara's hand. It wasn't solid and Willow felt a fine mist float over her fingers as she passed through her.

"I love you, Tara. No one else will ever take your place." Willow said sincerely.

"I know. But you've started moving on and that's good. It's healthy. I can't come back but you still have to live. Whatever you do or whomever you choose, just know that I'm smiling. The only joy I'll ever need is knowing you're happy again." Tara smiled.

"So you forgive me for everything I did? All the mistakes I made..."

"I forgive you. And I still love you. I'm at peace now, so don't you ever worry about me." Tara whispered soothingly.

She reached out and ran her hand over Willow's hair. Willow felt the faintest tingle of cool air breeze through it. Tara leaned over and placed her lips over Willow's. Chills ran through her as the softest whisper of a touch brushed over her lips.

Tara pulled back and smiled at Willow. She took her hand and placed something solid into it. Something smooth and thin, but Willow didn't look down.

"I love you Willow. Always."

"I love you too."

"Be brave."

And with that Tara disappeared again. Willow stood breathlessly trying to discern if that had been a dream or just some fevered fantasy she had dreamed up to make herself feel better. She suddenly remembered the object in her hand and looked down. In her hand she held a photograph of herself with Tara. Smiling and hugging each other. It had been taken at Tara's birthday party all those years ago when her family had tried to take Tara away. They were so much in love in this picture. Everything was still new and fresh. Willow wiped her eyes and smiled at the photo. Somehow, someway, Tara had found a way to give her this one last gift. The gift of memory. Proof that Tara had existed and had been in Willow's life. She would cherish this moment forever. But it was also time to move on, just like Tara had said. It was time to let go of her pain and start living again.

Everyone had to let go of the past and start anew. Los Angeles may have been a city filled with lost souls, but the souls that resided in this hotel were well on their way to finding themselves again. Everyone had made mistakes but they were stronger for them now. It was a new beginning. It would be a long road filled with obstacles, but Willow felt confident for the first time ever that all of them would be okay. It was that knowledge that Tara had given to her. The knowledge that all the previous damage they all had done was finally going to be righted. She had to be brave. They all had to be brave and fortune would smile upon them.

The End—


End file.
